I have to talk about this because it seems to be botherng me a lot. Is it lack of self esteem when you get exageratedly upset, crying feeling devastated if someone gets mad at you for your opinion on something? I've always had a fear of anger and aggression and always try to aviod sticky situations that make me feel uncomfortable - like people having a fight in front of me for example. I always want people to like me - which I'm told most people feel - but it seems to be more lately, every little critisism gets me all emotional and teary and - inside, ANGRY, I have to say - not that I would every get mad back at anyone, I don't have the nerve to do that. Maybe that WHY I get angry because I don't stand up for myself.......... I sound pathetic. Rita

Le' Pew, ..Im gonna PM ya in the mornin Hun...right now Im so tired Im not thinking straight..and I want to be "wit it" when talkin with ya..ok...

your ok, ...HUGS!!!!

You don't sound pathetic at ALL.....this is what we deal with on the 'stinking journey of peri'......oh sorry.....'the beautiful journey of womanhood'....better? Anyways......I'm pretty sure that a shorter fuse is partially hormonal but ya know what? I also think that, women in particular, get to a certain point in their life and they get tired of listening to crap from others that is uneccessary, untrue, inflammatory etc ect ect......we just get sick of it......and whether you can articulate a response to them or not......or just say to yourself inside......'you're a butthead'......don't kick yourself for being honest.......now if you threw them down and stepped on their throat and yelled at them......I'd be concerned......but never apologize for an honest response.........heh.......

Canuck
Thank you for your response - it certainly made me feel a lot better!!! Rita

My self esteem has suffered over the past few years, too. Well, not really my self esteem, but more like my self-confidence. Dealing with the symptom of vaginal dryness, left me feeling old and unattractive and like a disappointment to my amazingly wonderful DH. He swears up and down that he understands, but I still feel like a disappointment.

The dizziness, crashing fatigue, and migraines interfere with my daily routines sometimes, like my ability to go to the supermarket, or to work, or to make dinner or straighten up the house, or even socialize with friends. So I'm left feeling bad about myself and guilty because of it.

And finally, the night sweats/shakes are so scary that I have become less confident in my body as a whole. I seem to have lost faith in the idea that I am a strong, healthy woman. It's as if I'm always on the lookout for a symptom or sign that something "bad" is happening in my body.

All of those things together have taken a big chunk out of my self-confidence. The things that used to make me feel good about myself---my sex life with my husband, my good energy, putting in good, productive hours at work, feeling motivated to be creative and social, feeling strong and healthy---seem to be overshadowed by the symptoms now.

Amen, sister.
My dh is very kind, but that is what it feels like...kindness.
There is something about meno that brings out the righteous indignation in you, isn't there? For me, it has made me much more political. That is very inconvenient, because my views are in opposition to everyone around me at work. And I do mean everyone...before the 2004 election every work party was a political party. I haven't quite figured out what to do about it. I love my work and my colleagues, I just disagree with them...but the few times I've opened my mouth I've paid for it in silent treatments, and so on. It's taken me years to break away from the herd mentality and figure out what I really believe and it is so frustrating to be in the middle of a propaganda machine that runs the other direction.
But that's about the anger.
The self-esteem...oh yeah. I've always been fine with the way I look, probably because I've always looked fine. I have now entered the invisible zone. Men look through me. Life is much easier when you have the power of being an attractive woman. I now feel dowdy, bloated, out of control in my weight. It's hard to find cute clothes that I don't look pregnant in. Yuuuuuuck!
I think it's hard to battle all these fronts at once...sleep deprivation, looks, emotions, being out of control...just one I could take, but WOW, no one told me I would be like this at the tender age of 47

I'm so glad I found this site! I've always been a confident person but since I've started going through peri, I look at myself in the mirror and get irritated with the way I look. I completely sympathize with the "pregnant" look--good lord but I'm bloated and then my thinning hair and the zits popping out all over. I feel like a total mess and then I start thinking everyone else thinks I look like a total mess. I never had a problem with vaginal dryness but now I've had to start using lubricants because it was getting very irritating having sex with my dh. Some days I make it through fine and other days I just wish someone would haul me in for an ambush makeover!