(Dr. Barry Simon's Third Visit To Power Surge)

Dearest:   My guest tonight is no stranger to Power Surge. DR. BARRY SIMON returns 
for his third visit. A Psychiatrist, Psychoanalyst, Professor and Author of BREAK 
THE WEIGHT LOSS BARRIER. Dr. Simon specializes in the treatment of obesity, 
lectures internationally on the implementation of weight management and wellness 
strategies and has appeared on numerous radio and TV shows.

"Break The Weight Loss Barrier" provides readers with the keys they need to unlock 
a future of looking and feeling good. An approach to weight loss and good health 
that helps you break the weight loss barrier by developing a diet and lifestyle 
that helps you cope with your cravings.

Learn how to apply proven mental strategies and common sense nutritional 
guidelines to a personalized weight-loss plan. You can attain your weight-loss 
goals and achieve fitness, self-confidence and glowing good health.

Welcome back to Power Surge, Barry :)


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks!  It's great to be back.


Dearest:   And great to have you back :)

In your book you say, "Watch how your inner conversations, your feelings and your 
body tensions shift from before you exercise to afterwards. You'll see that 
exercise not only gets your body moving, but also your mind." What actual changes 
does exercise have on our mental being?


Dr. Barry Simon:   The exercise literally brings us into a better state of mind 
through endorphins.  This has its own positive thinking patterns.  Exercise is a 
great way to stay on track with any goal.  Many people eat because of tension- 
exercise melts it away.


Dearest:   And would you say exercise, having those effects on our minds, can 
actually help us be more successful in following our weight-reduction programs? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   For sure. It really gets your disaster thinking to disappear.


Dearest:   So, what sort of "inner conversations" can people who hate 
exercise have to make it more tolerable and even fun? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   First of all, never focus on the exercise. Focus on the outcome.  
Create an image or thoughts of how good you feel when you have finished.  That way 
you can avoid the whole problem of imagining the pains of exercising. 


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. HSPEC, go ahead.


HSpec:   How do you suggest a person who is terribly out of shape get started on 
an exercise program?


Dr. Barry Simon:   First stop saying you're terribly out of shape.  That will 
destroy your enthusiasm.  Next, I'd advise you to start with finding a buddy to 
walk with.  Then decide on a fun activity. 


HSpec:   Such as?


Dr. Barry Simon:   What do you like?


HSpec:   Walking


Dr. Barry Simon:   So stick with it and be regular.  Buy a pedometer to see the 
improvement. 


HSpec:   Thank you.


Alexipoo:   How can one deal with the changes in metabolism caused by "the 
Change"?


Dr. Barry Simon:   The Change can really slow your metabolism down and really send 
you in a tailspin mentally.  So I always advise that you eat regularly- five to 
six times a day - small meals.  Talk to your doctor about OMEGA 3 and 9 (flaxseed 
and evening primrose) and find a relaxing exercise like yoga.


Dearest:   Barry, isn't yo-yo'ing up and down on diets as bad, if not worse, for 
your health than remaining overweight? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Many people go up and down five pounds.  That is weight 
management system.  For others who go up 15-20 pounds, that will hurt your body 
and mind.  So, yes. Overweight is not the issue, by the way.  The issue is a 
dangerous weight.  For example if your waist circumference is greater than 100 cm 
(I'm Canadian) and your triglycerides are high you are in big trouble and need 
attention.


MaryO:   Do you have a specific diet plan in your book, or do you recommend something 
like Weight Watchers?  If you have your own plan, could you describe it for us?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sure, the program in the book is a low fat program.  It was 
written by Dr. James Meschino, who would be a great guest by the way.


MaryO:   Thanks :)  


Dr. Barry Simon:   I think Weight watchers is a great program.


Dearest:   What are your thoughts about all the clothing manufacturer's now making 
clothes in larger sizes to suit the larger woman/man? Is this perpetuating the 
problem of obesity or a form of acceptance and is this good or bad? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   I hope people don't think that bigger clothing is an invitation 
to grow.  I think the problem is bigger than that.  We are living a sedentary 
existence on Cowboy servings.  Our thinking is mixed up.  We want to be thin but 
live this way. 


Dearest:   Don't you think food has taken on a new meaning, much greater than just 
sustenance? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   I think people are anxious and rushed and food is one of the 
nation's sedatives.  I also believe we all want rewards for our efforts and food 
is universally available.  So many people chose food over relaxation strategies or 
yoga or speaking to a friend.


Dearest:   And who ever came up with the expression "comfort food" when there's 
nothing really comfortable about it while we're eating it or the end results? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Comfort food really speaks to our pain.


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. HSPEC, go ahead, please.


HSpec:   Can you suggest ways to help avoid cravings and the "need" for comfort 
foods?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sure.  First figure out if you are suffering from anxiety or 
depression.  Next, decide if you have everyday tension and stress.  If that is the 
case, I recommend that you learn some form of movement meditation.


SylvryMoon:   Personally, I think that clothing in larger sizes is an attempt to 
promote stronger self-esteem in heavier people.  I'm grateful for it.  It doesn't 
mean I have permission to be sedate and inactive, just proud to be "me."  Although 
I deeply wish to lost 40 lbs (and it's up to me!!), I disagree with your 
philosophy that larger clothing is permission to not exercise.  We all deserve to 
look beautiful.


Dr. Barry Simon:   Permission to not exercise was not my point.  I don't think it 
is part of the problem.  The clothing industry is filling a real need!  I am more 
worried about the other end of the spectrum, our children.


Wildflowers:   Thanks..Hspec asked my question.  I also have a broken sesmoid 
foot bone in the process of healing.  I can't do a whole lot of distance 
walking..a stationary bike would work, right?


Dr. Barry Simon:   I don't know for sure.  You'll need to check with a family 
doctor.  We psychiatrists don't see a lot of those bones.  A stationary bike is a 
great way to stay fit and do something else - watch TV read or talk on the phone. 


Wildflowers:   Thank you 


Dearest:   Barry, can we go back to the discussion about larger sized clothing, 
larger women being featured in magazines - a generally larger society and if it's 
giving us mixed messages? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sure - what would you like to discuss?


Dearest:   To be blunt?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sure


Dearest:   Why is it suddenly beautiful to be fat?  These aren't necessarily my 
views. I'm just trying to explore this issue.


Dr. Barry Simon:   I don't know if it is beautiful or ugly from societies 
perspective.  It seems great that people who are overweight don't need to wear 
clothing that is so unattractive.  This at least seems to respect our world.  At 
the same time I know people want to lose weight and be fitter.  So our message is 
probably a combination of acceptance and commitment to be healthy. 


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. 


SylvryMoon:   Dr. Simon, can you explain how men (in general) view menopausal 
women?  What do they want from us physically?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   It's very mixed in my therapy experience.


Dearest:   To be 25 and postmenopausal :)


SylvryMoon:   LOL


Dr. Barry Simon:   I find it hard to come up with a really good answer. What are 
your thoughts gang?  Can I ask that? 


Dearest:   Well, why don't you answer as if you were asked the question..  How do 
YOU view menopausal/older women?  As a man, not a psychoanalyst.


Dr. Barry Simon:   Very free and reborn in a certain way. There is a sense that 
they realize that they survived it and have lots of vitality left in them.  They 
also seem to take less s--t from men.  Any other questions?


Dearest:   Great answer, thanks :)  


SheilaN:   How does one deal with all the negative self talk that begins the 
minute I start a weight loss program? I have been on numerous weight loss programs 
and have lost and gained the same 25 lbs. I have tried positive affirmations with 
little success.


Dearest:   Great question.


Dr. Barry Simon:   First of all begin by choosing a program that is filling enough 
for you.  Little portions lead to big problems.  I cannot tell you the number of 
people who fail trying to limit the same 1000 calories.

Next I would begin to slowly cut back.  Start with either fat or bread.  Now you 
have decreased your inner conversations.   I would also make sure to only try to 
lose weight when you can exercise 6 days a week.  I should say move.

Now about your thinking.  I would begin by talking back to food in a fun, 
provocative way.  Out loud is preferred.  

Next I would get a support group.  What have you tried that's worked for you?  I 
mean eating wise. 


Dearest:   What about the inner conversations of guilt, needing to feel perfect, 
needing to please others and the myriad reasons we use to start a weight loss 
program? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   I want you to begin by creating a long list of the benefits of 
losing weight - that way you're talking about you.  Next, I would come up with 
just as long a list of why not do it.  This list tells you how you use food.

Wanting to be perfect is a hard one.  This is the one area where the lesson is to 
learn to accept your vulnerable under belly.  Perfectionism is a killer in weight 
management.


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. 


MaryO:   I had an endocrine disease that caused me to gain a lot of weight very 
quickly.  Many doctors couldn't see past the fat, to see that I had a serious 
health issue.  Is there any way to get more doctors aware that sometimes a "fat 
person" has other health problems besides the fat? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   That is a great point.  I think that being overweight or fat is 
a health problem and that many doctors ignore it because they'd need to talk to 
you about your life.  Being overweight and losing weight is a major life change.  
Don't think it is anything less than 10 hours a week of work.


MaryO:   Thanks  


Dearest:   Barry, I want to mention something and perhaps you can give me some 
feedback on it.


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sure


Dearest:   I decided to go into therapy to find out why, during the past 3-4 
years, I've had these weight issues. I ended up putting on more weight the more I 
talked about the pain of things I'd experienced in life. Is that a common 
experience? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Yes.



Dearest:   I actually would leave the therapist's office and look for the closest 
Snicker's bar :(


Dr. Barry Simon:   That usually means that something is not being looked at.  In 
my experience it is either you haven't touched the pain or felt understood in some 
key way.  Loneliness or an early sense of being on your own can be a clue of where 
to look for these trigger feelings - that is such an important idea.   Thanks. 


Dearest:   So, it's not uncommon for someone to have that sort of reaction to 
therapy, the antithesis of why she went for the therapy in the first place?


Dr. Barry Simon:   It is important to figure out if you feel comforted in the 
therapy or more agitated. If it is more agitated you want to ask why.  Common, 
yes, and a big clue to more work. 


Dearest:   Definitely more agitated. Thanks, Barry. SYLVRY, go ahead.


SylvryMoon:   How to get the motivation to exercise (gym, or at home) when we get 
up at 5am, work all day, come home and have chores to do, bills to pay, cleaning 
to do, and no time to relax?  How to work in exercise, and how to motivate to do 
it?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   Wouldn't you want a break from that life you just described? I 
would.    I have the same life.  I work out at either end of the day 5:30 or 
10:30.


SylvryMoon:   yes, but bills to pay. . .


Dr. Barry Simon:   My plan would be to focus on what's in it for you to exercise.


Dearest:   Do you ever say anything to "jolt" someone into losing weight? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sure I do jolt people.  I often tell them that they should come 
back when they've gained 25 more pounds.


Dearest:   Would you please "jolt" some of us here tonight?  :)


Dr. Barry Simon:   Why don't you want to do exercise more and organize your food 
intake?  Give me reasons then I'll jolt.


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. LISA JEAN, go ahead, please.


LisaJean:   My question, is what do you feel to be the best diet. High Protein, or 
high complex carb?


Dr. Barry Simon:   First of all I never recommend the high protein Atkins' style.  
He is a very smart doctor but I feel that most people cannot do what he is 
suggesting and that slipping on that program is deadly.


LisaJean:   What about complex carbs?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Complex carbs are fine but you need to limit your starchy 
carbs.


LisaJean:   Like potatoes?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sugar is a key killer that is often overlooked.  That is 
Atkins' gift.  Potatoes sure but bread, cookies, pasta, rice.  Any other ethnic 
foods I can attack?


Dearest:   Not sushi


Dr. Barry Simon:   No way! I had it for dinner.


Dearest:   Good :)


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sashimi


Dearest:   Not middle eastern


Dr. Barry Simon:   Actually, middle eastern is high fat high carb but I do like 
it.  That is why I avoid it.  Avoidance is critical in weight management.  Avoid 
the foods that put you at risk.  A man or woman 'needs to know their limitations'.


Dearest:   Rather than them coming out with so many diets every year because we 
can all really lose weight, why don't they do more research on how to keep the 
weight off? So many people gain all the weight back they've worked so hard to 
lose.


Dr. Barry Simon:   My favorite program for the naive dieter is Weight Watchers.  
Most of my group members are on it.  I feel it teaches portion control.  That's a 
huge lesson.  If you have 50 plus pounds to lose you'll need more assistance.


Dearest:   But doesn't WW allow lots of sweets? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Sure they do but you quickly learn that you use up all of your 
points that really hurts after a few days.  It is designed to be low-fat. low-
starchy carb.  That is hidden inside the points.  I like that you can slip up and 
still continue for the day.  I'll start tomorrow is a terrible thinking style.


Dearest:   Do you do any of these weight loss groups online?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Not yet


Dearest:   Can we talk about the possibility of doing them? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   I am starting in January at Mindfulliving.com.  Here might be 
good as well. 


Dearest:   Sounds great :)  Thanks.. JUDI, go ahead, please.


Judi:   Body Image: I've gone from a size 16 to a size 6. Everybody says I look 
great but I'm still viewing myself as a "fat person" How do I overcome this image? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   How do you feel when you look in a mirror and what do you say 
to yourself or see?


Judi:   lumpy


Dr. Barry Simon:   Begin by spending time looking at your lumpy and breath and smile.


Judi:   And I say I look good clothed but not naked.


Dr. Barry Simon:   Many people are needing to start clothed then partly undressed 
and work up to naked.  It is critical to look at yourself with nice, warm music in 
the background and do it for 5 to 10 minutes.  That way your anxious feeling can 
pass and you will begin to simply see you.


Judi:   That's all


Lak824:   How do you feel about "The Zone" diet?  It's not as strict as Atkins.  
Also, doesn't WW offer too many carbs? I know carbs are my problem.


Dr. Barry Simon:   More information would fill the rest of the evening but I am 
game.  Judi wants more information about body image - can we go on about it ?


Dearest:   It's up to you, Barry :)  It's your time. We'd love to listen all night :)


Dr. Barry Simon:   I love The Zone.
Body image is about acceptance of what is.  You are lumpy but 
you are healthy and probably have lots of parts that are more attractive and 
healthier.  I'd take a deeper look.  Next, I would resistance training 
to feel stronger and more powerful.  That can help turn lumpy into dangerous and 
potent.  I would take the time to wear tighter clothing to get used to who you 
are.


Dearest:   Barry, isn't it possible that when one accepts the fact that s/he's not 
being successful losing weight and the mind-set becomes one of, "Okay, I'll live 
with this" .. that something else is going on? That something hasn't been resolved 
and accepting it is the easy way out? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   First I want that person to be sure she isn't gaining weight.  
Many people who aren't successful first need to plateau.  The next issue is that 
thinking you wont be successful is the problem.  That kind of thinking will give 
you an out every time.  I knew I wouldn't .... get up to exercise, have a light 
breakfast ... I knew I couldn't succeed, just watch me prove it.


Dearest:   Inner conversations?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Focus instead on being successful at one meal a day.  Prove 
that you can be on track 6 out of 7 breakfasts, for example.  No more than that.  
Then move onto lunch but not too fast.  You want to build success in your mind. 


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. You're the best!


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks


SylvryMoon:   Dr. Simon, with all due respect, I don't think that breakfast and 
lunch are our problems.  It's that "eating because we are angry, lonely, tired, 
depressed" is the problem.  How do we deal with that?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   OK.  No disrespect taken. You do seem a bit angry.  Why are you 
so angry and tired and depressed? You need to address that in a serious way.  I 
spent 8 years on a couch working it out.  No quick fix.


SylvryMoon:   LOL Dearest, "Slyvry".  Not angry, Dr. Simon, just depressed.


Dearest:   Darn, I did it again?


SylvryMoon:   LOL


Dearest:   Sylvry. Sheesh.  I always call her Slyvry.


Dr. Barry Simon:   I am caught in one of my groups - everyone has an inside joke and I am left out.


Dearest:   Awwwwww..


Dr. Barry Simon:   I know, I know


Dearest:   You want to see a therapist? :)


SylvryMoon:   You're "in with me", Dr. S.


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks 


Dearest:   Barry, have you ever had a weight issue yourself?  And I don't mean 
five pounds.


Dr. Barry Simon:   I have kept off 25 pounds for about 10 years now.


Dearest:   How did you lose them?  (I think I found them)


Dr. Barry Simon:   That's cute... I started by dealing with anxiety and stress and 
began a regular exercise program.  My father had a heart attack and that woke me 
up to my genetic risk.  Therapy helped me stop.  Looking around for someone else 
to solve my two problems - my eating problem and my feeling that I wasn't good 
enough.


Dearest:   Sorry about your father.


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks


Dearest:   Wasn't good enough? How so?


Dr. Barry Simon:   I would imagine whatever I did wasn't good enough and if 
something went wrong it was my fault or my job to fix it.  You can see how that be 
a bit of a problem as a psychoanalyst.


Dearest:   Boy, that kind of thinking is probably very common among many of us 
here in this room. Does anyone agree?


MaryO:   absolutely!
HSpec:   YES
Hippieheron:   yes
judi:   that's me!!!!
wildflowers:   yes
Irene:   that would be me :)
SylvryMoon:   !
Athena:   and me


Dearest:   Barry, we carry so much *stuff* from our childhood.  Even though we get 
older, we still carry it around all the time.


Dr. Barry Simon:   Well, I feel right at home.  Part of us gets older and the 
other part is still back there working it out.


Dearest:   Great, Barry.
Barry, thanks for joining us once again for an enlightening and stimulating chat into the 
area of weight issues. I frequently refer to "Break The Weight Loss Barrier" and 
highly recommend it to anyone who wants more than just to diet, but to understand 
the thought processes that go into weight problems. 


Dr. Barry Simon:  I'll keep in touch.  Thanks for having me.


Read Dr. Barry Simon's first transcript
Read Dr. Barry Simon's second transcript



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Dearest
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