I really don't know how I'm going to stand all this for the next 10 years or so.

I have only just started full blown Peri symptoms the last 18 months, though I developed migraines 5 years ago which I believe are related as they are now linked to my periods. My sister is 8 years older and her periods are still going strong, a bit irregular, but she hasn't had the same symptoms as me. I'm only 42 so I have years and years to go. I can't stop crying about it this morning - the anxiety and health anxiety are taking me over. The palps bother me in particular and I don't know how I am going to get through the feelings of terror they give me on top of all the anxiety, every day for the next 10 years.

I am on day 4 of my period - this is supposed to be the best time of the month isn't it? Oh, I feel so c**p!

Morning Squiggle

I can relate to you totally - I am 45 and have had this for 18 months or so now - I am coping with the symptoms superficially much better than I was - but the pounding in my chest, the fullness after eating and the back pain and the PVCs - really get me down- they makeit well nigh impossible to relax and sleep wthout medication.....

I am thoroughly fed up with it all - I see my life slipping away and I am just watching it - OK I am doing tons of stuff - but underneath I am struggling to keep the happy face - I really am

I am sitting here now with chest pain and internal shaking and pounding enough to drive me insane

I hate it and just want a moments peace - I have not had that since last May - I just dont think I should look forward to the day it stop cos thereis no guarntee I will ever feel normal again - I just need to keep cool and hang in - every now and then it does get on top of me - of course it does I am only human for goodness sake - I have lost my job cos of peri - and lots of my self confidence

I am doing everything i can - exercising - eating small healthy meals frequently - taking supplements - doing yoga/relaxation - gettingout and doing stuff - on the face of it other people think I am doing fine - but inside very deep I am crying and i am sacred and vulnerable - I wish I could get on top of that feeling...

Anyways - at least it is still cool and rainy and the garden looks greener....

I have not met anyone else even in my local meno group who is having symptoms like me - only on PS do I meet women who really understand

Hugs to you

Mele

Girls,

You might not have another ten years of this. Many women go through meno earlier than 50...so don't lose hope. I am 47 and have been on this roller coaster with severe peri problems for about 18 months as well. Even though I do think that I started peri the year before when my face broke out. For most I think the symptoms get worse as they get closer to the end. While I have read that some women have been going through this for many years I don't think that's the norm. I think I remember Dearest saying that the worst typically last for two maybe three years.

Like both of you I am doing all I can to try to feel better. Vitamins and supplements, eating healthy (no sugar no flour), walking...sometimes I've felt a bit better and sometimes it all seems to hit me again hard. I feel right now that I am function but not really enjoying my life like I used to....but I still am better than I was this time last year.

I keep believing that I'll get back there someday and that I just have to do the best I can to get through each day. I rely on my faith and try to look at things from a different perspective. I know others have experienced a lot worse than I have.

I stop at a local convenience store frequently and daily I see a one legged gentleman filling the paper box. He does this on crutches, alone, all year long. When I see him I think to myself that I really have nothing to complain about. Yes, I'm sore, aching, depressed, my mouth burns and I feel like I can't eat most of the time, but I have two legs and I don't struggle like he does on a daily basis. I shared with him that he inspired me and I respected him for his strength and desire to go on. He said he chose to continue to work (even if only filling newspaper boxes) because it made him feel whole, productive, and it gave his wife a break from him being underfoot

I try to live each day as best as I can. I do the things that are important and necessary. I go to work, socialize and interact with my immediate family, and read my bible. I don't always cook a big meal (every now and then tell them they are on their own), my house is picked up (but far from immaculate...really needs dusting), and I know how my kids and hubby are and I rejuvenate myself through reading scripture. Everything else is optional and up to how I feel.

Ladies...we will get through this. One day at a time with each others help.

TeeJay

Hi Mele,

Read your last post. I had a rough couple of mornings. I am trying so hard to deal with these symptoms and not let it get me down. I spend a couple of hours in bed dozing after my sleep med wears off, starting to dream and then instantly waking up trembling with my heart pounding.

I'm so sick of it. I try to lay there and talk myself back to sleep. Then I finally just get out of bed not feeling rested at all.
What the heck is going on with our bodies?

I just take it one day at a time the best I can.

That's all any of us can do.

Hope you have a better day.

Lisa

Hi All,

I feel for you all. I really do. I have been suffering for so long, I don't even know the length of time anymore. I started going through peri in my 30's (I'm now 48). I didn't even know it. I just knew that I had severe anxiety (almost crippling), migraines,heart paps, didn't care about anything, crying spells and I was just worn out all the time. My temper was short and I couldn't be trusted to even make decisions concerning my own life. I have suffered from hot flashes for at least 5 years, and they became severe the last 3 years. All my other symptoms pretty much went away, but the flashes never did. I can honestly say that I have done and taken just about everything to get rid of them because I didn't want to take HRT. My sisters are both older than myself and they told me that the flashes would one day drive me over the edge.

I decided to prove them wrong, but I failed. One day I woke up very sad and depressed realizing that my life was unbearable. I was just tired of suffering. A severe hotflash made me so sick and I actually felt like I was going to pass out. If I wasn't sitting when one hit, I would panic. Who needs to live like this? I decided that my choices were limited. I could either live like this praying that this day would be the day that my flashes would stop, or I could do something about it. I decided against my better judgement to start a low dose HRT. I now wish I had done this sooner. I have wasted so much time feeling bad. 4 weeks into it, I am almost back to my old self. My flashes aren't completely gone, but I am down to 3 or 4 mild ones a day when it used to be 20-30 and sometimes 40 severe ones. What if they hung aroung another 5 years? I just couldn't take that chance. I needed my life back.


Patrice

Hi Mele & thanks,

I feel so bad for whingeing when I know that you & so many others are going through it too. It just seems like it is such a long road ahead.

I have come to terms with the migraines, have overcome the gastritis, am coping mostly with the anxiety these days but the palps are new to me & have brought me right down again. The HA has never gone away but is obviously worse if there is a physical problem, and then I notice all my physical problems at once and start to worry about them. Oh, I know that you can understand it - I'm sorry that you are suffering it too.

I even worry that my journey ahead will involve all the other horrible symptoms that some of the other women here have, that I don't have right now. I am terrified of the words hysterectomy and cancer. I am just NOT having a good day today!

I feel I must be doing something simple wrong to be like this. As you say, other people I know don't seem to get these symptoms. I start to look at what I'm eating - like if I was to give up some bizarre food such as pineapple, all my problems will go away.

I did the York labs food intolerance tests in January and it came back with strong food intolerances to cows milk, eggs & wheat; but I don't have the energy right now to give all that up & replan my diet. I have started with one of them (eggs) and that has been really hard to do. I find quite often the best I can do energywise to feed the family is buy a ready made lasagne and serve it with a lump of broccoli on the side. I am trying (& succeding mostly) to feed the family 5 fruit & veg a day but it is the best I can manage most days. Quite often, I don't know where I find the energy to cook at all.

Well, I have my goals for Sept when the kids are back at school: start yoga, restart acupuncture, CBT class begins. I need to focus on these - they may help a bit. The palps are a bit less frequent than before thanks to the mag/cal but I am still getting some terrifying runs of most days.

Well, I hope you are having a better day - as you say the cool weather is wonderful. Who'd have thought us Brits would be pleased to get rain!

Well, thanks again for replying - I do appreciate your support. How's the new herb tea been for your symptoms? Any improvement?

love Squiggle

Thanks Patrice - you do give us all some hope for the future. How did the HRT affect your palps?

My periods are still pretty much regular apart from the peculiar (late and lengthy) one that coincided with my palps 3 months ago. I doubt the docs would put me on HRT right now, but I am keen, like many, to try & get through drug & med free first anyway if I can. I can certainly understand why you went on it though, and it is great that it has had such positive results for you. Thank you for replying and for such a positive message.

Hi Teejay,

I really hope you are right about the ten year bit, but do people ever complete menopause earlier than 51, or is it just the lucky ones (that start peri at 49 and complete it by 51) that only get a 2 year sentence? I am dreading the thought of these symptoms getting any worse since I am only 42 - I feel I am most likely to have a number of years to go yet. All I can go on are my mother & sister who haven't had particularly early meno finish dates.

You are so right about thinking about others worse off than ourselves. Unfortunately, today that just sets me crying thinking about them too. Oh dear... my hormones are really moaning today...bring on tomorrow!

Thanks for sharing your positive outlook - hopefully we'll all have agood day tomorrow!

love Squiggle

Hi ladies,

Yes I know the crippling feeling of this all. I'm on a roller coaster ride I started back in Nov. 2005, 2 months right after my 35th birthday and it's has been very crazy. My worst symptom is anxiety. It is so hard for me to get out of bed in the mornings. I also have been getting migraines. I'm praying everyday that the anxiety will leave. Also the mornings are worst, I have never felt this nervous all the time. I feel just like the rest of you ladies 10yrs of this OMG.

Squiggle,

Yes...women definitely can get through peri/meno prior to 50. My mother was completely finished with all of it by the time she was 46. The age of 51 to be finished is the average..some women may go through it early some later.

I've had days like you are having (still do every now and then). Crying can be therapeutic so go right on and have a good cry

I wish I could make this better for all of us...like you no one around me or related to me has seemed like they had this rough of a time with meno. I only have found one aquaintance who is going through the same thing. My friends here on PS have really been my strength.

I hope tomorrow finds you much better.

TeeJay

Everyone is different. I have friends that have all the symptoms I have or had, but in stages. I just happened to have all mine at once. My sisters didn't have the anxiety. My mother did. I have an aunt who is 79 that never took HRT and is still having hot flashes. I work with a 51 year old lady who hasn't even started peri and another 52 year old who used to have hotflashes, but is now suffering with crying spells and depression. My best friend only had a few flashes and then nothing. She is 54. My other friend is 54 and was on HRT for a year, than decided to go without HRT because of financial reasons. She was symptom free for 3 years, and then her flashes came back but only every now and then, but she is also starting to have problems sleeping.

My sisters both suffered greatly before going on HRT. One of my sisters is now starting to have ear ringing and palps. I have already had all of what she is going through right now. My mother used to get the Estrogen shots. She went off of them at age 55 and she never had another hot flash, but I am sure that she had other problems but doesn't attribute them to menopause. My sisters have both passed the age of 55 and one of them tried to go off HRT and wasn't off of them for 2 weeks before her flashes came back. Everybody is just different. That is one of the most important things I have learned throughout this whole thing. You just have to do what is right for you. After all you are the one who is suffering, physically as well as mentally.

I know exactly what you all are talking about....my peri symptoms started when i was 29 years old and i will be 42 in a few weeks,that's a long time to go through this.I have very bad days,some just bad days,some so-so days and i also have good days and some very good days.It definitely is a roller coaster ride because each day seems to be a different set of problems and symptoms.How do i make it?I just do,i have no choice.But one thing i DO know is the more you think about and focus on your problems,the worse they tend to be.The old saying "what you think about you bring about"is true.So i try to stay busy,try not to sit and dwell on what's going on with me.Some days it is hard,especially when i am having anxiety,but i do make it through till the next day even though i feel i won't sometimes.We all made it through puberty,we will make it through this too.
By the way,i am curious.....did any of you have a hard time with puberty?I did,i had depression,spaced out feeling 24/7,mood swings,etc....i am wondering if there's any connection to how puberty was and menopause.

Hi Patrice,

Thanks for replying. Sorry if it sounded like I was putting HRT down - I wasn't! I certainly don't rule out HRT for the future - it's just I haven't got to that stage yet, as the realisation that my symptoms are all peri-related is all pretty new to me (I realised about 2 weeks ago when I found this site!). I will probably try to go it drug-free for as long as possible, but I would take HRT if it all becomes too much. I'm actually really nervous that it's going to get far worse in the future than it already is!!!

Take care,

Squiggle




Hi Moonlight,

No my puberty was pretty straightforward - light periods started at 11, no major teenage problems/ symptoms (although I did argue a lot with my mum who was going through meno at the same time!)

No Squiggle, I was just putting my 2 or 3 cents in. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to go on HRT. I feel the same way you do. I felt that I was letting myself down by giving in. You just don't know how hard I tried not too. I believe that if you can go without, you are doing a great thing for yourself in the long run. My only problem was that I didn't know if I was going to make it. I kept my patches on the shelf for a month before putting one on. I just didn't want to give in. Now, I'm glad I did only because I do feel better. I could go on and on, but I think I've said enough on that subject.

Patrice, You mustn't feel bad - you have done something which is wonderful for you and that is that you have found something that worked! (From what I've read HRT doesn't work for everyone so that makes it all the more worthwhile you taking it!)

Sometimes we have to do what is best for ourselves rather than what we would like to do. I try & avoid meds for small things if I can because I think that one day I may need to take them for something major (for which I wouldn't hesitate) and I don't want to be taking a whole cocktail of them. (I narrowly avoided them for migraines and anxiety in the past, but I got very, very close to taking them - in fact I took them for a couple of days and reacted badly to them, else I might still be on them).

For you, the meno symptoms had definitely become something major...we are so lucky to live in an age where such choices exist! We are so lucky to have the internet and PS!!

love Squiggle

My dear Mele,
This happens to me so frequently I could scream. I've had really bad bouts and then it eases, but always seems to come back. You described it perfectly - the pounding heart and fullness at the top of my tummy after eating. At night, I lay in bed with it and wonder if I'll wake up in the morning (I always have!). I've worn a 24/hr monitor, had EKGs and all is normal. I do think GERD has something to do with it - when I take my Aciphex regularly, it seems to help. have you heard Claire Weekes description of the heart thing (not an exact quote) - "a marble bouncing up/down in a tin can". That's my heart in a sentence.

I send you and your pounding heart a HUGE hug from across the ocean - many warm hugs my dear friend. Pam

Hiya Reelpam BIg hugs to you my dear friend!!!!

Yup - the wibbly wobby marble in the chest behind my breast bone - although for me it is a mighty big marble more akin to a large tennis hard bouncy ball I think - the force of the heart beat is massive - lying down is the worst - everynight - I lie down to read and relax and bang bang bab - bbbb - bang - thump bang - god it drives me beserk some nights (by the way I cant lie on my left cos it is worse if I try to lie that way - heart goes nuts) - I do still get frightened of it - irrational I know - and mostly I ignore it - BUT it is still there.......it feels like my heart is going to BURST!!! I know it isnt - but you know how it is - sometimes you think - can this really be GERD making my heart bounce about like this? It gets worse and better but never leaves me- it feels like my tummy is right up there.......blast it!!!!

And Squiggle

How are you doing? My herb teas in the evening sure do help to relax me - Lemon Balm tea plus a wee dose of Zopiclone - knock me out for about 5 or 6 hours - which is heaven and a million times longer than I was getting 3 months ago - so I have my tea, take my chopped up zopiclone - lie down for the 30 mins of marble heart and then drift off into blessed herb/drug induced slumber...aaaahhhhhh! I am trying to get off the zopiclone gradually - well see - no rush cos I need that sleep...how the heckers did I cope with nothing?? No wonder I was nuts.....

Hugs

Mele - still waking up every morning much to my amazement and astonishment!!!!!

Mele,

Love your posts! You sound like a funny person who is using your sense of humor to get by. Yeah, the marble in the tin can sounds about right.

Have a good one.

Lisa

The last few days have been pretty good for me and today I'm starting a three day weekend with plans to go on a giant hike and get some surfing in. Well I woke this AM with my damn period! I never know when its coming, how long it'll stay or how heavy or light it will be so it totally ruins my week. My poor vagina has been dry and very painful this week even with the Replens and Vagifem. My ears are ringing and my teenage neighbor is blasting the music and won't answer the doorbell. I'm shaking, my heart is pounding and the fatigue is unbearable. Miraculasly (sp?) I don't have my normal migraine but my skin has scales that would rival a dragon. I'm 47 and have been suffering with peri for a long time too.

You ladies are the only part of this that makes it bearable. I also try to get lots of exercise, eat well, try to sleep take my vitamins etc. Some days are good and others are BAD like today. This thread was like someone read my mind. I do count my blessings and know that people have a lot worse problems, yet it is sometimes very hard to feel so crappy for so long, feel a bout of unexpected good health and out of the blue a long lost or newly found symptom comes my way. I honestly thought that I was done with the periods. ERGGGGHHHH!

Knowing that this will end is fine but years? OMG! It's been going on for years. I hope that the end is marked by worsening symptoms. Unless of course, they can be worse than they are today. Yes, I'm actually venting and ranting which is a luxury that I'm not allowed except in cyberspace and for this I love you! I have relatively no support in this phase of my life so PS is my lifeline now. Thanks ladies I share your pain, literally.

My peri start time and symptoms are similar to Patrice's. I started peri at around age 37-38 and things got worse about 5 years ago (notice my regristraton date). I'm 45 yo. Then I hit big time anxiety, depression, gas, dizziness, sweats, heart pounding, BP spikes, no sex drive, on and on and on, really bad starting in 2004. I'm happy to say that now that my periods are coming every 4-5 months, I'm much better. I still have symptoms, but the continual onslaught of severe symptoms have abated.

I think there's a light at the end of the tunnel

Hiya Mele,

Well, not a good weekend - spent most of it crying over I don't know what - but hopefully I am coming out of it now. I feel better this morning so far.

Do you make up your own lemon balm tea? I used to have lemon balm in the garden in an old house 10 years ago, but I don't have any right now. I need to plant some. Meanwhile - can you buy the tea?

Girls - I am so grateful for your posts - they really keep me going. I don't know how I'd cope without this site!

Gia,

Thanks for your message....I'm having more and more difficulty having periods. I am due to start in a few days (if I'm on time) and I feel so miserable. I keep thinking that the worse I feel the closer I must be getting. I am 18 months into severe peri symptoms..so I'm hoping that light might be getting close. I appreciate you sharing.

TeeJay

It really saddened my heart to read of all the suffering that we all are going through. My peri symptoms hit me with a continual sinus and allergy condition and a pounding, very rapid heartbeat in the summer of 2004. Next the itchy, hiving high histamine skin condition that plagues me everywhere on my body arrived. And with the continual pounding, faster heartbeat I now hear this non-stop ringing in my ears - sometimes clanging like silverware or an unbearable loud continual hissing, or even a pulsating tinnitus coinciding with the beat of my heart. I wonder a lot if these peri symptom of head noises EVER ENDS??? It is all I can do to muster up the strength to ignore these awful symptoms. I can't go on hormone replacement for medical reasons either. Any comments would be so appreciated! Thanks girls for reading my post. Celica

Hi Celica,

I also had the itchy hives last year in response to a medication for my stomach (gastritis). Are you sure you are not allergic to anything? Mine lasted 6-8 weeks after I finished taking the medication. I found tepid baths and antihistimine helped.

I started Peri in 2002. I was only 41 It announced it arrival with palpitations and a marithon period. My husband took me the to the emergency room, I was bleeding so bad. That period lasted three months. The following periods lasted much too long. The nurse practitioner there prescriced a mixture of Soy Lecthin granules, Flax seeds and Psyllium husk. I had to take that stuff every morning for two years to help regulate the periods and control the bleeding. HRT was not an option for me. My mother had developed breast cancer from it and I had lost several Aunts to diseases that were directly attributable to it.

Spring and Summer are normally fairly period free seasons for me. 2003 and 2004 saw marthon periods right through the normally quiet seasons.

Today I am still in Peri, but I am past the stage of marathon periods. Now all I get is a trickle of sludge in late Summer and Fall.

Hi Oak leaf - do you still get the palps? Are they or were they the PVC / skipped beats type? I am keen to hear from people who have had them and then they diminished!