Hi,  I'am trying to figure out if a period comes only if ovualtion occurs.  I'am 43 and get an ocassional period.  I'am trying to figure out why some woman still get periods at 51 can they still be ovulating or is estrogen still circulating in their bodies?  I know someone with no eggs left that still has periods. This is what puzzles me.  I think I have eggs, but polycystic somewhat.  I don't want children, but I'am so depressed most of the time I don't want to get out of bed anymore.  I need to understand all of this before i go back to my doctor.  She says "after 35 estrogen declines rapidly"  so can you understand what I mean I don't understand why do some woman older than myself have estrogen if it declines so rapidly?  Thanks for any info Kc

Hi Kec.  My understanding is that even very young and healthy women can occasionally have a period during which they do not ovulate but nevertheless menstruate.  When I was younger and getting fertility treatments, I kept a basal temperature chart and there were a couple of occasions where I didn't ovulate and yet menstruated at the end of a period. Usually for me these were short periods--three weeks or so, then three days or so of very light bleeding--but they happened to me in my twenties. (I suffer from polycystic ovary syndrome-- PCO.)

My understanding is that estrogen decreases gradually for every woman after the age of 25 or so but that in most cases the decrease is imperceptible/insignificant until one turns 40. After that, it looks like the luck the draw. Some women are ovulating and able to bear children into their mid fifties. Others go into menopause in their late 30s and stop ovulating by 45.

I am 47 and like you I think of older women who are not going through menopause yet and I think "It isn't fair!" I also feel a little tricked because I had expected the change to come more gradually, and I am suddenly afraid.

I didn't want any more children, but I am also sad that I can't have any more. At the same time, I have done my arithmetic. If I were to have a child today, I would be retirement age before the child was old enough for college. Clearly, it is wise of nature to make it difficult for older women to conceive. At the same time, it seems very inconsiderate of nature to give us hot flashes, irregular periods and all the other inconveniences instead of just letting the ovaries close down and letting us go merrily about the business of enjoying the next thirty or forty years of our lives.  

I have had regular periods all of my life, in fact 28 day cycles. I'm 45 and just skipped one. It's weird! My husband (who had a vasectomy 20 years ago) keeps teasing me to get a pregnancy test! Augh! That's even scarier!!! I guess it's funny to want a period!! My mom died when I was young so I don't know her history but her sister stopped her periods at age 35 from stress. I'm wondering if I'm just going to stop like that also?

Hi Sally.  My grandmother's periods stopped suddenly at age 42 when she went through some terrible stress, but that was not the pattern for my mother (who certainly had enough stress in her 40s) and it doesn't seem to be for me. I thought, after 3 months with no periods or signs of ovulation that this might be it, but then I had one more period and the signs are all pointing that I may ovulated this cycle also (doesn't seem to make the hot flashes less though). I think this whole menopause business is really confusing.

Hi,  Thank you for your responses.  I have alot of stress and I think this was brought on by SERVERE stress.  My mom lost her home and business and I think I lost my mind too and my periods stopped.  My doctor does not help me with this she let me go home with nothing not even hormones I had to ask for something like birth control.  Does anyone know why stress does this?  I have read so many books and my mom says I should try to understand it is the time of change, but  I'am having a hard time . I have servere mood swings and severe depression,  I hate all of this and I guess it only will get worse right? My poor sister is 49 and she began at 43 and has had hot flashes all of these years. She wont take anything, she also had STRESS at the time too now that I think of it.  Thanks for the info, Kc

Hi Sally...my periods were disgustingly regular too  Every 28 days.  I could set a clock by them.

I was around your age when they started getting a little strange (I will be 50 in Oct).  When it first dawned on me that I might be going through perimenopause, I felt very very sad.  Didn't want any more children, but felt like I was "less than a woman" because I probably could no longer have them.  Actually, I hadn't used birth control since my last child was born in 1974 and nothing ever happened...perhaps I was starting to be anovulatory even back then.

But anyway....I felt the same as you.  It made me sad to think that I would no longer have a period someday.  It meant (to me) the loss of my femininity.

And then....

I started getting the clots and the flooding and all the rest of the icky stuff and I changed my mind fast, let me tell you!  ;)

Now I can't wait for it all to end...  yippeeee!!!!

Hope your transition is a pleasant one...

Thanks for all of the advise ladies. I'm looking forward to all of the "fun" you've described. I think I'll stock up on ice packs for the hot flashes, waders for the floods and Captain Morgan Coconut rum (with pineapple juice) for the rest!

Ellenna,    Thank you for your information.  I began changing cycles at 371/2 and exctly 4 years later at 40 1/2 they get very odd, so it makes sense that late 30's changes begin, but at 40 it is very true it becomes significant. I wish I would have stayed on the pill or something since 37 so I wouldnt have to think about this 24-7 I would not have know what was happening or if I was going through it, it would have been better for me mentally.  I hope others will follow this advice. Thanks Kim