Let me being by apologizing for this post being so long, because I know it will be!

I've been "in" menopause now for over two years, just turned 52 in January. I feel like I am reaching the point where I'm actually considering taking synthetic HRT. My doctor has worked with me these two years and we've tried many "natural" remedies", some of which work for some things and some of which don't work at all.

I 've run the gamut of depression, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, you name it. I've taken natural progesterone in a creme form for hot flashes (for almost a year), take calcium supplements, vitamin E, tried soy, cohash, take a multi vitamin each day... Right now I've been on a tablet form of a tri-est formula that is natural and compounded by my pharmacy. I also take a tablet form of testosterone, also compounded by my pharmacy, because I have ZERO libido. I also have a touch of osteoporosis which has responded favorably to Actonel and I've seen an actual reduction in the last year with no apparent side effects of any kind. I've had a few health issues in the last couple of years unrelated to menopause (shoulder surgery, foot surgery and a broken toe!) but all has turned out well on those fronts. Menopause is now the only battle I am waging!

I am 52, as I said, but people are surprised to find out my age - I'm often told I look like I'm under 40 - good genes, I think. My Dad is 78 and looks about 60! I have my share of wrinkles too but, in general, I am in good shape, not overweight, I eat "healthy", don't smoke and drink very little.

The hot flashes have subsided considerably. The night sweats are better but my mood swings, crying jags, zero libido and depression are not getting any better. I've been on the tablet forms of these natural remedies for almost a year now (the testosterone and tri-est formula.)

I was married for 19 years and left that marriage because it was totally devoid of intimacy and, what I considered, should have been a natural sex life with my ex. I hadn't had sex with him for almost 10 years!!! We had been to counseling repeatedly until it finally reached the point where there was no hope it was ever going to change. I have since found out that he apparently had homosexual tendancies which, to my knowledge, he never acted on. I don't know what he's doing now and don't care.

I was 48 years old at the time. I met a wonderful man and we married two years after meeting. Our sex life was wonderful, I felt alive, desired and all those good things that a good sex life can give a woman. Then menopause hit. At first I felt I could get thru this by sheer will power. And tried to for a while.... Then I started on the natural progesterone/tri-est cycle and the testosterone to help, I thought, with other symptoms. My doctor, at one point, prescribed Wellbutrin but I didn't like the spacey feeling from that nor the fatigue - I was sleeping my life away!

The worst part of all this is I have no desire to make love with my husband and feel it's a cruel joke that I left a marriage devoid of sex for almost 1/2 my life only to find and marry a man who I had great sex with to two years later and now I have no libido. THIS ISN'T FAIR!

My husband has been very supportive but this is stressing our marriage to the max. He is a vibrant, great lover and I'm looking for ways to avoid going to bed at night because I have NO desire at all. My doctor prescribed the testosterone for this reason alone and after almost a year, there is NO improvement. Until my libido deserted me, I was handling the other symptoms I had in a pretty good way with a good attitude. Now, I hate my life. I cry because of this, I am sad because of this and I am depressed because of this. Everything in my life is being affected by the fact that my brain isn't telling my body to respond, to be aroused easily like I USED to be. I have to FORCE myself to make love to the man I love deeply.

I don't have any dryness, I have no trouble climaxing WHEN I can get my head to tell ME to respond to my husband. It's just that it's so few times that I can actually "get into" us making love that it is killing me slowly.

I always said I would NEVER take synthetic HRT but I am now wondering if this is my only solution to this problem. Does HRT, in fact, help restore libido?? Is there anything good in it that would help?

Also, what exactly is "bioidentical HRT"? Does it help with night sweats, depression, and low libido?? Is it ONE thing you can take or a mix and match, hit and miss, kind of things??

Does anyone here have any suggestions?? I feel as tho' the clock is running out on me to keep trying things that don't work. I've spent two years now going thru all this and have really gotten no relief from feeling that I'm some sort of asexual being now. I read tons of material on low libido and menopause and the general consensus is that there is NOTHING that helps restore a low libido. Men have all kinds of help, where is ours??? I am sure this is a very REAL problem for many of us here and I am looking for any advice/help anyone may have. Thank you so much for reading this if you got this far...

Hi TunieV,

So sorry to read about all you have been through. You asked a question about bioidentical HRT. It is just that. It is hormones that are identical to what the body produces. Synthetic HRT is in man made. They do not match what the body produces. Take Premarin for example. The hormones in it comes from pregnant horse urine. Obviously, we don't produce that. They like to say the Premarin is natural but its only natural if we were horses.

Anyway, is it possible that you are not getting enough testosterone? It might be helpful if you go to the thread on the Power Surge message boards that is title Sexual Issues/ Low Libido/Testosterone and read what some of the women are saying there. I just read that one post by a women is getting testosterone injections and that without her injections she has no libido at all. Maybe thats something for you to look into.

I too have suffered from low libido. I found out just last week that my testosterone level is extremely low. I also do not want to use anything by bioidentical hormones so I am trying that first and I hope it makes a difference. I hope you find some answers and can have the relationship with your hubby that you have had before. It is wonderful that he is being understanding. I too have a very understanding hubby and actually we have both been suffering from low libido. He had some testing done and found that his testosterone was way too low as well. So we have been in this thing together.

Hang in there. Don't give up.
Maeflower

My Story

I am probably the oddball on this forum being on HRT for the last 15 years. But I still would like to share my experiences with you. Hoping it will help you make an informed decision about whether to take synthetic HRT.

I went thru menopause at 46 and noticed (being an avid tennis player) I lost strength in all my joints and they ached whenever I even lifted a grocery bag. I also had the depression, loss of libido, not to mention many other things. I gave it a year or two and still couldn't play tennis. I decided to go on HRT. (btw I also wanted to resume my sex life like before) To me my quality of life was very important. And I needed physical activity for my mental and physical wellbeing.

I went on HRT and resumed tennis within six months. Not as strong as I once was before menopause but good enough for my age.

I continue to play tennis and be active as of this date. I am 60 now. Even when the NIH report came out. My hubby and I read it thoroughly and still thought the slight increase in stroke, etc. was worth the risk. Only recently do I feel like I want to lower my hormone intake, seeing I already got in 15 more years of good tennis. So I am lowering my dosage to the lowest possible at this time .5 mg estrace; 2.5 mg of progesterone. But I still don't plan on going off entirely because I do not want to give up a fairly good quality of life for one where I can barely carry packages, etc. Sometime in the future, when I'm really old, I might give them up. Or maybe not.

You make some good points.

My question is, isn't Estrace bio-identical? I thought I read that it was. I know it isn't the horse urine, so you've got that in your favor. The human body simply does NOT need equiline (horse hormone) pumped into it.

If my symptoms were bad enough, I'd probably try anything, like TunieV says she might do. But I get pretty fair control (well, some of the time!) with Climara .025 (really low dose). There are synthetics she could try that are not from horse urine (or based on the horse-hormone model). No one really has to add the 100 extra hormones unknown to the human body.

(Plus, there's no reason to use a progestin, when bio-identical Prometrium does just as good a job without the side effects of a progestin.)

Good luck Tunie.

Oh, good question... Is Estrace a bioidentical? Thanks so much, ladies, for your replies!

I just saw my doctor this morning. She is also post-menopausal too, having just informed me of that today! I think she hadn't before now because she may have just been uncomfortable about discussing HER own situation with a patient but since I've been her guinea pig now for almost two years, I think she felt it would help me knowing she's in the same boat!

She drew three vials of blood to check my hormone levels again and other things. Told me to double up on the testosterone until the bloodwork results come in, in about a week. The low libido has me so down and desperate. I am just not ready to throw in the towel on my sex life, especially since I'm in a fairly new relationship - my husband and I have been married just over two years. Our relationship, sex wise, was so wonderful until all this. Lack of it was the cause of the demise of my previous 20 year marriage and it just depresses me terribly now that my libido is pretty much non-existent. Seems like a cruel twist of fate somehow.

I don't have hot flashes as much as I used to but the night sweats are starting to increase again for some reason. I know I'm off kilter and have been for a while as far as my moods and slight depression but I also have had a lot of stress in my life for the last 4 years (divorce, moving, meeting someone new, getting married, taking on older stepkids and all that..)

She'll also be checking my liver,kidneys, cholesterol etc. as well. She wants to wait and see what my hormone levels are now before taking any "next steps."

I did tell her that I would be willing to try HT now since I am fairly desparate at this point having tried a number of things for the last two years. This seems like a pretty unfair reward for having lived a pretty decent, healthy life all these years. I know I am not alone in this and that, in itself, is very helpful too.

I really want to stay away from the synthetics, if I can so I am very curious about the Estrace. My doctor did say that it is possible for someone to be on HT for up to 5 years without as MUCH risk as staying on it for years and years so that's somewhat comforting but not really... Kinda in a quandry here but will have to wait and see what the tests tell us.

ashlynn, I more of an oddball than you, I'm sure. My husband and I haven't had sex for over ten years, but we're happily married and we are very affectionate with each other. My libido is also nonexistent, and so is his because he's on medication for diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, and depression. I know he has erectile dysfunction which started many years ago, but I never said anything because I don't want to upset and worry him about it. I don't even know which medication is perhaps causing a libido problem for him, but it doesn't matter to either of us as much as his health. Every year that I have with him is a blessing, and we have such a good time together that I don't need to actually have sex anymore. He's almost 60 and I'm 53. Yes, we were active sexually about 20 years ago, but now I'm content with having him hug me whenever I need it, and all the stuff we do together. We chase around the house, laugh, play tricks on each other, we go for bike rides, and I spend all of my time with him outside of working. There is no one I'd rather be with. I am happy and content, but I just don't need sex anymore.

I don't tak any HRT and just use the Revival, but I feel great.

I know this is a different point of view for most women, but I have no embarrassment about it, so I thought I'd throw it out there.

CSugar,

I just LOVE your post. Bet this is the case in so many households!!! My hub and I have "slowed down" a lot, too.

Just want to mention that erectile dysfunction is not uncommon with diabetes - it's not necessarily the meds.

Personally, I am SO THANKFUL my husband and I couldn't keep our hands off each other in our 20's!! These days with the dry vagina, saggy boobs, achy joints, etc. Sheesh - good thing we didn't know about all that then!!!

If we had known about this in our 20's we would probably have thought life wouldn't be worth living. I'm so glad we know better.

CSugar, I think it's great that you & hubby are "in the same place". Sounds like you have a beautiful relationship.

JJ, we've slowed down too but I've slowed ALOT more than hub. I feel bad about that but he says as long as I keep him informed as to what's going on with me then he can handle it. He says just so he doesn't have to wonder if I still love him. I guess I better keep him as long as he'll put up with me.

TunieV, I know it must be so much more difficult in a new relationship. I wish you the best sweets.

BZmum,

It is very sweet that your hub understands, but wants to be assured that you love him.

That is DEAR. You are lucky - I know some men go absolutely ballistic over this.

We are BOTH lucky.

Jacquie

I am sooooo frustrated. Went to my NP today for my yearly and really wanted to hear from her that she'd prescribe some bioidentical hormones for my hot flashes and lack of libido (went off BC Pill in April, no period since, 50 years old). Instead she said she doesn't believe in them, or hormone testing. Said hormones change hourly and testing is useless and expensive and that she'd never prescribe Testosterone for my lack of libido. Put me on Ortho-Est and Provera, low doses of both, and I had the scripts filled. Can anyone tell me what to expect from these plant derived hormones (but still synthetic)? Is it time for me to find a new NP? There is only one pharmacy in New Hampshire that compounds hormones...

My gut reaction? Find a new doctor. Yours doesn't "believe in" bio-identicals hormones? And no testosterone?? The Ortho-Est and Provera may be plant derived (don't know much about them myself) but they are still synthetics. And you sound as tho' you aren't exactly comfortable with taking these things.

I've been lucky I guess. My doctor has been working with me for over 2 years and I've always taken some form of natural progesterone or estrogen AND testosterone - just recently. She also has tested my hormones via blood drawings and saliva testing without question.

I also started on Revival which you will find information about on here. Been drinking the shakes now for about 3 weeks. Noticed an improvement in my energy level almost immediately and will stick with it for a while to see how it helps other symptoms.

I have to send my compound prescriptions in to a Rite Aid in Ohio (I live in Michigan) to get my stuff compounded and it's really easy for me to do this. I just fax in my refill order and, viola, two days later my stuff arrives. And it's inexpensive, less than $30. a month for two prescriptions.

I KNOW these natural compounds have helped my hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings.... and I'm hoping the testosterone will help with my non-existent libido - time will tell, just started on that.

I honestly think you need to see another doctor if only for a second opinion and peace of mind, my dear. I wish you the best of luck.

I meant to also say that I was pretty frustrated in April. Since getting on the bio-identicals again and being very faithful about using them, I've noticed a marked improvement in my hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings.... I had tried them before and didn't really use them like I should and I suffered for it! Now, I'm sticking with them and being good about following the directions! I learned they only work if you do what you're supposed to!! And results don't happen overnight!

I was toying with the idea of going on synthetics myself and now I'm glad I didn't.

First of all, in my experince (I get tested all of the time for hormone levels), hormone levels do not "change hourly" in 50-year-old women whose periods have stopped. Mine hardly vary at all, and I still have periods! After 50 (and for many women it is much earlier), hormones generally stay on the low side (like Dr. Gillespie says, the ovaries by age 50 are generally "two claws up"). Maybe earlier in peri, that would be true, but by your age the ups and downs are definitely slight.

As for Provera, that is a really nasty drug (read some of the threads on progesterone), with a lot of side effects.

Why can't your doctor at least prescribe a bio-identical patch (like Vivelle, Climara, etc.) with bio-identical progesterone (Prometrium)? These are regular, run-of-the-mill pharmaceuticals, not made by compounding pharmacies.

I'd try for those, if you want an opinion. And I'd most likely (most definitely, really) switch gyns. I want to make the decisions about my body and my doctor should only be my guide/assistant.

Hope you feel better soon.

I am quoting myself because I think I said that wrong. I'm sure hormones can change hourly, just like every other hormone in the body. I just think they change within a "lower" range when you are 50 and over and periods have stopped. My doctor said periods technically stop because there is not enough estrogen to have them.

Mine do change each blood test, but all the changes are in the really low range. I might go from 50 down to 38, for example, but both numbers are very estrogen deficient, according to my doctor. But he is treating within the range of fluctuations.

Now, if you are early peri, I'm sure you could sometimes shoot up to youthful levels, so definitely harder to adjust hormones with that going on. I guess that is where the hormone creams or gels would be beneficial, since you can just stop using it for a few days, if necessary, which I can't do with a patch (but haven't needed to, at least).

Aimee, thanks so much for your reply. I definitely don't feel good on this provera stuff. Been really angry and have a pain in my left temple (could be some other reason, but it's still unsettling). I don't have any peace about staying on this stuff, so I'm going to call my NP tomorrow and tell her so and insist on the things you suggested--which I have read about on PS message boards. If she doesn't agree to switch me to any of it, I'm done with her!

Thanks for the support and encouragement.

Tunie, I didn't go high enough in the thread to see you had responded to me also! Sorry! Thanks for letting me know what your bioidenticals cost per month--I was curious about that, and it sounds really reasonable. There is a pharmacy in NH that does this, so I don't have to get them out-of-state if I can get on them.

Appreciate everyone's help and encouragement. Trying to stay positive about this new phase in my life and some days it sure ain't easy <_<