Hello, Montessori mom here! I am in perimenopause and have been for 2 years. Dh and I have one little boy, 4.5.; we've been married 6 years, I was 36 when we got married. I had one m/c before ds, and I m/c after ds. We then decided that we didn't want to try anymore...fast forward 1 year and we tried to go for another baby again...only to find out (from my Gyn.) that I was in perimenopause.

For the MOST part I've been okay. But there are episodes like this week - I've been having a funky stomach - lots of gas or something also nausea one minute then the next minute I'll be fine. This will go on and off for a few days/week and then not return for 3-4 months. Is this also a symptom of peri? I was have anxiety attacks (not real ones) because I was thinking I could be pregnant. I know I said we tried for another, but I've resigned myself to no more children, and I'd be horrified if I got pregnant again. I'm sure I'd accept it and love the baby but the initial response would not be good!!

Anyway, I got my period for the first time in 9 months! The cramps were horrible and the depression even worse, I really do not get depressed much. I've been taking black cohosh for the last year with great success for the insomnia, irritability and hot flashes.

Also I have never felt so old as I have these past two years. The weight gain (used to be a slim 106!) is very hard to take. Sorry my first post is so whiney! Just looking to commiserate, I guess!

Hey Montessori Mum ... that's not whining! Far from it! You should read some of my posts on a bad day.

What you are going through is very real, plus 40 is pretty young to start. I am 50 and still menstruating regularly with no hot flashes or anything, just the extreme mood swings really (like PMS only worse), and a few minor physical symptoms that seem to come and go. The gassy tummy thing I don't get though, but I am sure it is all part and parcel of it.

On the plus side, at least you will be through this younger, and hopefully by the time you get to my age, it will be but a distant memory.

It sounds like you are coping really well in the circumstance, especially with a 4 year old to care for. You are well into peri - going without a period for 9 months. so hopefully the end is in sight. There is a very remote chance you could get pregnant, so you need to take care, but I am sure you already know that.

The symtoms are so different for all of us, as of course is the age of onset, but you will find every possible symptom and experience here, and lots and lots of support.

x