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Gail Sheehy |
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Dearest: My special guest tonight in Power Surge is the international best selling author . . . G A I L S H E E H Y Gail is best known for her landmark work, , "Passages." Published in 1976, "Passages" was named by the Library of Congress one of the most influential books of our time. It remained on the New York Times bestseller list for 3 years and was published in 28 languages. Ms. Sheehy has been tracking the stages of adult development for the last twenty years. Her "Passages" books are almost a genre of their own :) In her "The Silent Passage:Menopause," of special interest to us Surgettes, Gail Sheehy opened a national discussion of the previously taboo subject of menopause and de-mystified the medical and psychological issues of menopause, placing this passage in the context of the life cycle as "the gateway to a Second Adulthood." Gotta love that woman :) Her most recent bestseller, "New Passages" maps your life across time, seven years in preparation, exposing a revolution in the adult life cycle. She traces radical changes in the earlier stages and discovers and maps out the new frontier for both men and women -- a "second adulthood" in the middle years. As a literary journalist, Gail Sheehy was one of the original contributors to New York magazine. A contributing editor of Vanity Fair since 1986, she has established a new genre of political writing. Her in-depth character portraits of national and world leaders won her the 1991 Washington Journalism Review Award for Best Magazine Writer in America. Clearly, Gail Sheehy's list of accomplishments goes on ad infinitum :) ... but if I know you all, I know you're all anxious to say hello and ask your many questions! It is with great pleasure that I welcome you to Power Surge and America Online, Gail :) Gail Sheehy: It's a thrill to be here. Dearest: Postrain, you have the first question. Postrain: Your books have had a profound effect on my life and many others. How do you stay on top of it? Gail Sheehy: It's writing them that's hard -- this is the easy part. Sage: How did you get involved in this field of research, Gail? I remember reading your first book years ago. Gail Sheehy: I was writing a book about ages and stages of couples when I was involved in a life and death incident in Northern Ireland -- at age 35. But when I came home I realized my reactions were similar others in early midlife -- feeling time running out -- hurry up feeling -- first fears of mortality and that got me started researching and interviewing people re life stages. SuHarris 1: Do you believe in taking hormones during menopause? Gail Sheehy: No one answer -- meno is as individual as a thumbprint. But I will say that recent studies are convincing on the long-term impact on death from all causes. Women who take estrogen replacement for over 17 yrs. were found to have 46 percent lower death rate from all causes than women of comparable age (mean 77) who never took hormone replacement therapy. POjai2: I have been taking Estratest for 4 wks now. I was told it may help with the old sex drive. So far no good... any ideas? Gail Sheehy: POjai2: small amounts of testosterone are now commonly added to the HRT regimen and usually revive flagging sex drive -- Watch out younger men! Nancy2Nyc: How is "New Passages" different from "Silent Passages" Gail Sheehy: To Nancy2NYC: New Passages is a description of a revolution in the adult life cycle. Nancy2Nyc: How is "New Passages" different from "Silent Passage?" Gail Sheehy: It's about all the stages of adulthood for men and women...but concentrates on the New Middle -- 45 to 65 the most mystifying and potential satisfying stage of life today. Dearest: Gail, you speak so confidently about this Second Adulthood, but what about those of us who feel somewhat insecure about aging? Gail Sheehy: To Dearest: We are ALL insecure about aging. Best idea -- make friends with some zesty women in 50s and 60s. You'll be inspired by all their creativity & confidence - and it will make you look forward to the time when you can direct your own destiny -- and have so much more time to do the things you love. Dearest: Thank you for that wonderful answer, Gail. CAJHART, go ahead, please :) CAJHART: Dr says must take provera if taking estrogen- no provera, no estrogen? Is this normal? Any alternatives? Gail Sheehy: To CAJHART: If you have a uterus, you need to protect it with progesterone, but you don't have to be limited to that nasty provera (although it doesn't react badly for most women if they use the continuous regimen -- 2 mg. a day every day, instead of the whammy of 10 mg for 10 days). Much more popular now is natural micronized progesterone. Micronized means tiny particles -- it's the only way the body can absorb the natural hormone. Dearest: Thanks, Gail. Klove, go ahead, please :) Klove543: Approximately how long is menopause, from start to finish? And is it a life time of HRT? Gail Sheehy: Again, it's as variable as a thumbprint -- ranges from a year to ten years of symptoms -- but that symptomatic period is really perimenopause" -- the lead up to the end of periods. And perimenopause usually lasts today about 4 yrs. Cle1: Gail, why are you being snubbed by the psychology field? Is it because of your success? Gail Sheehy: I don't feel snubbed. I often make lectures and always ask that some local gynecologists join me to answer questions from audience... because I want the community to have some hip informed empathic docs ready to treat them after I finish my one-night stand. Rewhfuy378: I am a DES daughter have had 3 children am now 44. What do you know about DES Meno? Gail Sheehy: Sorry, nothing. MMccar8355: Do you suggest some sort of celebration of the "14th moon" next stage and if so how? Gail Sheehy: Yes. I like to suggest gathering women of 50ish the smartest, most unusual women in your community and holding a WIT group -- Wisewomen In Training. Softie3: Have you found that a couples "Passages" have changed since you first wrote that book? Is it different in the tech age? Gail Sheehy: To Softie3: Yes. The main thing that's changed is the ages when we go through the passages. 50 is now what 40 used to be. 60 is what 50 used to be. And healthy educated people aren't feeling middle-aged until they're into their 60s. "Old" used to be 65 -- now it may not correctly define a woman until she's 80 plus.- Remember, a healthy woman who reaches age 50 today and remains free of cancer and heart disease] can expect to see her 92nd birthday! Linda Lou5: I'm 46 peri-meno have 2 young kids - will have to care for Mom soon. I feel out of synch. Ideas? Gail Sheehy: To LInda Lou5: You are right where you should expect to be. Sandwich time. You need help -- husband? Linda Lou5: No husband Gail Sheehy: If not, spend whatever you can to get careers to spell you especially because you may have perimenopause symptoms to deal with, too, and you CANNOT let your own health suffer. Need to protect your energies. Dearest: You can obtain your own copy of Gail Sheehy's wonderful book about ... "The Silent Passage : Menopause Dearest: Gail, wonderful answers! CurtinCawl: You recommend acupuncture in your book. Have you ever tried it yourself? Gail Sheehy: CurtinCAwl: Yes. I found if very helpful for relief of hot Flashes and that jumpy, overstressed sensation that comes from depleted hormones, early in perimeno. LSorrent: Sometimes when I'm sitting quietly I have what I can only describe as a creepy feeling come over me not a flash but creepy is that what you mean by jumpy--is that normal? Gail Sheehy: To LSorrent: Normal. All sorts of variations on this symptom are normal, caused by vaso-dilating blood vessels when your brain is not sending through the pituitary the right signals for temperature regulation. Some people get migraines for the first time. Others feel cold and clammy -- it's all temporary, though. RoMaGraves: 'To use HRT or not to use HRT'--I've noticed a distressing moral tone - kinda like "natural" childbirth was. Have you noticed this? Gail Sheehy: To RoMa: Yes. There's a certain feminist claque that says taking HRT is for sissies and un-feminists. They prefer embracing the Crone model. But it's the bossy, imperious model that our mothers or great-grandmothers were limited to, if they wanted to remain center of attention. I think the decision to take HRT is as personal as who one sleeps with. Forget about the moralists. SuHarris 1: Gail, what are the symptoms of perimenopause? My friend almost passed out the other day, she's 46, and she was in bed all day and part of the next before she could go back to work. So you say this is temporary, but how does one go one with day to day life? Her Dr. said she has perimeno. Gail Sheehy: To SuHarris: First thing to know -- this is not going to last forever. It's like a long bout with the flu. And it comes and goes. It may be overwhelming at the start - before you begin understanding the symptoms and experimenting with herbs, acupuncture, rest periods, etc. and/or HRT to deal with the symptoms. The most important thing you can do to help yourself through that early, scary phase is to get as much sleep as possible. Interrupted sleep is very common -- night sweats robs many women of that good REM sleep that refreshes the brain - so they suffer the symptoms of sleep-deprivation on top of everything else. Naps are a privilege you can demand during early menopause. BLewis6882: Hi, Gail. Wisdom for me in mid-40's going back to college? Surrounded by generation X, but I'm really a baby boomer!!! Gail Sheehy: To BLewis: One million women over 40 are Enrolled in college in US today. You're joining a great club! Nancy2Nyc: Do you enjoy writing? Are you working on another book now? Gail Sheehy: To Nancy@Nyc: Love writing. Working right now on a TV special based on New Passages -- will air on ABC Aug 26. Klove543: Are there any other reasons for the hot flashes, HRT 3 yrs now... I want to be cold again Gail Sheehy: To Klove: Have you tried Menopautonic? Herbal stuff, you can take as much as you want. Or go to a Chinese medicine specialist and have a brew customized for you. Stay cool! Gail Sheehy: Rumslav: I wrote about a woman of 65 who Started a rock band with a great name -- Guns 'n Geezers. She's loving jamming with a bunch of Generation Xer's -- so keep up your band. Ms Maria B: I'm 49, facing hysterectomy where oopherectomy is recommended but final decision mine. Advice on impact? Gail Sheehy: Consult more than one, maybe even three, doctors. So many unnecessary hysterectomies are performed. Run through all the questions I tried to lay out in "Silent Passage" with your doctors. Then decide. Barbi7757: Thank you, my question has been answered. I would like to say I think this session is great! LIFE143: I have high blood pressure and my Dr will not put me on hrt. What should I do? Gail Sheehy: I can't second guess your doctor, but I would get a 2nd opinion. Estrogen is a great vaso-dilator, and protects against heart attacks and stroke, so I haven't heard that high blood pressure is a contraindication for HRT. BFahs2: Are we having worse meno's than our moms? Do you think all the BC pills we took affect our meno? Gail Sheehy: To BF: No and yes. Our Moms were ignorant about meno - and often junked, sent off to have a "nervous breakdown," etc. But the stress on today's working women - who still often have youngish children while fighting their own kids middlescence is an extra strain. And docs notice women are having symptoms of perimenopause earlier and for longer. We have been monkeying with our hormonal systems for years before meno. My greatest fear is that women who wait till their 40's to try to conceive and then go through multiple fertility treatments will be risking dangerous levels of estrogen before they get into meno and may want HRT. MMccar8355: How would you describe the "Crone" model you mentioned earlier? Gail Sheehy: The positive definition is a wise woman. One who doesn't depend on her looks anymore. But others insist the Crone model means for swearing sex in order to claim the eerie authority is missing of the crone. I think that's nonsense. Dearest: You can obtain your own copy of Gail Sheehy's wonderful book about ... "The Silent Passage : Menopause RbR272: Am 46, heavy periods menopause sym first cyclic premarin, progesterone, now continuous. Is this normal? Gail Sheehy: To RbR2: Not sure I understand your question. Continuous regimen is normal to deal with heavy flow in perimenopause. Is it working for you? Softie3: Surgettes have asked my questions. So here's a comment: Love your books. Looking forward to next one :) Gail Sheehy: Thank you. MHarris413: Age 62, HRT, great job, feel great, bad bad sandwich... Must I give up my life for theirs? LIFE143: Am experiencing dry mouth with my hot flashes at nite.. any suggestions besides h2o? Thanks! Gail Sheehy: Chew gum -- it stimulates salivary glands. SuHarris 1: What is a sandwich? Gail Sheehy: To SuHarris: I meant Sandwich Generation - meaning you're sandwiched between young children and aging parents -- and expected to carry the ball for all. Rumslav: At 50 am less patient with people who live the lives of the complacent living dead at 50 Postrain: How do you find a doctor to work with you on this? I've been to 3, all into tranquilizers only. Gail Sheehy: To Postrain: don't accept tranquilizers -- it's a copout. Bad. Postrain: But not sure Rumslav's question was answered or MHarris' either. Rumslav: I mean I thought age would make me more laid back? Gail Sheehy: Connect with other women your age group and pool names of docs who are educated - or at least educable. Attend Women's Health Conferences -there are lots being given by hospitals and Women's Health Centers these days. When you do see a doctor, have a list of questions, to begin with: How many women in my age group do you treat? Many ob-gyns are only interested in pregnant women. But some are seeing the lucrative patient population entering meno, and specializing. They're the best. Rumslav: Why are so many people living the lives of the Dead and why am I so impatient with them. Other women my age seem to have given up. Where can I find some live ones (that won't hit on me) Gail Sheehy: I don't see that many people living the lives of the dead. Everybody becomes a little impatient as time grows shorter and more precious. Gail Sheehy: Dearest, I'll take two more questions Dearest: Okay, Gail. Thanks :) Gail Sheehy: I have my precious daughter and about-to-be- son-in-law with me for the weekend. RoMaGraves: What do you think of small dose doxepin to help get REM sleep? Also have heard that may help CFS, too Gail Sheehy: Sorry, dunno about doxepin. Dearest: You can obtain your own copy of Gail Sheehy's wonderful book about ... "The Silent Passage : Menopause Remcee, go ahead, please :) Remcee: Is there a type of estrogen which is better for memory problems than another type? Gail Sheehy: Not that I know of, but all estrogen is Extremely helpful in restoring short term memory lapses due to menopause. Dearest: CurtinCawl, go ahead, please :) Gail, you're doing great for your first online chat! Your answers have been wonderful Gail Sheehy: Dearest, so are your Surgettes! Dearest: Only because they have the knowledge from your exemplary books, Gail ;D CurtinCawl: You use terms-Flaming 50's, Serene 60's & Sage 70's. What do you call the 40's? Gail Sheehy: To CurtinCAwl (appropriate name for last question) Dearest: Haha! How true :) CurtinCawl: :) Gail Sheehy: The Flourishing Forties -- hope you're in them and enjoying. Dearest: Gail, you exceeded even our wildest and most wonderfully anticipated expectations . Gail, on behalf of Power Surge and everyone attending this event,thanks SO much for spending this time answering our questions in your inimitable way. This has been a wonderfully enlightening evening, and we all thank you for joining us tonight. Best of luck in your future literary endeavors, and a Happy Memorial Day to you and yours :) You can obtain your own copy of "The Silent Passage: Menopause" at amazon.com . Gail Sheehy: Dearest, you promised a professional chat and you delivered. This was far beyond my expectations. Thank you. Dearest: Thank you, Gail and goodnight. Night, everyone. See you next time! Disclaimer: Every guest in Power Surge is a highly respected professional whose opinions are his/her own. An appearance in Power Surge does not constitute an endorsement of a guest's views. None of these transcripts may be reprinted or reproduced without the express permission of Power Surge™ and the respective guest. Read other transcripts by returning to the Library. Dearest aka Alice Stamm Power Surge Founder, Facilitator, Host Copyright©1994-2008 by Power Surge. All Rights Reserved.