I've posted on the prayers board about my two special friends, Alice and Sue. Both are going through some really tough times right now and I feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do to help either one and it makes me feel so bad. I like being a person who can cheer others up and it's just not working right now.

Both are people I met online, neither lives close to me, so I can't just drop by and give out hugs, help with housework, shopping, whatever.

I hate to call and be disruptive in case of much-needed naps, but I feel like I need to do something more than I am. I don't want to be in the way, but...

I'm feeling guilty for not being sick myself - how stupid is that?

Nothing of substance here, just someone who wishes that there was less pain and more joy in the world.

Feel better soon (((Alice))) and (((Sue))). I'm so worried about both of you.

Dear Mary,

You have such a big warm heart, I can understand your concern. When we meet people online we can get close to them, they become family to us.

Mary, you are in my prayers as well as Alice and Sue.

I am just brainstorming some ideas-perhaps a prayer chain at a certain time and day
will bring a lot of power. Also, can we send get well cards by snail mail? It seems
more personal than e-mail sometimes. Perhaps the mail could go to a PO box (?)

It is so hard when people are far away and you want to lend a hand. I think a phone call is nice. I would just call. There is never a "right" time to call. Believe me, your call will be deeply appreciated.

Hopefully, other posters will have some great ideas. Mary, I wish you well and
take comfort you are doing all you can right now.

Sincerely.

icedancer

mightyMary, I dont know what your finacial situations is, but if you can afford this...you could call a resturant or one of the family members and send them money to go and get a meal for them...or a favorite dessert.

Alot of bussinesses will take your debt card or credit card over the phone, or you can ask if they would take money orders. Call them find out the price of such and then send in the money order with an food order.

There are also online grocery stores..like Simon Deliveries, if they live in larger cities. If not and you know the name of the stores they patron, some would be more than happy to make a dilivery to their home, just because of them being a loyal customer.

Could you maybe contact a church or synogog (sp?) and ask if there are any teens that maybe willing to go over and you could make a donation to their faith community in their behalf for helpin with some housework..?

Just even sending a "care package" would be so nice...get a box , send some of their favorite things...u could go to a dollar store, and get some favorite snacks, tissue paper..(for the tears you cant physically help dry or wipe away), books, cards, pictures, and etc. Or some of your own baked goodies.

U have a good heart MightyMary, and I asm quite sure any thing you do is great to them.

And NO, you aint stupid for feeling guilty...that just shows how you love your buddies. So wipe that from your wittle head Dear..

Hugs Huney...

Oh, Mary, you are such a sweetheart. You are doing lots of good with your kind thoughts and prayers. It may not be physically tangible, but it's just as important. Your friends can feel the love coming their way.

We're right alongside of you too!

Hugs,
Meryl

Hi MaryO,

You are helping just by being a friend and caring but i know how horrible it feels to have your hands tied.

Just that you love your friends and are there for moral support means the world.Moral support,when miles away is the physical hands that cant be there

DaMomma,had some wonderful ideas. Its not exactly like being there but it comes close...Great idea Mom!!

MaryO,Don't forget how valuable your help around here is to Dearest,I'm sure this puts her mind at ease,its one less thing for her to worry about.I'm sure your friend Sue finds MUCH comfort in knowing you are there for her when she needs a loving ear to just listen..or comforting words when shes feeling so down.

Friendships come from all around and sometimes there not right next door but don't ever underestimate the power of a phone call or a card letting them know your there...it still tells the person....I love you,I'm here for you.

Both women in your life are lucky to have you I'm sure you've have been that phone call and that card for them and that is just what the DR ordered.

Put your mind at ease MaryO,your love is felt here,so I'm sure your friends are wrapped in it

Fell better and you too are in my prayers,

HUGS,
Lynda

Mary,

Just your concern and kindness goes a long way in helping your friends. I know this feeling of wishing one could do more, and actually feeling guilty for NOT suffering as they do.

You have a big beautiful heart.

JJ

[quote=che che,Jan 3 2006, 11:30 AM]
Hi MaryO,

You are helping just by being a friend and caring
Just that you love your friends and are there for moral support means the world.Moral support,when miles away is the physical hands that cant be there


Lynda, AMEN for that!!! I truly thing that your prayers and your support is worth everything. I am almost jelous of that kind of friendship. God bless you for your friendship and committment to your friends. In my humble opinion, I don't think you should feel sad or helpless... you are doing what you can. Please stop feeling guilty you have to be kind to yourself too... not just your friends. The better you are feeling the better friend you will be for those who need you.

Keep it up because that's how you will be more helpful :-)

Oh MY...

My post sounded like I was TELLING what you should do , and I sure didnt mean that at all!

With what everyone has posted hun, they are of course absolutely right!!

take my word, just the phone calls and being an ear, as helped me so much when the gals call me!!!!

DaMomma,

You were brainstorming... I think those suggestions were wonderful... it is all about balancing... and who knows maybe MaryO can actually put in action some of your thoughts...

You are very sweet DaMomma and I actually printed your thoughts because they can certainly may come handy.

Michelle

Oh yes it is.... If all of us who read your post can FEEL it, I'm sure you're special friends feel it even more.

They know Mary, they know.... I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Also Mary, I just noticed that there were 49 replies, and 750 viewings of your post asking for prayers for Alice. You got all those people keeping her in their thoughts and best wishes!! I didn't even count the replies for Sue!

There's certainly nothing "helpless" about that my friend!!! You did a great thing!

Mary, just wanted to add I really don't know what Alice's and Sue's needs are but
there are wonderful social services available nationwide such as Volunteers Of
America, Catholic Charities, Meals On Wheels that help people that are homebound
for whatever reason. And of course local churches that was mentioned by DaMomma.

Keep us posted how you are doing and if we can help in any other way.



icedancer

MaryO,

I too know how you feel. I am a pretty proactive person and don't "do" feeling helpless very well.

Phone calls are very important. If you're not feeling well and cannot get out of the house often it is a real blessing to know people are thinking of you and checking on you. I also liked the idea of sending a care package or having a local restaurant or store deliver food. You could also arrange for a house cleaner or anything else they might need (if you can find that out).

Ever heard of survivors guilt? It is not just for people who survive while others die. Survivors guilt happens when our friends or family are sick, or when we see co-workers get laid off. We feel that because we care. I don't think there is a cure for this, just acceptance. Your motivation to find ways to help is healthy.