Just want to start by saying this site is simply awesome – one stop shopping for everything perimeno, meno and postmeno related! So glad I stumbled upon it.

I’m a perimeno newbie … but, I’m gaining knowledge quickly thanks to the resources and info on this site.

I’m 46 and, at present, I’m experiencing the following typical symptoms that have been expressed by many on this forum:

Brain fog
Inability to make decisions that were easy in the past
Breast soreness preperiod – ends when period starts
Weight gain – okay, I’ll admit that this was mostly due to bad food choices on my part!
Heavier periods – worse cramps
Anxiety (not debilitating)
Positive people annoy me most of the time
Have to force myself to be cheerful – not sure I’m succeeding
Lack of interest in hobbies/activities I was previously passionate about
Indifference to the beauty around me
Mood swings
Don’t even know who I am or know how to get back to being the person I was

I’m not and have never been prone to outbursts – so, it’s especially difficult to go thru this holding everything in. My mother was one who ranted and raved and our family motto at the time was “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” I’ve sworn not to carry on that torch. Making my entire family miserable would only make me feel worse, no gain there.

While I wouldn’t wish this time of life on anyone, it’s comforting to read the posts and know that at least I’m not alone. I work full-time outside our home and it’s really difficult to put on a positive front all day when I really want to just crawl into a corner and be alone. My two sons are grown (in their 20’s) and it’s just DH and I at home. My female relatives are all out of state. So, it’s a little difficult for me to find someone to vent to – the guys in my life wouldn’t understand and DH would just feel helpless that he can’t make things better.

This is silly I know – I would journal, but my fear is that my entries would all be negative and doom and gloom at this point and if anyone found my journal, they’d probably have me committed!!!

I do a pretty good job of putting on a happy face, but sometimes I’d just like to be all alone for a while.

There, that feels much better. Thanks for letting me vent!

Oops - forgot to add that DH and I are building our dream home and I'm not even excited. It's something we always looked forward to doing and I'm so indifferent about it (although I outwardly express excitement) that it frightens me. I should be ashamed!

Welcome Punkin! I'm kinda new here myself. I am 39. I can relate to feeling like you don't have the same level of interest in things you used to enjoy, or in things like building your house!

I feel like there are very few things that appeal to me more than just being at home in front of the TV! The very idea of "fun" seems to hold no meaning for me anymore. I really enjoy my time alone, and since I don't work outside the home I am able to get a lot of time alone, thank goodness! Even having hubby around on the weekends seems to drain me. I feel that it takes so much energy to get out of the house that I usually just stay home.

I can also relate to the anxiety that is perhaps not debilitating, but it definitely affects my choices in how I spend my time. I don't like going to stores anymore. I avoid making plans with friends because I'm not sure if I will end up feeling anxious if I'm at their house or if we're in a restaurant. I don't like going anywhere where I'm not in control or where I might feel trapped.

Do you feel this way too? Does anybody else feel this way?

Thanks for sharing, and for helping me feel like I'm not alone!

rsgreen-

I feel TOTALLY the same way! I'm perfectly happy to sit on the sofa in my favorite tshirt and comfy shorts and never leave that spot. I, too, dread making plans - and, if I do, I'm very tempted to cancel them.

I'm forcing myself to have dinner with DH, DS and his new girlfriend tonight. Typically, I would be thrilled to do this. But now, I dread having to interact and "put on a happy face." And, his girlfriend is the absolute sweetest person in the world - sometimes though, I feel worse around positive people - they have no idea what I'm going thru.

Fortunately, so far I've been able to keep my true feelings a secret from my family - they probably notice that I'm a little quieter and less outgoing, but the negativity and cynicism is kept at bay.

I really should keep a picture of myself in my pocket so I can look at it from time to time as a reminder of who I used to be!

I have finally come to accept the "new me" that is more introspective, less energetic, more in need of pampering, less sociable, etc. It made me tired and anxious to fight it, so if I embrace the new me and take good care of her, I figure I will feel better. And I do hold out hope that the old me will come back to some extent when this is all over. (Which I hope is sooner rather than later!)

This site has been such a blessing! Most of my friends are younger than me, so I don't really have others to talk to about these things.

You're right - accepting ourselves as we are is best - much less stressful than trying to be something we're not. It may take me a little while to totally do that, though ... especially since I've just recently made myself come to the realization that I'm actually old enough to be going thru this! LOL

I've been in denial for years - my body continued to age, but in my mind, I was still twenty-something. Not a very healthy approach! Only problem is ... hope I don't go from 20 to 80 overnight!!!!

Yes, I too am trying to convice myself that I'm old enough to be going though this...and I'm 39! I will be turning 40 in a few months, and I think it will feel more acceptable then, LOL!

When did this all start for you?

I've had the symptoms for about 6 months (didn't realize it til now) - honestly, I don't think I had any symptoms before that. Have made an appt with a femal Ob/Gyn who specializes in menopause. Can't wait to talk to her.

Welcome to PS Punkin. (P.S. LOVE the name.......it's what I call my daughter! ) You sound JUST like the rest of us gals around here! You're going to love this place.....I've been hanging around here for a LONG time, and plan on being here for allot longer the way my menopause is dragging out! That plus I've met many fantastic people here that have become friends along the way.

Nice meeting you and I hope you find this site as useful as I have!
HUGS!

Welcome Punkin,

So glad you found us. I'm 46 too and have similar symptoms as you. My worst ones are the brain fog/spacey feelings, being dizzy when walking, and the constant anxiety. Oh yeah, not sleeping well at night adds to the fun !

Like you, I work full time outside the home (elementary teacher) and it's very difficult to keep that social "face" on the entire day. For parents, students and
colleagues. It absolutely drains me.

I can relate to what you said about the low emotional energy you feel now. Me too. I really wish I could work in the home or in a quiet place painting eyeballs on dolls. A job that wouldn't require alot of forced, happy social interaction from me.

Welcome. Glad you're here. You'll always find someone to talk you. Or just read the posts if you don't feel like typing !!

suzy

Suzy,

I am sooo with you on the teaching thing. I just hope I can find my happy face to put on. I also fantisize about a job with no stress and no talking...Mail carrier comes to mind, but right now, that seems too physical. How long have you been teaching?
JP

JP,

I was sitting on my porch yesterday watching my mail carrier walk towards my house and I thought, "that would be a really nice job to have. No talking on the phone to crazy parents, no stage-acting for a whole class, no asinine meetings from 3:30 until 5:30, etc. Just walking and putting mail in boxes." Hmmm... sounds good.

I've been teaching a total of 7 years. And I took 9 years off to be a stay at home mom. Those were the BEST years !! But when divorce comes along, you need income so back to teaching I went. The social thing is difficult, especially with this peri monkey on your back all day. I took a quarter of a xanax this morning before I left to quiet my nerves (it worked) but I had a hard time staying alert and
focused during the various meetings we had today.

What about you?

suzy

Hey Suzy,

I just got back from 2 1/2 hours of standing in line to register my daughter at the HS, and it nearly did me in. I take ativan for anxiety, but I'm worried too about being zoned out. It certainly doesn't help with the energy problem. How long have you had symptoms? And did you teach last year? I have had numb tingly arms and legs for several days now...my period is starting now...I also have huge brain fog. Sometimes its so hard to concentrate. But, the good news is they don't think I have MS. I guess that means I have to stop with the health anxiety and just accept that this is PM....so hard when the periods are still pretty regular. How old are your kids? I was really lucky to be able to take time off last jan when this hit me....I was falling apart at school and just soooo exhausted all the time. I am better than I was then, but still not right. I would love a magic pill, but I've tried a bunch and haven't found it yet. Hopefully once we are back in a routine, it will be easier...positive thinking!

JP

JP,

I also stood in line for about 3 hours at my son's high school tuesday morning to pick up parking pass - it almost did me in too! My left leg and knee were numb for over a day !

My kids are 14 and 18. Really great people. My peri symptoms started about almost 2 years ago with the internal buzzing in my torso and muscle spasms in my legs and arms. Brain fog and anxiety also began at this time. The spacey brain is my absolute worst symptom. I had to contribute to a discussion in our grade level meeting today and I just couldn't seem to articulate reasonable sounding comments. It is so frustrating. You haven;t gone back yet? It was great that you could take time off - I just don't have that option. What ages are your children?

suzy

Hi Suzy,

Well, at least you made it through the first couple of days. I hope once I do that, it will feel natural and normal... I just get soooo tired. My kids are 12 and 16, both girls. They have been troopers since I got sick in Jan, but it has certainly taken a toll. I would love to have my old self back. I am giving Zoloft a try now....I am suffering from anxiety and depression, so I really hope it helps...I don't have any fun anymore, I don't know what happened to my laugh and smile. It sound like we have had lots of the same symptoms...muscle twitches and aches etc....not fun. I've had some night sweats, but no hot flashes...Wish I could be normal.I've been teaching for 23 years and I really need to make it work this fall. It was hard for me to take time off...both the mental part and the financial part. I am still having pretty normal periods, so I think I may be in this peri hell for awhile...I'm 45. So I think I need to learn how to cope and work... We have meetings Mon-Wed., then kids on Thurs. I will be thinking about you....

JP

[B]Thank GOD there are other women just like me! I am 46 and have had so many symptoms of perimenopause. I don't feel like moving on the weekends (days off) I have no motivation to even leave the house sometimes. I've gained weight, but I don't even feel like eating half the time. I posted more of my symptoms on the message board. Until now I have not been able to find a website for women with perimenoupause. This is a great place to be able to confirm that our physical and mental symptoms of perimenopause are finally VALIDATED and we don't have to scare ourselves into a panic attack!!! Very COOL!!! Thank God I'm not having a stroke or a heartattack or something!!! And all this stuff going on is NORMAL!!!!

P.S..... I TOO AM A TEACHER! I CAN TOTALY RELATE to putting on the fake face and trying to cope with meetings after school when all you want to do is lay down in the floor with a pillow and a blanket and take a nap!!! HA! This is great! I thought I was dying or something! Thank God for this website and friends I can relate to! My son is 19 and off to college this fall! I'm alone at home now and I must say.... being able to lay around in my shorts and tank top on the weekends in the AIR CONDITIONING AND the FANS ON is kinda nice! It's my little cave!


Sassy1NTENN

Hey JP & Sassy,

JP, we have children coming on Thursday too. I hope it gets easier too. The first thing I do when I get home is put on comfortable clothes and hit the couch! And
it has been SO HOT here in the south this year - can't wait for cooler days in the fall.

JP, hope you do okay on the Zoloft. I couldn't tolerate it. It seems like I don't tolerate any prescription meds like I used to - must be the peri thing. I'm still having periods too (although they're changing a bit) and no hot flashes yet. Only a couple of night sweats.

Sassy, I agree that this site saved my sanity too. I would surf the web at night trying to figure out what was wrong with me and I stumbled onto PowerSurge. Thank God for these women. I feel a lot better after reading some of their posts.

Take care, both of you. Good luck with teaching this year. I will leave you both a personal message with my e-mail address.

Hugs,

suzy

Hi Sassy,

What are your symptoms? I am sooo nervous about tomorrow. I am not able to make it through the day at home without laying down...how am I gonna make it all day at school. I hope some energy kicks in. What do you teach?

JP

Hi, all! Just curious - I'm new to this site and perimeno ... I found that this month, I felt totally awful with anxiety, depression, irritability, a migraine, sore breasts and severe cramps preperiod. Then, when my period started, the symptoms went away and I started feeling like my old self again.

I never experienced this many symptoms and such severe symptoms in the past and now I'm terrified of a repeat performance next month.

So ... not only do we get to feel yucky, but when we feel good, we live in fear of feeling bad again! LOL <_<

Ya know..reading up at the posts a bit further up it really hit me that you all sound like I have been feeling the past few weeks about my age..I am ONLY 36..and it never has really bothered me until..this whole weird out body thing happened last weekend..LOL..and now..I was reading something about exercising and it said "if you are over 35 and/or sedentary consult your doctor"..WHY?? LOL..it really hit me weird to think..geez I'm in the "older" category now? And then I was reading something else that said they took people to age 35 and I was thinking..I couldn't do that! (mind you..it was not something I even WANTED to do..but..)..I really feel like WHOA..where did my 20 year old-ness go?

However..I guess we do have to realize we still have a LOT of good years in us..but to embrace the "new" us..sigh..an interesting stage in our lives to say the least!

Know what you mean ... can't believe I've been living in a denial bubble - woke up one morning and realized I was 46! What a shocker. Since turning 40, I actually stopped counting when my birthday rolled around each year. It's not that I want to be young forever, but like Christie Brinkley says in a current commercial, "I don't mind being (insert age), I just don't want to look like it!" (Or something to that effect).

Lately though, I guess I just don't want to FEEL like it! At present, I'm not experiencing brain fog, but I'm really dreading a month from now when it may hit again. It was worse for me pre-period.

I've decided that I'm just not going to dwell on my symptoms and will try to distract myself by obsessing on a healthy lifestyle instead - exercising regularly, eating healthy and getting plenty of rest and relaxation, surrounding myself with POSITIVE people, avoiding negative people when I can, researching all I can on perimeno and meno to be really prepared, along with doing things that I really enjoy ... gardening, walks with DH, visiting our children, baking, etc.

Oh well, it's a start, right?

P.S. ... Does anyone know if there's a way to edit posts? As soon as I hit the ADD REPLY button, I invariably find a typo!

Hey PUNKIN....

Just send Personal Messages, via email... it works! I totally relate to you and stuff that's going on!

Good to have more in my BOAT! I just hope it doesn't sink.

I'm like you... I've tried to work out when I feel good, diet, etc. It's difficult sometimes.... I need someone here to SOMEONE I can encourage! Hmmmmm....


The life of a mid life woman! Go FIGURE

Punkin

Before you send the post, just click on the preview post button and you can re-read what you have written before sending it. When you have made any corrections, just click the add reply and it will send the message.

Kim

Kim-

Due to my brain fog , I don't seem to see my typos even after previewing the post! LOL

Some forums allow the capability of going back and editing a message after it's posted.

I'll just try to make sure I crawl back into my body before I hit that ADD REPLY button!

Punkin

I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes I read my posts two and three times and still find mistakes..

Kim