Dearest:	With a background in psychology and a doctorate in 
Clinical Hypnotherapy, my guest tonight, author, talk show host, women's
health advocate....
	
 "DR JOAN"  IRVINE specializes in sexual enhancement,
self-esteem, menopause transition, and stress management. A former
educator for Masters and Johnson,   Dr. Joan authored "Taking Charge
of Your Changes" and her new book, "Recipes For Hot Sex".

The producer and host of a public access show, "Taking Charge of
Your Changes," about women and mid-life transitions, Dr. Joan
currently hosts a "Talk Real Sex," a public access cable show, with
writing partner.
	
"Dr. Joan" Irvines associated with many women's organizations and
regularly engages in public speaking on issues of importance to women
at midlife.

Welcome to Power Surge, Joan :) I'm curious, is there one "most-asked" 
question about sex by women in menopause?


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Yes, women are concerned it marks the end of their 
sex life.


Dearest:    And what do you reply? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   It's only the start.


Dearest:   It's only the start of a wonderful sex life?  Can 
we have that in writing?  :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Yes, we can be so much more sexual and feel more 
with our selves. 



Dearest:   Thank you, Joan.  NJDonna, go ahead 


NJDonna656:   I have just started the transition - mood swings, 
flashes, nightmares what can I do to relieve some of this? 


Dearest:   Let's focus on women and sexuality tonight (and 
some menopause, too)



"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    First of all, check with your doctor, then read 
some books on how to handle this naturally and look at what 
Dearest has online. 


Dearest:  Thank you, Joan, 	Star, please ask our guest your question.


Star33161:   I had a complete hysterectomy done 2 yrs. ago and 
my vagina is always dry and the doc has increased my estrogen 
and I itch after sex a lot do I need more estrogen or what?


Dearest:    Ladies... tonight's chat doesn't focus on menopause, 
per se.. but women and sexuality.  Thank you.


Dearest:   Joan, do you want to address that question?


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    I can and please add to it.  Are you taking a pill 
or an ointment that you put into your vagina?


Star33161:   Both.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Is it natural based? 


Star33161:   It is estrogen based.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Perhaps you need to add another lubricant like 
Astroglide.


Dearest:    Lynn, hi... go ahead, please.


LynnCSE:     Any update on Viagra for women, will she have to be 
turned on first? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Don't know about that one.


Dearest:    Wundiful, go ahead.


Wundiful:    What are some ways to improve our self esteem?  I 
feel, old, no desire for sex, & undesirable.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    That one I can answer.  First of all, create a new 
vision of yourself as you are now - powerful, with wonderful 
knowledge, knowing your body, knowing what turns you on.  Add 
a lusty sex drive as you once had to this vision, know that 
you have much to offer. And also have hormones checked for you 
might be low on testosterone.
 

Wundiful:  Thank you!


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   You're welcome


Dearest:    Joan, how do you apply hypnotherapy to your work 
with women in menopause?  (I'd like to be hypnotized until it's over) :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    As with Wundiful, I help them create a new image 
of themselves...that we are still sexy and vibrant women...that 
we know our bodies and if something is changing, our doctors 
and partners need to listen to us...that we are valuable and 
knowing...and that what society told us is outdated.


Dearest:	Joan, how can lost pubic hair be made sexy? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Shave it all off!


Dearest:    A buzz cut?


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Some men find this sexy.


Dearest:   Thanks, Joan. Guess we have to learn to laugh at 
everything in order to survive :) JLRoone, go ahead, please :)


J L  Roone:    I use astroglide and vitamin E during intercourse, 
yet semen causes burning in vagina any suggestions? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Use a condom and check with your doctor.  Learn to 
make a condom sexy.
 


Dearest:   Kaaitjie, go ahead.


Kaaitjie:     I am taking Blood Pressure meds and an 
Anti-depressant.  Do you think they could play an important 
part in my loss of libido? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	  YES!!!!


Kaaitjie:    So how do I counteract that?


Dearest:    Tell us how, Joan, please.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:     Check with your doctor and see if there is 
something else she can give you instead.  


Kaaitjie:    Thanks.


Dearest:    Thanks, Joan... give us one of your favorite recipes 
for HOT sex, please.  Thanks :)



"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Since men think about sex every 30 seconds, which 
means at work they think about sex 480 times, I like to have "Fast 
Food for Lunch" on his desk, so he will think about me all the 
time.  This is called anchoring and I want my boyfriend to only 
of me at work - tricky and it works.


Dearest:   If food be the music of love, play on :)  o/~ 
BbMartin, please go ahead :)


Bbtmartin:   If testosterone is prescribed how long does it take 
to start working? 


Dearest:   Remember, this isn't a medical menopause chat, but 
one about women in menopause and sexuality.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	  I don't know the medical answer since it varies.  
When I needed it seemed to work within a few weeks. 


Dearest:   Star, go ahead :)


Star33161:   I am only 37 is astroglide better than KY?  We have 
sex nightly! 18 yrs. of it.


Dearest:	(sigh)

"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Neither one is better, it's what works for you. And 
nightly...we are all jealous!!


Dearest:  Nightly?  I have sex "night-ie"   :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Go girl !


Star33161:   Thanks


Dearest:	Go ahead Gem


GemSoSweet:    I have a hard time orgasming, don't understand. 
When I have sexual intercourse I don't come at all.  I have 
clitoral orgasm, but doesn't last long.  And also what's all 
the fuss about this g spot.  I can't locate it and my partner 
can't. I don't feel like I have very good orgasms. I wonder 
if something is wrong with me. I fake it a lot.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Have you tried adding a vibrator?


GemSoSweet:     Yes.  Just clitoral - not intercourse.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	   And that doesn't work?


GemSoSweet:    Clitoral - not inside. 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    What's wrong with clitoral?

 
GemSoSweet:     That's the only kind I get - from rubbing clitoris - 
then it's so sensitive. And I never get these multiple orgasms. 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Have intercourse while you are on top and use a 
vibrator on your clitoris. An orgasm is an orgasm, who told you that 
you needed to have multiple orgasms or orgasms only through 
intercourse to be good?


GemSoSweet:    Maybe I'm expecting these fire works.


Dearest:     Joan, in all honesty, my best orgasms have been 
clitorally induced. Is there any big difference whether we have 
them clitorally or during intercourse? (of course, lately, I speak 
mostly from memory)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    No, as long as we receive and give pleasure and love.


Dearest:    Good.. thanks :)   Lynne, go ahead.


LynnCSE:    Title - Hot Sex, will you describe what you mean 
by Hot Sex? To Gemso - Shere Hite reports many women do not 
have orgasms with intercourse alone.


Dearest:    Shere Hite wasn't in my bed :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:     Our book "Recipes for Hot Sex" - The book for a 
spicy sex life ... Just Add love" is about rekindling passion, 
pleasuring each other, having fun again, creating a deeper 
connection and more love.  That's what hot sex is to us.
 

Dearest:    Aside from a vibrator, Joan, what sexual toys do 
you recommend to enhance the experience? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:     Of course, my first love is any form of a vibrator - 
I rarely have an orgasm without one.  Then I like to play with 
lingerie, massages and oil, whatever strikes me at the time.  
Eating a strawberry in a sexy way can be a sexy toy.
 

Dearest:    Thank you, Joan... Sculptsc, go ahead.


Sculptsc:       Any turn on ideas when spouse develops cabinet 
disease (all falling into drawers)?
 

"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    I am not knowledgeable about this?


Dearest:    Sculpt, what is cabinet disease?


Sculptsc:     Visual stimulation, suggestions?

 
"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    What is this disease?


Sculptsc:     When everything sags.


Dearest:   Oh, I thought cabinet disease had something to do with 
Clinton. Okay  :)
 

Sculptsc:    LOL


Dearest:    Sculpt, when he sags or when you do?  Please make 
your question clear :)


Sculptsc:    Him.


Dearest:    Ok, so you want to know how to make it spicy when 
he's saggy?  Do you mean unaroused?


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:     Get him on Viagra!! 


Sculptsc:     Sorry, not trying to be obtuse.  Just asking for visual 
stimulation suggestions with aging.


Dearest:     Ok.. Joan, Sculpt wants to know how to arouse her 
husband visually.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    First of all, if it is medical, get him on Viagra.  
Then dress up for him in something sexy and then do a strip for 
him.  Tell him how much you want him and if he can't perform, 
instead of putting pressure on him, self-love yourself to orgasm.


Sculptsc:   No, no he's not much to look at any more.  Love him 
but looking for ideas for me.


Dearest:    Joan, why do men like watching women undress 
themselves, rather than doing it for them? Can it be the voyeur 
thing? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Men are very visual and have learned about sex from 
magazines and movies, so they love to watch.  A fun game to 
strip in front of a mirror and he can pretend he is watching a 
movie.



Dearest:   Thanks, Joan :)  VFees, go ahead.


VFees:    Does Prozac make you not want sex?

 
"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Please check with your doctor; some medicine does 
your desire for sex.


VFees:    I am having a hard time with sex after being put on it.

 
"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Check with your doctor, don't let your sex life go. 


VFees:   Thanks


Dearest:     VFees, anti-depressants are notorious for reducing 
libido.


Dearest:    Sue, your comment?


THRV Sue:    I want to comment that we find adult videos and 
toys to be a major turn on.


Dearest:  Debbie Does Dallas, or Marion does Menopause?  :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Sue, it adds variety and new spices.  It helps one 
play a new role and it can be as if you are having sex with 
someone new and it's your same partner.  It's about adult play 
and having fun.


Dearest:    Lynn, go ahead.
 

LynnCSE:    Would you recommend Viagra for a woman? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Check with your doctor. If you are not interested 
in sex and this is a problem, do something, do anything.  A 
sexual connection with one's partner helps center us and keep 
us connected.


Dearest:	Kaait, go ahead.


Kaaitjie:	If everything if considered OK and healthy with 
consenting adults, then why would not having sex but still 
being wonderful companions not be considered OK?


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   If it works for your relationship that's great. But 
I have found that men show love via sex; therefore, it they can't 
have sex, they feel incomplete and rejected.


Dearest:	Joan, Lynn asked if women should take Viagra.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Lynn, I am not a medical doctor and Viagra is just 
one the many new medicines they have found.  Check with your 
Doctor and try.


Dearest:   Thanks, Joan... VBrando, go ahead :)


VBrando101:	Do you think fake penis's are harmful?  Or 
vibrators for that matter?



"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	    NO!! I think that they enhance and for women like 
me who mainly has clitoral orgasms, a vibrator took me from 
feeling like something wrong with me to a highly sexual women, 
and they do this for many women I know and are my clients.



Dearest:	Joan, why do some women sabotage themselves by 
thinking using vibrators or toys to enhance their sexual 
experience makes them "less than a woman?" 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	    YES!! I believe whatever works and with many they 
need additional stimulation in order to have an orgasm.  A 
vibrator provides that and it takes the pressure off their 
partners.


VBrando101:	Dear?


Dearest:	Thanks, Joan. VB, you had a question for me?


VBrando101:	When I asked the question I didn't mean psychological, 
I meant physical.  I was wondering if they could bruise.


Dearest:	Oh, I wasn't referring to your question, VB. Just 
wondered about this issue. :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    No, it won't bruise you, but we need to learn how 
much stimulation we need.


VBrando101:	OK


Dearest:	Marsha, go ahead.


Marsha4561:	Joan, if orgasms help us relax and calm us why are 
they not talked up more, lot cheaper than drugs sleep better too.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	    Because we were told good girls don't talk about sex, 
and we should not want hot sex... only bad girls want that.


Dearest:	But, Joan, hasn't our generation surpassed those 
taboos? I mean, we ARE the baby boomers :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	     I wish I could say yes, but it's still out there 
even with younger women.


Dearest:	That's surprising, but understandable, I guess. 
Thanks.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	      I'm sorry to have to say that, too.


Dearest:	Sally, please ask our guest, Dr. Joan, your question.


Sally1019:	Does sexual arousal stimulate the production of 
NATURAL estrogen? 


Dearest:	Hmmmm


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	    YES!! I always say: An Orgasm a day keeps the 
medicine away...only kidding.  But research has shown that 
orgasm increase estrogen levels.


Dearest:	Umm.. excuse me, then, I'll be back later. 
		Cinda/Sue, take over.. (just kidding)


Sally1019:	Thank you.


Dearest:	Lynn, go ahead.


LynnCSE:    Do some males resent vibrators cause it seems to 
demean their penis.


Dearest:	Very good question.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Yes, this is true. So we suggest that you start by 
using one as a massager, then move it to your clitoris and play 
with it.  Also start with a small one, so there is no size 
competition.


Dearest:	Joan, do you think the nature of our society and 
women becoming empowered has resulted in their becoming the 
sexual aggressors?  The ones to initiate?



"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   I think that thankfully the changes have allowed us 
to be equals and ask for what we want and to pleasure ourselves 
and our partner without guilt. Men love when a woman wants to 
make love and then tells them how good they were. Men are in 
heaven then.


Dearest:	Thank you, Joan... Bbtmartin, go ahead.


Bbtmartin:	Do older women need more stimulation of the clitoris 
to have an orgasm? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   It's really based on the women. I always needed more.


Dearest:	Joan, do tell everyone the exciting place we can see 
you tomorrow (g).


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    YES!!!!  I will be a guest on Barbara Walter's The 
View on ABC.  I just found out tonight that Barabra will even 
be there!


Dearest:	How wonderful. You'll be talking about your new 
book, yes? 


THRV Sue:	How Exciting!!!!!!


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    I'm so excited because it will be all about our new book 
and relationships! 


Dearest:	Tomorrow morning... July 13, 11 AM (ET).  "The View" 
with Barbara Walters and "Dr. Joan" Irvinervine.  ABC-TV.  Be there or be square.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   ET - it's live at 11AM; PT it is 10 AM - don't know 
the other time zones.  I can't wait to meet all the women! 


Dearest:	Stepmastr, go ahead.  I'll be watching, Joan :)


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Thank you


Stepmastr3:	I am 47 just became irregular in April.  2 periods 
a mo. less than 14 days apart.  Doc says it is abnormal bleeding?  
I say peri meno.



"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    I had the same thing and I worked with my doctor.  
If the bleeding is bothering your sex life, try a new product 
called Instead.  It is like a diaphragm that collects the blood 
flow.  I found I was bleeding so much I couldn't do much, so 
Instead added freedom
 

Dearest:	Thank you, Joan... Kaait, go ahead.


Kaaitjie:	Have you found that many older people are now 
contracting HIV which has been dormant for years?


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Don't know.


Dearest:	VB, go ahead.


VBrando101:	I heard if you self stimulate you get used to doing 
that and would rather...what do you think? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Whatever works for you and your partner and gives 
you both pleasure. If that's what gets you to orgasm, why deny 
yourself that pleasure and the special connecting with your 
partner.


Dearest:	Drccrd, go ahead.


Drccrd0613:	What do you do about vaginal dryness?  I had a 
hysterectomy.  


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   Check with your doctor about special ointments and 
try a lubricant.


Dearest:	Joan, what about the sexual insecurities of single 
women during and post menopause when entering a new relationship? 


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	     Good question!


Dearest:	Sexual insecurities, I mean, as a result of physical 
changes.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   We are concerned that our bodies are not the same 
as when we were younger and they aren't, but if we are having 
sex with someone, he or she thinks we are sexy.  Also, use 
lingerie to expose and cover up. The Dance of the 7 Veils.


Dearest:	Thank you, Joan.. excellent answer :)


Dearest:	Joan,  thank you for spending this time fielding 
our questions tonight. It was very enlightening.

Don't forget to look for Dr. Joan Irvine's book, "Recipes For Hot
Sex" in your local bookstore, or on the Internet at amazon.com.
As a special treat, you can see Dr Joan on Barbara Walters' show,
"The View" tomorrow on ABC-TV (11 AM - ET).

Be sure to visit  Dr. Joan Irvine's Web site after you join me in thanking 
Dr. Joan for visiting with us in Power Surge tonight :)


PianoMary:	{S applause
Stepmastr3:	Thank you sooo much
THRV Sue:	{S applause
Sally1019:	Thank You Dr. Joan.
THRV Cinda:	Thanks Dr. Joan
Wundiful:	Thank you!

"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	Thank you for asking me to be here and sharing 
		with me.

RCHCTH:	Thank you so very much :)
VBrando101:	Thanks Dr Joan!!!!
Bbtmartin:	Thank you Joan.
PTLdiane:	Thanks Joan.
THRV Cinda:	Hi! SMcc Welcome to Power Surge!
Kaaitjie:   	Thank you.

Dearest:	Thank you, Joan... excellent answers. I hope you'll 
		come back very soon!

PTLdiane:	Will watch ya tomorrow
Elsie1049: 	Thank you....
MBrant1004:	Very interesting chat, thanks Dr. Joan.
THRV Sue:	Will set the VCR for tomorrow!

Dearest:	I would love for you to come back frequently as 
part of Power Surge's My Menopause, My Sexual Self series :)

"Dr. Joan" Irvine:   I would be honored.

PTLdiane:	Yeah!:)
THRV Cinda:	Yes, please do Dr. Joan
Sally1019:	Great!
VBrando101:	Yeah!!!
THRV Sue:	Great!
Elsie1049:	very informative
Dearest:	Thank you.. we'll make arrangements. I think this 
is such an important subject.	Do we all agree, ladies?
PianoMary:	Great!
VBrando101:	YES!!!
Marlinluvr:	YES
THRV Sue:	{S yes_yes
Kaaitjie:   	Yes!!!!!
RCHCTH:  	Absolutely
PTLdiane:	Yes
MBrant1004:	Great!!
Sally1019:	YES!
Elsie1049:	        YES
Dearest:	We all need a break from talking about menopause
PTLdiane:	Amen!!!!
PianoMary:	For sure.
Dearest:	AND I'm practicing my Kegels as we type (g)
Kaaitjie:   	What's that ?
PianoMary:	ROFL
Dearest:	This subject, Kaait.
VBrando101:	Lol
Sally1019:	Sometimes you can beat a good horse to death.
LORACURA:	ROFLOLWTIME
Dearest:	Too many horses are suffering already, Sally :(
THRV Sue:	We beat that old horse twice a week.
Kaaitjie:   	Oh menopause,,,,,when do we ever talk about it?
PianoMary:	Night, Dr Joan - thanks again.


"Dr. Joan" Irvine:	Well, I need to get my beauty sleep for tomorrow, as 
		if I will sleep well tonight ... I'm so excited.


Dearest:	Goodnight, Joan.. thanks and GOOD LUCK tomorrow.
Everyone, watch Dr. Joan Irvine on The View tomorrow morning on
Barbara Walters, "The View" on ABC.  What a coup, Joan :)

	
"Dr. Joan" Irvine:    Thanks and Good night.


Dearest:   Nite, everyone. See you next Sunday for another guest
chat (and on Wednesday in our open chats)  :)



Disclaimer:  Every guest in Power Surge is a highly respected professional whose
opinions are his/her own. An appearance in Power Surge does not constitute an 
endorsement of a guest's views.

None of these transcripts may be reprinted or reproduced without 
the express permission of Power Surge™ and the respective guest.

Read other transcripts by returning to the Library.


Dearest
aka Alice Stamm
Power Surge
Founder, Facilitator, Host


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