Yep, it's that time of year again. Time to be looking for good deals on the turkeys (and I don't mean gifts for the in-laws!) and finding a place to sleep for everyone. I don't suffer from the anxiety that many of you do, until the holidays roll around. Then I'm a total mess. I thought it may be helpful if we could post suggestions of how to get thru the holidays. Me, I have an in-law free zone in the house where my kids and I can retreat to, that has a TV & VCR. I give the turkey a deep muscle massage. And, I make sure to work out every day....even if it's just a LONG walk....actually, lots of walks....LOL. How about you? Michelle

What an EXCELLENT idea for a thread, MK! The holidays are so stressful for everyone, I don't have many ideas at the moment ( must be the huge book I already wrote in the other thread this morning LOL) but I wanted to Thank you for starting this thread, I think it's a FABUlous idea, as well as a way to share a little about ourselves and our own tradtions.... I think tryng to make sure you do the things that remid you of GOOD times is always a good idea. For me it is always about music - I've been singing since I was a tot, so Caroling, fave albums, school concerts - relaxing and joyful. My parents used to play Andy Williams and Handel's Messiah. Also candles, which can be relaxing and bring serenity. I found some one year that were scented with Douglas Fir, and the smell of Christmas trees in New England could be drummed up any time of year. My younger sister, her hubby and 2 kids are of the Jewish faith, and they do all sorts of things together - thought I admit I'm still learning, there are some beautiful traditions - always loved the menorah. Quite moving.... Hugs, -Mary Beth

Hi Michelle, I agree, this is a great topic! This year, it's about lowering expectations. Not difficult to do with depression! :wink: When I was little, Thanksgiving was just about having a great meal and enjoying family members. You ate, visited for awhile, and then people went home fat & happy. We've set everything up to be too big in our heads, expecting Norman Rockwell scenarios. This year, it's about the food, and whatever good moments come along. Also, if it's a matter of sanity in the kitchen vs. a store-bought pie, I'll choose the store-bought pie. Life's too short. For Christmas, simpler decorations, a smaller tree. My hub and I are only doing stockings this year, as our budget is tight. For us, the joy will be seeing Christmas thru' our grandchildren's eyes. Oh, and LOTS of down time in between holiday events. Resting and recuperating. Looking for other ideas! Jacquie

Due to peri panic, I've been excused from holding the function at my house. However, back when I was Martha Stewart, I would concoct dishes that re-heated well, before the actual holiday. I would then just have to worry about the meat. James Beard recommended this plan, as then one is not as frezied, which allows for more enjoyment of the guests. I will be bringing dishes to both the Hanukkah, Christmas and Thanksgiving shindigs. Have people bring things. One year my sister served tons of appetizers instead of a main course, which went over well. Some were from Sam's Club, but were quite tasty. She also just served desserts. Also, gift cards and cash are easy. If one is on a budget you can always bake cookies. I was once quite crafty, but burned out my back and fingers. Christmas is also my birthday, so we throw a little cake in.LOL I have been craving potato latkes for weeks. God, I pig out on those suckers until I BUST. When is Hanukkah? Love "Handel's Messiah" And the movie, "A Christmas Story." I love my Victorian tree with the decorations I've made over the years. I'm getting sentimental. :cry:

My remedy through the years has always been to buy a 20 oz. bottle of coke or pepsi,pour half of it out and then fill with jack daniels....has laways helped with holiday stress.

meant to write always,not laways....

LOLOLOLOL JADEBEAR - LAWAYS - before or after the jack daniels Julie x

Actually,my plans for the holidays this year is to "expect the worst"...then if things go good,i'll be in for a pleasant suprise.Nothing is worse than setting yourself up for "good" holidays and then they turn out bad.I am even expecting people to say mean things or to purposely try to hurt me.....it's best to be prepared. My mother always manages to do or say something to hurt me and ruin my holidays every other year.....she didn't last year,so this must be the year.She does/says some very hurtful things.....a few years ago,i called and asked her if she and my dad would like to come over for xmas dinner and exchange gifts,I told her i would talk to hubby and call her back with a time....she called back and told me they'd rather "just drop my stuff off at the front door"...which is exactly what they did.Needless to say,i was crushed....even more crushed when i found out they went to my sisters for dinner...even more crushed when i confronted her and she said that i HADN'T invited them over and flat out told me "it doesn't matter anyway".....so this year,i'm ready for it.....if i have myself prepared ahead of time for disappointment,it's not gonna be as disappointing.(it's a shame to have to be like this and think this way,isn't it?)

Jeez, Jadebear, and I thought my mama was hell-on-wheels... No wonder you do the Jack Daniels thing! Well, you certainly are able to maintain a sense of humor, bless your heart. I hope your holidays are gonna be beautiful, and that everyone surprises you with their graciousness this year! (Meanwhile, you just be good to yourself and spoil yourself like crazy.) Chris, Potato latkes, oh my God... They are HEAVEN. Are you an applesauce or sour cream girl, or both? I loooove them with applesauce, but would never, ever turn them down if sour cream were the only option! And you have a Christmas birthday - YOU POOR THING! You never got to wear the birthday crown at school! And people could give you "combined gifts" - phooey! My brother is December 29th, and he's always hated it, as relatives always figured, well we're together on Christmas, so let's give him his birthday gifts at the same time. And then on the 29th, no one would remember him! But the WORST I've heard of is my friend's husband, who was born December 24th. When he was little, his mom was always tearing around getting ready for Christmas (as were his other relatives), and she was really impatient with him! She'd throw a cake on the table after supper, and that was about the end of it. Poor guy, but you should see how his wife spoils him now! Oh well, Chris, it's so nice to see you getting emotional about the holidays. Hope they (and your birthday :wink: ) are BEAUTIFUL this year!

I'm a sour cream girl, Jacquie.

Re: the jack daniels idea.....Love it! My mother-in-law always buys a nice champagne to have at Christmas....then monitors how much everyone drinks.....she complains if anyone drinks more than one glass. So I finally just bought my own bottle of wine, and worked on it throughout the afternoon while we were cooking. By the time we opened her precious champagne, one glass was all I wanted! And holiday birthdays: My husband's birthday is January 1. It's been hard, over the years, to do things for him because we are always just home from the long Christmas trip to his parents (8 hour drive). Amid all the unpacking, laundry, and getting back to work it's hard to do a party Plus I always have a hard time coming up with a gift that he will really like!

Well for those of you that know me on the board I have been Mrs Anxious! No holidays for two years and threw a wobbly last Christmas and had to cart all the food I'd made up to the sister in laws! We have no Thanksgiving as you know but I've had a trial run as it was my husband's 50th yesterday. On Monday I decided he should have a party and yesterday I threw one for 18 of us. We had a whale of a time. The young nephews came in their jammies and I bet their Mum had trouble getting them to bed when they got home. I had a panic in the afternoon when hubby dropped a 4 pint bottle of milk on my kitchen carpet which took ages to s*ck up and clean. And yes I did cry over spilt milk!!! I did use some pre-prepared party snacks but made a few of my own desserts, cooked my own meats etc and now I won't be afraid of doing the Christmas thing. I've been reading "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway", which tells you to act as if you are enjoying the moment. Well I did AND I did! At the end of the day, as long as you don't give anyone a dose of food poisoning, that's not what Christmas is about. Apart from celebrating the reason for Christmas, it's all about being with the people you care about. Nothing gives you a warmer feeling. Not even Jack Daniels!

Chris - just read your posting re Handel's Messiah. if there is anything more glorious i don't know what it is. Perhaps Mozart's Requiem, but not exactly a holiday tradition. I also watch "A Christmas Story" every year. Ralphie looks just like my free-spirited brother did when he was a child.

Yes I love that film too Jools. Especially when his Mum tells him he'll shoot his eye out. How many Mums have said that?

I just wanted to say that i had a very nice Thanksgiving...and for once,i didn't feel all the anxiety beforehand.....i didn't even feel the urge to drink either and i am very thankful for that!No more Jack Daniels necessary for me to make it through the holidays!!

That's great news Jadebear! See you at Christmas?

Alice, Your hub's party sounds so wonderful, and good for you for doing all that cooking and organizing. Bravo! I LOVE the image of your nephews in their jammies, LOL. Kids bring an amazing energy to parties, as they get out of control and so full of joy! They must love coming to visit Auntie Alice! Sounds like we just may have nice Christmases this year! Jacquie

Hey Jacquie, Everytime you disappear for a few weeks, I wonder and worry about you up in Portland. How have things been? Gosh, it's gloomy and blustery here this morning. No walks today. LOL, that's likely why that line is a classic from the movie Alice. Heck, I was so paranoid my son never had a bebe gun. That crazy looking sling shot I kept hiding gave me enough anxiety.

And I bet you weren't allowed to swallow chewing gum as it would 'ravel round yer innards!

LOL, is that what happened to my poor gut. I've been swallowing gum since grade school. lol. Thanks for the

LOL, Chris. My mum had all kinds of dour warnings, too. You know those wax lips and moustaches we could buy as kids? They used to creep my mother out, and I LOVED them, even loved to chew them, tho' they didn't have much flavor. She called them "the gum of the dead." Freaked if we brought them anywhere near the house! BTW, my hub and I have a whole shorthand way of talking based on the movie "A Christmas Story." If I ask him what's come in the mail, he'll pipe up, "It's a major award!!!" If we see something at a store that we think is foolish-looking, one of us will say, "It's a pink nightmare!" Other faves: "Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie," "I triple-dog-dare-you," "Show Mommy how the little piggies eat," and "BUMPUSES!!!!" That is a GREAT movie!

Jacquie, Yup, I recall those. The flavor lasted 10 seconds.lol My mom just objected to the candy cigarettes. God, when were those bad boys banned. Talk about "gum of the dead." Did the cigarette companies put those out or WHAT?? (I doubt it) THEY MADE HER LIVID!!!!! That movie is creative.

Ooh yes, sweet cigarettes or those chocolate ones in white paper and licorice pipes. And even though they're banned nowadays it never made me decide to smoke! Aren't they spoilsports. Wonder if it was those toy syringes in nurses outfits that turned the kids of today into junkies? :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

LOL Alice

I agree, Alice, good one! Last night I watched Rudolph on TV, all by myself. If the grandkids were still here, I could have borrowed one of them! My sophisticated New York sister-in-law called during the show, and I turned it way down, so she couldn't hear Burl Ive's singing "Holly Jolly Christmas." She'd have thought I'd lost my mind! Oh, but I love Bumbles!

Jacquie, Pretty funny about Rudolph - your'e not alone ! I love all of those movies. I'm digging out all of my Christmas movies including the animated "Beauty and the Beast". Ever notice how Disney movies nowadays all have strong heroines...My friends laugh but I dont care - you can always count on a Happy Ending!

Jacquie, You're funny. I'm sitting here cracking up. I have a high powered sister who recommended action flicks for peri anxiety. WHAT???? With the attention span of a gnat, I'm watching stand up these days. She had a tough peri, too. Spent it in Manhattan, mainly. She had to escape the burbs and the family. I love her, but.... Animated Christmas favorites? Toss up between "The Grinch" or "Charlie Brown." If anyone knows when those are on EST please tell me. I still love to watch them. lol My father said he was going to shoot Rudolph every year. Granted the man didn't have a gun, but Rudolph might not fly. ha ha, pun intended.

My little nephew (he was 4 then) asked why we had so many dvd's/videos of kids films when no children live here. I have a box full of Christmas films from the Bishop's (and Preacher's) Wife to Mickey Mouse's Christmas. I just love them! I just love Disney's Christmas fest (a whole day of the old cartoons)on TV!

Those old cartoons are the very best ones! Have you noticed that in today's cartoons, the mouths don't move? That bugs me! A couple of days ago, there was a great old Christmas Tom & Jerry cartoon, circa 1952, on the Cartoon Network. It was so cute, because Tom (cat) and Jerry (mouse), who usually spend their days making one another miserable, got the Christmas spirit, and did all these kind things for one another, rushing around to un-do mousetraps before the other got whacked, and the like. So sweeeet! Does anyone remember "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol?" It was made as a one-hour special, which played every December during the 1960's. My brother and I LOVED it. It had great songs: "Jingle Jangle," "I'm All Alone In the World," and "Razzleberry Dressing." I found a VHS copy a couple of years ago, and my hub and I have such fun singing along!!! (And I always cry at the scene when Ebenezer is a boy at boarding school, singing "Where is the voice to answer mine back - where are 2 shoes that click to my clack - I'm all ALOOOONE in the world...")

That's so sad but at least YOU have found the click to your clack! I don't think the newer cartoons (except Beauty and the Beast and Little Mermaid) are as good (Pixar the exception). I really don't like the new Mickey Mouse Christmas that came out this year, solely because I don't like the bland looking cartoon figures. I'm a closet kids film fan and i just love the Olsen twins when they were tiny. Off to Grandmother's House We Go is my favourite because their ways were just like my daughters when she was small.

Oh, Alice, I saw Tracey Ullman being interviewed years ago on some American nighttime show, back when the Olsen twins were really little. She said "I don't get what everyone sees in those girls. They're just little monkeys, aren't they..." I thought it was funny! (but then, I love Tracey Ullman). And you are so right about the 'toons. It used to be a true art form!

Yes they did have little monkey faces. Very attractive young ladies now. It was just their manner, just like my little gal. :wink: