Add me to the list of 'off balance' sufferers.
My verbose tale:
I live in SoCal, not far from the beach, and used to take daily walks. In the spring of
'05 I started having problems with what seemed like stumbling. The first few times I
would return home, log on and check for local reports of small earthquakes as it felt
like that kind of momentary instability. In short order the walks stopped when I had
too many instances of heading out and finding myself nearly unable to get back.
Then, come the middle of summer I was experiencing 2-3 opthalmic migraines per
day after not having had a single one for many years. Color me more than a bit
concerned.

I was also having more full-blown migraines (which I've endured for
over 40 yrs). I don't have health insurance, but do have a clinic, which offers just the
very basics in care, where I've been a patient for a number of years, so made an appt...
was seen by an student/intern....given some migraine meds and sent on my way. Okay.
A few weeks later, upon returning to bed from a nightly run to the bathroom, intense
dizziness slammed me to where I had to hang onto the edge of the bed as I rode it out.
After several mins it subsided, but the reprieve was short-lived. I tried focusing on the
bedroom window and taking deep breaths, but it was as if my eyes were jerking
and any modicum of self-control was quickly slipping away. (Just last eve I was
chatting with a fellow menopauser and she recounted the exact same
phenomenon, down to the last detail, despite the fact I'd said nothing of my
experience.)
With each passing day, I became more debilitated by the sensation of the floor
heaving, needing to hold onto walls or furniture. Watching TV would sometimes
bring on dizziness if there was motion on the screen, using the computer could
trigger unbalance, the repetitive motion of knitting threw me off kilter. Anything
done standing....showering, cooking, doing dishes, etc...meant holding on with one
hand or leaning against something stationary. There were moments, seated or
standing, when I was literally knocked over. (First time that happened I was in line
at Trader Joe's and managed to catch myself before landing on my face. Would be
some time before I'd see the relationship between that seemingly isolated incident
and the escalation of symptoms.) My hand-eye coordination was all screwed up; I
felt as tho everything was causing sensory overload.
The effectiveness of my progressives was an uncertainty from day to day.
Sometimes the correction was spot on, other times I'd find myself screwing up my
eyes in a hopeless effort to see. Suffice it to say, trying to walk with them on
wreaked havoc as all it took was a quick glance thru the wrong part of the lens and
the wobbliness was made worse.
At the same time, I picked up a bad habit of walking toe-first on my right side and
taking short, wide steps while leaning forward. I imagine I looked like someone
who'd had a stroke. I, too, would list to one side, felt like I was always on a boat in
very rough waters. My legs were uncooperative, as if disconnected from brain, and
the lack of rhythm had me willing them into motion ('right foot, left foot, heel, toe,
heel, toe...').
I finally dragged myself back to the clinic, was seen by my usual MD, who did some
general questioning, neuro-type tests, checked ears (I'm prone to allergy-related
inflammation), commented on how stiff my gait was, and then, after determining
everything looked normal, proceeded to prescribe Prozac. (I've never been fond of
meds, they don't agree with me, but was so miserable I was willing to try anything. I
have to be REALLY bad to be open to the suggestion of drugs. BTW, years back I
was given the 'bipolar' diagnosis. Yeah, right...whatever.) I took the Pr for a few
weeks...which did nothing... and was so disabled by the dizziness and lack of
balance, there was no way to return to the clinic to report my status. (Bear in mind,
more times than not, visits to the clinic have proven to be a waste of time so I've
learned to ride out whatever's ailing me and save myself the aggravation.)
I'd only perused bits and pieces of P-S in the past but had seen several mentions of
dizziness et al being the most disabling symptom of meno. At the time, I recall
thinking 'Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not dealing with that!!!' Unfortunately, it wasn't long
before I was scoping out posts about dizziness, as well as poor balance, wobbly
walking, etc. I also DL'd info on exercises for vertigo and balance. The P-S posts
confirmed my frustrations and the exercises were a godsend. My first exercise
attempts made it obvious how incapable I was of doing even the simplest
movements w/o faltering. Having dealt with episodes of panic and extreme anxiety
for decades...and having prided myself at having fairly good control over
them...they were rearing up again as I confronted 're-learning' how to walk, feeling
grounded (or some semblence thereof) and fearing 'what if this doesn't get better?'
In the beginning, something as seemingly simple as trying to walk while moving
one's head up/down, side-to-side, was downright impossible. Altho I've not
consumed alcohol in many years, had I been stopped by the police, given how
wobbly I was they'd surely have conducted a field sobriety test (...which I'd have
promptly failed).
Over the weeks things slowly improved but occasionally things would flare up
again. During the worst of it, I learned the fine art of eating the bare minimum
because, being I live alone, I wasn't sure where/when the next purchase of
groceries might be. (Called it my 'dizziness diet'!) While a brother was in town on
business, we spent our time together having him drive me to the grocery store (and
my being thankful I had someone's arm to hold onto). The only time I ventured out
on my own to shop, or to get the mail, was at night....altho I usually avoid night
driving....because I was less apt to run into others and there was something calming
about being cloaked in darkness. (Altho, oddly, driving never triggered any
sensations of dizziness.) With any luck, someone would've left a cart in the lot so I
could use that for stability. An acquaintance picked up a small folding cart for me so
that I could bring things up from my car in the underground garage as there was no
way I could haul bags of groceries walking unassisted. Luckily, another neighbor
loaned me an old cane which became a lifesaver. (I've since purchased a folding
one so I can toss it in my tote when I'm feeling steadier.) I never paid much attn to
cane users in the past...they now feel like kindred spirits.
I endured one episode of trying to get to my car in the garage (pre cart/cane days)
while two retired, male neighbors...whose obnoxious demeanors leave much to be
desired even on a good day...laughed and made snide comments watching me
struggle to get to my car. I had NO intention of being victim to that again.
Callagain's comment "I felt like if I died, I would not have noticed..." speaks to
exactly how I felt. And to expound, I truly don't think I'd have cared.
In recent weeks, a few hot flashes have returned while the walking has improved.
(The flashes are a breeze compared to the mobility issues.) The nocturnal bathroom
trips have abated for the most part and I've enjoyed full night's of sleep for the first
time in years. The more rested I am, the calmer I feel and the result is a better
sense of balance. I've even been able to resume the wearing of my fave clogs.
(Bare feet, or socks, at most, were mandatory during the worst of the dizziness so I
could feel connected to the ground.) The morning exercise and stretch sessions,
which I'd done for years but had to abandon when the earth was moving under my
feet, are now feasible again. Some days it's almost as if someone has flipped a
switch. Try as I might to NOT think about being unsteady, the sensations were so
overwhelming it felt all-consuming. I'd learned many tricks over the years on how to
shift one's focus, use distraction, etc but telling myself to STOP obsessing on the
inability to walk correctly wasn't working. The effort to traverse an open space
would leave me holding my breath and shaking. Focusing to stay upright while
moving from point A to point B, took every ounce of energy.
The bone-crushing fatigue, which I've dealt with on and off for what seems like
years, hasn't been as bothersome the last few weeks. Being virtually housebound
has compounded the depression that the daily treks helped to address (along with
the fatigue). Unfortunately, I've been missing out on some breathtakingly beautiful
days to be out pounding the pavement but I'm nowhere near venturing out for the
walks, cane or no cane, but I'm hoping that day will come sooner rather than later.
The long period of inactivity has me feeling antsy. My worst enemy, as regards the
wobbliness, seems to be the anticipatory anxiety that flares at the prospect of
walking unassisted. (Hmmmm.... Perhaps the Prozac *might* have helped alleviate
some of the angst and helped produce a calmer state, thereby preventing the
escalation of the fear factor.) However, I AM feeling more encouraged when I move
around my apt without being conscious of having to hold onto things at every turn
and, with fingers crossed, hoping the worst is behind me.
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Apologies for the funky line wraps in my lengthy post. (The preview didn't show any problems when I C&P'd.) I'd correct them if I had the edit option avail to me.
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