A special connection to your sister.... ahhh, that is terrific! :) What I always wanted, but could never have before because I had two sisters who were just not emotionally there because of years of drug and alcohol abuse. :( One of them finally died earlier this year from a drug overdose, leaving myself and the other. Although she stopped the substance abuse several years ago, she is now paying a high price in regard to her physical health for that former lifestyle. She is finally available to me as a sister, but for how long is anyone's guess. Talking about wasted time.... 
Full Version: Anger in Perimenopause
Hi Sunlynn...
Maybe it can turn into a rebirth............>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I have another sister who is older and we may never see eye to eye. We are cordial in our communication. She is abusive to herself for many reasons.......sooo sad....but cannot drag myself back to that level....I worked TOO LONG and HARD to put my life in a healthy order..........tried for many. many, many years to include her but it was too destructive for me.That's why it makes my relationship with my other sister so much more special. Let us know as time goes along with you and your sisters new relationship. Remember to keep yourself emotionally healthy through this journey too. Take Care
Hi:
Vickie: Your husband may just be the answer to your lifelong prayers and it’s the other way round too. What more could he wish for than a wife who is capable of so much understanding and that’s the thing, Vickie, despite all the suffering and heartbreak, you’ve managed to come through – and from your posts I can see that you are a woman with an incredible spirit – not depressed, mad at the world and blaming everything and everyone. That takes a lot of doing and the answer to your prayers is, possibly in the strength that you have to have been able to continue and now, enjoy life with your husband and your own family. I may be a bit out of my depth because I don’t know all the circumstances, but that’s what’s occurring to me. You must make an excellent counselor because physcology is difficult. Texts and theories I think are sometimes not enough, but your family experiences must give you a very real insight.
Thanks for such nice words, that’s so sweet and encouraging – it’s so nice to feel good with yourself sometimes, Vickie, so feel good, you deserve to and your husband and your family are very, very fortunate. Embrace all that :smile: :smile:
Barbiexxxxxxxx
Hi Barbie...
Well, maybe I have some responsibility in having a good relationship this time around. :wink: But, you are too kind... sometimes I do get depressed or angry... the difference now is that I am more able to look at my own part in whatever is going on, and I do not hold grudges. I do think my life experiences have strengthened me, but I think they could have just as easily been the downfall of me, too. For some reason, unknown to me, I made choices that were better rather than worse, I think. And, sometimes, the choices were not easy to see, and outcomes not easy to predict. In many instances, I think I just purely lucked out. My own experiences are worth their weight in gold to me in regard to my counseling career... it is far easier for me to walk in another's shoes than it otherwise would have been, I think.
I think we all have an inner strength within us, if we will just try to find it, somehow, and no matter what is going on with others around us. From what you have written here, it seems to me that you have also been able to do the same, and to feel good about yourself. I think the people in your life are probably very fortunate to have you in their lives, as well. :biggrin:
Hiya Sunlynn:
Sorry that the relationship with your older sister isn't what you'd like it to be but I reckon it's hard enough to try and be in control of our own lives, we can worry about other people, but we can't live their lives. It's great that you have the relationship you have now with your other sister and you never can tell - maybe in the future............ :smile:
That was nice the way you called on everyone to join in here.
Barbiexxxxxx
Thanks for your thoughts about my sisters... athenea...To get back to the name of this thread "ANGER" 
I know I am the one who got off track and tried to be positive. But I am a week and a half late this month and I am feeling ANGRY....I know it is hormonal....I am having a tough time staying away from choc/sweets....I know I' m mad at myself for not having more self-control....I know....I know...I know...why I am feeling this way....but I can't seem to get a handle on it. ERRRRRRR. Okay....I feel a little better writing it down....hope it dissipates soon.Today...I do not feel that my husband is such a nice guy.....there I said it.Is it my biorythms?...are the stars /planets off line?...even the people out driving their cars seem to be unbalanced uh.... off balanced.I do not like feeling this way...and I go in and out of being tolerant of it...........coffeee makes it worse...so I better not have a cup today....then I will probably get a headache......I know I should not drink coffee at all....blah-blah-blahThe only solace I have is knowing that it should not last too long...............what are the little ovaries doing a little kick dance down there....come ON release your selves and make it easier for all of us.
;( Either that or just skip this month but stop messing around.Thanks for letting me vent...you know that's all I doing right?
I know I am the one who got off track and tried to be positive. But I am a week and a half late this month and I am feeling ANGRY....I know it is hormonal....I am having a tough time staying away from choc/sweets....I know I' m mad at myself for not having more self-control....I know....I know...I know...why I am feeling this way....but I can't seem to get a handle on it. ERRRRRRR. Okay....I feel a little better writing it down....hope it dissipates soon.Today...I do not feel that my husband is such a nice guy.....there I said it.Is it my biorythms?...are the stars /planets off line?...even the people out driving their cars seem to be unbalanced uh.... off balanced.I do not like feeling this way...and I go in and out of being tolerant of it...........coffeee makes it worse...so I better not have a cup today....then I will probably get a headache......I know I should not drink coffee at all....blah-blah-blahThe only solace I have is knowing that it should not last too long...............what are the little ovaries doing a little kick dance down there....come ON release your selves and make it easier for all of us. ;( Either that or just skip this month but stop messing around.Thanks for letting me vent...you know that's all I doing right?
P.S. Thanks athenea for your affimation on the previous post...the one about saying it was nice on how I called everyone to the gathering.............see.. I can feel good....just not today I guess..............
I am feeling much better today....actually I started feeling a little better after I finished yesterdays post.
Hi Sunlynn, that's good that you are feeling better - hope it lasts. Don't worry if you had cravings for sweets and chocs, that was last week and now it's this week. I'm getting a lot of help at home because my son (16) is on a diet and won't even let me buy anything with chocolate, and I have to run after my daughter to eat anything when she's under exam pressure, but I was invited to someone's house and I had to eat some cake so as not to appear rude so I was angry with myself about that. I've been controlling what I'm eating all week and it just seemed a bit ridiculous to finish it off with a huge portion of swiss roll. At least, one consolation, over here people don't celebrate Xmas with the same traditional foods and you can get away with a barbequed chicken, salad and fresh fruits - it's usually mad hot here anyway around that time.I drink lots of coffee during the day, it keeps me sane, I think decaf (not that there's that much difference I think - seems just as addictive to me).
I think that sometimes we just have to convince ourselves even just a little bit that these bad hormone moments will settle down eventually, they need to be housetrained :wink: but I do know that if I get too anxious, that anxiety will transfer itself to where I don't want it to go - so I just try and distract myself, I try it doesn't always work, but believe me Sunlynn, my attitudes and ideas have changed one heck of a lot since I came here, and that's not so long ago. I'll be round here again pretty soon Nice weekend to you and everyone here.Kisses, Barbie xxxxxxxBarbie xxxxxxxxxx
atheneaI know what you mean about not appearing rude and having to eat that cake. Its so hard cause when you do get mad at yourself its so self-defeating! uhgAs far as the anger not lasting too long for me....whew...I hope all those future mad meno-moments go like that. Talk it out...get it out...then let peace settle in again.Barbecue chicken/salad/fruits for Christmas sounds great to me.You say its hot where you live over the holiday...do you send out Christmas cards with the beautiful SUN shining or do you send snow-covered ones? I have a touch of carpal tunnel...I have been writing a lot with my keyboard( I still don't use typing 101 skills learned in high school) for some reason I like to one finger...which is crazy. SO...I get carpal...ouch. I am typing this with my left one finger. I am going to stop soon though. Gotta keep my fingers/arm ready for signing all the holiday cards next week! 
I agree with you, my attitudes and feelings have changed a lot since reading these boards. It has sooooo helped. Well hope you and eveyone out there in cyberworld had a good week-end. Take Care
I agree with you, my attitudes and feelings have changed a lot since reading these boards. It has sooooo helped. Well hope you and eveyone out there in cyberworld had a good week-end. Take Care
Hi Sunlynn:
Well, the Xmas and New Year cards are the usual Santa/snow on the rooftops stuff, but can you imagine a scorching hot day when all people are thinking about is getting out of the heat. More summery than festive and specially this year with the huge crisis, people are not spending - the shops aren't even decorated yet and those that are look quite pitiful. Last year we managed to get to the coast where it's a lot cooler and there was a fabulous firework display - it probably looks more like the 4th of July than New Year. I still miss turkey, sage and onion stuffing, cranberry sauce and Xmas pudding :biggrin:
Barbiexxxxxxxxxx
Hi Barbie,It seems so odd to hear of your scorching hot Christmas. . . no shop decorations. That must make you very sad. (well, I'm depressed anyway, and it makes me sad just reading about it!). I'm having my parents and a friend or two for Christmas dinner, and no turkey for us this time. It will be lasagne (I'm Italian, you know!) and sausage and garlic bread and a big garlicky salad with lots of vegetables. For dessert. . . the Heath Bar cheesecake that Mary told us about in another thread.
Christmas can be anything we want it to be. Personally, I'm not looking forward to it, since I could afford to go to a spa in Arizona the last few years. (new job, better conditions, less pay - therefore, no spa this year -- and lasagne instead of turkey).
I'm trying not to be too morose about this holiday season. And your post made me grateful that I do have, at least, seasonal weather to look forward to. (although, here I am in Michigan, where it is expected to be near 60 all week! Where's the snow! :shocked: ).
Keep sending those snowy Santa cards, and remember (and I will try to remember too) that we make our own holidays.Hugs,
hey..slvry..have you tried those garlic triscuits? They're great..i like garlic too..
Hi Wildflowers,I've tried garlic EVERYTHING!! I love garlic -- and I probably smell like a walking garlic bulb. One of my favorite treats is to go to a restaurant and get a roasted garlic bulb, and schmear it on pita bread. . . pure heaven!
Wild: - Oh me too - another garlic fanatic - I put it into everything and it's good for ...... (what was it good for? huh, can't be memory :biggrin:
Sylvry Luna - I read your post about the seasons affecting you, the dark nights and mornings and well, you could come over here where the nights are longer and it's a darn sight warmer. I used to get nostalgic about the snow and decorations, but I'm just used to it - and poor Santa, he has to use an extra extra anti-perspirant or stay in the shopping centres with air-cond. There's snow down south here - I just want to go anywhere, anywhere. Oh what a pity you can't go to the spa, that sounds gorgeous, how about just for a few days less, couldn't you manage, it would make you feel great, after all the colds and stuff that you had and you really could do with a change of scenery.
Kisses,Barbiexxxxxxxx
Barbie... I hear garlic is good for a number of things, but I think it is very notable for lowering cholesterol. I hate garlic.
ok..speaking of memory, barbie..i just bought some peppermint tea..the other day..haven't tried it..i knew it was good for something, someone rec. it..is it for nauseau? and something else..the box didn't say..i was looking for rosemary tea...couldn't find any at the grocery..now what was the rosemary for?..guess we'll have to start putting those yellow stickies on products around the house next, to rem. what we use them for lol..
Vickie: Guess I’m not going to be able to ask you here for a meal after all (I put garlic in everything, even the soup). No, not really, but I just love the smell of garlic (that is fresh garlic :wink:) I think it's good for lowering bp as well isn't it? or maybe I'm confusing things.
You're right there wildflowers - Rosemary tea is a sedative, I think so anyway It's translated from "tilo" that's what it's called here, but I'll check that up and let you know if it's wrong. Never tried peppermint tea - ah, let's see what was that for now???? :wink: nausea, that sounds about right with it being peppermint. For nausea, I always take soda water (really fizzy) with a few drops of lemon.
Well girls, getting back to anger, or rather assertiveness, it’s about time I stopped being so accommodating and starting opening my mouth. Yesterday I went to the cardiologist for a ECG. There were 3 people before me, the doc. arrived ½ an hour late and each turn took about 20 mins. When the doctor called the 2nd person, a medical visitor came along and the doctor waved to him to indicating that he’d see him in five minutes. A little while later, another two medical visitors appeared and plonked themselves on the chairs outside the consulting room. I know that the doctor would obviously prefer to see them what with their free samples and trivia/gossip from the laboratories – but I thought about it and figured I’d have to wait at least another 1 ½ hrs. I felt this anxiety and impatience creeping up, plus the elderly lady who was also waiting looked quite distressed, so .... when the doctor opened the door and the visitor stood up, I said, “Excuse me Doctor, but couldn’t you see this lady first and then me, because I’m rather pushed for time”. He smiled and said “Certainly”, the lady went in and I was left with the three visitors glaring at me, nervously looking at their watches and one got up and left. Well, I understand that everyone has to work, but I have to pay insurance for medical services and my time is as important as theirs. I think if the doctor would have told me to wait, I really would have made a scandal – it doesn’t harm to growl every so often when it’s necessary and I have always been so passive!!!!!
Kisses,Barbie xxxxxx
Hello Ladies,
Speaking of garlic.............yes, it is good for a lot of things. My husband grows 2 acres of this stuff as a hobby. He loves to play w/this stuff and he loves eating it too.
It may reduce heart disease, high cholesterol levels, may help to lower blood sugar levels. etc., etc.
And of course, there is garlic and magic. In all of the years that my husband has been growing garlic I have never yet been attacked by a vampire. LOL
:biggrin: :cheesy:
Aunt B, you're funny! Does he grow parsley too? It's supposed to help garlic breath, when you chew on parsley! LOL I LOVE garlic, too, and when I smell something garlicky cooking, it makes me SO hungry! Mmmmmm, how about a garlic pizza, or garlic bread? Yum! Now I'm hungry just from thinking about it!
i've never had garlic pizza? Is it terrific? we here just have the basic chains of pizza places..never saw a garlic one..now i'm gonna have to check that..barbie..is this a routine heart check..or something not quite right?we have south of the border type pizzas here..don't like em..this goes way back ..when newly pregnant...i got sick from one of the pizzas..and i just can't bear even now the thought of nacho chips on pizza with sour cream....
Hi wildflowers, YES, garlic pizza is WONDERFUL (if you like garlic, of course...LOL) But make sure whoever you're with is eating it too, otherwise your breath will knock them over! I know what you mean about getting sick on something and then never wanting it. I made something with Tofu when I was pregnant, and I always feel nauseous at the thought!
wildflowers: Just routine, thx for asking. Barbie xxxxxxx
barbie..well you must have great health care there..to get mine i had to INSIST..have to request everything here it seems, then insist..then wait..lol..my gyn. gave me a list (3) of drs. he rec. for primary care..one has the same last name as my yucky one..will pass on that one..my luck they're brothers hehe...
Hi Barbie... Well, I have to confess that I do like the SMELL of garlic cooking, but don't like the taste. :biggrin: I was sitting here cheering for you when I read what you said at the doctor visit! I love it!! :)
I'm just trying to catch up on all the boards, while trying to reorganize them and here I come into the "Anger in menopause" topic expecting to find the typical menopause / mood swings / anger / rage discussion and instead everyone's talking about garlic pizza? LOL!
Tell me, is there something about garlic pizza that makes any of you angry? :biggrin:
Dearest (who loves garlic, too!)
Ah, thanks Vickie, not such a big deal, I know, but it felt good to get my own way for a change :smile:
wildflowers – if you have pre-paid medical ins. you can either pay for it yourself, or some firms give the benefit to their employees, there are so many to choose from and some are better than others (also it depends on what you pay naturally), but you don’t have to wait for any speciality and the results are ready within a couple of days. The public hospitals are entirely different, there’s simply no budget for that – I think people here would prefer to pay for med.ins. before food!!!!!
Dearest (ha-ha ................ “the mice will play” :wink:. Just as you’re reorganizing everything for us, here we are simultaneously disorganizing it – That’s what happens when you leave us on our own and you don’t come and visit!!!. Great to see you here and the boards are better than ever :smile: Actually this is "Anger in Peri" and I think the ladies in "Anger in Meno" are doing better than we are :wink:
So girls, c'mon let’s have a mood swing or something and write it down here quickly .........
Barbiexxxxxx
the insurance i have through work is an hmo..i pay half and employer pays half (i work part time) they have a ppo type too..where you can go right to the specialists etc. (without a referral from primary dr.) .but they're all the same specialists as the regular hmo..and neither will let you have an ekg, eeg..any tests as a routine part...has to be a reason..regarding blood work..that was hard to get at first too from primary care..but now that i'm prone to anemia..i can get it whenever..but have to drive across the city to that lab..so silly..husbands insurance (his employer pays most of it) is an hmo too, we purchase a private one for daughter..but thats an hmo too..and expensive...its less expensive for us all to have separate insurances than go through either of our work..if i'd work 2 more hrs. a day..i'd have totally free insurance for me..but haven't yet found a job (not looking reaaaalll hard hehe) i'm interested in yet...and my job i'm at doesn't qualify for an extra 2 hours of benefits..very strange i know...i know people whose primary drs. (hmo's, private..doesn't matter) said that they have something wrong with their blood and to see a blood specialist..her appt. is this Jan..and she made it this past august) another one and i could go on..had a spot on her face..a precancerous skin thing..was told to have it removed..the wait was around 10 MONTHS just to get IN to see specialist..and much longer to schedule the surgery..so she went to a private dr. (dermo) and paid out of pocket to have it removed..she has federal gvt. insurance..does not matter the kind of insurance..its the slowness here..
Hi Athena...
I think it was too a big thing! :biggrin: I was thinking and wondering if I could have done it, and I decided that I could have, but probably not as diplomatically as you did. You are lucky that the doctor showed his face in the waiting area, for one thing... almost unheard of anywhere here. You have given me the extra courage to do that the next time I run across a situation like you were in... I have been there before and said nothing until after I got into the examining room, which means I had to go through the wait.
Wildflowers...
I currently have a PPO, but have had many HMO's in the past. To me, there seems to be a huge difference. I was very tired of all of the hassle of getting a referral from the primary care doctor with HMO's, for instance, and now I feel like I have been freed from some kind of prison! I can go to any kind of doctor I want to go to, for whatever I want to, and get things taken care of quickly now. I now have very excellent insurance that is fully paid by my employer, so my stress level is down considerably about health care these days! :biggrin:
Vickie - I seem to remember that today is your ultrasound. Good luck with that, if it is! Please keep us posted.
Hi Yankeegal... Yes, it's today... gotta be there in about an hour or so. Thanks very much for the support. :)
Vickie: I didn’t know you had to go for a scan today but I do hope it came out really well (maybe you posted somewhere else on that and I missed it (nothing unusual). The medical ins. you have sounds really good (that is the PPO,). I take it that it's private pre-paid ins. paid by your employer or by you). If it's like that it sounds pretty similar to how it is here.
It must be terrible, wildflowers, that the system's so slow, sounds like the NH system in England which is also really really slow. I can't understand how people can have tests and get the results three months later (what does that mean that they keep the test material in formol or something, or that they analyze them and keep the papers for months) :shocked:
The professionals you find on the pre-paid ins. systems here are just the luck of the draw – but you can choose.
Bye, see you all,Barbiexxxxxxxx
so far with my tests i've been able to get just a paper referral from primary care..but sometimes its taken 2 weeks to get in the mail..then i get 2 for the same thing..the only test so far thats had to be approved by the insurance company was for the mri..i got the paper from neuro..about a wk. ago..(he set the appt. for 5 days or so after my receiving paper from him on approval)..but he'd asked the ins. comp. the middle of october..or at least that was when i went to see him..either he's slow or its the ins. com...i've read here we have a shortage of drs...something like 20 percent..and a major shortage of nurses (but i think the nurse shortage is nationwide)..now shall we discuss DENTAL insurance..thats even more insane here lol....
Hi Athena...
I don't quite know what you mean by "private pre-paid insurance"... it is group insurance I have through my employer, and they pay the entire premium. Maybe I just forgot what PPO stands for, lol. I also thank you for your support regarding the ultrasound.
Well, it's not often that I am speechless, but I am tonight. The ultrasound showed that I have 2 fibroids... one is 1" and is not in an inconvenient place (I think she said in the lower part of my uterus), which means causing no problems. The other is about a half inch and is in the center, and causing my spotting problems. The person who did it told me that it is causing the spotting because it is in the way of a vessel, and the vessel cannot close to stop the bleeding because the fibroid is there.
I am pretty ticked because my doctor had specifically made an appointment in her office for the ultrasound, telling me she would make sure she set aside time to be there and consult with me. I had to change the appointment because I started my period, and when it was rescheduled, I was assured that the doctor would be available for me. When I went into the room, the woman doing the ultrasound told me the doctor would be in after she was done to look at it and talk to me. Well, after she was done, she took the pictures to the doctor and came back and told me I would have to make an appointment with the doctor to "discuss my options... surgery or whatever". Actually, I don't really know what "whatever" was, because I didn't hear a word she said after "surgery". I told her I was NOT going to have any surgery and was also ticked about being told I had 2 fibroids and being sent on my way, with no more information, and to stew about it until I could get in to see the doctor again. Then I asked the front desk to have the nurse call me, and guess what...no call.
I don't know what ticks me off worse... the fact that the fibroids are there or that I was basically abandoned by the doctor. I think it is the doctor issue.
Anyway, I sure could use some information any of you might be able to give me about these fibroids. As I said somewhere previously, I have never had any problems with my health in my life until peri, and I don't take it too well at all. Thanks.
Hi Vickie - I was looking to see how things went with your ultrasound, but I was looking on the "Bleeding" board. First of all, you were treated very poorly by the whole staff, but try not to get to upset. I've had fibroids for years - they've just been monitored to check their growth, which has been none to little, and that's good. Usually, unless they are causing big problems such as pain or whatever, they are routinely left alone because once menopause happens and the estrogen production slows, they shrink and disappear (the very same thing even happened to my mother, years ago). So I don't understand why your doctor/nurse is overreacting. If you go to **, there is a very good article all about fibroids. A laser can also be used to remove it/them, if necessary. But a friend of mine has one that's the size of an orange,and her doctor is just watching it, since she has just turned 50.Please don't get worried but DO make sure you talk to your dr., and let him know how you feel about the way this was handled. And, don't hesitate to see another doctor (armed with your ultrasound), if that will give you peace of mind. Good Luck, Vickie. Let us know what goes on. Kim
*** (Board Administrator Note: commercial URL has been removed -- if you wish more information please email the poster)
Hi Kim... Thanks for the reply.. it is very appreciated and consider me consoled I see you don't have your email address posted here, as I don't, so if you would be so kind as to email me the internet address that was removed, I would really appreciate it. My email address is kalanie@aol.com. I am sorry I neglected to post this on the board I was previously talking about it on, but, hey, it was late last night :wink: I saw Barbie's post to me here and just responded. I guess I will have to post it there, too, lol. Thanks so much again for your information and support.
I see you don't have your email address posted here, as I don't, so if you would be so kind as to email me the internet address that was removed, I would really appreciate it. My email address is kalanie@aol.com. I am sorry I neglected to post this on the board I was previously talking about it on, but, hey, it was late last night :wink: I saw Barbie's post to me here and just responded. I guess I will have to post it there, too, lol. Thanks so much again for your information and support.
Hi Vickie - I've emailed you with all the information. Kim
Hey, Kim...thanks so much again! :biggrin:
I’m really not surprised at you being ticked off Vickie, I was just thinking, that it doesn't sound like it's yoru regular gyn, - the one that you said was really understanding and it's a specialist in fibroids or from the place you had the ultrasound, so maybe in the meantime you could talk to your own doctor and he could explain and put your mind at ease. It must have been so annoying that the doctor there couldn’t make it just when you needed him to explain everything to you. Technicians I reckon can only tell you what they see, but not how to treat it, so just by telling you “surgery or whatever” sounds like they don’t even know what “whatever” means, don’t go by them, they sound experts at ushering you in and out though. I wish I could help more, I read a couple of things but I think Yankeegirl (who knows more than I do :smile: has told you the most important stuff, so I’m glad that’s makes you feel more consoled.
I hope you managed to get hold of the doctor today, (the one that should have been there) now, before the weekend, even if just by phone so that you won’t feel too worried over the weekend and try not to worry too much Vickie, you’ll be okay, you’ll see. Whatever you have to do with that we’ll talk you right through it.
Private pre-paid is that you (or your employer) pays a med. ins co. monthly and it includes everything (private in the sense that the attention is at different med. centres or consulting rooms, but not private in the sense that you pay the professional directly). I just imagined that was what PPO is, (guessing). Clinics and private sanatoriums are included – it all depends on the plan and how much you pay.
Kisses,Barbie xxxxxxxx
Hi Barbie...
I think the private prepaid thing is something like a PPO. I guess they are called different things in different places, but somewhat the same.
In regard to the ultra sound, the doctor that didn't come in and see me was my regular GYN doctor, and it was done by a technician who comes into her office, so I was in her office. I do like her and she is very knowledgeable and understanding, but something happened along the way in changing the appointments, and she was booked solid when I was in there. I voiced my disappointment and displeasure before I left, and she must have gotten it, loud and clear, because I did get a call from her this morning. She left me a message because I had my cell phone turned off (I am off work today), and she told me it is not to worry about and apologized for yesterday. I will see her next week.
Thanks so very much for your support and encouragement... I do appreciate it so much. You also have a good weekend.
P.S. Lol, the "whatever" was my word, not the tech's... I heard nothing after I heard the word, "surgery:... I am doing much better today.
atheneaI haven't been on the boards for awhile.. .. involved in the outside world...just wanted to say I was proud of you for speaking up to the doctor. The pharm. people who go to the doctors office DURING OUR TIME/APPT in their expensive attire just tick me off. So, there dearest ...I just got mad! :)Just wanted to say hi to everyone and did not want you to think I forgot you all.
Hi again Sunlynn, great that you've been doing things - and if it was work, hope that went well - we need a bit of everything I think, work, outside world, fun and it's good to get online here too sometimes, so great to see you :smile: You are so right, the med.visitors are really elegant, but I don't think they earn much here at least (probably all goes in clothes :wink:.
Hope everyone has a good weekend and Vickie I'm really glad to know you are feeling better (plus the rest you had from work yesterday) :smile:
Speak to you all soon,Barbiexxxxxxx
Yes!! The rest from work will calm that peri anger! :biggrin: Actually, I have found that I have several days off work that I had not planned on, in addition to the week after Christmas that I had planned. I had some vacation hours available I didn't realize I had, and will lose it if I don't use it... now, that sounds like great luck to me... almost as good as finding money on the ground. :biggrin:
Where should I start...In the beginning...this might be long
I started having my period when I was 14 years old, I was a freshman in high school, and I didn't know when I was going to start since all my friends had theirs already.
Well, after having Nicholas in 1994; I lost all energy and interest in making love, this lasted for about 1 year. Looking back I was having all kinds of problems, but didn't know what to do about them. My mother is older and didn't want to ask her, and I didn't have any sisters to ask, and didn't feel comfortable talking it over with my doctor. He told me just try harder…who would have thought that I could have possibly had a problem…
Well, we started trying again when Nicholas was about 2 years old; to no avail could we get pregnant, so I had some blood work done, I wasn't feeling very good, sleepy, fatigued and tired all the time. I was now 34 years old, the blood test came back that my FSH Hormone level was 85, what did that mean, they sent me to Iowa City, I was in Perimenopause. What did that mean…
Well, I was I in Menopause at 34 years old… was I going to be able to have anymore children? I was very angry… Why me, why now…
Let me tell you how I have been feeling. Annamarie is my daughter and Nicholas is my son, they are my kids. One grew in my belly and the other grew in my heart. I've had the best of both worlds, I have had the experience of giving birth to a baby and adopting a baby. Some people who adopt never get the experience of being pregnant.
So what is wrong with me I should be happy right, I have the perfect little family, I have 2 wonderful children and a wonderful husband who all love me entirely, but I am aching inside. But, don't know how to describe it.
It's like this, I was the most wonderful mother to my son. I loved him from the minute we found out we were pregnant. Then I loved our daughter when we found out about her, I loved her the minute I saw her picture.
The anger that I fight with is uncontrollable sometimes and I yell at my kids and my husband. I feel sorry when it is over with but, I cannot stand it happening to me.
I was put on HRT, but didn't like the way it made me feel. I think that I started perimenopause right after I had my son, I always had irregular periods, but I was also having what might have been considered hot flashes. The only symptom of perimenopause that I have now is no periods. Do I want to take HRT that makes me have a period, you crazy. Somedays I feel like I am crazy. Please help me if you can, I don't know who else to turn to. I'm now 38 years old. I should have posted this on the introduction page, but need help now with this anger.
2early2chg Vicki
QUOTE
Quote: from Introvert on 7:26 pm on Nov. 4, 2001[br]I have been reading a lot on this Website and find the info sooo helpful. I am in perimenopause according to my doctor, myself and anyone who has come in contact with me for any length of time since about April.My anger is ridiculous. Although quite often it is justified (my husband is a slob), lately it gets out of proportion. Many times I just need to get away and there is nowhere to go (especially in our house, which is being remodeled). I woke up the other night to go to the bathroom (down the basement since the upstairs one is ripped up), turned the light on and the blasted radio comes on. My husband has the radio (usually talk radio) or TV on or is slamming the back door continuously from morning to night. Sometimes my head aches so bad, I long for a moment of silence.
I am probably rambling but I do that a lot lately.
Oh, by the way, I didn't realize the interest section concerned the Website but I am concerned about my Golden Retrievers. I don't know if they will make it through this either.
Gee, you sound like me. Everything that is inside us which has remaining nearly dormant comes up for us as our bodies prepare us for this part of our lives. Still, it doesn't make it any easier on us or those we love.
And, living amidst reconstruction is so hard. I survived this by going out a lot, talking to friends and finding something to fulfill me.
Anger, I had plenty of it and dealing with it for me, meant leaving my marriage. So, when my last child finished college, I filed for divorce. And,it was the best decision I made.
Of course, the anger wasn't just in my marriage and so, in time, I learned to deal with it, too.
But from time to time, it flares up. Like today. Nothing significant, just all the times I wasn't heard. So I cooked a Thai meal and worked it through.
Good luck. And, your goldens will survive. Just love yourself a bit more. And them, too. I love goldens!
Per many of the above messages, I've posted some helpful information about Fibroids on the Fibroids / Cysts board.
Dearest
Vicki (2early): You're not crazy :shocked: I reckon that what you feel as unrational anger that takes over sometimes just isn’t “you”, because you adore your family and just can’t get to grips with why you feel so impatient and irritable with them. You said you left the HRT, I was wondering how long ago that was and also that if it was recent, if you just quit cold turkey, because aside from it being very normal to feel anger in peri, maybe your hormones have become even more unbalanced by stopping what you were taking and not taking anything. I don’t know if that’s the case, but there are various alternatives here on the different boards and on the main page. I know the place is a bit big, sometimes I think we need a bus to get round, but take your time and ask anything or just vent and vent.
It’s not easy to channel anger attacks and it mustn’t be at all for you having to look after two young children who I bet always seem to get out of hand just when you feel at your worst. Why is it that when we feel great, they are as good as gold? (lol). When you feel calm, maybe you could think about certain things that really do bother you and that you can change (maybe your routine, sharing responsibilities, things that you can work out with your husband). Just for an hour a day, doing something you like for you (even just pampering yourself) can help. One of the things I like as simple as it sounds is just walking and listening to music.
Susanmnts – please, please let me know about that Thai meal, I’m the world’s worst cook and there aren’t any Thai restaurants where I live, but it sounds great.
Oh, thx Dearest for the info on the Fibroids board, that was really useful. One hopes that these things won’t happen, even if they are supposedly commonplace, but it’s great to know all this before we go to a doctor. I know that with mine, as offhand and businesslike as she can be sometimes, at least this way I understand more and can question and discuss things, whether she likes it or not (how about that for my new determination?).
Vickie I read on the Fibroids post that you saw your doctor (your post Dec. 13th).I’ll look out for your post there, but while I’m here I hope that went okay for you. :smile:
Long post this time - Barbie xxxxxx
Hi Barbie... Thanks very much for the support. I am going to have to have some procedures done... wrote about it on the Bleeding board, and am trying not to feel too anxious. I had a very bad night last night with cramps and pain...the pain is getting to be excruciating... I cringe every month when I see on the calendar that another painful period is due soon. I think the pain is more from the thickness of the uterine lining than from the fibroid, and, of course, I am now worried about finding cancer. Anyway, thank you so much for your thoughts.
Vickie I'll read the Bleeding board, I hadn't up till now and I'll post there to you, but meantime, just know you're in my thoughts. Kisses, Barbie xxxxxx
Hi Everybody!
I noticed that much of the anger here has been because of medical professionals, so after my husband has been hospitalized twice in the past 2 weeks, I decided to join in!
I'm pretty angry at the doctors, hospital, insurance co. (who ever is responsible) for discharging him from the hospital after only 24 hrs out of surgery to begin with. He had complications - had to come home with a catheter, and now our neighbors say that their mother had gall bladder surgery a few months ago and she ended up back in the hospital a few days later for the same reason my husband went back - severe constipation and throwing up, bile in his stomach. Again she was sent home too early. Then when he called the doctor Christmas Eve afternoon, the doctor told him to wait 3 hrs and eat again and if he still threw up go to ER. Well, that much time ended us up in ER at midnight instead of 3pm when my husband called the doctor. This same doctor did not treat a cold my husband had last winter and he ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. You feel really helpless in a situation like this because something should be done, but there is not a whole lot you can do. My husband's other doctor also was negligent. He went for about 5 months saying that the pains were bowel problems and not even considering gall bladder until my mother remembered a man she knew who had a lot of pains that the doctors attributed to bowel problems, but he found out later were gall stones.
I did do one thing about anger this week tho. I was really angry at our church. I notified someone there about my husband's surgery (message on answering machine) and no one ever got back in touch with us about it. Not one word of concern did we hear until a week after he had the surgery and then we got a phone call from the priest asking how his surgery went yesterday! I was speechless on the phone! This was not the first time that they have shown a lack of concern towards people. But I decided to follow a suggestion I once heard that if you are angry or upset with someone to write them a letter telling them about it. They say even if you don't send it it can help to make you feel better. Well I wrote it - and I sent it! :cheesy: And I do feel better! I think that I feel that I did all that I could do and now I can give it a real long rest. And I'm glad because I really don't like being angry - it doesn't feel good. (Maybe I should try that with the doctors) :biggrin:
By the way --- has anyone else noticed that when you are angry you don't get the panic attacks and internal shaking?
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