(Dr. Barry Simon's Second Visit To Power Surge)

Dearest:   I'd like to introduce my guest tonight :)  In his book, 
"Break The Weight-Loss Barrier,"  DR. BARRY SIMON teaches us 
to apply strategies in coping with cravings and to a common sense approach 
to a personalized weight-loss plan.

Dr. Barry Simon explains why diets fail and presents his technique on gaining mastery over 
automatic self-defeating internal conversations. Dr. Simon is a psychiatrist and a 
psychoanalyst trained at Columbia University and at the University of Toronto, where he 
is an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry.  Dr. Simon is on the staff of the Clarke Institute 
of Psychiatry in Toronto. He specializes in the treatment of obesity, and is Treatment 
Director at The Center for Heart and Metabolic Studies in Toronto. 

Dr. Simon lectures internationally on the implementation of weight management and wellness 
strategies and has appeared on numerous radio and television shows.

Welcome back to Power Surge, Dr. Simon :) What exactly are self-defeating internal conversations 
and how do they impact eating disorders?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks, I'm looking forward to an interesting evening! I like the way 
you get right into it. Inner conversations are those inner dialogues we have when we're 
about to eat.  Those inner dialogues determine what we do and are the source of emotional 
eating.  That is what I deal with in my practice each day. 


Dearest:   Can you give us an example of a common internal conversation one would 
have before eating a dish of ice cream?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   We might say to ourselves I've been good all day and I deserve this little 
treat.  That inner dialogue is triggered by our difficulty with sitting with our desires. 
We find accepting our inner conversations hard to do so we eat to get rid of them.  What 
I try to do is create effective strategies to accept and work with them.


Dearest:   Barry, you talk in your book about "living in the moment" and spending too much 
time thinking about where you *were* or *should be* rather than where you are. You continue 
to say, "Nothing makes you more anxious than trying to be someone you're not." Can you please 
elaborate on this mind-set, especially with regard to weight issues?  Thank you. 


Dr. Barry Simon:   People make promises to follow diets that they could never keep and this 
creates a great deal of anxiety and worry. Most people spent much of their lives trying to be 
something that they are not. Most psychotherapy and eastern thought is about living with 
who we are; as complicated as that might be. In terms of weight management that means 
living with your desires and not planning how you will make up for yesterdays starting tomorrow.  
That leaves today out of the formula.


Dearest:   Well, what if we're trying to be someone we're not by being thin.  Maybe we're 
all not meant to be thin. Maybe we're causing ourselves so much more anxiety by always trying 
to be thin. Your thoughts?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   I tell people that ideal weight is a dangerous concept. What is your best 
possible weight is what is important. Most medical research shows that losing 5-10% of your 
weight at any weight helps prevent disease ideal weights are making many women suffer from 
eating disorders.


Dearest:   Barry, has the definition of obesity changed in the last few years? So many people 
seem to be so overweight. 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Obesity is epidemic.  The definition hasn't changed.  35% of Americans 
are obese. That is scary when you think of the health risk.  Not to mention the commentary 
on our lifestyle.


Dearest:   Thank you, Barry. Lhartman, please go ahead.


Lhartman1:   What about menopause and depression?


Dr. Barry Simon:   As a psychiatrist, I see a lot of women suffering from depression for the 
first time during the pre-menopausal time.  That seems to be a time where it is often ignored.  
The depression seems to clear after a couple of years but it can be quite rough.  Many of 
the women in my group put on weight when they are depressed during this time.


Dearest:   And isn't the opposite true - that many women during menopause put on weight and 
then become depressed because of the weight gain? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   A recent study showed that women get depressed when they put on weight.  
That men actually get less depressed when they put on weight. Go figure.


EBeee:   I lost 50 lbs in the last year. I am only 42 and starting menopause. I am supposed 
to start estrogen next month. Do you think the rapid weight loss brought on the menopause 
early?


Dr. Barry Simon:   That's great. I can't comment on that but I haven't seen it.  The great 
part is the weight loss by the way.  How did you lose 50 pounds?


EBeee:   Weight Watchers


Dr. Barry Simon:   Great work.  How are you keeping it off?


EBeee:   I have kept if off for almost 6 months - I have changed my eating habits.


Dearest:   It has, however, been proven that large or rapid weight loss or gain can affect 
our menstrual cycle and hormone levels. 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks, Dearest, for the medical input. I knew I could count on you.


TATISAK:   What about comfort eating....eating when not hungry....and heading for comfort 
foods? Unfortunately my foods are all high carbo...which I should avoid and now do not have 
anything left to eat...help.


Dr. Barry Simon:   75% of lapses are for emotional reasons.  Anther thing you could do is 
eat soya nuts. That is a great food at any time in your life.  I don't mean a lot of them, 
just 30 gm.  That will really take the edge off and give you some really valuable phytochemicals.  
I use soya nuts as opposed to pretzels because I am able to stop eating after only a few.


Dearest:   Barry, someone wrote to me saying,  "I don't know what makes me hold onto this 
weight. Should I see a therapist or a nutritionist?" I suggested she understand first why 
she was having weight issues before she started another weight-loss program. What would you 
suggest to this person and isn't this why so many diets fail?


Dr. Barry Simon:   I ask people to figure out when they are eating for not 'hunger' reasons.  
If you don't do that you'll eventually fail in the end.  To do that you need to keep a chart 
with food---time of day---mood. After a week you can then check out what your triggers are 
in your week and the times.


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. Mary, go ahead. 


PianoMary:   This is very similar to the last question, but here goes. How can we tell the 
difference between physical and emotional hunger and how can we deal effectively with the 
emotional hunger?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   That chart really helps you get started.  The next thing to keep in mind 
is that if you're hungry in your mouth or your head or chest it is probably not physical 
hunger, so getting to know location is important and the emotion.  If you don't know the 
difference then you really need to get back to that basic chart,



Dearest:   Are we to assume we only feel physical hunger in our stomach? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Not only your stomach but when your chest is tight it's probably not physical.  
What I tell people is that by keeping a chart for two weeks you will discover your own body 
system.  I have no quick location device or else I'd be doing late night info-mercial.  I believe 
you need to build a healthy relationship to yourself outside of the kitchen, Every person 
in my group does a meditative practice each day and it makes a difference.  They next make 
peace with their body from a calmer space through gentle self talk and affirmations.  Affirmations 
work best when practiced from a calm space and they work well with inner conversation work,


JACKIESTEP:   I'm sorry. I got ahead of myself.  I began menopause 2 years ago and my appetite 
is out of control.  Why and how can I effectively regain control?  Please forgive my rush, 
I'm excited about an answer. 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Exercise is critical and so is a meditative practice. Is this your only 
support system? In terms of food I would recommend that you stay with the lower fat protein.  
No amount of carbs will satisfy that feeling so don't chase it. 


CallahanMD:   Do HRT meds/cholesterol medications affect weight gain after menopause?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   That's a good question. You'll need to check out your specific cholesterol 
drugs but HRT certainly lead to some weight gain in some women.  What you want to do is create 
a lifestyle that best suits what you've got on your plate.  Pun intended.



LORACURA:   You mentioned depression for women who gain weight but not for men who do the 
same. Could that be caused by society making women feel that they must be pencil thin? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Certainly expectations that are hard to live up to create depression and 
anxiety. Society has created unreasonable weights for all. Especially women. Besides that there 
might be some more complicated hormonal shift that occurs with extra fat cells. It is a great 
question.


LORACURA:   Why do we accept extra weight in men but not women? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Men enjoy having a little pot belly. They seem to have a place to rest 
their hands.  Woman need to represent some physical ideal as a trophy for society. 


Dearest:   A strange imbalance when the majority of these overweight men want perfect women :)  
But, Barry, you see so many overweight women today on TV, in film, in business. Many of them 
look great, dress well and seem emotionally centered and are accepted as they are. Isn't 
acceptance of overweight people becoming more prevalent?  Or, I should say larger people.


Dr. Barry Simon:   I have two thoughts. On the one hand I don't want to accept medically 
overweight in either gender.  That will simply increase needless disease.  On the other hand 
I don't want to set up unreasonable expectations.  Yes, there is greater acceptance of overweight 
women but I am most concerned with those who are medically at risk. This number is in the 
millions and millions!  Sorry to put a downer on the conversation. 


Dearest:   Ok, I understand.  Not a downer at all. A reality check.  LVW, please go ahead.


LVW2004:   How much does our metabolism slow down after menopause and what can we do about it? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   It slows down from 40 on in a big way.  You really need to do both resistance 
training and walking to keep it going. 


Dearest:   Remember that Dr. Simon is a Psychiatrist and not here to answer specific medical 
questions about menopause :)


Dr. Barry Simon:   I knew they were getting tougher and tougher. How about some emotional 
eating-related questions?


PianoMary:   You mentioned soya nuts earlier, but aren't they very high in fat?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   Back to nutrition. They are but if you had those 30 gm you'd be having 
160 cal.  How many snacks do you have that are only that small amount. Anyone talk to themselves 
in front of the refrigerator -- lets talk.


Dearest:   If I might add, it's a healthy fat. Just as if you eat salmon, which is high in fat, 
but high in the Omega-3 oils, which are good for you.



RockyFW:   Sorry.. not an emotional eating ? I'm defiant towards exercise. My intentions 
are good, follow through bad. I like the chart regarding eating. What would help change 
motivation for exercise? 


Dearest:   Good question.


Dr. Barry Simon:   First, you need to stop calling it exercise.  I am talking about movement. 
In my neighborhood there are small groups of women walking every morning before the sun comes 
up. That is what I'm talking about- it actually looks fun.  What exercise do you do Rocky?


RockyFW:   Exercise bike, hand weights  


Dr. Barry Simon:   That is really boring. Besides, it is a very hard way to lose weight. 
Can you get outside If you find yourself defiant why do you do that to yourself?  That's 
a real shrink question. 


RockyFW:   lol


Dr. Barry Simon:   what is lol?


RockyFW:   Laughing Out Loud (at shrink remark)


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks 


Dearest:   Barry, where is your practice located? A woman wrote me asking where she could 
find a therapist who specialized in weight issues. 
 

Dr. Barry Simon:   In Toronto Canada. Those women are walking in the real cold weather. 


Dearest:   Thanks, Barry. Callahan, go ahead.


CallahanMD:   Is the meditation done in groups or alone?  If groups, how does one start or 
join one?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   That's the spirit. Most health food stores have signs up for introductory 
courses.  Another way to find them is to contact Dr. Kabat-Zinn's web site and see where people 
are teaching his method. He's great! I personally do Qigong and tai chi. 


Dearest:  He's one of my favorites, Barry. I've recommended his books and tapes for years. 


CallahanMD:   What's the site address?  


Dearest:   I don't know, but I've recommended his books and tapes, Full Catastrophe Living:  
Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness" and a set of
four tapes,  Mindfulness meditation: Cultivating the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind"



Dr. Barry Simon:   Just get out there and do something that centers you on a regular basis.  
Those tapes are great. He teaches a huge amount and there is no religious bent to his work.


Dearest:   He's wonderful!


Dr. Barry Simon:   He is simply trying to de-stress and enlighten people. 


CallahanMD:   Will take a look.  Thanks 


Dearest:   However, FIRST, I recommend everyone reading "Break The Weight Loss Barrier" :).  
Jackie, go ahead.


JACKIESTEP:   You asked me earlier about support groups.  Would therapy/support group and/or 
your chart help me to begin regaining appetite control over emotional/depression/menopause
eating?


Dr. Barry Simon:   I'd really encourage speaking to your doctor or health professional with a 
list like that.. 


JACKIESTEP:   Thank you


Dr. Barry Simon:   A support group is a great way to get going though I find my groups support 
each other and I provide the hosting. I do convey a great deal of knowledge but it is planted 
in the soil of support and caring.


Dearest:   Barry, would you recommend anyone having weight problems and yo-yo'ing to seek 
therapy before starting another diet? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   That's a good question, Let me try to give you a system of assessment.  
If you have been on four or five diets and failed you need some outside guidance to get back 
some sanity.  If you are suffering from a pain condition, depression, anxiety that is significant, 
you will not succeed on most weight management plans without dealing with the depression 
first.  If you have a sleep disorder- get it assessed at the next level- the emotional level.  
I would say that if you find yourself eating late at night or that you find moods trigger 
eating on a regular basis - talk to someone.  I cannot tell you the number of people I've 
treated with therapy and never mentioned food and they have lost 40-50 pounds.  The secret 
is to deal with what's eating you. 


Dearest:   Wonderful turn of words - what's eating you.  Thanks, Barry :)  Mary, go ahead.


PianoMary:   OK, about emotional eating...does eating do something to us chemically to make 
us feel better in some way?  If so, how can we make this good feeling last longer without 
eating more? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Carbs release serotonin that calms you.  That's the same stuff as you 
find in antidepressants.  It is also the stuff that gets released with meditation.  I know 
I keep coming back to it but it has become central to my management of weight.  That's coming 
from a psychoanalyst.  I am not suggesting you go on antidepressants.  I am suggesting that 
you need to find time to sit and let your body heal you. 


Dearest:   Excellent answer, Barry.  Callahan, go ahead.


CallahanMD:   Do you recommend any group lists or other way to get support group info?  


Dr. Barry Simon:   That's a good question. I really like the Diet Free solution groups. I am 
about to launch an support group system in Canada.  Sorry


LVW2004:   What are your feelings on hypnotizing someone for weight lost? 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Hypnosis can be helpful to discover some unacknowledged triggers to eating 
but as a treatment it is not been that effective.  Any other related question to the hypnosis? 


Dearest:   Guess not, Barry :)


Dr. Barry Simon:   Decide why you want to lose weight. Write out a list, tell your friends.



CallahanMD:   What kind of groups are available in US?  Are they in your book?  Will check 
that out too.  Thanks.  


Dr. Barry Simon:   About the groups... I like the Diet Free solution. It is not in my book.  
They have many groups in the US and the group was developed by Laurel Mellin.


Dearest:   Barry, thanks SO much for a wonderfully informative and stimulating chat. You've 
certainly given us a great deal to think about.  I strongly recommend Dr. Barry Simon's book, 
"BREAK THE WEIGHT LOSS BARRIER," 


Dr. Barry Simon:   Thanks for having me. I really love the energy in this room. 


Dearest:   Thank you, Barry! Your energy was felt greatly here :)  
Barry, do come back and join us again soon, yes?


Dr. Barry Simon:   I'd love too and I hope it wont be so long this time!

Dearest:   We'll schedule a date, Barry. Thanks for all the great information!

Dr. Barry Simon:   Thank you, Dearest, for having me! This place is an inspiration for web living.


Dearest:   Thank you, Barry :)  I try :)


LCarr88402:   Would cognitive therapy work for weight loss as well as depression?


Dr. Barry Simon:   Cognitive therapy is a critical component of healthy eating.  
It needs to be combined with meditation and body release techniques that's my approach.



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