Hello everyone,

Have a question, am I the only one or have any other ladies gotten worst pms since all this stuff started??

I never had pms, it has gotten crazy bad. The cramps alone are worth staying in bed for.

Any input would be nice to hear, I am feeling so all alone. I don't feel like I'm in love anymore either, have been married for 17 years.

Be true, Is.

Hi Is,

My PMS definitely got worse the deeper into peri I got. The bleeding got very heavy, so that every time I took a shower, it was like a scene out of "Psycho." Serious cramping, heaviness in pelvis. I couldn't leave the house the first couple days of a period.

Also, I began getting headaches that just wouldn't quit. And diarrhea. UGH.

The good news is that when you stop having periods, you don't go through the same crap. Of course, there's other peri crap to go through.

However, I believe with all my heart that things will level out one day. I've heard others say their PMS worsened before the periods stopped, so you're not alone with this.

Hope lives.

JJ

Thanks for the feed back, the thing that drives me the craziest is that it isn't just one thing, everything keeps changing.

One week it is the heart racing, then the next is the oh so tired, and on and on.....

Hope you have a great day

Be true, Is.

Is, my PMS got worse. It turned into a whole week of feeling depressed or irritable. It's gotten better now, I think because I'm taking calcium/magnesium. Maybe you could try that and see how it works for you?

You said you don't feel like you are in love anymore. Well, love isn't a feeling. It's a decision, a committment. I have found that I feel quite indifferent to friends and family right now. Like, I don't really have warm fuzzy feelings towards them, because I'm so busy thinking about how I am feeling with the peri stuff from day to day. So, please hang in there with your hubby and know that you will be feeling better, and more loving, when you get through this peri stuff!

Is: My PMS is much, much worse since peri started. And it starts immediately after I ovulate. It's so bad I have a hard time working. You aren't alone!!!

Hi Is...No you are not alone with the PMS...mine has definetely gotten worse...I get extremely depressed and feel extremely anxious...and then on top of the Peri...God you just can`t win..lol...

Anyway...Just try and hang in there...

P.S. This reply is for "rsgreen"...I use that term "warm and fuzzy feelings" all the time when it comes to how I feel about my b/f...I too seem to be distant lately from him and other people I care about...it seems the only time I feel good anymore is when I have my period...Isn`t that a laugh..lol

(((Hugs))) To ALL

Oh yeah PMS is a 10x worse then ever before Just want to crawl in bed and be left alone!! Between myself and my 15 year old daughter my son (who is 20) has decided PMS stands for People Must Suffer He could be right!!

I agree that "peri" takes PMS to a whole new level, lol

Before this point came into my life, I always had PMS, usually a week before it started, feeling down, irritated, bloated etc.

Then peri hit, and my PMS was all month long, it seemed!!!! Nothing prepares you for this.

Jules

OMG!...Jules..I hear ya about the whole month long thing...lol!

But,seriously I can`t explain why,but during my period I feel good and about a few days afterwards. Then after that forget it...it`s back to being Linda Blair from the Excorcist.....

I can sooooo relate to the post-ovulation PMS monthly roller-coaster and varied symptoms. It's scary!!!! Each month, I don't know what to expect. I feel paranoid and think as an intelligent, logical, woman, perhaps I should call my PC to discuss the new issues, but then once I get my period, they disappear and I go into a temporary utopic 'zone'. Soooo brief!! I feel alone because my friends don't experience the same symptoms or intensity. Under arm tenderness, mastalgia, terrible backpain, moodiness, loss of libido, etc. I've contemplated HRT, but know it's really not for me. My heart goes out to all....

i have been reading the posts from women who say that they get the worst symptoms when their periods START and then AFTER their period ends and are confused because i think it's more common for women to feel relief when they finallt START. well i am one of the women who feel worse when i start and after too. i always felt there was something else wrong with me because of this. but now i realize im not alone and we arent all the same. my problem is that when i feel depressed and tired and want to just stay in bed and sleep , i get afraid that if i do that , i will start a pattern that will lead into a real depression instead of just a temporary , hormonal driven one , and i also feel so guilty i cry. i feel like im not being the best i can be for my family , even tho my kids are in school all day and my husband is at work! what is this called? is there a name to put on it? i know i need to give myself a break but i have a hard time shaking the guilt. i can stay in bed and relax for a day or so , but any more than that and i start to think the scary thoughts about starting a bad pattern and causing my depression to stay.

I can soooo relate to this one!! Like isthisforreal, I can never tell what the month will bring! My pms has gotten bad, I never had cramps as a teen and still don't have any now but I get that 'heaviness' feeling and oh soooo cranky!!!!! Everything little thing bothers me!! I hate having to go out around people because I have to fake being in a good mood. That makes me worse when I get home, and of course I start yelling at the kids again. One month I will be overly hot and have heart palps, the next month I will be freezing and tired all the time! I am a week after my period right now and the rage is already set in! But since I've been skipping every other month I don't know what symptoms will come up next, this would be the month I skip if I keep doing like I have been. I guess I'm still ovulating, hince the rage, but no period. I sometimes will have depression one month and not have it again for several months. I don't know what would be worse, having all the symptoms all the time, or going on this roller coster I've been on where I don't know what will happen month to month! I am 6 and 1/2 years into peri and I'm only 35!! I just keep telling myself "I will still be young when my periods stiop (I hope!) and I will get to enjoy it!" It helps to remind myself that this is only a passing phase and it will be over soon.
Take care
De

I have been thinking that my PMS is getting better, because the last few months I haven't had many symptoms before my period like I used to. But now I'm thinking my PMS has just shifted to a few days after my period has started. Is that weird, or do others experience the same thing?

No,RS,it's not weird. Mine is doing the same lately. I used to feel better after it started but this month, it seems like it's getting worse the farther past it I am. My anxiety is horrible this month. Usually I get it just before my period starts and I can always just attribute it to that. This month it's just staying on.

I don't know if my stomach is yucky because of a bug that's been going around here and making the anxiety act up or vice versa. All I know is I'm tired and I don't want to do this anymore!

It doesn't help that my daughter is still sick. I always get worried. Stupid, I know. She's 25 and just has a bad cold but I guess it's the mom in me. Worried over the littlest things. I want the old me back, the one who didn't worry about every little thing or illness!!!

As a husband who's been told by his wife that she loves him but isn't in love with him, does this come on suddenly with peri or is it something that builds up over a number of months ? Also do you find that every mistake made by the husband is magnified and all the good things are forgotten ?

zxr, i think that at this time in our lives everything and everyone kinda gets pushed to the side as we are so intensely focused on ourselves. i have the greatest husband and i KNOW that deep in my soul , but i still have the same feelings as your wife does towards you sometimes. i love him so much somedays , and then the next day i swear i want a divorce. hormones really do mess with our minds as much as our bodies. its something that cant be controlled as hard as we try. we have to go with whatever happens each day as far as our moods and thoughts go. there is no such thing as consistancy anymore. when i have a good day where i want to snuggle or cuddle with my husband and kiss and hug , i cant believe that just the day before , i wanted a divorce! its very scarey feeling like our minds and bodies have been taken over by some evil alien! i dont know what else to tell you except i feel for you. does your wife come to the boards here? if not , it might help.

Hey gals and guy, I know how you feel mrsb76. I have had the stomach thing going on also, it is driving me crazy. I am also sick of this ride, you never know what the day will bring, I am willing to pay large amounts of money for my old self back!!

zxr, do not feel bad!! This is so normal, you wouldn't believe it. I'm in love one day and the next day I want out of the relationship. In answer to your question about every mistake, heck yes!! You are not alone, I don't have the answer for you. This is a strange and upsetting time for women. I used to be on the go 100% of the time, was in love head over heals, nothing ever bothered me and I mean nothing. Now I don't know whether I am coming or going, the symptoms are very bad. It is hard to be there for someone else when you yourself have so much going on. Give her time and space, take the good with the bad. They say this comes to an end, I am waiting also.

Thanks for all the replies. It gives me hope that I can help my wife through this in some way.

No doubt I'll be back at some future point wanting encouragment from you to stay the distance.

I think wife started her period yesterday. She went to one of her friends after work and didn't come back until late. Today she tells me that she's looking for somewhere to move into but as it may be a few weeks I should move out in the meantime.

This all seems real to me and its very hard to think it may be hormonally influenced. Since Christmas there have been lots of words about separation and divorce but no concrete action on my wife's part. Is this typical ? Do things get worse around the time of a period ?

I can't tell you what is going on in her head, but I know that I have wanted out of the relationship one day and then about a week later I am so in love. It goes back and forth, depends on what my hormones are up to.

You should check out the "Relationships in Midlife" and there is also one for Men. They are both on the board discussions. It might help to talk to other men, I do feel for you, but I know what your wife is going through so I guess I feel for both of you.

Good luck, and oh I just thought of an idea, have you told her about this site. It might help her, to understand what is going on. How old is she??

I got the chance to tell her about the site this week. I emailed her some of the typical postings hoping she would identify with the symptoms however she said she knew about perimenopause and she was like she was due to living with me not due to peri. She turned 40 late last year.

xzr, I think you should NOT move out. If your wife is serious about leaving, then she should be the one to move out. If she is threatening divorce but takes no action, maybe it is just the hormones talking. But it's not fair to you for her to do this to you. So if she threatens to leave or threatens divorce, leave it up to her to take action. If she really wants to leave, she will. Put the burden on her to act, don't carry the burden yourself by moving out.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you'll stick around here and let us know how you are doing.

Thanks for the support it makes the world of difference. We talked a lot last night and she was very upset and it takes all my strength not to reach out to hold her but I feel this would crowd her space and push her away.

In the space of 4 or 5 hours last night we had tears, laughter, anger, discussions about leaving and then "normal" conversations about existing plans (before all this came on 6 weeks or so ago). This is one hell of a rollercoaster ride.

Well a roller coaster for you, hell for all of us lol!!!

Does this "i love him so much somedays , and then the next day i swear i want a divorce" behaviour tend to last for a long time or after a while does a woman recognise that she's behaving inconsistently and that there must be some other cause other than just a straight forward falling out of love/marital breakdown ?