I'm so thankful for this site, just knowing that someone is out there that understands...

I just need to vent a little.

I've been battling depression and anxiety for the past few months. My husband and I moved to where we live now last year. He was given an early buy out (forced retirement) and we not longer had any reason to stay in that area. We felt we needed a change.

I never realized how challenging a change would be while I'm changing too!

I do office work - have for the past 20 years. I can usually get a job right away with all of the experience I have. I didn't look for work right away, have only been back in it since we moved since the end of March. I'm doing temp. work, as I' ve found in the past that is the best way to find a job by getting your foot in the door. I've gotten many a good job that way.

But this time, it's been so hard. I've been mismatched with jobs where all I did was sit all long waiting for the phone to ring. Then I was sent on a job where it was utter chaos in the offce. I actually walked off that job - have never done that in my whole working career! Now I'm on another job, closer to home, but it's so isolating and I'm treated like a temp. Some people iin my department won't even acknowlege my presence or look me in the eye or answer back when I say "good morning".

I just got back from visiting family ( asked for the time off) and I only worked 3.5 days at this job last week. I dread going back there and so I called off today. I don't know if I'll have a job tomorrow at this rate.

It's been such a challenge, this move. The church we attended had a major upheaval, and we tried to hang in there, because we grew close to many there, but it was turmoil there week after week and we just couldn't attend there any longer.

So, here I sit, at home today, feeling guilty for copping out and not going to work. I take meds for anxiety, but my perscription ran out and it hasn't been called back in yet by my doctor's office. So, I've been out of it since Thursday of last week. I admit I have a phsychological dependence on it. I feel more secure knowing I have it with me, if needed, which is another factor into not going to work today. I'm already anxious to beging with!

My wonderful husband doesn't know that I did not go in and I feel so guilty.

Thanks for your ears,
Guildgal

Guildgal: No, no, no, no! You do NOT need to feel guilty because you took ONE day for yourself...from a TEMP job where they're not treating you very nicely to begin with. Quit it, and look for another...and another and another and another. My mother went through a phase about 20 years ago (she was a bank worker) where she literally worked in 7 different offices in one year. She kept getting treated like crap, so she kept quitting. Then she'd move on to the next one. Finally, on the 8th bank, she found a place that was decent and didn't make her feel like a piece of dirt. She stayed there 15 years. You a human being. A valuable, important, worthy human being. And you have the right to be treated decently...with respect, and a 'good morning' from your co-workers. Eye contact? These people won't even make eye contact?? They sound like horrible, miserable little rats trapped in jobs they hate. And the way they're treating you reflects how they feel about themselves. We mirror to others what is going on inside. How badly do you and your hubby need your paycheck right now? If you're not desparate, I think you should just quit this assigment. There a zillion temp agencies out there. If you're a halfway decent office worker (and I'm sure you are way more than that) you can always find work. Trust me, I used to be a recruiter in the industry and it's so hard to find good people. Next time, before you get an assignment, ask what the 'corporate culture' is like. I find that companies either treat temps really well, or they act like they're sub-human. You don't need the latter. Nor do you deserve it.

Why hasn't your doctor refilled your script? Call his office and tell them your having anxiety and need your meds!

Hang in there, guildgal. And try to fight the guilty feelings. That's a negative, inner critic trying to make you feel badly about yourself. Put that critic in her place. In fact, tell her she no longer has a job inside your head! (Tell her she's fired!).

I hope you enjoy your day off, and do something relaxing and fun.

Let me know how you're doing...

Hugs,

Robin

Awww....Robin, your kind words are just what I needed to hear.

I just talked with the recruiter at the temp agency I work for and told them how I was feeling about the position I was on. I asked her what is the usual procedure when an employee is having issues at an assignment. I told her the 3 problems I was having on job were: 1. I don't know what is expected of me, as there is no job description, 2. I get no feedback on any of the projects I do complete and 3. It feels very unfriendly in the department.

I told her if these issues can be resolved, I would go back and give it another try.

I just called my doctor's office aboout my meds and it seems they only do refills on certain drugs once a week and I missed it by one day so they are looking into getting it approved and will call me back.

Thanks again for your encouragement. Hope you are having a good day.

Guildgal

guildgal, I can really relate to the issues of getting no feedback and an unfriendly feeling. I've been full time in my present job for 22 years. One of the biggest problems I always have here is a lack of appreciation from people, no matter what I do for them or how hard I work. No one says "thanks." This really bothers me, so I go and ask them if whatever I did was okay. Then they say, "Oh, yeah, it's fine." This still leaves me feeling frustrated. Sometimes I've gotten a little sarcastic. All in the name of trying to get them to just say "thanks" or "good job." But it never happens. They run right up to me immediately if anything is wrong. You never wonder if you made a mistake, because they come and tell you right away. I wish they'd be equally appreciative when I did a good job.

It's like they thrive on being negative.

So much for teamwork, too! If I'm working on a project with someone, I'm always careful to do my share and try and pull together. Sometimes I get a good partner, and together we do a good job. But sometimes I get someone who won't even talk, hardly. I'm not a real pushy person. But I get frustrated when they won't talk or won't do their part. It just seems like there has to be confrontation all the time, and there's always undercurrents of hostility.

I'm counting the days until I can retire and collect my hard-earned retirement savings.