I am so moody it is really disturbing me. my husband thumped my shoulder, where I do have some sensitive nerve endings, I yelled "OW"...and told him it hurt and got angry. Then he tells me I choose to get angry, I have no excuse, there was no reason for me to get so upset. to say the least.....I am still smarting. feeling down and kind of perturbed. Hubby knows I don't like being "thumped" or hit with a towel across my bottom, etc. and does it anyway. I'm supposed to ignore this. my period just recently came on after about 6 weeks. Had a 6 week hiatas before this one. I am very very HOT. I' m using the progesterone cream and it seems to help,but I am wondering if I should call the doc. I'm on enough antidepressants already!....I have MS. And that is basically enough for me to deal with on a daily basis.....I don't need perimenopause to get me down. I just needed to vent. I hope to calm down soon. Now I feel exhausted.

Welcome to Power Surge mugget, Wanted to share a little demonstration that I was taught several years ago about anxiety. This also applies to chronic pain. If someone touches your hand lightly like a fly landing on your skin when your hand is relaxed you may notice, but it is not annoying. Then when someone puts their fingers gently but constantly around your wrist and touches your hand in the very same way--------one's reaction to the touch is intense!!!! It's about your body being tuned into those physical feelings. With repeated touches the feelings can become unbearable. This is much easier to show than explain, but hopefully it will help you and your husband understand MS makes his thumps and swats unbearable for you. Mood swings in peri are horrible, but what you described sounds like a little demo for your husband would go a long way to help. ~Helen

Hi everyone, Has anyone used an anti-depressant such as Celexa to help their bad moods. I used it for about a year and a half, and felt like a different person. Somehow, though, I thought that it probably wasn't great that I should be on this years on end, and so I got off of it about 5 months ago. Now the moods are worse than ever. I can literally barely get through the day!! I'm going absolutely berserk! So . . . I'm going to see if I can get back on it. Has anyone else taken this route? Do you feel it's safe? Any feed back on this would be appreciated! Thanks, Andrea

Hi Andrea, It's definitely worth speaking with your doctor re: how he/she feels about your getting back on the medication. I know a number of people who have needed the help of antidepressants for many years. Your doc will tell you if this is safe, or if there is perhaps another medication you could try. Also, you might be helped with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which could give you some ideas about how to handle the anger without medication. But I wouldn't suffer needlessly. Good luck!

Thanks JolieJacq (sp?) for your response. I did see a doctor today (actually a nurse practitioner) and she thought that it was probably okay to go back on the Celexa. So, it's either that and/or Revial Soy - has anyone heard if that helps mood problems? Thanks again, Andrea

Revival did help my mood problems. It relieved many of my symptoms, thus improving my mood overall. I still get PMS... only now I'm not as dangerous:D

Hello, This is the first time I am posting a message. It is nice to hear other women I can relate to. I feel like there is no one to understand, and I know no two circumstances are identical. I am 51 and still having regular periods but they are closer together and heavier. I am sooo sensitive to my husbands words and actions it is ridiculous sometimes. He can do some little thing and I go in a rage, or I think about it for hours and then I blow-up. He has sort of been unfaithful via pornography. It may not bother some women, but it really bothers me because I have really tried to be enough for him, but I know I can't look like those fantasy girls. And now I think this perimenopause has made my anger get really out of hand. I get mad about all sorts of stuff he does. Does anyone else feel this impelling anger toward their husbands? Thanks for letting me talk. I have no one to talk to about this. Yvonne

Hi Yvonne, WELCOME TO POWER-SURGE!!!!! Yes, anger is very common with peri/meno. If you read some of the other boards you will see what i'm talking about. And it's not only directed at husbands, it's basically directed at anyone who is breathing around you at the time of the anger. I know it's hard to understand. It usually took alot to get me to the boiling point, now it takes hardly anything. I could fly off the handle for no good reason. And I hate myself when that happens, because I know I was never like this before. But at least now with reading all the other ladies posts, I understand it's just the hormones screwing us around. And knowing I'm not alone with this helps alot also. Peace AA

Yvonne In some ways i have found the extra anger that i have now to be good. I'm the kind of person who has let people walk all over me and that includes my now ex fella of 13 years i really feel that without the anger i might not of told him to go he has caused me nothing but pain for years. I'm just looking at it from your point of view and why should'nt you feel anger at your hubby for what he has done. Their is no excuse for that kind of behaviour. So perhaps instead of thinking this anger is bad think that perhaps it might just help you not to be putting up with any crap:( Use the anger for your benefit. Take care Pauline

Pauline, I never thought of it that way, but I see what you mean. I guess sometimes that anger is a protective measure. Remember that "Fight/Flight" response? Well, I guess anger must be the defensive "Fight" part, helping us stand up for ourselves. And we should never forget to protect ourselves (I should take my own advice!). :P:P Michelle

I probably used the Fight/Flight response when I told my last employer "**** you! You can stuff your job!" I would never have dreamed of doing that normally. I topped it off with a loud slam of a door behind me!

Alice, LOVE that!

I appreciate the replies. It feels good just telling someone about my problem. At age 51 I just don't want to go through another divorce. Been married going on 15 years to my second husband. Even though my husband has his pornography problems, I have a nice home and he works hard. I guess I'm not as tough as some. Who knows if things would be any better if I got tough and divorced him. I really appreciate you wonderful ladies listening ears. Thanks and Thanks again, Yvonne

Yvonne Its not a matter of being tougher its what you are prepared to put up with. You say yourself that you have a nice home and your hubby works hard. My ex was a controlling person liked to have the last word most greek men do. But i decided that if only he could give up the gambling i would of put up with the rest as its him and as i have got older and wiser he just does not get to me anymore like he used to, but i could not put up with the gambling another woman might of. Don't beat yourself up about staying with him. only you can decide when you have had enough or what you can put up with. Make a life for yourself and make yourself happy. Take care Pauline

I can very much relate to your problem with your husband. I married him when I was 17. We have been married for 31 years. For at 25 years I dealt with the magazines. They made me feel like I was not enough woman for him. I cried alot over those years and now when my emotional roller coaster heads down hill this issue makes me mad as hell. I have never spoken to anyone about this. A couple of weeks ago when I felt terrible I got so mad I took my wedding rings off. I still have not put them back on. He is being good now and is very sorry but sometimes that does not help. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart. These days I can't think of too many people I'm not mad at. If I'm not mad I'm sad. Actually, I have felt better for about 6 days. What a relief , for both of us. This site is such a comfort to me already. Thanks to everybody for being there.

Arleen It is comforting to hear from someone who has experienced the same thing with pornography. I can relate to how mad and sad it makes you. I don't think my husband has actually cheated on me with a real women (?), but his addiction to porn, I feel, will always be there. And I relate to how it makes us feel we are not enough. I have taken off my wedding rings many times also. I have them on now. I am in perimenopause, age 51, and sometimes the anger of all this porn crap really enrages, depresses, and saddens me But I don't want divorce either. It's living with it that is hard and I know it will always be a part of my marriage no matter how many times he denies it. And believe me, I have tried to be everything to him. He doesn't even show any remorse. I guess we need to try to keep ourselves involved with something else in life and remember we are wonderful and special. They are the ones that have the problem. We just need to do what is right even if they don't. And believe me, I am the first one that needs to try and try again. With this hormonal flucuation, I may be in a whole different mood tomorrow. LOL! Hug. Yvonne

Yvonne, Thanks for your reply. Even when he says he is not doing it I find it very hard to trust him . I like you went to great legnths to be the best I could be . He of course never felt the need to be because he trusted me and my love so much. It must be an addiction because I would ask him how he could hurt me so bad if he loved me so much. I have sacrificed alot for this marriage and like you I don't want a divorce (at least today) and God help me I do love him. Thank you for being here! Hugs back, Cathy

hi can i relate to this anger and mood swing business They just come bubbling up or should i say exploding with such intensity.MY husband reads these messages but still thinks I am the wicked witch of the north which means he puts you all under the same category He believes what he wants to believe and can't find a grain of truth to any of these peri issues. May god pay him back in some big way. And as for family support well my mother can't understand because her menopause my nans and ny aunts were a breeze so I am guessing she thinks the mental institute is for me any way i told her that her remark was insensitive so she has'nnt spoken to me for a week. And dear hubby thinks I should think seriously about why I am alienating everyone. I think my mother has alienated me since I have looked after her for 22 years since dad died. Her son has done nothing yet she thinks the sun shines ou of his @@@. and I am the sounding board for all her frustrations. At this time of life i don't want to be next to such toxic people.Anyone else feel the same and is there any answer.

What's that man's address dennydino? We'll pay him a call!


And what is it with parents who think the sun shines out of their lazy children's arses?

I think what causes a lot of anger with we menoladies is unfairness

1. Why do people think we are cranky because we don't want to do something for them?

2. Why are older ladies treated unfairly in the work place? if your boss no longer wants to get in your knickers why does your "career" end?

3. Why don't our families want to take care of us? How many nights have you spent with a sick husband or kids?

4. Why can you do loads of things for your kids yet it's the rich relative that "treats" them is thought the best of?

5. Why can your family never say thank you?

6. Why does your husband say I've done the hoovering/washing up for you? Didn't he drop crumbs/dirty the dishes?

7. Why can you do lots of things for parents but the lazy kid, who does NOTHING and is always borrowing money, which is never repaid. is the favourite?


Do you know I think the person that wrote "The Prodigal Son" was actually a lazy kid who slipped this parable in... If it says in the bible "Honour thy Mother and Father" then God would surely kick his ass!

Awesome, Alice!