Some of the newer tests can tell after one week, even before a missed period. With all I've been hearing of forty-something women getting pregnant, it could be! You never know, the baby could be quite a blessing - many "surprizes" are! Zelma

Here's an article about a lady who had twins in her fifties - the two girls are 5 years old now! http://apnews.myway.com/article/20041126/D.../D86JONS80.html Zelma

HMM well knitmama, I had increased libido over the last few years, but I attributed it mainly to a course of anti-depressants I was on at the time which are known to increase libido: wellbutrin, aka zyban.

but maybe it was that in combo with peri.

ps- blueschick, LOVE your sig line.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I am so glad I found this site. For the past year I have been going crazy wondering what is wrong with me, why I have been feeling this way. Yes, my periods have been flaky too but I had attributed that to stresses from serious issues in my life in the past year. Now I know what has been going on. The doctor's all say I am too young for menopausal issues, I am 44-soon to turn 45 in June; and have been told time and again that increased sex drive is not a symptom of pre-menopause. I am so grateful to have found you all and look forward to all that I can learn on this site.

AT 49 I have all the classic peri symptoms, apart from one. Lost libido. On the contrary, my sex life in my 40s has been way, way better than it ever was in my younger days. No sign of waning either. It's been a good few years in that respect lol!

I'm not taking anything. No hormones or anti deps or anything. But the libido remains high, despite all the other inconveniences of this tumultous time of life, and for me, it is one of the great compensations of peri.

I'm still interested in sex (at least sometimes), but on those rare occasions when my husband (late 50s) is also in the mood, I end up very disappointed. We've never been very imaginative in our 20-year marriage, and by now I can predict almost to the second what he's going to do, and how it won't do much for me. I know it's a two-way street, but we find it difficult to talk about sex, in general or specific terms. Maybe I should have been reading some of those Cosmo articles about turning on your man instead of laughing at the cover teasers while I stand in line at the grocery store. Aside from menopausal issues, I feel like I need a Sex 101 class to think up some new ways to put some zip into our sex life and improve both quality and quantity. Can anyone recommend some books, whether geared to women in this mid-life stage or to anyone in a relationship? At this point in our lives, we're not going to get too wild and crazy, but I hope it's not too late to figure out what this sex thing is all about.

Sxe????

Look I cant event spell it - it was that long ago!!!!

Sex???

Whats that?

Trying to have lustful thoughts but too knackered

All this insomnia wasted!!!!

If only I could turn over in the night and find Johnny Depp lying there - maybe.........

Mele

ex388woman - welcome.
Oh good grief, too young for menopausal issues at 44? What is wrong with these Drs, it really makes me so CROSS

I can understand your relief at finding this site, I was exactly the same and didn't know what was happening to me, it was a complete revelation to read all these posts from women who actually had the same problems as me! There is loads of info on the main site too.

We look forward to reading your posts and helping you along this road

(((Mele)))


....S E X .....There you the proper spelling *giggles*.....



Sex is what saves me from this Peri h**l!!.....so far so good in that department.......




*thinks when I turn over it would have to be Jon Bon Jovi for me....."Lay Your Hands On Me".....BABY!!!!!


*giggles*

Christina

********poof*********......gone

darn......brain fog!!!!!.....


ERROR!!!... I meant to say...."There`s the".....not "There you".....




*sighs*

If it makes you ladies feel any better, my mother is now 65 years old, and has the sex drive of a 25 year old! Here is her story --

She never cared about sex -- she was molested by her stepfather as a child, had two husbands (including my dad) and a variety of boyfriends who were the "climb on, climb off, go to sleep" types (I think it's the age group), and being a neat freak, she though it was too messy to fool with. She did wonder why everyone else made such a big deal about it. Anyway, her current boyfriend of four years (6 years younger) LOVES sex and believes that the woman should enjoy it as much as he does. So now after years of "eh, I don't care" all of a sudden she can't get enough of it. (I'm aware that I know more about my mom's private life than most people, but that's the kind of relationship she and I have. We talk about everything!)

She has no idea when or if she went through menopause. She had an emergency hysterectomy at 29, and although they left her ovaries in for the hormones, without having a period or obvious peri symptoms, she had no gauge for when to start looking for it (I guess as a result she didn't dwell on it like I do, and just let it happen), so doesn't know when it happened. She's never taken hormones of any kind. She's still gorgeous, her health is great, she's extremely active with her own business, plus she gets lots of exercise doing yard work (12 acres to take care of!), and even her new doctor was shocked to find out how out how old she was, and said she wouldn't have thought Mom was over fifty. I'm sure that has to do with the facts that 1) she reads a lot (law and medicine are her favorites) and 2) she loves to laugh and cut up and be silly. It's mind over matter... if you don't mind, it don't matter!

I wonder what Mom's secret is, since so many women claim to lose their drive as they age. Forgive me if I'm stepping on anybody's toes, but I'm curious how much of it is psychological rather than hormonal -- depression over the end of the reproductive years, acceptance that one never really liked it to begin with and can now admit it, or, like I've heard, "women with low sex drives might just be tired of what they're driving". Anyway, whatever is working for Mom -- keeping active, staying healthy, laughing every day -- I need to follow her lead.

Groves:



Some years ago, I taught a course in art. One of my students had trouble completing her project so I invited her to finish on weekends inmy shop. Turns out she was a family therapist, by profession

So, one Saturday we were working together, and having a frank discussion. My somewhat shy husband showed up to give me a lift home, just as we got to the point where she was discussing how older couples could jazz up their love lives.

She said she had a series of erotic films, not lewd, just - racy. She'd give couples a few films, then suggest they watch them together. For ultra shy types, she recommended they hold hands and give their partner's hand a squeeze when they saw something they thought they'd enjoy trying.

Angela wasn't the least hesitant to discuss this, and even my husband - somewhat taken aback initially, saw the merits in the situation.

I'd bet that you have a free mental health or family clinic in your town. Prhaps you could give them a call and see what they suggest. They might have other ideas that would help.

I think the multiple "O's may be part of the increased libido thing. In addition to increased libido, I am multi-orgasmic and was not when I was younger. Hey, enjoy it!!!

I was glad to find this subject on a message board. I am 45 and still have fairly regular menstrual cycles, sometimes skipping a month and some heavier than others. My doc also says I am "too young" for peri, so I am going to seek another opinion. I have had a raging libido for about 6 months now.

My experience is that sex overall is better than it has ever been, and therefore I want it more than ever! I think a lot of it has to do with being more mature, less preoccupied with body image, and being able to tell your partner what feels good and what doesn't. I find it very freeing. (I recently lost about 20 pounds and "toned up", so that accounts for better body image, also).

I say, enjoy it while you can. My main problem is finding men who can keep up with me. So many are starting to have prostate problems and other physical manifestations and need some "help". Thank God for Viagra!

If your man isn't doing what you want, find a gentle way to tell him. Maybe a book or movie, if you can't put it into words or are too embarrassed.

I found the movie 9-1/2 weeks with Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke extremely erotic, without being pornography.

Sunshine -- You are one of the few lucky ones with increased sex drive. I've been searching for mine for over a year now, has it ever been elusive!!!! I laughed about you mentioning Viagra. My stupid hubby thought if He took Viagra it would increase MY sex drive. Number 1, his sex drive has not diminished at all. Can you just imagine if he added Viagra to it!!!! Talk about having to see a doctor after 4 hours!!!!!!------Shelley

I mentioned this in the other "increased libido" thread too, but might as well here too.

I'm 51, and have been in "peri" for a few years now. It's been like "second honeymoon" re: lovemaking. At first I was confused and worried because the whole mass media focus is always on lowered sex drive.

All I can say is, go testosterone! It's worth it to pull out a few chin hairs.

Unless he puts in *your* coffee! Unfortunately, I don't think that would work.

Don't worry. Your libido will go down to zero in a while. then you can worry.


I was raging at your age,too. It's the last hoorah...Enjoy while you can. Once hormones are depleded you have other problems...only worse.

Viagra does not increase the sex drive in either male or female. It just increases the hardness & length of time that an erection will last if you have erectile dysfunction.

When your estrogen drops way down it allows your "testosterone" hormones to show through, thereby becoming the dominant hormone. Your body may even increase it's manufacturing of testosterone so it convert the testosterone into the estrogen your body is seaching for.

Maybe I should be a little more explicite, my hubby already has " long term endurance" when it comes to length of time, no I'm not bragging, it can be miserable, especially now that my sex drive is nowhere to be found!!!! So God forbid that he takes something that would make him last even looooooonger!!!! OH MY!!!!!!!!----Shelley

Ah, now I understand! I remember those days from a decade or two ago...when you have to tell them to "get done already" it has gone on too long!!

I remember one time I was pre-prepared for a long drawn out session, about an hour into it, I calmly picked up some dental floss and started flossing my teeth!!!!!!!! Ya know, you can only "oh baby oh baby" for so long.LOL------------Shelley

HILARIOUS!!!! I usually used that time to think about what in my fridge would be good to eat when it was all over.

I bet we could start a whole new forum on this subject!!!!!! Come on ladies this could get hilarious!!! Yes daleys, I've also prepared many a menu and even decided on colors to paint my livingroom, kitchen, bathroom, oh heck, actually the whole house!!!------Shelley

Bump. I wish I had found this thread before I posted the same question!

This happened to me too. For about three years once I turned 49 I was off the scale horny. I also dropped three stone inside a year. It was wonderful. Sadly it meant I met and fell for a younger man and couldn't wait to get him into bed. The sad bit is I am married. He WAS hot but I'm sure I found him hotter because of my hormones. He was married too and his wife had never enjoyed sex so we were both starving hungry for each other. My poor dear husband had got used to me not wanting sex for so long. Besides. I do think a high sex drive makes you want someone new. The married lover and I split up after 9 months and I was climbing the walls in frustration. When the affair mess calmed down my husband tried again and BAM we were having a great sex life again. Sadly this ended after another two years with my first hot flush. Then the weight crept back up.

I'm using testosterone now and feeling better but nowhere near how I was back then. It's tempting to push the T up until I feel the magic. I notice my two stiff chin hairs have stopped growing through since I've been on the Ostrogel. Not sure it's raw T that does it though or if it's something more complicated?

I do think coming off the BCP also revved up my sex drive. I was put on a mini pill and that's when I noticed the sex drive coming back. It's a delicate balance between stopping the hot flushes and keeping the libido. Vilet says you need the oestrogen to make the testosterone work properly.

That is what people say I but I have found that not to be the case. If you use estrogen all that happens is that it ties up the testosterone so it is not available and libido will drop.

I don't use any oestrogen at all. I do not have any ovaries either. All I do is use a very tiny amount of testosterone every now and then and I feel great on it! It has been quite hard getting the dose right because it is so easy to overdose without oestrogen. I have done that before and using too much is awful, so be careful if you increase your dose as it can actually kill your libido.

With the small amount I use, I do not have any problems with facial hair growth or voice changes but it is enough to do what I need!
Oestrogen is converted from testosterone in the body anyway so I think my body must be sorting itself out because I feel great! I felt terrible when I was trying to use oestrogen, and my libido disappeared even though I was using testosterone also. I felt too anxious and tearful to contemplate sex!
I think once we get past a certain age regardless of what hormones we are taking we will not feel as we did when younger. I admit that I do not have an actual desire any more which I miss dreadfully, but then once I start the sex is great and multi orgasmic! I am almost 57 and had a surgical menopause so I am very happy to have a sex life at all
I also have loads of energy and enthusiasm for life and sleep really well so for me testosterone has been the magic key!

janet c

At 51, my libido has been off the charts for almost three years now, way better than at any other time in my life. Unfortunately, someone else has NONE, so there's no one to share this with, so I'm having to enjoy it solo. I'll say one thing... I have a totally new appreciation for teenage boys. If they all feel like I do, they should be taken out of school for all of puberty and then return to high school at 18. No wonder most of their grades are terrible!

I am glad I found this site...I already feel better. I had a very healthy sex drive in my twenties, then found myself quite asleep in by my late thirties. Now at 43, I feel like I am in heat. Along with that, I have spent most of today crying. I feel like I did when I was a teenager with all these unbridled emotions. I agree with the points being made that the sex drive is embarrassing, and I have made quite a fool of myself over an interesting teacher at the college I am attending. He is someone who I respect intellectually and would like to talk more with, but I can't because I'm too busy picturing him with his clothes off. It's great too feel alive like this, but it is also getting in the way.
My husband and I have never been great physically together, although we are affectionate. He is older than I am and really isn't all that interested in sex now. I am just trying to hang on while all this energy surges go on inside, I don't want to end up being unfaithful to my husband.
Also, these periods hit like a hammer...Ouch!

Never take those feelings for granted because they will not last forever.
I would give anything to go back to those times when it was all I could think about!
Sometimes I sob my heart out for what I lost when they took my ovaries away
janet c

I'd give anything to have the sex drive that I used to have...it feels like it is lost and gone forever.

NOooooooooooooo!

Yep, it has stuck me and I tell hubbie"grab it while it's good"! Seems to really peak right before my period and then the days immediately following it.....and it crosses over from hubbie to cute men I come across out and about ( I'm referring to the, shall we say, lustfulness?) like I'm a tigress on the prowl....almost embarrassing!!!!! But, hubbie is loving the results!!!

Sorry to read it disappears ......

Will enjoy it while it's here...

I just turned 48 and I am on an upswing in that dept. I honestly told my husband that early in peri it felt like someone turned off a switch but now, the switch is turned on. Last week we had sex twice in one day. I had no trouble at all. I have to say that my husband had some trouble.

He was kissing me on the couch, real soft and gentle and I about climb the walls! It got me so hot for about 2 days every time I thought about it

Oh Peri, I know EXACTLY WHAT you mean! I don't know that I understand it at all. Some women say it'll go away once the hormones flatten out. Well, mine are in the cellar and I'm still a raging sex maniac. I am 54 and it was like a switch being turned on for me too about 4 months ago and I feel like a sex obsessed teenager! I sometimes have difficulty concentrating on anything else. My husband is so confused!! He's started having some problems in this area but Levitra to the rescue and all is terrific ... when he's home. He travels for a living so is gone 3 or 4 days a week. By then I'm a crazed mess and he's got a lot of catching up to do. LOL Recently we had sex three times in about less than 24 hours and I can't tell you the last time we did that! Exhausting but definitely worth it! I hope it doesn't go away anytime soon so I can make up to him for all the years I wasn't interested.

I'm in the same boat. Ive never been very sexual and my husband used to be but gave up on me years ago. We have had sex very seldom in recent years and now all of a sudden I am dying for sex. I'm 57 and still getting my period although it has become irregular during the past year. My husband now has some health issues and has very little desire in sex and I'm going nuts. He thinks it's funny. Everything I've read has made me think my sexual disire should be decreasing until I found this website. I'm so happy that I'm not the only one because I was beginning to worry. My husband tries to oblige but it isn't enough and he can't take anythng like Viagra because he has a heart condition and is on all kinds of other medications. I sit around reading romance novels and fantasize a lot.

I read that the overies start making testosterone in meno? Maybe it is a dirty little secret that post meno women never talked about? Now with laser hair removal, I will take more testosterone!!!! I think I fluctuate still but I think that testosterone is high on some days. I have one hair on my chin-yuck!

hahahaa what ever did your partner say? One would think flossing while sex is an instant deflator.....

lol

I am so thankful I found this thread and this site. I honestly was beginning to doubt my sanity. My libido has been fairly low for several years. Lately, I started experiencing hot flashes and night sweats, and insomnia. I also started experiencing an increase in my libido. A huge increase in my libido. Sex is all I think about day and night. If my husband calls me at work, I can hardly sit still just hearing his voice. Last year, I told my husband that I felt "dead down there". Now, I can just have a brief thought and I feel that area filling up with blood and it's definitely not dead. Thankfully, my husband has always had a strong libido, so 3-4 times a day is no problem for him. I think I would have a problem if he didn't. Now, my question is this: Do we release some kind of pheromones or something when we are like this? I'm a nurse and have never really noticed anyone seriously flirting with me before, but lately I have had a couple of MD's seriously hitting on me. One in particular just won't give up and he is gorgeous. Again, thankfully my husband is the total package so it makes it easier to resist. I know this is rambling, but my mind doesn't work really well these days, lol.

Hi TiGi,
I took notice of your question re: pheromones...I too am a nurse and have wondered the same basic thing. I have had a surge in libido for several months now and it's crazy. Multiple times a day works for me when I can get it! What's interesting is that I've even felt sexier no matter where I am or who I'm with. It's just a generalized feeling I have, not necessarily "horney" but sexy. AND, I have noticed more attention from the males I've worked around for years. All of a sudden they seem to be much more attentive and touchy feely, if you will. Even men away from work are like this so I guess it makes some sense that we must release SOMETHING that attracts them like moths to a flame. Ha ha! I'm glad your so happy with your husband and can resist the temptations of the gorgeous MD...I hope you won't mind, but just a word of unsolicited advice...tell this MD you are absolutly NOT interested and make him go away. Believe me, you don't need the headache all that attention can cause. I am not suggesting that you would let it go anywhere but I recently found out that my husband had an affair earlier this year with a so called "friend" and co-worker and it's been a real roller coaster around here.
The increase in desire is wonderful though, I hope you continue to enjoy it for years to come.

Thanks for your reply. I totally relate to what you said about feeling sexier. I thought those days were long past, but I guess I was wrong. I'm really happy about this unexpected surprise. I'm sorry about your husbands affair. Even though I must admit I was flattered by the MD's attention, I would in no way jeopardize 24 years of marriage to my best friend for that. I have started swapping zones when he works so he won't be seeing my patients, and I told him why.

My husband is loving this hyperlibido thing. I hope it lasts awhile, too.

Smart woman!!! I wish my husband had taken that approach but alas, he did not.

It's funny, by the time my libido came back it had been many years of "not much action" if you get my drift. When it came back, it was like being hit by a truck! I suddenly out of nowhere wanted sex and the more I got the more I wanted. I felt like a teenager again and could barely think of anything else. My husband however, thought it so odd that he felt "smothered". Of course, this was during the affair so he was having a hard time keeping up with two of us. It's great that your husband is loving this phase of your life. You both are very lucky that your "timing" has been so perfect. From what I read, by the time this hits most of us our husbands are starting to have ED issues so a lot of women are "flying solo" if you get my meaning. I hope it lasts as long as you both want it to!!! Consider yourself very lucky!

Honey
Whatever it is you are releasing would you mind bottling it up and sending it my way!
I will cover all shipping expenses!
Enjoy while you can and ramble and tumble on
Warm wishes
Elizabeth

You are too funny!!! BUT... if I could bottle this up and sell it, I would be set for life.

The other thing that's weird is this: I lay awake most of the night and only get probably about 3-4 hours sleep per night, but I still feel rested during the day. Anyone else?

TiGi

Sweetie Pie
With all that hot and heavy sweating!how much sleep do you expect?
Sometimes I think we all go through bouts of insomnia but as long as you are feeling rested try not to let it bother you.
When your body needs its sleep,it will get it.

Warm Wishes to sexy and sleepless
From Frigid and falling asleep at the drop of a hat!
Elizabeth

I've discovered my libido has gone up also due to the fact we have more alone time together....we were a shotgun wedding so it went "hot and heavy, pregnant, married, and parents" all in the course of 1 year.....

Fast forward 30 years and, thankfully, we have found each other again and it did wonders for our sex life....

And with the fear of ED and crashing libido lurking in the background as it does at our age, we do it when we can...kinda storing up the feeling for when (and if) it stops being as easy to pull off and we have only memories !!! I know at some point, it will wind down to hand holding and a peck on the cheek...

So life goes....

Momz

OMG! OMG! Thank you Ladies! I knew my body was/is/will be changing, but not like this. WOWZAA!!!

Turning 52 this year, haven't had the usual symptoms, just insomnia last year, but that has since stopped. My cycle the last nine months or so is erratic at best: off three months, then on again every two weeks for a few weeks, very light and lasts maybe 10 days. But my libido has skyrocketed within the past few months. Where did this come from? I've been married 29 years to a wonderful man, and to say that we have been enjoying my new found libido is an understatement.

We are rediscovering each other again and preparing for the future, ya' know, just in case: Toys!

Your eye candy for today: Candy

BTW, I'm glad I found this site, you rock!

OMG if that happens me, my husband would be soooo happy.... Right now the only libido I have is to do the dishes, the poor guy.... I feel sooo bad for him, cuz I just don't have annnnny desire.... To read this and know that there is hope, ah, won't he be happy...

I have had an increased lib for the past five years, beginning at age 46. Due to aging issues with an older spouse, I ended up in an EMA with another man, who is a friend of the family, also his GF is a collegue of mine. I never ever thought I would be doing this & I did end the affair just recently. I acted like a stupid teenager in love with an inappropriate boy -- but at least I knew I was stupid (at 51 I should hope I would have some wisdom!)

My orgasms are deep & numerous -- I blame some of my response on my years of yoga & running & weight training bc muscles all around my pelvis are well toned -- add to that the perimenopause hormonal storm & I suppose I was doomed from the start.... More discussion needs to be done in this area -- we hear so much about decreased sex drive (and that should be talked about too) -- but my gyno just told me to be thankful when I related to him my dilemma (minus the affair).

I too have those rogue chin hairs ... seems a common problem here among we who have this too high sex drive. I know it is the testosterone overload or whatever -- my gran had them too, wonder if she ever felt like this (I seem to recall her acting oddly in her 50s, having a big crush on some actor).

Glad to find this forum bc thought I was the only one with this situation...

I had it very BAAAAAAAAD for a very long time!!! Ad's leveled me out.

Another signifier of higher than normal testosterone levels is spots. I always advise guys I know that if they have the pick between a porcelain skinned beauty and a spotty girl go for the spotty one if they want a good sex life..lol!

Def in the increased libido catagory here. Orgasms so powerful I can't help but pee myself sometimes and it's the ones that won't come to an end even when my legs have turned to ice that really do me in. Certainly makes up for living with acne all these years! Any female friend I know who is sexually heated has poor skin too.

I had an abnormal cervical smear result in Feb this year and have just had to have a second one, I didn't like to tell the nurse that I suspect it is just the result of significant wear and tear!

Think it's about the right balance because when I'm otherwise occupied it doesn't give me any trouble but when the suitable moment arises I'm right on it. Hope it doesn't change too much for a very long time!

I am new here and am having the thoughts too, directed to my husband. I will post my story soon. I am 48 and i never had a sex drive till now. my story is a little sad. Im glad i found this site!!