I don't know what to say. I thought this was live chat and I could get some helpful information from some knowledgable females. My husband and I rarely have sex! This is a new senario for me. I was married from 1986-1999 to the same man and eventhough he was very mentally abusive and controlling, sex was always a part of our relationship. Sex was good and frequent. I am currently a year and a half into a new marriage and everything is great except for the sex. These are my only two relationships and I do not know which if either is the norm. I just feel deprived and unloved physically but know mentally and emotionally that there is no question about our love for each other. It is like we are best friends and companions but not lovers and it has truly stumped me. Not only that but it seems that I desire the sex and love making now more than ever. Is it me that is wrong...is it normal not to have sex at my age (40)? I feel that desire wise I am at my peak and I don't know what to do about it. Can anyone enlighten me and or give me any advice. My husband knows how I feel but does not seem to think anything about it.... I mean I think that he thinks he is doing it right and enough! Please help! Maybe I can figure out how to chat live...I am almost computer illiterate. beverly

sorry to hear your having trouble,i'm in almost the same boat,i have no sex drive either and i don't know what to do about it.I'm only 36 nut i've gone through chemo and i guess thats why i'm haveing a problem.I know that this doesn't help u but i just wanted u to know your not alone.

Oh, you misunderstood! I do have a sex drive greater than ever....my problem is from my husbands side! I crave sex constantly but might get it once a month if i'm lucky!

When I was in perimenopause, before my hysterectomy, my sex drive also increased - I assume as the estrogen decreased, the natural testosterone produced the increased response. Fortunately for me, my hubby "enjoyed" the increased desire. Many women do have an increase during perimenopause, so you are probably normal - your husband just has a lower desire than you at this time. Enjoy the surge - it may well decrease later. Mine stopped suddenly because of the hysterectomy & I'm now on testosterone which helps it be more normal again - not as high as during peri, but at least "enjoyable" again!

Zelma