Why is it that when you can not explain how you feel or make sense of what is happening to you, your friends and some doctors say you need a Physiatrist? I am so tired of being told that my GYN does not know how to prescribe meds for anxiety. I am currently on BCP and Wellbrutin and they have taken some of edge off of me. However I have been told that I need to get all my problems out in the open and see a Physiatrist. I have but one Problem PERI-MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am certain that the anxiety, sleepiness nights, tremors, and now itching are all due to PERI!!! The friends who tell me this are all on HRT and have been on it for more than 10 years. That is why they do not feel the symptoms I do. I know that I am not crazy and I know what I feel and I don’t need to tell total strangers about it.

How many of you have had this experience with friends or doctors.

Sorry ladies for venting I had a bad night!

Love you Girls
Angel 1

Angel I just replied to your post about itchy ankles and feet.

I do know that when I asked my Mother about Peri,she just looked at me like I was crazy and told me all she ever had was hot flashes,but I can remember when i was young how she used to change her mood from happy to Linda Blair at the drop of a pen,but she says that had nothing to do with it. I believe it was a sign and she probably did have more of them,but I don`t think that people back then really knew that much about Peri and alot of women probably never really talked about what they call "The Change"....

That`s why I come here...We are not crazy these things are really happening to us and for good reasons. Our body is going through so much right now...So,just hang in there and you are definetely not going crazy...

You can vent to us anytime...and I am sorry that you had a bad night...
I am having a bad morning,it started out great now for some reason I have really bad anxiety...*sighs*

When will it all end?????

(((Hugs)))
Christina

Has your GYN tried different strengths or brands of BCP, I know some are not as well-tolerated as others depending on what your body needs. It seems like once the cause of the symptoms are treated correctly (the hormone imbalance) you should notice a big improvement in how you feel.

Thanks girls for the words of encouragement.

Christina I am so sorry you had a bad morning. It is horrible to start that way. I also had a bad morning but getting to work usually takes it away. I know what you mean about "The Change" all they ever talked about was hot flashes. I do agree that they had other symptons as well.

We will make it.

Angel 1

I know how you feel,I'm new to this and have been having these hot flashes and night sweats since January.A few days ago my mood has been really down and I have been having these crying times and just can't stop.I went to the doctors today and he said I was just depressed and gave me meds for that, nothing about being in peri-menopause, I also feel like i'm going crazy !!!!!!!

Love this site and all your help, thanks cathym

Angel, I had a friend tell me she thinks I need to be "on medication." That really hurt me and angered me! It is difficult when friends don't understand, or don't trust that we know what is going on with our own bodies, or don't think we are capable of making our own health care decisions. I bet your friends on HRT will be in for a rude awakening when they go off!

cathym, isn't that just like a doctor, to hand out meds like candy! It's just their way of "fixing" us when they don't know what else to do. Thank goodness for PS, which helps us educate ourselves and find support from other women going through the peri stuff!

(((Angel1))) this is the big secret why women do not talk about peri-meno. For the longest time I could not figure it out. I don't share my thoughts with anyone ANYMORE whom does not understand! There are a few >of course you guys! my daughter and husband and it's still up in the air how much to tell the doctors.

Oh my gosh, I couldn't agree more. I had the same thing happen to me with my OB. Here take these meds and maybe you need to talk to someone. Well, ever since I have been on the natural progesterone cream, I have been almost myself again. I still get symptoms of anxiety but nothing like before. I think we do know our own bodies and do know what is going on. No one really understands unless you are going through it. I don't tell anyone except for my husband and my son.

Mopsy

When I learned about peri, I thought I should tell my friends about it so they would know what to expect when it happens to them. But after my one friend told me she thought I need to be on medication, I have reconsidered the wisdom of talking about peri. I don't want to be judged by others who don't understand peri! But I also think it is sad that just because some idiots who don't understand peri say things to us that hurt our feelings, we might not want to talk about peri with anyone, and another generation of women will be clueless when they hit peri. That doesn't seem right. What to do...

I went through depression 10 years ago and if you tell people that you have depression they react the same way as they do to find out you have peri. I got almost to the point where I didn't care what they thought. There are lots of other people who need and appreciate hearing what we have been through. If I can help just one person through my experiences it makes it at least a little less senseless.

Hi Everyone or Anyone
I am very new to this But I need to talk to someone so I know if I am horrible or this is part and parcel to all the symptems.
I am 46 I had my first child at 40 She is the love of our life, I have a great husband as well.
Any way why I am writing yesterday I totally FREAKED on my little one. She did nothing I had a (Let's call it a Moment) like this about a year ago that was bad. They don't last long but they happen so fast.
I do not harm her I just flip out, I am trying to hold back tears as I talk about it now.
I don't want to scare my daughter for life how do you explain all this crap we go through to a 6 year old.
I even said "right now I just want to put My head through a window"
After I freaked I took her in my arms crying (Both of us) and I said Baby mommy is so sorry I love you so very much and I am not mad at you this is something I can not control.
Things are fine now I just don't want her to be frighten of me am I saying the right thing to her ? she will not understand hormone stuff I guess I just hve to keep telling it is not Her or Daddy it is just something that happens to mommy every once in a while.
I am rambeling , I am sad and my period is due very soon I can tell!
I am I the only one this happens too because if I am I am very Very Scared of damaging my Daughters life.

2scared2no...

No you are not the only one that this is happening to. I used to get that way in the beginning something even something very small would trigger these outbursts of anger in me and I would just totally freak out on usually the ones closest to me and that would be my 10yr.old daughter and boyfriend. I don`t know how many times I cried and apologized to my daughter about being so crabby and irritable.

I couldn`t understand what was happening to me. It doesn`t help that sometime my daughter`s halo is being held up by her horns...lol..Ok,I hope that wasn`t a terrible joke.

But,anyway you ARE NOT ALONE!!!....Until I found this site I thought I was completely alone but I am not...soooo many other women here have experienced similar situations like you. Maybe you should call your Doctor and set up an Appt. to go and talk and explain your situation and see what they suggest. But,in all honesty it does sound to me like Peri is the problem. Don`t ever be afraid to come in here and vent...I do it all the time.

Now that I found this site I seem much more in control of my emotions anymore and know that some things are caused by my Peri and have learned how to deal with my crabbiness and depression alot better these days. Stay strong!!

We are all here for you....
(((Hugs)))
Christina

Hi all

As happens so often on this site - I had a feeling of deja vu when I read the posts in this topic started by Angel - and also had the feeling I could have written most of them myself!! So good so share with people who KNOW you are not crazy and who LISTEN when you tell them it is peri!!!!

I have been through the psychy side of the NHS for a bit - got to see them in a month - as much help as hedgehog in a condom factory....

I have been close to dishing out a quite few knuckle sandwiches to various medics who sit in front of me offering me ADs and advice to go home and relax. I just hate being the victim here - I feel so disempowered by the system and the way I am spoken to - grrrrrrrrrrrr (feels better already!!!). Powersurge has enabled me to go to the Drs armed with facts - and they (the Drs) really dont like it one bit -bless them. 'So this is peri-menopause' I say (I have been saying this for a year - but their hearing aids dont work) - 'Oh - er - well let's not rule anything out - lets wait and see how you are in a month....'...what am I paying for?????

I dont need no medication
I dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the consulting room
Hey Dr - leave those peri women alone

Mele

Thank you So VERRRY MUCH
I am crying now
But I do feel better knowing I am not the first or the last to do this.
I did talk to my Doctor about it the first time It happened, HE dos'nt think I am going through pre- meno
I know my body and I know I am .
He thinks tat if my periods are still regular it is not that LOL
Soon as I start my period I feel fine again, Mood swings happen just before that time.
Is your Daughter Stable LOL or is she now all messed up.
Thanks a Bunch
Wendy

My doctor doesn't think I am in peri either but i have almost all the symptoms and my period is sort of normal but I do skip months too. I guess that is normal in his book. Anyway, I too get horribly grouchy right around my period. I never used to either. I never had pms before I hit peri. My 15 year old son doesn't understand at all but I did have a good talk to him about what was going on. He was embarresd but I think it has helped him know when I get that way not to worry.

I give up on my doctors and will go to them for my annual visits etc. But, I won't talk about peri to them anymore. There is no point as they just don't get it.

This site is a God send and I feel so much better after being on here for almost a year.

Mopsy

Hi Wendy

Welcome to Powersurge - I do hope you are feeling a bit better now

I am 45 and peri (not currently having periods) - I had to insist I had hormone tests at my Drs - and even now a year later they are still scrabbling around wondering if anything else could be wrong with me!! My symptoms are rotten but every one - however weird - has been experienced by women on this site. I felt very scrared and alone - I still do at times - BUT - this site has helped me more than I can say - there is so little support through conventional channels here in the UK which can compare to this.

Venting off, sharing weird symptoms (which you think no-one will understand), telling people about your deepest fears - you can do this here - and it really helps. I have had the weirdest symptoms - I thought I was going crazy or going to die!!! I have had panic attacks, tears, palpitations, headaches, tremors - you name it - I have it!!! And there is always someone to share with who understands

I can only echo what Christina says - YOU ARE NOT ALONE NOW - and her advice to see you Dr - empowered by what you can find out here - is sound. You can start to understand what is going on in your body - it takes time but it helps.

WE are here to be vented at - you will find that in time you are the one dishing out advice to scared newbies!!!

Love and hugs from a perigirl the UK

Mele

Thanks Mopsy
So you have a Male Doctor too>
I like my Doctor but your right I feel they just don't get it.
Thanks for all your suport .
It must be hard trying to explain it to a boy, My husband has a hard time understanding it
But I must say he is Very understanding and he is trying to help me to explain it to our 6 year old daughter that mommy is not crazzy LOL
Funny I can laugh now but yesterday it was so different !
Thanks again everyone
Wendy


Mele
Thank you also
You all have been so kind
I really do feel better now .
When my daughter gets home from school today I will give her an extra Hug
AND PRAY this will not be as bad for her LOL
Thanks so much all
Wendy:)

Wendy, if every parent that momentarily lost it with their child at one time or another was peri, then a lot of men I know would be starting menopause as well. I am now 49, and wish I could say that I never had those moments when my daughter was growing up. She is 25 years old now with 2 children of her own, and she gets that way from time to time with my grand kids. In her case it is called PMS, in your case it may be Peri. Either way, as long as you are aware of your emotions, and your daughter was not physically or mentally harmed, I would call you normal. The fact that you feel guilty over the episode, and the fact that you followed-up by hugging your daughter and reassuring her that you love her tells me you are a very loving and caring mother. Try not to beat yourself up too much.

Wendy, Welcome to PS!
Oh Honey you are not alone! Let me tell you a secret DOCTORS ARE FREAKING IDIOTS when it comes to peri menopause!
My rages are over and now I cry, yep cry cry cry like a baby! My kids are grown, but my little dogs used to run and hide under the bed, omg I would never hurt them but it frighten them so much, they just didn't understand what was going on! Poor little things, now they try so hard to comfort me... Oh how I wish my Mother was alive, I would give anything for her to be here now and tell me everything was going to be ok! I remember how she comfort me through puberty, when I was overwhelmed with heavy bleeding and cramps! She would set by my bed and tell me stories and bring me special treats.
Wendy don't beat yourself over this to much, kids are so forgiving!

Wendy,

I can really relate to your post! I have a seven year old boy and I am constantly trying to explain Mommy's moods to him. I also have 18 and 17 year old daughters. I was telling them one day that I had cramps and my little boy said "Oh No!" Sometimes I look at him and feel like crying because he didn't know me before all of this stuff. I comfort myself in thinking that maybe when he is grown he will be sensitive to his wife's hormonal problems after going through it with his mom. Either that or he will remain single for life.

Hi Wendy

Blimey it's bad enough going through peri with no kids so I really feel for you ladies who have them !!

I only have my partner to be horrible to but he's big enough to take it !!

Anyway don't forget you are not alone we are all in the same boat , maybe in different ways , but we are all here for you .

I'm with ya sista;) I am sick of my doc suggesting therapy. I don't need no stinkin' therapy. I need to feel normal again!!! I was on Wellbutrin for a bit, but it made me feel lousy. Every side effect, I had it. I feel like a maniac in traffic and in Houston, there is no such thing as driving when there isn't any traffic. I am just waiting for the day that some dumb SOB actually stops for me to beat him up, he may kill me but at least I will be outta my hormonal hell. See, I am nuts too:D

hey darob, It's kind of silly what we feel and what we have to go through isn't it?We are all nuts at some time or other. The only thing I can say is hang in there...Things will certainly get better because I really don't know how they could get worst. Isn't this fun ??? NOT !!!!! lol

Mopsy,

Just a quick question for you. What brand of progesterone cream do you use?? I have been wondering what to buy. Do you get it at the drug store without a prescription?

Thanks
Susie

I thought that if I went to a FEMALE OB/GYN that she would actually understand. NO. She suggested I see a psychiatrist for the anxiety. She said there has to be some underlying cause for it. She did a uterine tissue sample, blood test, and urine sample. Everything came back normal. 'Cept I'm apparently crazy now.

When I started having peri issue almost 4 yrs ago, I just turned 40. I was having horrible bouts of my heart racing followed by intense feelings of heat (now I know it was hot flashes but back then it was horribly scary), terrible anxiety, insomnia, etc.. I was back and forth to my family doctor, made 2 trips to the ER, and they sugggested I see an endocrinologist.

Well, he did all types of tests for rare conditions and wasn't even going to test my hormones, until I suggested it (thought I was too young for that!). After all the tests came back normal, he told me I should see a Psychiatrist. He made me feel terrible. I knew something physical was going on but he just wanted to write me off as crazy. I finally went to my OBGYN who said all my symptoms were probably due to hormones. He then requested my hormone test results from the other doctor (who told me they were fine). My OBGYN reviewed the results and said that both my estrogen and progesterone were extremely low and it was no wonder I was suffering with hot flashes. I went on a low dose pill, and everything but the anxiety went away.

Sorry this post is so long, but I still get angry when I think of how that doctor made me feel. I am lucky I have a great OBGYN that I trust - he has helped me keep faith in doctors.

I may be a little crazy - but who isn't? The only difference is - I am not afraid to admit it!

I hope you all have a peaceful day!

Mauras

I thought I was in the pits of despair but having read the drama of children/meno, I guess it's a positive slant for me. My girls are grown and having children of their own so am only involving them peripherally. Fortunately for me, I have a new partner of 3 years, and have apologised for the bad deal he's getting. Since knowing him I have been at rock bottom, two afraid to do grocery shopping. and the heights of happiness, spending time enjoying our newness. Unfortunately I am not quite rock bottom but it feels like I'm heading that way. Went to GP and was desperate enough to ask for HRT, it feels like that or die, and sleeping pills to get my sleeping pattern in order. My partner is there for me but I can tell he really doesn't understand and his patience is a little thin. He thinks one good night's sleep will fix me up. I hit upon this site today and am so pleased to have somewhere to vent. It makes a change from crying into my pillow and trying to get my act together. I wish he had a more in depth understanding of what I'm going through. I think sometimes it would be kinder to leave and exist on my own so I'm not contaminated others. Then I feel so sad at the thought of my loneliness. I don't know what to do......

I just gotta put a plug in for psychiatrists, even though many of you are reluctant to try one. My Obgyn doesn't get it, my PCP doesn't get it, and my husband doesn't get it. They all tell me to see my psychiatrist, who DOES GET IT. When I visit him, he doesn't psycho-analyze me. He does explain, in detail, what is going on with my brain during meno and what we're going to do to make this better for me. He is very reassuring and totally understands my desperation to return back to the way I was before all of this. He is very good at knowing how to administer anti-anxiety medications and is very careful to monitor how I am doing by encouraging me to call whenever I feel something is not right with the meds I am taking. I think that finding a good psychiatrist is like finding any good doctor, it takes patience and resourcefulness, but once you get a good one who understands the chemical changes during menopause, you're on the right track to feeling better. So ladies, don't be afraid of trying one. You may not get the right one off the bat...but persistence pays off. I'm very resourceful and will push as many buttons as necessary to get relief. Although I'm not there quite yet, I'm getting there and I feel I have a medical expert who really understands what is going on inside of me. Just my two cents.

I agree. My counselor is wonderful, and has been a huge help in so many areas of my life. The holy hell of menopause is just one part of it, which of course colors so many relationships, etc.

I can't say enough good things about her!

My depression was so severe, it wasn't an issue of just feeling "off." We have to determine for ourselves whether or not we need extra help.

Feel for all of you going thru' this!

JJ

I'm new here.

Having been thrown into menopause with chemo..I'm a nutcase!

I don't think I need pills, but I'm definitely going crazy. Some days I can't deal with anything at all. I worry about the cancer coming back, about all my other health issues, I get obsessed about it all and start googling all over the place, I honked at every driver on the road today because I was afraid they were going to hit me...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Anyone else have days like that?

Snowmoon and other Ladies-

Snow, I identify with your feeling about doctors. I've been on the merry go round and I just sit and cry about how bad I feel. I cannot get relief anywhere.

I feel like you do about your mother- I wish my mother was alive because you feel your mother is the one person in the world that cares enough to "make things right". I'm sure the reality if very different if your mother is alive, but if she's gone, you somehow feel maybe she could make it right.

I lost my mother as a child, and I can tell you I never felt I needed her more than now. I was always pretty independent and didn't feel I needed anyone.

Now I feel more childlike than when I was a child - I just want someone to make things right again. I know how you feel

Lidge26,

I am so sorry you lost your mother at such a young age, my Mom is 74 years old and had a hard time during menopause though I was in college for most of it. She use to get very bad migraines and frequent headaches, she reassures me that ll will pass and things will get better.

I really do thing our hormones will settle, do hang-in-there and God bless.

Pliumeria

You are so aware of what is wrong with you even though most doctors ignore your symptoms. My wife is in perimenopause and has severe emotional and physical symptoms. She is in total denial as to what is happening to her. Why are some women so afraid to face this stage of life and admit that it may be hormornal? Is it simply scary to admit to getting closer to death or is it our youth oriented culture? Is it a personality type that simply has to be in control and denial is in full swing? What is most ironic about my situation is that my wife is an Ob/Gyn.