Dearest:    My guest tonight is Psychotherapist, clinical social worker, Barbara 
Heller. Barbara has a private practice for 20+ years and is a women's health 
educator. Barbara offers wonderful suggestions and daily tips for relaxing the 
body, regrouping thoughts, renewing the spirit, and surviving in her new book, 
"365 Ways To Relax Mind, Body and Soul". 

Welcome to Power Surge, Barbara. As you know, Power Surge focuses on menopause, 
a transition fraught with anxiety, depression and constant emotional highs and 
lows.  When one's hormones are doing battle with one's psyche, how easy is it 
to really achieve relaxation?  


Barbara Heller:   It is a time when relaxing is so important.  Relaxation is an 
acquired skill; one we can learn and I believe we relax in degrees.  It is 
important to learn mini-relaxation techniques to incorporate into busy days.


Dearest:    Thank you, Barbara, and I'm so glad you finally made it :)


Barbara Heller:   Thank you.


Dearest:    Let's go to the audience questions now. Nancy, go ahead, please.


Nancy:   I was wondering what I could do when so called panic attacks occur 
during the night?


Barbara Heller:   Good question. But also important to know what you mean by 
panic attacks. Heart palpitations? Sweats? Nightmares? 


Nancy:   Nightmares


Barbara Heller:   Sorry. Are we talking nightmares? Do you have night terrors?


Nancy:   Well I'm partially awake with them -high anxiety, etc.


Dearest:    Barbara, maybe she's on some medication?


Barbara Heller:   There are lots of things you can try. I often recommend herbs 
-- external or internal use-- depending. For example, I might suggest rubbing a 
few drops of lavender essential oil on your temples or on a warm wet compress 
on your forehead when you feeling anxious.  Also mini-meditations and 
visualizations help some women.


Nancy:   They wake me up it's like a adrenaline rush


Dearest:    Barbara, what about breathing exercises?  Nancy, that's like night 
sweats.


Nancy:   I didn't think of that.


Dearest:    Of course.


Barbara Heller:   Definitely. Long slow diaphragmatic breathing.  Putting hand 
on abdomen and chest and trying to create a slow wave.


Nancy:   I'm willing to try anything at this point that's new.


Barbara Heller:   Also, a great time to put on low level music or relaxation 
tape.


Dearest:    How about if we all try it together now.


Barbara Heller:   Great!


Dearest:    Ok, Barbara, tell us what to do. We will follow your lead :)


Barbara Heller:   Great -- about all trying a breathing exercise together.


Dearest:    Everyone, let's practice relaxing breathing exercises.


Barbara Heller:   If folks want more assistance, in addition to suggestions in 
my book (blush), I recommend the tapes of Dr. Andrew Weil on breathing.

Take a long slow exhale out your mouth with a sigh.


Dearest:    He's wonderful. I have shared his breathing exercises in Power Surge 
many times.

Exhale first?


Barbara Heller:   Yes, let it all out. Extended exhalations are what creates 
ability to inhale fully.


Dearest:    What are your thoughts about using a paper bag for breathing?


Barbara Heller:   I also like to exhale through the mouth, like I am blowing 
out a candle.

The paper bag trick is good if someone is hyperventilating but generally not 
good to learn relaxing technique.  You want something that you can do easily 
anywhere without any objects, just yourself.


Dearest:    Great. Thanks. 


venusrose9:   Hello. We are talking major anxiety attacks.And,high blood 
pressure. We are already meditating, eating lots of vegys, and soy foods.


Barbara Heller:   If this is a question, then of course, as you probably know 
the anxiety needs to be medically evaluated.

Sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things and if they aren't working, 
it is important to find out why.

Sorry, I can't speak about specific antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication, 
out of context. I think it is important as part of full medical/psych 
evaluation.


Dearest:    Thank you, Barbara. Harper, it's your turn.


harper:   I am a therapeutic harpist playing for chemo and hospice patients to 
reduce stress. Do you discuss music in your book or are you aware of any 
studies showing the effects of music therapy for menopause?


Dearest:    What a wonderful question and profession :)


Barbara Heller:   Wow!  You are doing great stuff...


harper:   It's my heartwork and a privilege.


Dearest:    I know the feeling :)


harper:   Working with such dedicated people.


Barbara Heller:   I have a friend locally who is a harpist in the hospice work 
too and music therapy program.  I do mention music in this book and my next one 
about sleep but I don't know of any studies specifically linking menopause and 
music (sounds to me like you should look for some funding). It's a great idea.


harper:   I'll need to get this book!


sally:   can you recommend for neck/shoulder tension from office environment? 
It gets worse yearly


harper:   cancer patients and families have requested I do a CD so am currently 
working on that project.


Barbara Heller:   First, let me just give harper accolades and encouragement. 
Please let me -- and those here at Power Surge-- know when you do a cd.


harper:   Thank you.  I do appreciate that.  "On Wings of a Dove" will be out 
soon.


Barbara Heller:   And now. Sally yes, I do have a number of suggestions. First 
there are the mini-breaks and stretches especially shoulder rolls and another--
which I get funny looks about which I call nose alphabets. Trace the alphabet 
in the air using your nose like an imaginary pencil.  Half inch print letters 
are best. This helps to break up tension by using slow small smooth movements.


sally:   thanks very much Barbara these sound very helpful


Barbara Heller:   Thanks!  Try them and let me know!


Dearest:    Mary, go ahead, please.


MaryO:   Dearest has posted some wonderful articles on breathing which help me 
with my anxiety and she has suggested some great relaxation tapes.  Are there 
any good herbs that help as well?  I'm allergic to lots of scents, like the 
lavender you mentioned earlier.


Barbara Heller:   There are many wonderful sedating herbs including lavender, 
chamomile, lemon balm, passion flower, hops, etc.  Oh and of course, valerian. 
It depends on your allergies and preferences. Some are best used in bath 
products or sleep pillows, others are best used in teas and tinctures.


MaryO:   Thanks :)  


Dearest:    Suze, go ahead


Suze:   Any suggestions to turn off the negative thoughts that keep you from 
sleeping?


Barbara Heller:   Important question. Sometimes you have to experiment. I 
especially recommend visualizations and mini-meditations.  We need to focus on 
something -- either very pleasant -- like a lovely natural scene using all our 
senses or a challenge like counting backwards from 100. What they have in 
common is that they leave little brain space for the worries. It is like 
changing the TV channel!


Suze:   Thanks. i have your book. It's great!



Barbara Heller:   Thanks Suze. What's your favorite tip (I love asking)?



Suze:   Lavender pillow


Barbara Heller:   I am a lavender lover -- although I know many people who 
don't like the scent.  There is a recipe for lavender bath salts in the book. 
Quite easy actually. and I use lavender in sleep pillows. I also like a 
combination of lavender and sandalwood. A few drops of the essential oils in a 
carrier oil like sweet almond oil makes a great massage oil for overall massage 
or for foot or head massage!


Dearest:    Barbara, in your book, what is the purpose of the three questions?  
1) One of the most positive traits is.... 
2) The two things I do best are.. and 
3) i have a talent for ....?  


Barbara Heller:   Because we so often can find things to criticize about 
ourselves,   it is so important to focus on our strengths and our successes.  
Being able to pat ourselves on the back rather than keep on expecting more and 
better results alleviates anxiety.  What do you think?


Dearest:    I agree. Barbara, it seems insomnia, depression and anxiety at 
epidemic levels today. If we're all in such a hurry, how can we possibly enjoy 
the journey? 


Barbara Heller:   As a psychotherapist I know that there is no quick fix, no 
magic bullet or pill but if we keep waiting for large chunks of time (when this 
job is done or the kids grow up, etc.) we keep our anxiety levels high and we 
are always running on adrenaline.  What is important is to incorporate small 
changes into our lives every day. Of course it would be great for all of us to 
take a yoga class and take a long walk and make time for a soothing bath after 
a quiet dinner but most of us cannot, so we have to learn to be able to switch 
activities and perspective and know that there are so mnay different ways to do 
that.


Dearest:    I agree, but as women going through menopause, it's even more 
difficult to relax. I've used self-hypnosis over the years, breathing 
exercises, exercise, but they don't help as much because I feel my body is 
fighting me even while I try to relax. Does this make sense? 


harper:   Our culture dictates the stress level.  Don't you think that illness 
is caused mainly by stress that builds up to an extreme with no release?  If I 
didn't play the harp, I'd NEVER relax.


Barbara Heller:   Yes, it is so frustrating. We have the tools but they are not 
working as well.  It is great to have music or other outlet for all that stress 
and tension and as a way to share the beauty.


harper:   Have you any experience with natural tonics such as noni juice to 
reduce stress?


Barbara Heller:   No, harper, I don't.  I use and know a lot about the basic 
western herbs for stress and relaxation. 


Dearest: You know what's fascinating about aromatherapy?  Different scents
affecting us differently at different times. How does that work?  


Barbara Heller:   There is science to all that!  Our bodies absorb through the 
skin and through the olfactory bulb in the nose.  Science has found that 
various scents, just like different substances that we ingest, create different 
physical reactions.  As you know, some scents energize and others sedate -- and 
it is not all about personal preference. I know cause I have experimented with 
a number of essential oils in recipes and even the ones that I don't like -- 
for example ylang-ylang is a sedative -- it still worked even though I didn't 
like it, and others had good response to it.


Dearest:    I know what you mean. There's a scent that's supposed to be 
"uplifting" <can't recall the name at the moment> and I never find it 
relaxing.


Barbara Heller:   Also sometimes I find commercial blends with seemingly 
contradictory attributes -- and I think that they have added them together 
because they are cheaper scents rather than that they compliment each other.


Dearest:    Thank you. What it is about water that's so relaxing? 

Watching water.. wading in it.. bathing, swimming... floating...


Barbara Heller:   Who knows why -- but water is one of the most soothing 
things, its sound and its feel.  I like the popularity of indoor fountains for 
people who don't have access to natural sources is great.


Dearest:    A friend gave me something called and Envirospa that has wonderful, 
soothing, sounds of nature and aromatherapy. I often use it to fall asleep.


Barbara Heller:   When I was writing 365 ways to relax my editor wanted to make 
sure that there wasn't redundancy and I had to keep advocating for keeping in 
many different versions of how to be with nature, especially with water.  It's 
a natural sedative.

Envirospa? What is it?


Dearest:    Envirospa -- short for environmental spa?  Something to help me 
relax with nature's sounds and scents.


Barbara Heller:   What does it look like? and do? Like a fountain or 
aromatherapy diffuser?


Dearest:    It's made by Homedics. It's small and you can select any of six 
sounds, waterfalls, birds or crickets chirping, ocean waves, etc. You can also 
add aromatherapy to it and get the sounds and scents together.

Like a diffuser with an environmental sound machine built in.


Barbara Heller:   I will look for one.  It sounds interesting and soothing.

For the woman experiencing nighttime anxiety that may be a good thing to have 
by the bed and to turn on when you wake up. To reprogram our response to stress.


Dearest:    That's exactly what I do.


Barbara Heller:   Ahhh...


Dearest:    I have a question.. wonder what you think. How about intimacy for 
relaxation?  Even when there's no partner around.


Barbara Heller:   There's a long story there...

Yes, I think that sexual release is a great stress reliever.  Sometimes sex 
with a partner is relaxing and sometimes stressful -- obviously depending on 
relationship and feeling of obligation.  Many women tell me that they have sex 
sometimes as another thing on their to do list...

I was not "allowed" to put anything in the book about sex...


Dearest:    Not allowed?


Barbara Heller:   Just would take it out of the gift book realm.


Dearest:    I don't understand. Why would it take it out of the gift book realm? 
You weren't going to write anything pornographic.


Barbara Heller:   I know, this was a question for me too. But when an author is 
not self-published, we are not the CEO/primary decision-maker and we 
collaborated to make it the best book in its genre... which meant not 
mentioning sex?!

What can I say?


Dearest:    Oh, go on Regis' show and become a millionaire and buy a publishing 
house? :)


Barbara Heller:   Perhaps we can write 365 ways to relax with sex and other 
indulgences?!


Dearest:    So many rules and regulations.
Sounds like a great title to me!  But, this one is just adorable. I will give 
this as a gift to a number of friends.  Not only is it chock-a-block full of 
great info, but it's adorable.



Barbara Heller:   Yes. But overall I learned a tremendous amount and was given 
a lovely opportunity to basically take nuggets from my 25 years of 
psychotherapy and education and put substance into a light format.

Thank you. I had a lot of fun writing it and really hope that it is helpful to 
people.


Dearest:    I like the idea of "365 Ways To Relax mind body and soul" - one for 
each day of the year :)


Barbara Heller:   Yes, a tip a day. And some people tell me that they like to 
leave it on their nightstand -- or in the bathroom--- and browse through it 
each day.


Dearest:    I find myself doing that, Barbara.

Barbara, I don't want to keep you any later. You had a difficult time tonight, 
technically.  We'll have to do this again, ok?


Barbara Heller:   In the bedroom -- or the bathroom??  Really, I would like to 
hear what your favorite tip(s) is?


Thanks so much. You were really helpful with the technical problems so I didn't 
get as stressed as usual!


I would love to do this again -- perhaps in the spring when 
my second book How To Sleep Soundly Tonight is published!


Dearest:    Sounds like a plan :)


Barbara Heller:   Thank you all.


Dearest:    Thank you, Barbara :)  It was very interesting and you were very 
relaxing :)




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Dearest
aka Alice Stamm
Power Surge
Founder, Facilitator, Host


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