My husband is 51, the last year he has become very crabby! Plus nightsweats, fatigue, he hates his job and people in gentle. I pretty much can't stand to be in the car with him anymore! He complains all the time!
After all I have been through I did not recognize it at first. I'm doing some research on-line today and surprise what I am reading. Anyone else experiencing this or with their husband?

Fatigue, loss of a sense of well being -- 82%
Joint aches and stiffness of hands -- 60%
Hot flashes, sleep disturbances -- 50%
Depression -- 70%
Irritability and anger -- 60%
Reduced libido -- 80%
Reduced potency -- 80%
Premature aging
Changes in hair growth and skin quality

Sounds familiar..... for women at midlife..... because it is the same condition because the relationship between the ovaries, estrogen, the brain, and the pituitary are exactly the same as the relationship between the testis, testosterone, the brain, and the pituitary.

PS: My husband just had a FULL work up with our doctor! The doctor can not find any reason for his symptoms (ironic huh?
I've been sympathy with dealing with him, more then he has been with me!
But guess that comes naturally with women!

Hi Snowmoon56,

A few years ago (age 41) I had some of the emotional symtoms. I did consider it a mid-life crisis of some form. I hated my job, depressed and felt that I was a zombie just earning money (My employer paid me very well). I realized that I was so stressed that I could no longer relate to my kids or wife. The only person that was there for me was my wonderful wife. I became a house husband while my wife persued her career as a math teacher. I never had any hot flashes. Being being able to raise my kids completely change my emotional state. I became optimistic and is now persuing to become a science teacher. I consider being a house husband was then best move I ever did.

Yaz

Snowmoon,

I often wonder if my husband isn't going through "the change". He is only 42, but he does experience symptoms similar to mine. His sleep is irregular, he's irritable, hates his job, he's tired, his hands and joints ache....

Yes...I do think men go through a change but it's not as obvious because they don't menstruate. He even mentioned a time a two..."do you think I'm going through the change?"

Sometimes he's just a bear to live with...nothing makes him happy and every little thing gets on his nerves. I love him none the less and take the good with the bad.

TeeJy

Did any of you ladies ask why the husband is so grumpy/depressed ? If they have job burn out, it may effect their who outlook and physical well being. Once I quit my job and started to raise my children, I feel like a new man. I feel emotionally and physically 15 years younger.

Yaz

My husband got worse and worse, starting around age 55. Before that, he had been prone to occasional black moods when I couldn't reason with him and he'd get mad about some little thing and go on and on about it, completely out of control. The only thing that worked was if I left him alone for a long time (about six or eight hours). Sometimes after this "time out," we could talk about whatever it was. These black moods only happened every six months or so, but after he turned 55, they became more frequent. The worst part was the neighbors hearing us, or if he threw a fit in public. On a couple of occasions, he was out of control in public and they called the police. He doesn't drink, so it had nothing to do with that.

He had two complete knee replacement surgeries, a year apart, starting when he was age 58. After the second surgery, he crashed. He would not get out of bed even after he had recovered from the surgery. I couldn't understand why he was so angry all the time. I thought he'd be happy now that he didn't have knee pain anymore. We were quarreling every night and I started looking up marriage counselors. I began to feel this horrible sadness inside all the time, and it affected me at work. We couldn't talk about anything anymore without fighting. I felt angry all the time, even after we supposedly patched things up. I felt like I was not getting rid of the anger from one fight to the next, so our fighting would start and escalate quickly, since I felt angry already. I used to tell him little anecdotes about my day, but now everything I said caused trouble. I stayed away from him and kept my mouth shut, but this is no way to be married.

He went to the doctor for a check-up on his knee and he started crying in the doctor's office. He told me later that he'd been crying at home all day while I was at work. He's retired and collecting his full pension. I had not known that he was crying at home. Anyhow, the doctor prescribed Lexapro and it has completely turned him around. He's active and happy again, almost better than when we met 20 years ago. He sometimes gets into bad moods (who doesn't?), but they are nowhere near as black and out of control as they were.

I didn't know anything about depression before this happened. No one in my family has ever been depressed, at least not that we know of. Now that I've gone through this with him, I wish I had it all to do again because I'd be a lot wiser.

I'm sure my hub is going through a male version of peri or meno! His sleep is disturbed, hates his job, and talk about grumpy!! He's only 45. But I would trade symptoms with him in a flash. I have tremors, zapping, sleep disturbances, hot flushes, cold flushes, memory fog, memory loss, dizzyness, palpatations,(something he's never had and is scarey) anxiety and that's to name a few I do admit he can be sympathetic most of the time but have been told how hard it's been on him the last 4years. I've said try going through this whether you want to or not and there is no magic pill to help make it easier. When I had anxiety 24/7 he couldn't pick it. One day we were out with his brother for lunch and I felt high anxiety and no matter what I did I couldn't shake it. He said he couldn't tell and I said to him people with anxiety cover it well and plus you have to get on with life. That's the thing you have to keep going even if you feel you are wading through water and fog, your children, grandchildren, work rely on you. They don't realise how hard it can be. Sorry I'll get of my soapbox now

Cheers choco

Last year my wife was officially diagnosed in Menopause. She turns 50 this year. Her sudden increaese in assertiveness made me wonder if something was wrong with me. I ended up getting tested for testosterone levels and found I was severely low. I now have an endocronologist who has me on testosterone gel lotion that I use daily. Made a huge difference in my assertiveness, happiness, etc. Still working on midlife issues, as is my wife, but the gel has been very helpful. It is expensive, even with insurance. I would recommend all men around mid forties to get their levels checked, especially if in stressful situations, such as a menopausal wife, or tough job.

I showed your post to my husband because this is exactly what he is going through. He is 53 and started having nightsweats years ago, as well as being more irritable and annoyed by most people he had to deal with. He quit his high-pressure job and stayed home for a while, until he got bored. He then found another, lower stress and more high-paying position, but again became very irritable. I made him go to the doc, he had a full checkup and various blood tests, and thank God everything came back normal. Things changed again and we moved and now run our own business, but his nightsweats persist, and he is still more irritable than he used to be. But his moods HAVE improved a lot over the past year, so there is hope.

Thanks Tompet, rarely do you heard of men going through menopause. My husband had always been so even temper, I really hate to see him struggle with this. In a way he handles it better then I do, maybe he doesn't feel as bad.

We also need to make a move, where like fish out of water in this area. Next 6 months we will be out of here and I know it will help!

Hi, Im new and this is something very different, but I was suprised to find that there are not that many forums dealing with Andropause..but I was fortunate enough to come across this one..
Anywhoo...Im 36 and my hubby is 39....I have reason to believe that he is experiencing the onset of Andropause...he recently started on Androgel in the last 3 weeks and the turnaround has been tremendous...he has been happier, more energetic and IMO, more 'sexually eager'. The reason Ive been pleased, and him to some degree too, is because he has had a hard time finding the right job and is really taking a hit to having to live up to trying to provide, pay off bills and just basically keep afloat...this kind of thing takes a hit on any man, am I right?
Anyway..when he started to experience some health symptoms a while back...mild heart pain, low drive, mild depression, little weight gain, he decided to get a physical. The numbers came back as his testosterone was like 350 out of a possible 750-800 for a man his age~mind you my husband is physically fit, pretty active (he has to be with 3 children, 2 being TWINS!) and takes pretty good care of himself. Yet when he did his research on this topic of male menopause, he finds that all the symptoms add up and with estensice discussion with his doctor, decided to get on this therapy.
So here we are; 3 weeks into therapy and he seems more 'lifted' hes been on a better protien/low fat diet, hes excercising, weightlifting and, I feel, our sex is better. The problem is his testosterone levels have dropped~! He sought a urologist who thought that the hormone therapy wasnt the exact approach and had him go off it for a week, but when my husband had concerns about that and going back to 'low sex drive' the doc gave him some Cialis and things were fine except that while he would get turned on , he couldnt 'finish' and therefore decided to stay on the Androgel insted, the thing is his levels continue to drop as of yesteray; his latest numbers are 300! Hes really having a hard time getting insurance to foot the bill for the therapy~something about his levels not being 'low enough' to be considered for the plan~which is BS!
I guess my question is....Ijust need an outlet to anyone or everyone who can relate with me...he is taking all this way to personal and now that this whole thing of him finding a job is just doubling the load on him health wise...the thing is unfortunate one was bound to catch up with the other~btw, he is working, its just not for the amount he is used to making, plus to support a family of 5 plus the health plan s*cks..
I would appreciate any and all input! Hope I didnt ramble....looking forward to getting to know you all!

So are any of you men going thru this? if so what are you doing to help? or ladies are
your husbands going thru this and whats helps.

I have recently ordered a natural product hoping it will help, I dont like the stuff that the
doctor prescribe so Im looking for a natural solution.

Regards,
Don

Hi Don,

Yes, my husband only recently discovered he was going through this. He said to me "sometimes I feel I am the one with Peri." I mentioned that there is such a thing as Andropause, and he read up on it on the net, then had tests done which confirmed falling levels of several things. Subsequently, he decided to take a natural product, one being the DHEA, another the Androgel, and also take Vitamin E and Zinc.

When he was with me in hospital the other day, he asked the Doc about this, and the Doc confirmed that men are affected similar to women, but with not as sharp a decline. This did add up with my husband's symptoms. Since the meds, my DH has been still moody [but who am I to talk?] but soon after will admit that when he acts all tough, he is really feeling scared that I might be ill from something other than Peri, and he finds it hard to imagine life without me. So emotionally he does suffer with symptoms that affect a lot of mood changes, fatigue is more pronounced, sexual function, strangely is unaffected at almost 60 [he is 10 yrs older than me, almost 11], and muscle weakness. He can be forgetful, and sometimes even I could swear he is Peri with his mental fog. But I do not point this out to him, he points it out to me, and we laugh together. He "can" suffer rage symptoms/feelings, but has addressed those in a healthy way, but he was never like that before his own change commenced. I don't have the rage symptoms apart from two temper spats when I hormonally crashed from total normal to hormone levels of post meno overnight...literally. All I get is weepy and cry a lot. Between the two of us we are working through this, and supporting each other. If he forgets things, I don't mention them, I just do what he forgot, and he does the same for me.

I do want to thank you for something, Don. You said men liked to be complimented on what they do for we women, like detailing our car, etc. You were right. I tried this, and my DH was SO happy. Now I watch what I compliment, and compliment "man style" for him, and it has really made him feel good. Thank you!!!

Viktoria

Flushing Lady,
Im glad it helped, but to be honest, I don't remember telling you that, but it does sound like
some thing I would say, did I also add that he should be doing the same thing to you? there
are many things that we do for each other that is just done and doesn't need to be thanked for.

I have actuallt known for a while about andropause but have been in a way just trying to ignore
it, hopeing it would just go away, lol. Been more focus on the wife and any thing that she needs,
but now it has gotten to the point that it no longer can be ignored.

Thanks for the reply, I hope every one is gaving a great day.

Don

Be sure any workup includes a full Testosterone panel. Loss of Testosterone/Estrogen causes a severe dysfunction in the part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which actually controls the function of the pituitary. There are other sources of these hormones in the body as well, such as the adrenal glands and the fatty tissue surrounding and supporting the intestines, the omantum. The function of these varies between men and women and there is a great individual variation as well. Its hard to find a specialist that can sort through this. Many Endocrinologists minimize or ignore the possibility of male menopause. Your best bet is some of the ones associated with this site, but follow up with any references you can find elsewhere on the net. Often you just find a study published, but if it seems to address your particular problem, get the name of the principle investigator and chase him/her down by phone. Denying the importance of Menopause in women or men is so well entrenched in Medicine that it is difficult to find anything useful.

Just spotted this post and was wondering if there is a link with male menopause(Andropause) and vasectomy.

My question is could a vasectomy bring on these symptoms also??

Any thoughts?
Thanks for any responses

KathS

I think making a parallel male andropause to menopause is a bit of a stretch. Nonetheless, if it opens up the dialogue of what happens to men in middle age, then that's great.

I think many of us suffer from that list for a good number of reasons, lots of stress at work, stress at home (you know why), pressure from the younger folks "gunnin'" for your job, etc. Also many men played sports and those subtle stress injuries come back and bite you when middle age strikes.

Sore joints, loss of libido, muscle mass loss. Those are pretty sure signs of a drop in testosterone. But I could also list other causes, lack of exercise, giving up looking for sex because of wife's long term lack of interest, drinking more, etc.

I do believe many men suffer from a loss in testosterone and it's related symptoms, but I think andropause is not going to happen to all men in the same way menopause happens to women. So yeah, if he's got the symptoms, it's worth it to check with a doctor, mine ended up not being testosterone related...thus not andropause.

I think it would depend on your AGE. i had a vasectomy 20 years ago and it did not affect my testosterone levels. Now If I had this today it might be a different story. I wonder at what age male testosterone levels decrease and how does this relate to our mates?

Just googled this and got some interesting results

"In fact, a recent World Health Organization (WHO) report, states that “male androgens progressively decline with age.” The study tested androgen levels at age 25 and by age 70, androgen levels were only 10 percent of what they were during youth."

"What is Andropause?"
"By the time men are between the ages of 40 and 55, they can experience a phenomenon similar to the female menopause, called andropause. Unlike women, men do not have a clear-cut signpost such as the cessation of menstruation to mark this transition. Both, however, are distinguished by a drop in hormone levels. Estrogen in the female, testosterone in the male. The bodily changes occur very gradually in men and may be accompanied by changes in attitudes and moods, fatigue, a loss of energy, sex drive and physical agility."

'Starting at about age 30, testosterone levels drop by about 10 percent every decade. At the same time, another factor in the body called Sex Binding Hormone Globulin, or SHBG, is increasing. SHBG traps much of the testosterone that is still circulating and makes it unavailable to exert its effects in the body's tissues. What's left over does the beneficial work and is known as "bioavailable" testosterone.""

Didn't realize that I get to do this too!!!