Hi everyone,

Well, I have been a bit of a worrier all my life it's true, but 18 months ago along with other peri symptoms, I developed Health Anxiety full on. Just about every medical symptom I get, I cannot get out of my mind, and I always jump to the worst conclusion. It is sooooooooooo exhausting. I seek out the doctor, but since these days, for fear of being sued for being wrong, they cannot definitively say you have nothing serious, I continue to worry & worry. I seek out info on the internet but that just tells me about serious complications and I start to worry I will develop those too. AAargh!

I don't just worry about my health but also that of my 2 kids and my husband.

Examples:

Last Sunday my hubby developed a headache (he never gets headaches). In true male form, he went straight to bed and could barely speak saying he couldn't talk to me right now. Well of course I immediately decided he must have Meningitis and was trying to decide who to leave the kids with if I needed to go to hospital. I was trying to quiz him if he could tolerate bright light or put his chin to chest, but he wouldn't speak. All day long I worried, and that night I couldn't sleep while he snored happily away, in case he got worse. Next day, bright & breezy he said he was fine & it must have been a migraine, similar to those that he knows I get. Meanwhile I was shattered and having to deal with these wretched palps, which in themselves are terrifying. Grrr

Thursday my son fell off his bike & grazed his knee. No problem, I thought, simple graze. (Great so far!) My son limped all the way to school on Friday & I just thought he was making a fuss; he is inclined to, being 11. I sent him to swimming club on Friday evening. Well Saturday he was still limping & the graze was slightly red around the edge. I felt the fear flood through me & it had the usual effect of sending me straight to the loo. Oh no, thinks me, I should have taken him to the hospital, he should never have swum, he may have infected it (maybe one of those rare MRSA-type bugs, like that soldier recently picked up & died from, found in soil) or maybe he's fractured his kneecap, or got one of those serious footballer-type injuries that requires an operation (and that means he's bound to react to the anaesthetic & die). My husband took a quick look and said it looked pretty normal, probably just a bruise making him limp & a bit swollen. Well, needless to say I didn't stop worrying. (I spent all day on this forum yesterday to try & distract myself). This morning the redness & swelling have gone so I am no longer worried about infection. However, he says it hurts less, but it is still a bit painful to bend it fully so the fear of damage is still there for me. Logic tells me the knee is improving, but health anxiety is frightening me still.

Today, I am also worrying because my knees ache dully on the inside edge. I have had it before and this time I have had it for a week. It is not the joint - it feels more like soft tissue ache at the side. It is annoying, and the anxiety s building up.. what is it .. is it arthritis... etc etc...

This forum has helped so much by making me realise many of my symptoms are down to peri. Maybe this leg ache is another of them. But all this worry is tiring me out!!

I'm starting Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in September, hopiing this will help!!

Hi Squiggle

I have done CBT for my anxiety and health anxiety - which (the health anxiety) to be honest was justified cos I had all these symtpoms which NO Dr coudl tell me what was causing them all UNTIL I came to PS which has put my mind at rest so much cos they are now all connected by PERI.......

Ignoring all your negative thoughts wont make them go away - you need to challenge what you are thinking - cos these thoughts just inflame panic and worry.......'you are what you think' is very true for me

Remember Star Wars - worry leads to anxiety which leads to panic which leads to fear which leads to the DARK SIDE!!!!!!!

There are lots of ways in which our thoughts can become distorted and negative - these are some notes I made from some self help books from the library earlier this year.....
Black & white thinking - "always" or "never". Treating things as absolute when they arent
Catastrophising - focusing on worst outcome
Magnification/minimization - exaggerate negative, underrate positive
Overgeneralising - taking isolated cases and applying them widely
Disqualifying positive - ignoring positive experience
Labelling - assigning labels that puts thing/person in unalterable terms
Emotional reasoning - basing decisions on feelings rather than whats out there in the real world.
Mental filter - Focusing on one but of the situaiton while ignoring the rest
Jumping to conclusions - assuming negative even where no evidence to support it
Personalisingation & blaming- Assuming you or others directly caused things
Mind reading - assuming intentions of other people
Fortune telling - assuming stuff will turn out bad
Shoulds - wishful thinking

You have challnged and accepted the way you thought through things and got yourself worked up over your hubby and son - that is what CBT will do too - you are doing it already!!!! you just need to catch yourslef earlier!!!!

Mele

You're so right Mele!

I do recognise how I'm reacting, even when I'm doing it. It's shutting those worst-case thoughts off that I have trouble with. It's almost like I'm punishing myself. I would love to be scanned like on Star Trek and be told categorically nothing is wrong with me, but it will never happen. When one of these episodes occurs, it's like I'm 2 different people - the logical one and the stressed-out, fearful one.

I've come a long way with my general anxiety and am no longer afraid of it and the out-of-the-blue, irrational feelings of fear that go with it which is a huge improvement on how I was a year ago. Now I need to deal with this health anxiety lark!

I'm looking forward to the CBT!!

Gosh Mele,

You just saved me hours and dollars. I kid you not, Squiggles and your post have really made me re-think my way of processing my chronic anxiety. I have been going to a therapist for years and although she does help me, these last two posts have put me at a much greater ease. Thank you for sharing your experiences and support. Knowing that peri is a major player in my life right now would not be of much comfort if I had no reference to some sort of relief. I honestly feel Squiggle's pain and I hope she knows that she is not alone or unsupported. Wishing all a positive peri day!

Mele,
What a great list and does it describe me to a T...I've always gone to the worst case scenario in everything and I think with the added bonus of peri now it's gotten out of control...I'm become very...do I dare write it...suicidal ......lately, thinking I'm such damaged goods from earlier issues never resolved that being gone would benefit all....I have started therapy (again) but really really wondering if I'm fixable.....PS has certainly helped immensely but this depression has taken my life and flipped it into a dark hole.......

HI Shakti

I am glad that PS has helped you - I have just finished seeing my therapist - saw her about 5 times in all and mostly did work from self help books and a free self help group on the phone (in UK only) which lasted 10 weeks and was really fab (charity called No Panic for anyone reading in UK)

I have been severely tested by peri and without my dear hubby and wonderful sister and the girls on PS I dont want to think where I would be.......locked up or dead I should think........either way in Crudsville.

What I got to realise was that thinking and reading and talking about getting rid of my anxiety was not actually getting rid of it - I needed to get my lazy bum out of the door and do stuff.......it has not been an easy path and I have f****d up many times and felt like quitting cos the fatigue and blasted awful symptoms of peri just sap all my strength - except one little bit which seems to keep me going - I am darned if thiis going to beat me.......

I have learnt that MEnopause is about putting ME first more often and that is not something to feel guilty about (guilt - what is that???)

I have learnt that DOING overcomes negative thinking........replacing thought with actions. The old saying - if you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat rings true.......I aint walked on water but I go shopping to the supermarket with NO FEAR!!!!!

I have found that fear cannot exist where there is hope and trust........it keeps trying to sneak back in cos I am only human - I accept that but then I say 'OK - you have had a bit of an outing - now back you go and leave me to get on with my life'

I have discovered friendship is so important and living just for my work was insane. I want to help people not just myself.

I am less kind to my body - instead of allowing it to sit all day and just exercising my wrists abit to type I am dragging it out on major cycles and walks - and I am not giving it nice simple sugars to digest - not it has to work its way through complex carbs and tons of fresh fruit and veg......yes - body is learning what it is like to actually start living life again.......it is not vegetating in front of the TV......

Shakti - dont let this big fat bully anxiety get you down - dont call it chronic anxiety call it Mr Boo!!!! I laugh at Mr Boo when he tries to make me anxious!!!!

You are not alone - and you can move on - dont expect anxiety to go comletely - cos it is part of all of us - life is not stress free and fluffy - it is tough and often sad - but we are tough and resilient and we can live the lives we want to live if we trust and look ahead

Saying that peri is sorely testing me today and my head feels so odd and flitty I think it may drop off any minute!!!

Love

Mele

Hi Momzoffour

I know how you feel

I was very anxious and down in Dec last year - no-one could tell me what the heck was going on and i thought I was dying of some disease inknown to science.....I was not sleeping - was having panic attacks and all Dr coudl say was to relax and calm down .......was being bullied at work (walked out) and hub lost job too...long story.....

OK - I was put on ADs (Citalopram) for the anxiety - and they said I was depressed.......put me in psychiatric ward.......(HELL on earth)..... the trouble was that I became very very agitated - I felt demented and out of control - it was very very scary...I was sure it was the drugs......they said it was cos I was anxious so put me on Lorazepam (more drugs) - then took me off that cos they said it was addictive and put me on huge does of Phenergan - I was still agitated and felt drugged out of my head - I could hardly think - they then put me on Risperadol - which I refused to take after 2 days cos my pulse rate which was already irregular and fast went nuts - they woudlnt listen - it was awful.........I was sent home and I was in terrible pain and really agitated - couldnt sleep - was on all these drugs - I rang the ward and told them I was in terrible gastric pain - they said - we are pschy ward - nothing we can do - ie go away and clam down.....ended up taking an overdose (enough to knock me out for the day only....I knew what I was doing cos I didnt take anything that hurt me) - I was desperate for some help - no-one woudl listen about my hormones or pain or lack of sleep - they just kept saying I was anxious.....it took me 8 weeks to get off the dratted ADs (SSRIs) and was agitation gradually went - I did go to ER a few times when I felt like hurting myself again - but gradually the suidical imagery and dark thoughts went as the ADs cleared my system and I felt much better like a storm had passed. I went to a hospital when I was down at my sisters and they said adverse reaction to ADs and why was I on Phenergan???? I went to a herbalist who was horrified by my medical treatment....we gradually took me off the drugs and I am so much better apart from peri of course!!!!

So - that ramble was to say that I know what it is like to have these thoughts - but they are just thoughts - they cannot hurt you - only you can hurt you. For a while I looked back with much fear at what I had done - and then I came to realise that I was on all those drugs - I was not in control - how scary - but I am now......I will never trust a psychiatrist again........

You are fixable - BUT you are only human - give yourself a break - you are doing OK - forget the damaged goods thoughts - and think that you are honed by your experiences - you are moulded by the events in your life - you cant change them - they are you - but life lies ahead not behind...........we are all getting older and getting more Wrinkles and scratches and blemishes from life - but there is so much to do and experience and you can and will get well - really.........

Hugs and good thoughts to you for all your tomorrows - you blemished human you!!!!

Mele

I to was suffering like you, but it took me 4 years to discover afterall it was my hormones rearing their ugly head, I was also admittted to hospital had all sorts of tests done to find nothing wrong with me, after all my research I came to realise that its my hormones and doctors should be more clued up with regarding symptoms and not tellig women to just relax, after being pushed around and shoved around from 1 doctor to the next. I now know what to ask when I do go to the doctor, and I tell them straight where I am comming from, I take no more slack from them, I spoke to a lady who works at a pharmacy and she has guided me through my peri stage, when I told her my problems she just said IT`S YOUR HORMONES, gave me some vitamins STAMINOGRO and FEMOLENE ULTRA and I have never looked back. So keep your chin up, the sun will shine brighter for you and try to not let it get you down, keep yorself busy keep your mind occupied, there is nothing wrong with you, I have always been healthy and when good old PERI came around and cause havoc, I toooo thought I was dying that there was something wrong with me, I was so bad with anxiety that I used to throw up, but today I look back and laugh as I am a stronger person than I was. Good Lucl and keep that chin up. We are all in the same boat us women, by the way those Vits i am taking are from South Africa (Johannesburg) and I don`t know if you can get them on your side of the world.

What lovely positive messages Monica & Mele. You've cheered me up for today! We will all get through this & end up stronger than before.

[By the way my son's leg was fixed enough for him to try out his bike this afternoon (though he is still careful to walk with the limp - I think my initial assessment of him was correct!) So that worry is over for now - my nerves can stand down until the next crisis!!]

Thanks Shakti for your kind thoughts. I'm sorry you're having to go through this too.

The word suicidal always gets my attention! My husband did the awful deed 3 years ago. Recently with my depression I have found myself having similar thoughts but I know I would never do it. Mainly because I'm a mother and my daughter would only be destined for the same misery. Since I do not have a history of depression I had no idea what was happening to me but I know some days I feel that I will never be on the other side of this. I also have panic attacks. I finally decided medication was the only choice because I can't live this way.

Reading everyone's posts I am able to see that I won't be in this emotional hell forever.

Lisa

Hello Monica from South Africa - how marvellous - we really are turning into a global community!!!!! I am sad to hear - but not surprised that medical training in South Africa is also lacking in the basics of female hormonal physiology - cant believe you suffered for 4 years. I will look your vitamins up on the web once i get back from my sojourn with my sister (I am away for 4 days from tomorrow - off to see my herbalist....who is a gem....a real healer)

Hello to Lisa - I am sorry to hear about your husband - I cant imagine what you went through - I was so mixed up - looking back now I cant believe it was me doing that - I was so mixed up and confused - hubby said it was like it wasnt me - he was so glad when I was off the drugs - sometimes they just dont agree with us - we are all different. I know many people who are on ADs and doing fine - they give them the break they need to take stock and sort out. It is funny - I was not suicidal - I was just crying out for help - I didnt want to die - I just wanted rest and to be pain free - I guess I didnt know how to cry out loud enough or who too.......

Yes - there is a way out - and I hope we can all help you to get there - the phsycial stuff with peri is bad enough - without all this crushing emotional turmoil........

What are you doing for your panic attacks?? Do you do relaxation - deep breathing etc? What causes the panic or are they like mine were seemingly out of the blue?

Hugs to you all - I will pop back in Thursday or Friday to catch up cos am away now for a few days - best wishes till then

Hi Squiggle - hope you are doing OK - good thread - HA has been a big problem for me over last year - good to talk about it

Mele

Thanks for your kind words. I tried for months to do the herbal thing. It helped some. Now I take lorazapem for the panic attacks but I can't be on that for long. Dr. says the zoloft should help with that eventually. My PAs came out of the blue and there were times that they were 24 - 7. Then I noticed catastrophic thinking and became very sensitive to anything and everything. My therapist calls it "high alert." I hate the idea of drugs but I couldn't take care of my child the way I was. The meds are helping. No major attacks but I do have anxiety and palps all the time, in addition to the burning skin and lack of motivation and insomnia. Who is this person I've become? Don't recognize her at all. Yuck!

I have high hopes of working on this cognitively in therapy and getting off these meds.

Have a trip.

Lisa

HI all and esp Lisa

Just checking in before bedtime

Yes - I was in high alert - I had to gradually reset my panic levels down - I am still doing that.....

You WILL work this through with CBT - I did - it was little steps and determination - but I know you will do it

Hang in there and believe in yourself and your daughter

Best wishes see you later in the week

Mele

I am definitively tired weary of peri! Just call me chicken little! I set and wait for the sky to fall!

Boy do I know how you feel, my husband came home from work early today. He said he felt tired and his back was hurting. I question him endlessly. Was his chest hurting> took his temp. Thought OMG if this is something serious and he can't work we will lose the house. He also took a nap and after waking up was hungry and ate like a horse.
Speaking of horses >>>
Then I go out to feed my horse tonight and his eye is swollen, now this happen sometimes and I have to put medication in it. It a reaction to a fly or something, the Vet just doesn't know.
I even drove the little guy to a large horse hospital to see a horse optometrist two years ago... But tonight I'm thinking it seem worse then before, by morning it will shall be better if not then I will worry and call the Vet (she lives 5 min away)!

I DO Hate This!

BUT Some how peri is teaching me patience and I have no control over life!

opps my horse saw a equine ophthalmologists>>> optometrist does glasses I think!
I totally have no brain anymore!

Wonder why we worry so?
I think I do it because I'm afraid I will not be able to handle the pressure if something goes wrong!
I would collapse, pass out, have a stroke? people will say "you are stronger then you think".
At this point I am not, I an weary and worn out with peri and even small stresses sends me into a spiral of anxiety!

I suffered from anxiety, panic it was full blown, i do not have a coping technique as my vitamins and herbal supplements are doing it for me, I just do not think about panic attacks 27/7 like I used to. Its all thanx to my supplements i am taking, since I started taking them my anxiety/panic has stopped.

Hi Snowmoon et al

I think we have so many new frightening experiences with peri because we don't understand them that it heightens our nerves, brings on a form of insecurity because we don't know what life's going to throw at us next.

Actually a horse in glasses is a lovely thought Snowmoon!

It reminds me of another recent panic of mine involved my son, age 11, suddenly telling me everything was seriously blurred in one eye. (Oh, must mention this discovery was made when he was trying out an eye chart for fun while his 8 year old brother was having his wrist put in plaster... but that's another story!) When I got home, I tested him with car number plates and he couldn't read them at all with the bad eye. Well, you girls would know what my mind made of that ... eye tumours... brain tumours. I took him straight to an optomotrist who did eye tests and who casually mentioned one of his eyes was smaller than another and had it always been this way... if not she said he would need urgent hospial tests!! Well you can imagine I got worse at this point... palps took off like a rocket. Fortunately I have photographic proof that I have to look at daily to remind myself that yes his eyelid on one side has always dropped slightly lower than the other. Even though this is the case I have to keep checking, eyen now. Well everything is fine now & he has glasses - turns out he's amblyopic (born very longsighted in one eye so eye not developed properly).

Kids, pets, hubbys, horses... anyone feel they'd like to step out of this world just for a week or so to a world where they have no-one to else to worry about - just to take a short break then step back in?

I love my kids to bits but I am glad I only have 2 and not 5 to worry (and I mean this quite literally) about!!

HOLY MACKERAL!!!!!!!!

Everytime that I get on to this forum, I can't believe that I have finally found people that know exactly what I am going through---

Used to be the most easy goin', carefree person in the world--the WHAM!! I start to worry about everything!!! Just like the rest of you, symptoms are overanalyzed, and I end up having every disease in the world!

Oh, and my kids----YES,YES,YES!!!!! My daughter has had bloody noses off and on since she was about 2 years old. No big deal, kids get bloody noses, RIGHT? Wrong----all of a sudden, now that she is 6, it has to be something more serious--------I sat in the bathroom with her one night, trying to get her nose to stop, and I had a complete full blown PA right there! I am shaking like a fool, my heart is racing, I was a nervous wreck----What the heck has happened to me?????

What a comfort to know that I am not a nut job---I hate to say it, but I am so glad that the rest of you have this crap too--kind of makes me feel not so alone!
Brandy

Hi Brandy,

Good to hear from you. Sorry you're suffering too with the dreaded HA.

Have you heard of "Thought for the day"... well maybe we should start "Worry for the day"...?

Today's worry for me: I am worrying that my younger son may be dyslexic or have a permanent stutter (that will affect his future confidence) as he is stumbling over his words when reading. He's always done this but previously I had put it down to his age. He is above average in reading, I shouldn't really be worried... but there we go - today I am!

Hi: Ladies, boy can I relate to the anxiety, it never goes.

Mele: Can you give a few more details about the CBT. It's sounds like a book I have. Does it really help. How long do you have to work at it. Any information would be helpful.

Peg

Hi Ladies!

Thanks for all your kind words and wisdom. The other day my Hubby was trying to improve our wireless connection and managed to mess up the whole internet connection for a couple of days. Talk about anxiety! I need Power Surge and you gals. I agree about getting out and DOING. I feel so bad airing my complaints when I read how much worse some of you feel. I really want to reach out and hug and comfort you all but I'm so new at all this Peri crap all I can do is get through this, recieve help and try to be supportive. Thank you especially to Mele, you are amazing.

Hi Peg,

I have bought a book some time ago to help with my health anxiety (not read it yet as I want to do the therapy course first) but it's by Helen Kennerley and is called " Overcoming Anxiety, A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioual Techniques". I'm sure there are other books like it out there too.

One book I have read for general anxiety which you may have heard of is Dr Claire Weekes' "Self-help for your Nerves". This doesn't particularly use CBT but has been my anxiety bible over the last 18 months and has kept me sane!! It has a wonderful method teaching you to "float" through your fears and barriers.

Hope this helps

love squiggle

Hi Monica4rd,

Can you please tell me which vitamins and herbs are helping you with panic attacks and how long did it take for them to work. I've tried homeopathic remedies and nothing has worked except medication but I hate the idea of taking it and it doesn't help 100 percent.

Thanks,
Lisa

Mele,

I am so glad you posted that list. Years ago I had a cognitive therapy book called "Feeling Good" by David Burns. I lent it to my daughter and she still has it. That book listed everything on your list and I was trying to remember the entire list but couldn't do it. Your post gave me everything I was looking for!

I've been feeling down today about the return of some symptoms and your post was just what I needed to read. Thanks so much!

Daisy

Hi lisa
As I am from South Africa, I don`t know if you can get the products i am using where you are, but i will give you the ingredients of the stuff i am using and the names.

FEMOLENE ULTRA(for pms and peri etc...)
Soya isoflavones,black cohosh,mexican wild yam, dong quai, chasteberry, ginko biloba, folic acid, biotin, magnesium carbonate, zinc gluconate.Vit a,b1,b2,b3,b5,b6,b12, vit c, vit d, vit e.
This product helps with my panic and anxiety, it worked instantly when i started and you can take up to 2 tabs twice a day, i take mine at night as it also helps me sleep, if i am nervy i take it also in the morning, which has never happened.

STAMINOGRO( multi Vit)
Glycine,L-arginine HCI,L-glutamine,L-lysine,L-omithine, beta carotene,lipoic acid, Vit c,e, Selenium, zinc, Vit B 1,2,3,5,6,12, elemental calcium,Vit d Biotin, choline bitartrate,copper, magnesium,manganese.
This product is only to be taken at night, and you can take up to 4 tabs if nesecary, my gynae prescrbed these for me and they really work, i feel so much relaxed and i get alot done in the day as i have more energy. If i stop taking these my body goes back into a war zone, i have been on these products since february 2006, and i have not looked back. . Keep your chin up, smile and the sun will smile with you.

Monica

Well the HA has really got its teeth into me the last couple of weeks. Last week I got a mossie bite on my scalp - really itchy & I was convinced right from day 1 it was skin cancer, despite the facet i react badly to mossie bites & they tend to last a while. Finally, after 12 days, thankfully it has gone!

Now I have had a unusually for me seriously bloated stomach for the last 4 days - I am trying so hard not to think at all what it could be as along with the true cause, I know I will find 5 that are life threatening! It's probably something I'm eating, but my mind won't accept that & just woke me at 5am this morning to worry about it!

Meanwhile I keep getting rashes under my breast/ on my stomach the last few weeks. Doc says it's dermatitis & gave me hydrocortisone which works after a week, but only to be replaced by a new rash somewhere else. I'm now worried I am becoming allergic to lycra/ elastic in my bra. What on earth am I supposed to wear if that is the case (I am big-chested).

The rash is so itchy, it is hard to forget. I had it once before 8 months ago & tried fungal creams then as I thought it might be thrush, but it took 8 weeks to go that time & then stayed away for 6 months!

These things are all eating away at me as I feel so anxious about them all. I know they are small in the great scheme of things but the anxiety that my body is irratonally producing over them is horrible!

[quote name='squiggle' post='132486' date='Jul 23 2006, 05:41 AM']
Hi everyone,

Well, I have been a bit of a worrier all my life it's true, but 18 months ago along with other peri symptoms, I developed Health Anxiety full on. Just about every medical symptom I get, I cannot get out of my mind, and I always jump to the worst conclusion. It is sooooooooooo exhausting. I seek out the doctor, but since these days, for fear of being sued for being wrong, they cannot definitively say you have nothing serious, I continue to worry & worry. I seek out info on the internet but that just tells me about serious complications and I start to worry I will develop those too. AAargh!

I don't just worry about my health but also that of my 2 kids and my husband.

Examples:

Last Sunday my hubby developed a headache (he never gets headaches). In true male form, he went straight to bed and could barely speak saying he couldn't talk to me right now. Well of course I immediately decided he must have Meningitis and was trying to decide who to leave the kids with if I needed to go to hospital. I was trying to quiz him if he could tolerate bright light or put his chin to chest, but he wouldn't speak. All day long I worried, and that night I couldn't sleep while he snored happily away, in case he got worse. Next day, bright & breezy he said he was fine & it must have been a migraine, similar to those that he knows I get. Meanwhile I was shattered and having to deal with these wretched palps, which in themselves are terrifying. Grrr

Thursday my son fell off his bike & grazed his knee. No problem, I thought, simple graze. (Great so far!) My son limped all the way to school on Friday & I just thought he was making a fuss; he is inclined to, being 11. I sent him to swimming club on Friday evening. Well Saturday he was still limping & the graze was slightly red around the edge. I felt the fear flood through me & it had the usual effect of sending me straight to the loo. Oh no, thinks me, I should have taken him to the hospital, he should never have swum, he may have infected it (maybe one of those rare MRSA-type bugs, like that soldier recently picked up & died from, found in soil) or maybe he's fractured his kneecap, or got one of those serious footballer-type injuries that requires an operation (and that means he's bound to react to the anaesthetic & die). My husband took a quick look and said it looked pretty normal, probably just a bruise making him limp & a bit swollen. Well, needless to say I didn't stop worrying. (I spent all day on this forum yesterday to try & distract myself). This morning the redness & swelling have gone so I am no longer worried about infection. However, he says it hurts less, but it is still a bit painful to bend it fully so the fear of damage is still there for me. Logic tells me the knee is improving, but health anxiety is frightening me still.

Today, I am also worrying because my knees ache dully on the inside edge. I have had it before and this time I have had it for a week. It is not the joint - it feels more like soft tissue ache at the side. It is annoying, and the anxiety s building up.. what is it .. is it arthritis... etc etc...

This forum has helped so much by making me realise many of my symptoms are down to peri. Maybe this leg ache is another of them. But all this worry is tiring me out!!

I'm starting Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in September, hopiing this will help!!
[/quote]











='squiggle' date='Jul 23 2006, 05:41 AM' post='132486']
Hi everyone,

Well, I have been a bit of a worrier all my life it's true, but 18 months ago along with other peri symptoms, I developed Health Anxiety full on. Just about every medical symptom I get, I cannot get out of my mind, and I always jump to the worst conclusion. It is sooooooooooo exhausting. I seek out the doctor, but since these days, for fear of being sued for being wrong, they cannot definitively say you have nothing serious, I continue to worry & worry. I seek out info on the internet but that just tells me about serious complications and I start to worry I will develop those too. AAargh!

I don't just worry about my health but also that of my 2 kids and my husband.

Examples:

Last Sunday my hubby developed a headache (he never gets headaches). In true male form, he went straight to bed and could barely speak saying he couldn't talk to me right now. Well of course I immediately decided he must have Meningitis and was trying to decide who to leave the kids with if I needed to go to hospital. I was trying to quiz him if he could tolerate bright light or put his chin to chest, but he wouldn't speak. All day long I worried, and that night I couldn't sleep while he snored happily away, in case he got worse. Next day, bright & breezy he said he was fine & it must have been a migraine, similar to those that he knows I get. Meanwhile I was shattered and having to deal with these wretched palps, which in themselves are terrifying. Grrr

Thursday my son fell off his bike & grazed his knee. No problem, I thought, simple graze. (Great so far!) My son limped all the way to school on Friday & I just thought he was making a fuss; he is inclined to, being 11. I sent him to swimming club on Friday evening. Well Saturday he was still limping & the graze was slightly red around the edge. I felt the fear flood through me & it had the usual effect of sending me straight to the loo. Oh no, thinks me, I should have taken him to the hospital, he should never have swum, he may have infected it (maybe one of those rare MRSA-type bugs, like that soldier recently picked up & died from, found in soil) or maybe he's fractured his kneecap, or got one of those serious footballer-type injuries that requires an operation (and that means he's bound to react to the anaesthetic & die). My husband took a quick look and said it looked pretty normal, probably just a bruise making him limp & a bit swollen. Well, needless to say I didn't stop worrying. (I spent all day on this forum yesterday to try & distract myself). This morning the redness & swelling have gone so I am no longer worried about infection. However, he says it hurts less, but it is still a bit painful to bend it fully so the fear of damage is still there for me. Logic tells me the knee is improving, but health anxiety is frightening me still.

Today, I am also worrying because my knees ache dully on the inside edge. I have had it before and this time I have had it for a week. It is not the joint - it feels more like soft tissue ache at the side. It is annoying, and the anxiety s building up.. what is it .. is it arthritis... etc etc...

This forum has helped so much by making me realise many of my symptoms are down to peri. Maybe this leg ache is another of them. But all this worry is tiring me out!!

I'm starting Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in September, hopiing this will help!!
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Hi[font=Garamond]

I know how you feel. I worry all the time too, about everything. I'll take the smallest thing and work myself up over it. I was never like this until two years ago (I'm 49 now). I was diagnosed with Lyme disease and am also going through perimenopause. Believe it or not the symptoms are alike. I'm never sure what's what these day. All I know is that I feel horrible, worry all the time, can't sleep and everything seems wrong in my life. Every now and then I'll have a decent break from it all, but it never lasts. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that other women have the same problems. I try to look at every day as a lesson learned to get me by the next! Take care.

Health Anxiety,who me?...You bet.

I'm also currently in CBT. I have all the negative thinking patterns that were listed earlier in the post. It is possible to have them all, I am proof. Only within the past 2 years has it become very bad. Since I started getting symptoms which no one can pinpoint to any certain problem. You know, to young for peri..I am no, *sigh* 40. Blood work is good,though we know it is not accurate since levels change all day. Whatever.

CBT has helped. I know what I have, I may have for quite a while but I acknowledge the anxiety I am feeling and try not beat myself up for feeling this way. I've been taught how to change the way I react when the feelings start. It is o.k. to acknowledge that you don't like these symptoms, just make sure you stick a however in the last part of thoughts, I hate these palpitations, I wish they would go away, however or but, I know that they will stop and that they are not going to hurt me. This is how I've been taught to try to gain some control.

I worry about my hubby and kids also, but I do the same type of thinking. Yes, my older guy has a bad headache, but he has been regularly checked by his doctor, the weather is stuffy and warm today and it is between his eyes and forehead, and it is probably allergies/sinus.

Can sound sillly, but it has helped me.

squiggle,

I have to ask...what's a mossie? I've never heard that term before.

Sorry Mrs B - it's UK slang for mosquito!!

Oh,ok! I just couldn't imagine what had bit you!

Yes - I love all this background vocabulary we are all learning from round the world whilst on this forum!

Hi ladies,

I have not written in a bit as I have gone back to work (summer's over) and got a new puppy...an absolutely adorable boston terrier

But checking in every once in a while confirms my perimenopausaul madness is not all in my head....but the health anxiety is awful lately. Seems everyone is dying or being diagnosed with something awful and it's like waiting for a snipper to sneak up on you in the dark !!!!!! My kids, my hubbie and every ache and pain I have that was pooh poohed in my youth is some life threatening illness rearing it's ugly head..........lat night my daughter came to dinner and she's in med school so she wanted to look at our ears and eyes and I was freaking out that she'd find something wrong .....didn't let her near me~~~~~~~

Anyways, the puppy is jumping on me so we must go play...what a great distraction!!!!!

Hugs to all,
Momz