Wasn't sure where to post this. Couldn't find anything titled "Really Gross Questions about Bodily Functions."

It's more than a little embarassing, but for quite a while now after a bowel movement, I, um, can't seem to, well, get myself cleaned up completely. ACK! There, I said it! Has anyone else had this problem? I wipe and wipe, and think I'm all set, then later when I go to the bathroom again, there's STILL some there. Or is this possibly a non-hormone related problem?????

Hi freakofnature.....I like your name. We've probably all felt that way from time to time.

I had to smile when I read your post. Yes, that happens to me. I have a nice little clump of hemorrhoids that I've had for 29 years due to pregnancy and childbirth.

Kinda scared to touch this, but I think this happens to everyone. I have heard that if you press down like you are having a bowel movement and wipe at the same time, you won't have the problem with leftovers. Haven't tried it myself, but it's worth a try.


Patrice

OMG.....Leftovers!!!!!!..........ROTFLOL!!!!!!

hey freakofnature: ABSOLUTELY go for the "flushable" baby wipes you see in all the shopper markets/target/walmart/cvs etc. I have two sons in college that swear by them as well. They keep them discretely hidden in their bureas at college but they love them. I have them in both my b.r.'s at home. They come in a very subtle box to keep on the bathroom counter and they stay nice and them moist for your use! Try them and see what happens! And this happens to everyone YOUNG as well as OLD!!! good luck! momrek06

Interesting that you brought this up. I find I have lots and lots of creases and things that I never had before that make this a bit difficult! You're not alone!

ayup, count me in too freakiE!

I have been using baby wipes for ohhhhhh, about 10 years now. I keep some in my purse and car too at all times and the "bearing down" that wards off the "leftovers" as Biggie posted.

Its just a nusiance aint it...

Sincerly,
Ma'dame Brown Streaks

DaMomma!......OMG!!!......LMAO!!!!!!

Freak of nature. I have this problem too. It's horrible because if you can't clean yourself up properly you can get itchy and infected. My doctor told me baby wipes were kind of OKAY - but it was much BETER to use Preperation H wipes because they have witch hazel which is cooling and healing. I use them ALL the time!! Bit expensive though..........Rita

I think that it comes with age. Every thing that was once smooth and supple puckers up and everything that was puckered up becomes smooth. Hence the "Klingons". It not only happens with we Women, let's remember our Husbands Skivvies with their "Skid Marks". Some time even the baby wipe isn't enough and a quick soap up, rinse off and dry up is necessary.
If it ever becomes the "Ring of Fire" then an application of Penaten ointment helps alot.
So "FreakofNature", you are not alone in the least. We all seem to have our own coping stratagies.

Linderful

Thank you all so much! Never thought about it being the 'rhoids. I've had them since I was a teenager. I got some of the baby wipes yesterday after reading your responses. I've never seen the Preparation H wipes, but will look for those.

Gee, isn't it great to know that every time I go to the bathroom now, I'll think of you guys! Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it???

I have a little container of travel size wipes that I found in the sample area of KMart. I keep those in my bag for use at work. And, I use the 'adult' wipes instead of the baby wipes because they don't smell so much like a baby.

baby wipes - but make sure you get the flushable kind... some kinds aren't flushable.
but the baby wipes do leave you a little damp down there so when I'm home i use Burt's Bees baby powder afterwards - it just keeps everything dry.

Isn't it horrible to have to discuss things like this? But that's the only way to find out that you're not alone and be able to get some helpful advice.

I have a lot of problems with this getting clean issue as well. I too am tired of the "skidmarks". I've gotten to the point that I wipe my bottom even when I am just urinating, just to catch any leftover debris. Sometimes I seem to be wiping forever! It's those times that I think I need more fiber in my diet. When I've been eating properly (granted not a common event around here), I've noticed my stools don't have that clay-like consistency that takes multiple wipes to remove. Things are clean with a flick of the wrist.

Not to beat a dead horse, but we're friends here right? A male friend of my mother's years ago took a shower after EVERY bowel movement. He didn't feel TP got him clean enough. He preferred to wash it away.

All this wiping and wiping made me think about the actress (I can't remember her name) that publicly said people should only use 4 SQUARES of toilet paper when using the bathroom!! This was sometimes last year. The media went crazy over it! Does anyone remember that?? It was some sort of "conservation thing."

There are only three of us in my house and we go through 12 rolls a week!!!

well here's the flip side, I've wiped so hard I popped a hemorroid out

I want to say I proudly belong to this club and have found a way to make it work for me - when I Know that my husband is feeling frisky and I am soooooooooooo not into it, I make sure I tell him I have "doody butt" and it takes the wind right out of his sails - better than "not tonight honey, I have a headache" YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS **** UP - SO TO SPEAK lol

XXOXOXOXOXOX pOOKISH

POOKS YOU 'CRACK' ME UP!

Oh my!!! LOL

OMG Pookish ....LMAOPIMP ..... I must remember that one

Rox

[quote name='freakofnature' date='Dec 8 2005, 01:30 PM' post='107086']
Wasn't sure where to post this. Couldn't find anything titled "Really Gross Questions about Bodily Functions."

It's more than a little embarassing, but for quite a while now after a bowel movement, I, um, can't seem to, well, get myself cleaned up completely. ACK! There, I said it! Has anyone else had this problem? I wipe and wipe, and think I'm all set, then later when I go to the bathroom again, there's STILL some there. Or is this possibly a non-hormone related problem?????

ha ha. my hubbys undies get messy i tell him after he wipes then use the disposable wipes that flush down the tolet. they are wet and moist and comfy. hope it works for you. lindy

ha ha ha lmao oh my God pookish that was funny, butt haha just sit in the tub for awhile before sex ha ha nice to see u again. lindy

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed a good laugh today, OMG, I've got tears running down my face!

LOL

I mean it's not funny, but it's funny, you know? We can all be open with each other...lol

This is some funny s***!!!!!

The technical term is "Wipe-forevers"...and yes, I, too, suffer this inconvenient malady.

Scotts moist wipes are a godsend and I take them everywhere. It doesn't stop them, but it takes care of irritation caused by dry TP.

Every once in a while, if I'm a good girl and eat lots of salads and other roughage I will get a "bonus". You wipe once...twice...nothing...Then you wipe a third time just to be sure you didn't miss any hitchhikers...

Sadly, those are few and far between.

God bless you, you really made my day!

ROTFLMAO @ Klingons!!!

I think everyone whether they'd admit it or not has left some skid marks once in awhile

The old saying goes, What do the starship enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons!!


DID I JUST SAY THAT?

ROFLMAO, elder!!!

I wonder if that is why 'Tiny Tim' (remember him?) said he used to take up to 9 showers a day??

LMAO Yeah i remember him


Well if he did take all those showers he still didn't look any better for em'

Tip toe.... through the tulips.... through the tulips....will you marry me oh tip toe through the tulips with meeeeeeeeee

TOO FUNNY !

I use wet towlettes to clean up
You can get them in the toilet paper aisle - kinda like what we used for our kid's bottoms when we changed their diapers... They are flushable and meake you feel really fresh and clean.

TUCKS also has a towlette for hemmorhoids - very nice.

You are definately not alone.

my ex used to call them "cling ons"

You have no idea how happy I was to see this post. I thought there as something wrong with me. I even searched the internet once and couldn't find much about this problem and I wasn't about to ask my doctor about it . I wipe and wipe and wipe. Sometimes I feel like I have gone through a whole roll of toilet paper and then I end up taking a quickie shower down there! I hate it! But I am so relieved that I am not the only one! I was afraid my muscles down there were on the fritz and I was leaking or something! Yuck!

My family calls them Will Nots, because they will not come off One Christmas my aunt left the house in a huff, she had just married my Uncle and had never heard the saying before so they were teasing her about Will Nots, well she insisted on knowing and was so embarrassed that she stormed out of the house. LMAO. Jill

Now that's a funny story Jill!

Kaz, it may be gross but it is oh so TRUE. I believe it is due to our spincter muscle becoming loose and flacid. I used to be amazed how my parents could so easily pass gass and not be able to control it. My fiance is 52 and I swear gas just flies out of him and he used to be so proper. He says he can't control it. I remember when his mom visited from New York last year and she bent down to pick up the channel changer and just let one rip. Loud. She didn't even know it either. My fiance and I looked at each other and cracked up. It must be the same reason it's hard to get a clean wipe.....lol....

Sounds like something Madonna would say

Oh, she would love getting together with my family for dinner--trust me, nothing is sacred!