I am only 30 and am exhibiting all signs pointing to meno. I had my first (and so far only) child two years ago, and have had no desire for sex since. Previously, I was a very sexual being, comfortable with my body and my sexuality as a woman, and enjoyed sex very much. I can tell you off the bat that I gained 100 pounds with my pregnancy and have 40 left to lose. I have lived my life as a thing person and have huge self esteem issues over this weight thing. I just can't lose it! Anyway, I blame my lack of desire for sex partially on that, partially on daily migraines and of course, on my hormones. My husband (who I love dearly and find him most attractive) asked if we could go see a sex therapist. I agreed (although really didn't feel there was any point) We went three times and just talked about our backgrounds. On the third visit she hit a really sore spot for me and made me cry for hours. I've already been in therapy over those issues, and that is not why we went to see her. She gave my husband instructions for satisfying himself that also really upset me. Later I discussed this with him and we came to our own "arrangement" if you will. But that doesn't help me any! I want so badly to want to be with him. I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts?
Full Version: Help! I'm only 30 and have no sex drive!
Hi Girls.This is a very sad topic for me and I really need some help I am only 30 and am exhibiting all signs pointing to meno. I had my first (and so far only) child two years ago, and have had no desire for sex since. Previously, I was a very sexual being, comfortable with my body and my sexuality as a woman, and enjoyed sex very much. I can tell you off the bat that I gained 100 pounds with my pregnancy and have 40 left to lose. I have lived my life as a thing person and have huge self esteem issues over this weight thing. I just can't lose it! Anyway, I blame my lack of desire for sex partially on that, partially on daily migraines and of course, on my hormones. My husband (who I love dearly and find him most attractive) asked if we could go see a sex therapist. I agreed (although really didn't feel there was any point) We went three times and just talked about our backgrounds. On the third visit she hit a really sore spot for me and made me cry for hours. I've already been in therapy over those issues, and that is not why we went to see her. She gave my husband instructions for satisfying himself that also really upset me. Later I discussed this with him and we came to our own "arrangement" if you will. But that doesn't help me any! I want so badly to want to be with him. I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts?
I am only 30 and am exhibiting all signs pointing to meno. I had my first (and so far only) child two years ago, and have had no desire for sex since. Previously, I was a very sexual being, comfortable with my body and my sexuality as a woman, and enjoyed sex very much. I can tell you off the bat that I gained 100 pounds with my pregnancy and have 40 left to lose. I have lived my life as a thing person and have huge self esteem issues over this weight thing. I just can't lose it! Anyway, I blame my lack of desire for sex partially on that, partially on daily migraines and of course, on my hormones. My husband (who I love dearly and find him most attractive) asked if we could go see a sex therapist. I agreed (although really didn't feel there was any point) We went three times and just talked about our backgrounds. On the third visit she hit a really sore spot for me and made me cry for hours. I've already been in therapy over those issues, and that is not why we went to see her. She gave my husband instructions for satisfying himself that also really upset me. Later I discussed this with him and we came to our own "arrangement" if you will. But that doesn't help me any! I want so badly to want to be with him. I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts?
QUOTE
Quote: from Lilikoi on 6:29 pm on Aug. 30, 2002[br]Hi Girls.This is a very sad topic for me and I really need some help I am only 30 and am exhibiting all signs pointing to meno. I had my first (and so far only) child two years ago, and have had no desire for sex since. Previously, I was a very sexual being, comfortable with my body and my sexuality as a woman, and enjoyed sex very much. I can tell you off the bat that I gained 100 pounds with my pregnancy and have 40 left to lose. I have lived my life as a thing person and have huge self esteem issues over this weight thing. I just can't lose it! Anyway, I blame my lack of desire for sex partially on that, partially on daily migraines and of course, on my hormones. My husband (who I love dearly and find him most attractive) asked if we could go see a sex therapist. I agreed (although really didn't feel there was any point) We went three times and just talked about our backgrounds. On the third visit she hit a really sore spot for me and made me cry for hours. I've already been in therapy over those issues, and that is not why we went to see her. She gave my husband instructions for satisfying himself that also really upset me. Later I discussed this with him and we came to our own "arrangement" if you will. But that doesn't help me any! I want so badly to want to be with him. I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts?
I am only 30 and am exhibiting all signs pointing to meno. I had my first (and so far only) child two years ago, and have had no desire for sex since. Previously, I was a very sexual being, comfortable with my body and my sexuality as a woman, and enjoyed sex very much. I can tell you off the bat that I gained 100 pounds with my pregnancy and have 40 left to lose. I have lived my life as a thing person and have huge self esteem issues over this weight thing. I just can't lose it! Anyway, I blame my lack of desire for sex partially on that, partially on daily migraines and of course, on my hormones. My husband (who I love dearly and find him most attractive) asked if we could go see a sex therapist. I agreed (although really didn't feel there was any point) We went three times and just talked about our backgrounds. On the third visit she hit a really sore spot for me and made me cry for hours. I've already been in therapy over those issues, and that is not why we went to see her. She gave my husband instructions for satisfying himself that also really upset me. Later I discussed this with him and we came to our own "arrangement" if you will. But that doesn't help me any! I want so badly to want to be with him. I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts?Have you had your hormone levels checked?
Poor Lilikoi, this is so sad for anyone, especially at your young age. I hope something can be sorted out for you and your husband soon, as Zelma says, maybe some hormone treatment would be suitable.Lack of libido is one symptom I do not have (yet!), there is so much to put up with in meno, if I didn't enjoy sex it would be unbearable!!Good luck to you.
Hi Zelma - I'm just waiting for the results of the bloodwork to come back....Thanks Beth for the sympathy. Sometimes we all need some don't we?Hugs n Kisses, Jen
Having your hormone levels checked first would be a very good idea. I experienced a very similar situation after the birth of my first son when I was 23. Before he was born, I had a high sex drive, enjoyed sex, etc. Afterwards, it was like someone flipped a light switch - no more sex drive. It may have been due to the pressures of being a new mother - you just don't have the time to devote to your sexual relationship with your husband as you did pre-children. Possibly this could be it? Maybe scheduling more alone time between you and your hubby? Go away for the weekend and leave your toddler with relatives/friends? Just a thought...
since i turned 40 now nearly 42 sex drive is just about nil. It was because of this that i got a book out of the library on premenopause and lack of sex drive was one of the syptoms. I have helped myself with the panic/anxiety by taking extra vits but the lack of sex drive is just as bad.I really cannot be bothered and just do it because i feel i should but fella know's this and its causing so many problems. I myself think what can i do? feel i should try harder to get a solution because there's alot of years left and fella's 7 years younger than me. Still has a high sex drive.
HI Paulinep,Why don't you get your testosterone levels checked? There are several things that could help you but if you're lacking in this hormone it would be fairly easy to correct. It's just begiinning to happen to me now at age 51, but you should at least be entitled to another 10 years of passion and desire!
Suzie
I was just wondering what birth control you have. My best friend is on depo injections and has the same symptoms as you and then some. She investigated it and found out that this is the cause of her troubles. Lack of sex drive-if any at all-, migrains and a bunch of other stuff.
Hi reen I'm sterlized have been for about 15 yearsI also have started suffering with migraine's which have not had before.
Take carePauline
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.