Hi Sheray:

I have your problem -- but worse still, my H was disinterested & my ravenous SD was the force that led me to an EMA (not something I recommend or am proud to admit). Anytime I thought of my lover, my vagina would pulse -- and if I saw the guy (he was F of a F, so saw him at various events w his W) -- I was in a sexual state that seemed to make me some kind of she-devil -- I recall talking to his W & going to the BR to push up my cleavage a bit before I approached her for conversation, with such a desire to be out there with it (and of course his W is a sweet lady, she was not at all aware of this, TG!!) I was like some 18th century courtesan strutting her assets before the French court! And it was all in my head (and btwn my legs, of course). He & I had the opportunity for much trysting & all kinds of other stupid nonsense I will not relate here -- let's just say that my commensense flew out the window. That I do not have an STD is only due to prob my partner's having a pristine S history, just his W. I did have myself checked BTW (no diseases)-- but when I was awash in hard & biting need of S, I just did NOT NOT NOT care what happened to me. This must be what 19 yr old boys feel...no wonder they are on a rampage at their age (and I feel I have been as foolish as they are).

I can only say to have whatever SL you can have, without going down the destructive path I chose. I was such an awful person -- still want him, & think of him. I know I could call him & he'd be there....he told me I was the best S & my H was a lucky man.... hell, my H didn't want to be a lucky man, he wanted to be left alone bc he has health issues, being m older than I am.

Sorry to ramble on...just a cautionary note to all out there w this problem bc I was a churchgoer, a club member, very conventional woman & yet this happened to me -- never never would I have guessed myself going this route. One thing, I now no longer am judgemental about those who make poor sexual choices -- if it can happen to me, so can it happen to anyone....be good all....WV

PS-----Have yet to return to attending Mass bc must confess my EMA to a priest & just do not have the courage. I hope I can get some of my old self back, like I was.... BTW, my SD has abated somewhat since my periods have slackened -- yet still have quite too much SD for a nice married lady whose H is out to lunch...oh well, could be worse, should not complain about something most women would die to have....not the EMA, I mean the SD.

It pains me that there is another person on this planet who knows every corner of my body most intimately & has seen me in such a way as no one but my H should ever have known about...I know it is my own fault, but it is one consequence I live with (plus see this guy off & on & I imagine that he is looking at me & remembering). I know I am sound like I am more intrigued with the shame than truly ashamed, but I do feel bad & am still reeling from & dealing with what has happened to me...

Build him up as a lover. I send naughty emails to my husband and tell him how good he is. Its exciting!