Hi everyone, I just found this forum and I"m really glad.

For the past year, I have thought I was going insane. I've been depressed and irritable. My periods come anywhere from a week early to a week late, and they last 8-10 days. I'm always freezing cold. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. PMS seems to be worse and last longer than usual. I feel tense a lot. I'm tired a lot. My husband and I used to have sex every day. Almost overnight, my sex drive vanished. Even when I *am* into it, I have trouble with lubrication.

Nothing in my life has changed significantly in the past year. I've been to several doctors who have tested everything--iron levels, thyroid, hormones, you name it. The verdict is always that i"m completely and utterly normal in every way. The picture of health.

I searched around on all these symptoms and they all seem to match up with perimenopause. I thought I was too young, though. Then I talked to my mom and my sister and they both said they went through menopause at 42. And my sister had the same exact experience that I'm having now.

I was on antidepressants for a while, but they stopped working and I don't really want to be on them long-term. My doctor has no helpful suggestions beyond that (and taking the pill to regulate periods, but I don't care if my periods are irregular). My husband and my friends seem to be pressuring me to "fix" whatever is "wrong" with me, but I'm starting to wonder if this is just normal and rather than beating my head against the wall trying to fix myself, I should learn how to cope with the changes.

Anyway, I thought I'd post my story here and see what you all think. I want to stop feeling so lousy all the time. It's hard on my marriage and hard on my job and hard on my parenting and hard on my friendships. Sometimes I think I'm going completely insane. My doctors make me feel like this is all in my head, so that doesn't help.

Hey Redgirl...WELCOME!
I was in my mid 30's when peri first came knocking on the door! ha! I actually could have written your post... I had my tubes tied when I was 30 and it seems that a gal can start peri symptoms within a few years after that. I also had a hyster when I was 38..even tho I still have my ovaries, any thing that cuts down the blood flow to the ovaries will start peri symptoms.
I'm not sure what your case is here..if either of these apply. There is such a thing as early menopause.
Just know..you are not insane!!! You'll find alot of us here with the same story. The only advice I can offer is...to read and study up on it. Be educated. If your'e lucky you'll find a dr. along the way who will offer HRT...or some other nonHRT solution.
June

I too could have written this post. At 36 I started to have Peri symptoms and now I'm going on 38yrs and it seems I'm there (so to speak). It's funny because my periods don't seem to STOP! I had to go on the pill to get some structure back into my sex life. Actually it's only been one month and I've had break through bleeding but I can tell things are getting "under control." There are new procedures out there that are less invasive and take very little time that can relieve the period problems. I'm trying the pill first.

Anywho, you aren't crazy or anything. I have a very sweet OB/GYN and he's a stitch! He's pretty much formed a plan for me and any doc worth anything should do this for us women who seem to always have something going on with our complex bods! I take Prozac too so I guess I'm doing the traditional medical thing. Whatever works.

I did just order all the Soy products advertised here and I'm very excited to see what those are like. I'm trying to look at this whole experience as a new and interesting stage in my life, it's not easy. So I feel for you and hope you find a plan that will bring some relief and help out hour Hubby too.

Hi,
I will be 39 next mo. and just now the DR's are aknowledging that my hormones are to blame for how I feel. As I look back, I started to have problems in my early 30's that I can see now were all part of this peri thing...I went through numerous tests, echo, stress, thryroid, holter monitor, blood work, MRI and all kept coming back normal. Then , however I was baffled and thought I am a hypochondriac. My dR's wouldn't listen and wanted to put me on every anti deppresant they made and anti-anxiety meds.My natural lubrication disappeared, I had palp's, I was anxious, tired, pms was almost constant through the mo. My periods are still like clock work on the day in which it comes, but I went from 4 yrs. ago having periods that started and flowed for 5 days stopped for 2 flowed again for 1 stopped for 1 flowed again until about 10 -12 days passed ...then I started bleeding really heavy to the point where I had to throw many of my pants away to now where I bleed about 2 days it stops and I spot for another 2 or 3. My mom was also 44 when she had her last cycle and I have read that we usually follow their lead sooooo if that is the case and we can have peri up to 10 or so yrs. before there is a good chance that is what it is.
Invite your husband to look at this site and work with you to feel better. I have learned that everything that suited me 10 yrs. ago certainly does not siut me through this stage of my life. I wish I would have known what it was sooner I could have and would have been more persistant with lifestyle changes to help myself. Only till I had about every symptom there was to have all mo. long did my husband and I research and realize what was happening and then put into action some lifestyle changes and they work with commitment. I feel better, however I realize I still will have bad days. this a very encouraging place so welcome and hugs to you..we all need them. Mikki

Thanks to all of you who responded. I'm so glad I found this community! (I think I already said that, huh?) One thing I'm seeing in all my reading is that my experience with doctors is pretty normal. The two I have seen seem to refuse to think this could be perimenopause and just want to prescribe me drugs and get me out of the office. I'm not opposed to taking drugs if they are the best course of action but no one seems to be willing to sit down and really talk about all the potential courses of action. They keep saying, "I don't know what the problem is, why don't I prescribe you some antidepressants?" which isn't very reassuring.

I need to find a new doctor, because I'm not happy with my current one at all.

One question I have is about blood hormone tests. My doctor (and the GYN she sent me to) did blood hormone tests on me and said everything falls in the normal range, therefore this can't be hormonal. Some of the information I have seen on the Web, however, says that hormone tests are not a reliable indicator of perimenopause, because they fluctuate throughout the month. Does anyone know anything about this? My doctor said she can't give me any kind of hormone therapy because my hormone levels are normal. Is that true? (I know you are not doctors, I'm just curious what other people's doctors have told them.)

Hi redgirl,

I had the bloodwork done also, and guess what it is in the normal range. Okay what ever, I am ready to wash my hands of all doctors. I am thinking about changing doctors, all they keep giving me are anxiety pills.

Get to know your new body, sometimes it is hard, it seems to change from day to day. Anyway, keep up your chin, and make sure to get symptoms checked. Once the test comes back normal, then you will have piece of mind.

This is a great site, read all you can, it has saved me from being put away

Keep in touch, it really does help. And by the way you aren't to young, I turned 40 and all the major things started. Don't you hate being cold!!

Be true, Is

My NEW Dr. , a gyn. said there is no point in checking my hormones because what it may say now may not be the case in 5 hr's. She said your symptom list is a more reliable factor...some peri symptoms are questionable( such as fatigue, palp's, headaches, dizziness and so on) while others are absolutely from fluctuating hormones. What my Dr. did was she took the symptoms that were questionable and ruled other possible causes. I think they still try to medicate though, even though my husband and I were very clear as to how I wanted to proceed with a natural approach she still brought up BCP and anti-depressants. Mikki

Sounds like Peri to me, right girls ? I'm no expert, but I know how I felt way back then and how I feel now.

Funny how they give us AD's for a hormones ? I guess that's why I dont' take AD's.

Hang in there, it's a rough ride, your not going insane ( that's what everyone on PS tells me ) and you have us to talk to you, anytime and all the time


Hugs,

Moozie

P.S. tell them it's not something you can just " fix "

Redgirl,

I am 33 and this began for me a year and a half ago. Ditto, ditto, ditto to all of your symptoms. I am trying to reach out to everyone on this site that I see going through this at such a relatively young age because it is FRIGHTENING!!!!

Re: hormone levels. What I have learned: my estradiol levels are never above 67 at ANY point in my cycle, usually around an average of 50 over a course of 4 months of testing and while this is "technically" normal, it is definitely LOW for someone my (and your) age. Read Dr. Elizabeth Vliet's book "Screaming to Be Heard." My FSH fluctuates from menopausal range one month to completely normal the next. Hormones fluctuate. Don't believe it when they tell you everything is normal.

This is a great site. I spend way too much time at work going on this site but it is a godsend for information. After going through 18 months of every test, scan, holter monitor, EKG, etc imaginable, I was at my wit's end. I have truly thought I was going insane. I have gone from an energetic, competent young working mother and wife to someone who sometimes can barely get through a day. But, I am trying to learn ways to cope because I love my life and want to live it. I hope you can do the same!!

I am trying BCP's right now and not having a lot of success yet, but I will persevere. I really wanted to stay away from BCP's but I am very concerned about the effects of low estrogen on my heart and bones at such a young age, so I am trying this for a while.

Good luck and hang in there!

Hey redgirl, just caught your post and remembered a very helpful news article that answers your question perfectly.

Cycle Changes Predict Transition to Menopause
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,150875,00.html

I am also 35 and have been going through this for about 15 months. Mine started with anxiety. Then headaches. Then another panic attack 4 months later...which started this heck I call perimenopause!!!

I have been to dr's neurologist endocrinologist and everyone just says, take this pill...you're fine. today im getting ready to start my period and i feel like i'm having a stroke.

my head hurts on one side and i feel tingly and numb. i can trace back the last time i felt this way...right before my period last month...could it be hormones?? NO surely not!!!

oh well, enough of my sarcasm...im really a happy person when i feel good!!!

Love you all!! You've been more help than you could possibly know!!!

"I am 33 and this began for me a year and a half ago. Ditto, ditto, ditto to all of your symptoms. I am trying to reach out to everyone on this site that I see going through this at such a relatively young age because it is FRIGHTENING!!!!"

It definitely is frightening. I'm sorry this is happening to you so young, but I'm glad you found this site!

I don't feel so insane now after reading how many people have gone to doctors and been told they are totally normal, when things are so obviously changing. I also thought it odd that my doctor told me, "We can't give you hormones because your hormone levels are normal" and then suggested I go on BCP to regulate my periods. Um, those ARE hormones. Maybe I can't do standard HRT, but birth control does put hormones in your body.

I'm a newbie and too have most of the typical symptoms of peri. I'm 36. My symptoms started after I stopped breastfeeding my daughter, about 6 years ago. With out-of-the-blue EXTREME hot flashes with daytime sweats and then heavy, painful and long periods. I have had problems with brain fog, memory, tender breast, mood swings, etc. Then I've had problems with endo, fibroids and ovarian cysts that we're painful for about 2+ years. My endo/cyst pain was relieved with a Lupron shot, that I had only once. Since then (about 1-2 yrs) In the past year or so I have experienced breast enlargement to 34ddd from a c/d, middle body wt. gain and NO libido, bad vag. dryness and the list goes on! I still can't believe the way us women are treated at the doctors office, like were all insane! I'm currently on my fourth doctor, that had finally agreed to do hormone testing last Monday, after I broke down crying and explained all my symptoms... it was so hard and embarrassing! Then I had to fully inform my husband of my full libido problem, etc. Thank God my husband seems to finally get my moods, (it took him 6 years) and is extremely supportive and encouraging. It's funny my 4 kids recognize my moods pretty well, and they "deal" with me great especially when I warn them of my symptoms... I figured it was better to warn them that I don't feel well with hot flashes or moodiness, so they wouldn't think I was mad at them or something. None of my family or friends are currently going through this at my age, so I really don't have anyone else to talk or discuss this stuff with...I'm so glad to have found this site! Sorry to have such a long first post. My doctor appointment is Thursday to find out my hormone and other blood tests. This is one doctor visit that I'd like to hear that I wasn't normal and could possibly get some help or at least great advice on how to feel more alive and happy inside again. Thanks for reading and listening!

Hey there! I am a newbie to this board and after reading for weeks and going crazy, I finally decided to post and share my story and see what you all think! I am 36 and for the past year or so have been getting very strange. My period cycle used to be 28 days, now its down to 26. But it does come on the 26th day exactly, but with really heavy bleeding for the first two days. This past period I actually had cramping which I havent had since I was really young! I get the anxiety, it used to be bad about 14 days before my period, I would get the thoughts of something happening to the kids, real bad vivid stuff playing like a movie in my head. Latley, that seems to be happening more often, along with being afraid all the time. And the bouts of crying- yesterday I sat here on the computer and cried the whole time I was playing solitaire! Why!? I dont know! What a nut! My sex life is gone (well it was low to begin with, now its gone) and I dont seem to lubricate like I used too, where if I am in the mood- it will hurt to have it. I am about to go to another OBGYN as all my past Doctors chalk it up as an anxiety disorder. I also seem to be getting lightheadness alot when I stand up after sitting or laying down, will sometimes be in a store and things start to move on me for a few seconds as if I am losing my balance or something. The heart palps are always there, as for Hot Flashes, I gotten a few, I will tend to feel it in my cheeks and my head feels like its on fire- but those last a few seconds. I do get the feeling hot during the night where I have to take off the sheets on me and push my hubby far away as I dont want anything near me to make me feel even hotter- those will last for a few minutes, then all of a sudden I am freezing cold and shivering to where now I have my hubby hold me closer to get his body warmth too! This is nuts! Am I going insane, sometimes I wonder if my kids will have to visit mommy in the "special room"! Thaks for any support!

.

I'm so glad I read your comments! I have a friend who is trying to "fix" me. (You can read about it in the "Friends 2" thread under "Relationships at Midlife.") Even though I KNOW that this is peri, my mind is tricking me into thinking maybe she's right, maybe there's something wrong with me.

I'm sure it's hard for other people to deal with the changes in us. And it's hard for us to accept these changes in ourselves. We are not the women we used to be. And we need reassurance that this is okay, and that one day we will feel more like our old self when this is all over.

Just reading and reading here helps remind me that I am in peri, and that other women are feeling exactly the same things I am. This is a normal stage of life that every woman in the world goes through. I am not alone! I am not crazy! (Must repeat to get it to sink in.)


nutijane, your symptoms certainly do sound like typical peri symptoms. You are not crazy!

Don't listen to doctors who don't know what they are talking about. I think doctors believe that ALL women need anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds, because they don't understand us and they don't understand peri! They may help some women, but the cause of the anxiety and other stuff is fluxuating hormones.

If you google "North American Menopause Society" you will find their web site, which has lists of menopause clinicians (doctors or nurse practitioners). Maybe that will help you find one in your area who specializes in menopause and who will be of help to you.

Me too, will be 36 soon and feel the same. My period was over 10 days this month and then the heart papls started again, I hate this feeling!!!!!!!!

Wow,

This all rings so true to me........ about 10 years ago.

Someone else (in another forum on PS) pointed me to the Premature Menopause Book (Note to Dearest -- would you add this to your book list? It is the BEST ever book for women in early /premature menopause!! for women under 40 and perhaps even under 45.) Early/premature menopause without proper care and treatment does raise one's risk of cardiovascular disesase as well as osteoporosis. (There are studies by the National Instututes of Health on this for young women in premature/early menopause.) Proper treatment usually means HRT (my preference is bioidentical -- I use a patch and compounded progesterone.) When younger women's ovaries "fail" they don't produce the low levels of estrogen and testosterone that a "normal-age" post-menopausal women's ovaries and body still produce. It really is "apples versus oranges."

Perimeno in your 30's is not normal and needs to be treated as such. If you are going through this in your 20's or 30's (or even early 40's) you DO very much need to see a doctor who understands how this IS different from "normal-age" perimeno. The NAM's site is great for finding docs who will do something other than prescribe an anti-D only. Another source is the American Society of Repro. Endo.s... www asrm.org. They also have a doctor's list. Yes, many of them are focused on fertility but not all.

When I was in my mid-30's and starting to go through this (I'd been tested on day 3 of my cycle with an FSH level in the 60's and my husband and I were thinking about starting a family) I turned to a couple of older women -- women in their late 40's and 50's (and even early60's) -- a few women that I knew well. I wanted to talk to them - to learn about perimeno and menopause -- to see what they'd done, how they'd handled it.

None of the 3 of them would talk to me about "it". One said that she "JUST GOT THROUGH IT" and added that women who bitched and moaned about it were immature. Antoher just didn't what that personal space invaded and the 3rd TOLD me that I was too young and just making it up. Needless to say I did NOT feel supported. I thik that I can understand how someone in their late 40's and above miight not have any sympathy for someone in their 20's or 30's who are going through this -- they just do NOT know that it can happen to younger women and that it is NOT "normal" for that to happen.

Oh well - obviously this hit a nerve with me.... A site with younger women in your same boat might be a good thing for you. I hope that you find good support and good answers!!!

Greenchiligirl,

What is the NAM site for finding a doctor? I need a new one!

Thanks in advance!

Thunderhill

thunder, just google "North American Menopause Society." They have lists of doctors who are certified by them. We can't post web site links here at PS. Good luck!





greenchili, that is not quite true. Everything I have read about perimenopause says that it can start in the mid- to late-30s, or that it typically starts anytime between age 35 and 50. Actual menopause at age 40 or later is considered normal.

So I suppose if someone reached actual menopause in their 30s, that might be considered technically "early." But starting perimenopause in the 30s is normal.