In the past I wrote that my boyfriend and I were having problems once a month with what he refers to as my episodes. I kept telling him that I did not intentionally bring these on and felt that there had to be some kind of reason as to why I was continually having them. I blamed it on all of the emotional changes that had occurred in my life. Moving away from where I had been all my life, leaving my family and friends. Moving in with my boyfriend and suddenly becoming surrogate mom to his 11 year old for the whole summer (mom dropped her off and did not ask for her back until the day before school started.) Which don’t get me wrong I love her to death and would raise her as my own but I had just finished raising mine and felt like I needed some (me) time. All of this and trying to deal with the physical changes that woman have at my age and trying to do that on my own without help. Well I went for my check up and the results were in. The doctor told me I am definitely going through the change. So he prescribed me hormone replacements, and wellbutrin to help me get back on track. Well it’s been a week and already I feel better. Before I felt like something had s*ck the life and happiness out of me. I know in time I will just continue to get better. Here’s the catch though I know because of my outbursts and deeds I hurt my boyfriend and I know that it will take time for us to heal. What causes a person though to want to wallow in the hurt? I came home last night in a good mood to find him working on one of his car interiors and downloading music on the computer. He said hey listen to this it has meaning. Then he proceeded to play me a song from the Bob and Tom show about how a beer is better than a woman. Beer is best when it’s frigid. It don’t get mad if you take its top off and if it gets flat then you can just throw it out. Why did he not understand that I just didn’t find any humor in the song? He also downloaded ACDC PMS song to play for me. I felt like he was doing this to rub salt into a sore wound. He says he was just finding humor in the situation. How can I find humor in something that has damaged my relationship with the most important person in my life? Why would a person do this and if any of you were to have this done to you what would your reaction be. I am trying hard to rectify my mistakes. He says that he still loves me and still feels like we are good for each other. I asked him what he would do if I got better and stopped having these problems and he said I would probably marry you. So now I am left to feel that I will constantly be scrutinized. How do I get him to understand though that there may be times when we might possibly not agree on everything and that we may have a disagreement with each other? Of course I am not going to go looking for trouble. But I cannot go around being a yes woman all of the time if I feel that’s not the case. Every time I try to talk to him about the situation he will say he thinks we are fighting. Can a relationship heal itself if one person will not let go of the pain or is it just to soon for me to expect that?

B-Maybe you should download that song by the Dixie Chicks about "Earl?" See if he thinks that is funny!!!!!!!!If you don;'t know the song,tell him to download it for you!!I do believe that people can heal. I have done the same thing as you, in fact I did it the other night. Drivers on the way home from work were driving like idiots and by the time I got hom, I was in a really bad mood. Bf asked if I needed help in the kitchen and I barked at him. He only asked a simple question. I made some smart remark to him like "doyou think that you can get your own drink?????" as he was just sitting there. He just asked if I needed help and I said no.I know what you are going through. Bf left today for about 9 days of hunting, we need the break from each other. Glad the Wellbutrin is helping. I take 300 mg of it but I did have that side effect of ringing in my ears.I almost feel like I had this ringing before but never noticed it!!!!!To answer your question, people dont get over things in a day so give him some time.Like you said you aren't looking for trouble.Glad that you are on the right track to feeling better.