I can't believe the person I've turned into.I used to be calm,slow to anger and generally easy going. Since meno kicked in I've become a total bitch. I'm short tempered ,angry,snappy------the slightest thing can set me off or othing at all. Can hormones or the lack of them really do this,I can't believe the change in me. Is anyone out ther going though this/has been though this? I'm on hrt and thought it would help. Does anyone know why this is happening?

Hi Freddie~~No doubt in my mind that hormones are the problem..to much..lack of..I believe they're the reason we are irritable. I have maybe 1 good week a month where I'm not annoyed at something or someone~it's a rollercoaster ride, I know just how you feel..it's very frustrating..I don't like to be a nasty person but have no control over it at times, and it's even worse for my hubby..but I can say that he's learning why I act this way and most times knows when to just quietly leave the house until I'm a little calmer.. hope you feel better soon~~

Yup, I have been nastier 100 fold. The irritability could come from feeling premenstrual chronically. I'm sick of feeling enraged, sad or adrenalized by anxiety. My husband is generally pretty patient, but he knows to leave if I'm getting too nasty. Man, and I was always so nice. Plus, lack of sleep on top of this pericoaster makes me more irascible. I can relate. Thankfully I'm a woman that can apologize!!!

I'm right there with ya ladies. I have been a BI*CH on wheels lately. Finola, I'm lucky (and so are the people around me) if I get one good week. I get so angry that I feel as if the blood is ready to shoot out of my ears. I sometimes feel like with all this stress I'm gonna have a heart attack or stroke. No matter how I try to calm myself, I just cant shake it off like I used too. Before it took alot to get me this angry. Now if you look at me the wrong way, I feel as if I could kill ya with my bare hands. Never heard those words out of my mouth before all the Peri/Meno stuff hit. I'll tell ya it really scares me, this personality change I'm experiencing. It's like I can change from second to second. Talk about Jeckell and Hyde. I'd like to go live in the mountians til all this stuff goes away. For my piece of mind and for those around me. If I keep up like this, no one will ever want to speak to me again. Cant say I would blame them!! Thanks for listening to me RANT!! Peace (If Only I could find some) AA

I'm Jekyll and Hyde's twin sister! After reading the "Feel Good" book, I woke Saturday with no anxiety. Husband said,"We must get you out this weekend" but when it came to the afternoon he had completely forgotten. Instead of reminding him I lost it. I threw my mug of tea (which went up in the air and all over my hair) all over the sofa and cushions, then flew at him in a rage and ran upstairs crying. He lost his temper and said horrible things...life with me is miserable etc and more and things were very cool for the rest of the day. Next day, what a clean sofa and cushions and a brand new phone!(the previous one met an untimely death). I'm not proud of myself...

Read the article, A Surprising New Health Tip: When You're Angry, Let It Show

I just read a terrific quote about anger which I think is perfect for women going through menopause. "I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry." -- Maxine Waters, in Brian Lanker's book, "I Dream a World"

Great article! Thanks, Dearest

Thanks Dearest and Mary, That was a good article. I never had a problem expressing my anger. It's just that now it takes less to set me off. LOL!! Peace AA

I've read about a few women throwing and breaking things, but I wouldn't want to have to clean it up. I'm more the tirade type these days. I just asked my 25 year old to clean up his crap on the floor, with a please. Now I'd like to kill the $#$%*&%&%. Geez, he's attempting to improve his GED scores to get scholarship money for grad school through a Kaplan program. Bright kid, philosophy major. I paid to educate him to argue. He's arrogant and arguementative!!! Venting. We also should not live together. Good article on anger. I held it in for years, and every last slight I ever felt is coming to fruition. Still, I don't like feeling enraged, but believe there is something to the depression is anger turned inward adage. At least, I caught up on my sleep. :mad::mad::mad:

Hi, I'm a 47 year old woman who was known for her cheerful dispositon. Within the past few months, I became so moody and depressed that no one (including myself) wanted to be around me! I started trying two things - the Revival soy drinks and taking lots of vitamin B's. I think they both are helping, but I noticed a major improvement in my mood after taking the B vitamins. My dh last night said that he felt like the old me was back again:) Let's hope so! At any rate, I'm sold on the Active Woman's Multi Vitamin - it is loaded with B vitamins - 3333% of the daily requirement for B 12! Hope that helps! ~Nancy

I noticed that hot flashes had something to do with the irritability, or vice versa. I'd either get angry and then have waves of hot flashes, or the flashes would make me feel irritable and depressed. The worst feeling is being on edge all the time with no reason. Sometimes I couldn't sit still. I would get really impatient with slow drivers and have a horrible commute to work, yelling and sweating at the wheel, when before, when I had enough estrogen, I'd be enjoying the scenary. Any slowness in others would set me off. If a salesperson didn't move fast enough, I'd feel irritated. I'd try to do some sewing and I'd either lose my temper after five minutes, or I just didn't want to even do it at all. Well, hang in there...we are all in this together.

I have become the queen of rage. Maybe it's just all those repressed feeling coming out after 16 years of marriage. Who knows. All I know is that if I feel I've been mistreated, I actually will start shaking trying to restrian myself. I look like Tom Hanks in "A league of their own". There's no crying? Wanna bet! LOL my husband keeps telling me I've been too hard on him and the kids. Well, maybe they've been a bit hard on me and I'm tired of taking it and faking it. News flash ladies, we deserve to feel our feelings AND be treated with respect. I love the quote up there from Dearest. I am woman, hear me roar! Michelle

Dearest~~Thanks for the article and quote..I always felt I "had a right to my anger"..even if no one around me did!! AA~~I have a very nice mountain behind my house..want to camp out there till this is over..lol!! Alice~~I've been known to throw things once in awhile..seemed to make me feel better~~ Chris~~my son came back home at age 25 for 8 months..not a good thing..I love him dearly..we get along great now..just can't live together either~~ Hi nancy~~michelle~~sugar..great to read all your posts..really is the best therapy!! Today I came home from shopping and almost sent an email to my cousin because she laughed at my new puppies name..I was ready to ask why and tell her off!!..but I told myself this is just a peri moment and you'll regret it later..anyway I sometimes think we really..really have reasons to be angry..people can be such jerks..I would never laugh like she did at that..even if I thought it was the worst name I ever heard..might have done me good to tell her off~~ HUGS TO ALL

Hi Finola, What kind of Pups did you get? I got 2 Shiz-Tzus. AA

Hi AA~~I only have one pup..I think I wrote it wrong..shes a mix..part collie..part hound..and who knows what else..I adopted her from the shelter. Her name is Nola..kinda after me!! Shes adorable but 27 pounds at only 12 weeks..big girl!! Shiz-Tzus are so cute..I bet you love them so much? What are their names? Animals make us feel good..unconditional love!! Enjoy your sweet puppies~~

What's so funny about the name Nola? I think it's an adorable name. Some people really do have bizarre senses of humor (or are just being mean).:mad: Enjoy your sweet Nola! Jacquie

HI Finola & Nola, I named mine JT & TJ. But they usually answer to anything. So I'm sure your sister will love those names. I think Nola is a cute name. I cant believe she is only 12 weeks and 27 lbs. She is gonna be a big girl. She can have my two for a light snack. LOL!! My cousin just got a collie and I cant wait to go see her. Yep, I love animals too. Sometimes (OK,most times) more than some people I know. LOL!! Peace AA

Bless you for adopting from a shelter instead of adding to pet overpopulation (by buying from a breeder)! I volunteer at a shelter (though haven't been able to lately), and it's all I can do to stop bringing home these beautiful, unwanted dogs (I have three mutts, one of whom is a genius). Anyway, I just love hearing that people are getting the message to adopt from shelters and rescues.

jacquie~~Thanks for liking the name I gave my pup..you girls always make me feel better! AA~~JT & TJ are cute names and thank you for liking the name I picked..knew my PS friends would be nice!! Aimee~~that's great that you worked at a shelter..it was hard for me to leave the other dogs, so I know what you mean by wanting to bring them all home..they had Nolas mother and I worry about her..I would have taken everyone of them if I could have~bless you for helping our animal friends~ ~~Big Hugs~~

I love the name Nola! So much that I will remember it if I ever get a dog. I want to get a pug, but my daughter (who is a HUGE animal person) told me not to go to a store, because they deal with puppy mills. She said I should go through a private person or something. I have four cats right now, and they rule my house. One of my cats belonged to my mother-in-law, who passed away many years ago. The cat doesn't get along with my other three, and they had horrible fights when we tried to put them together. So my mother-in-law's cat has his own large bedroom, walk-in closet, and small bathroom in my house. Not really HIS room, but we keep him in this area which is large enough for him to roam around while the other three of my cats get the rest of the house. I don't know how we would ever fit a dog in, but I'd like to get one someday now that my husband retired. I'd name the dog NOLA because I really do like that name!!

So Mum in Law still rules the roost! Just kidding!

Ahh..sugar..you have made my day! I just told my best friend I named my dog Nola and she made a face and said "well that sure is different" maybe I just take things the wrong way..peri is ruling my emotions right now..but thats so sweet that you'd name your dog Nola..thanks for cheering me up. I bought a cocker spaniel from a pet store once..she was the sickest dog I ever had..she was purebeed but sick from day one. I think your daughter is right..get one from a individual or shelter. I love cats too.. I have 3. Thats good you have the extra room for your mother-in-laws kitty..you'd think they would eventually get along..it is stressful for the other pets when a new one appears..my indoor kitty is a little tense about the pup..but sometimes the cat chases the pup and puts her in her place!! I keep the pup indoors only at night..she has a big kennel in the daytime. Hope you get your dog someday~~ Thanks again all of you who made me feel better..like I said..I think I'm a bit touchy these days about things..can't help it..peri is ruling the roost!! HUGS

Aimee, You've piqued my curiosity - tell us about your genius dog! Jacquie

O.K., you asked for it. It's true, my dog is a certified genius. Got him from the shelter when he was 3 months old (a smallish dog, like a Jack Russell, only Hines 57 variety). He began coughing non-stop when we brought him home, so we took him to vet after vet (kennel cough) thinking he was going to die. We were completely in love with him. No one told us that one day (2 weeks later) he would just stop coughing, but that's what happened (except we'd spent $300). But I digress. This dog, even as a puppy, understood English perfectly. You could tell him to go get his red ball, instead of the blue one, and he'd leave and hunt the entire house for the red one and bring it back. Outdoors, he never needed boundary training--he never leaves the property edges (but we never let him out alone). You can be upstairs with him and tell him you are going to go get the mail and he runs down the stairs and circles the front door to go with you, before you've even gotten up from the computer. If you say he has to go to the vet, he begins to shake. If you turn on water in the guest room tub, he runs under the bed (that's where we bathe him). When he wants his nightly treat and it's past when he usually gets it, he comes up and kisses me on the face until I go down and we get the turkey (he is relentless, like the Vietcong). Just so many things. He just learned English really fast, never just the one-word commands. My dh claims when he came home one night Noodle (we call him) had the T.V. on Animal Planet. I actually believe it. I'm not just a proud, bragging mother, because my other two are just dumb (but lovable). One of those is a beautiful purebred (rescue)--purebreds, in my experience, are bred for looks, not brains. Thanks for asking.

Amazing.......Puppies have changed the mood from "irritated all the time" to awwwww! Great arn't they.... ~~~now where were we? :mad: lol

Jimi The Pups are the only things that put a smile on my face these days. I dont now how I could ever live without them. I think everyone need an pet in their lives. Peace AA

Hi jimi~AA.. I guess this topic started out about my irritation with my cousin then went to pups..that's great..animals can make us feel so good!! I dont know how I'd live without mine either! I just love animals so much~~they take the edge off our irritation.. Ok..can I vent a bit..need an opinion on this and it has to do with someone irritating me once again!! Geez..am I going nuts or do I really have reasons to be upset?? so here goes..I live in a small community..go to a small church and everyone here knows everybody else. About 10 years ago a couple from from baltimore moved in..we love getting new people..but this lady has not liked me from the start. She came into the community and immediately took over everything..from the community firehall to the church to anything she could control. I am in no way a control freak..as a matter of fact, I try to be just the opposite..I help when I'm needed and try so hard to be a nice person. Yesterday, we had a funeral to attend and like many small communites..we go to the firehall for a meal afterwards. I went in and back to the kitchen to be helpful..I asked this lady (who was running around like a mad woman) "what can I do to help you out" she goes " for heavens sake, just start sitting the food dishes out" I heard her being rude to others also. I ended up just leaving and not helping at all. Why was she so rude?? I always say hello to her in church..and she acts like its an effort to speak..anyway I know I should let it go..but I've tried for 10 years to be a friend to her..but now I'm IRRITATED once again..Is this peri or do I really have a reason to be upset. I realize we are all different but rudeness is just something I can't take..any advice for me from my dear PS friends on how to handle this situation...Thanks for listening to me rant~~HUGS

I think you handled the situation just fine ~ exactly what I would have done and after that I would let it go...... It's obvious this poor woman has greater meno/personality issues that you - she needs POWER SURGE! The worst thing you could do for yourself is let it get to you and as for befriending her....WHY would you bother??? Her actions are her own - but your reactions are up to you. Everyone has a choice of behavior. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words

finola, it isn't peri when people are rude and you feel irritated. You have every right to feel irritated with this woman, who never should have spoken to you in this manner. It sounds like she is your mother and you are a little kid! You deserve a lot more respect than that. I had some very bad problems with my family when I was in peri, and I would cry sometimes. So of course I blamed myself for crying and thought I was hormonal, until someone told me that you shouldn't always blame yourself for reacting in the correct way by getting irritated or crying when you have a good reason. It's only when it is over something small or something over which you have no control. Like crying if it rains outside, or flying into a rage when the traffic light doesn't change fast enough. I've done this, too, but that IS probably hormonal. Also, you are a much better person than I am, because when I don't care for someone, I don't even speak to them and this is probably wrong, but I don't. You are right about animals. One of my cats just adores me and whenever I sit at my desk to write some checks, she gets up and stands right on top of my checkbook, purring and wanting me to pet her. She takes her big silky head and butts it into my hand. I just feel like melted butter when she does this (I know I sound like a sappy old woman with my cats, which I am ), but they say animals can lower your blood pressure and do other good things for you, and I believe that.

Hi Finola I agree with Jimi. You did what most of us would do. Some people are just like that. They makes themselves feel better by belittling others. I'm sure you are not the only one who feels this way about this women. Sooner or later she will ailenate everyone around her by her behavior. I would stop trying to be-friend her,she is not worth your time. Let her come to you,and if she does, fine, if she doesnt,dont sweat it. She'll probably never change. Peace AA "HI" to Nola, from TJ & JT

Just one last thought! It's kinda ironic that this woman goes to church every sunday. What is she learning, she sure is not acting as God would want her to act. Peace AA

Hi Friends~~just came home from working at the old one room school we're restoring and found all your replies..Thanks so much for helping~~ jimi~I know you're right..just let it go, and I will try, she probably does need power surge, by the way she is my age and born one day after me..on Halloween!! I could say something here about the Halloween B-day but I wont..lol! sugar~~I could learn a lesson from you and not speak to people I don't like..I think thats "good advice"..don't know why I try so hard..she really isn't anything to me..your cat story is so cute..aren't they just precious..my pets get me through alot of bad times~~ AA~~she has alienated others..very few people like her..but she still runs around like a queen, giving orders and being her usual self. I was thinking the same thing..she sits in church each sunday, but treats people badly..something wrong with that picture!! by the way..a close friend of mine who works with this lady told me today that she is so jealous of her husband that if he is friendly with any other ladies she dislikes those ladies..so I think I may know why she hates me..he always says hello..or waves if I'm outside working or jokes around..but he does this to everyone....but my friend says her jealousy is a big problem and everyone knows it..this poor woman sure does need Power Surge~ Thanks Again for helping..I will take all your advice and resolve this situation..it's great to have a place to go and talk, theres not always someone who will listen but you girls are great!! BIG HUGS

Nola Sends TJ & JT a BIG HI back!!

Yes, finola, when I read your post the thought crossed my mind that the woman might be having troubles with meno, but I didn't want to assume that. This kind of snappy response is characteristic of that, although not the right response, that is for sure. One of my co-workers snapped at me this morning and I know that she is at that place like we are. I don't like to just tolerate it, but I guess I can sympathize. She is even using Revival Soy (on my recommendation). I do feel badly when women are suffering and they are obviously having flashes and they don't feel good, because I certainly went through that. But you have to at least try to control yourself, right?

Hi Finola- Peri/ Meno/ PMS are not excuses to mistreat anyone, and especially at a funeral!!! Leaving the situation was really the only option she gave you. I can tell by your other posts that you are way to kind to let her have it (unlike me!) and that was the only other option she gave you!! Try to let it go. It's only wasting your time and weighing on YOU. She obviously doesn't care about how she treats others! Your story has reminded me once again how important it is to treat our neighbors with respect, and friendship. If the lady hasn't "gotten it" in 10 years, I doubt she ever will. I understand how this could make you angry, but really, it's sad. It sounds like this woman has very little joy in her life- meno or not.

Believe me leanne, I would love to let her have it..but I just can't seem to find it in me..instead I pout and rant to my hubby and you gals..who are so kind to listen..and you are so right..after 10 years she won't change~~thanks for your reply!! sugar...I'm pretty sure she is in peri...because I just realized thats why she turns all the church heaters back in the winter..she goes to each heater and turns them way back..then the elderly ladies freeze~~sorry you got snapped at too..it's no fun~~ I was helping with a dinner one time and she wouldn't let me cut up celery for the turkey stuffing..said she has her own special knife..and certain size the celery has to be cut, isn't that funny!!

Aimee, Noodle sounds so incredibly adorable (and yes, indeed, VERY smart)! I can just hear your love for this little dog. Thanks for bragging! When he gets his bath in the guest bathroom, do you call him "Wet Noodle?" Finola, it sounds as tho' your church colleague must be a very sad woman, very insecure. Too bad she lashes out as she does, as it won't get her what she needs - loving friends. I agree that it's best that you go about your business, without seeking a connection here. Perhaps one day she'll come to understand how she's been alienating others, and will try to reach out. Life is sooooo complicated! Jacquie

ROTFLMAO!!! "WET NOODLE"!! HA! HA! HA! Ya crack me up JJ. Not laughing at the name, just the joke. I like the name noodle,it's cute. Peace AA

Hi Ladies, I just recently experienced a situation where a friend (UNDER the influence) told me she didnt want to hear about my meno again. I was crushed, and the funny thing was I really never talked that much to her about it . I tell you something I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy! I am so Happy I have found this sight to vent... I think every woman is unique and special and we all have something to offer each if we only listen... P.S. There are so many days I feel anger because of this meno!!!But after 4 years of many ups and downs my doctor is so close to a remedy for me that is starting to make me feel whole again... You are all WONDERFUL WOMEN ! WE must stick together!!!!!! Take Care, Sappy

AND STICK TOGETHER WE WILL!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!

...like wet noodles

Finola, if the woman likes her celery chopped to a certain size she may have OCD. However, if she's rude to you again why don't you ask her (in a friendly manner) why she's being rude to you (don't ask why she doesn't like you - that's her hard luck). You will be truly amazed how puffed up people shrink to the size of a burst balloon. It really takes them off-guard and makes them sooo uncomfortable.

Noodle...what a great name for a smart dogger. He's using his "noodle". LOL IT's amazing how pets can make you feel better. My horse (from my youth) was my buddy. He just new when I was having a bad day. He trusted me and i trusted him, that's what made us unbeatable. He was a great friend. There was an article in one of the magazines I get about a young man plagued with anxiety attacks who had a service dog paired with him. The dog now can sense when his anxiety increases and signals to the boy that he needs to do self care. Now this young man can go to school, out to eat, movies, etc., when before this dogger he couldn't even leave his house. The power of animals. WOW! Michelle

I'd teach it to do the shopping!

finola, I laughed when I pictured that woman turning down the heaters and the elderly women getting cold. It struck me funny but probably if it happened to me, I'd be complaining the loudest. Sappy, you just keep coming here to PowerSurge where you will have a lot of good company and support. Forget trying to talk to people about meno. I've had the very same experience with some of my so-called friends who are my age but who are in complete denial about everything. I just mention hot flashes or trouble sleeping, and they close up and walk away. Then I come here, and everyone is so open and caring and I can vent about anything and get help. Thank goodness for this website. Michelle, I saw a television program where a young girl who had epileptic seizures had a dog who was trained to sense when a seizure might occur, and get her to safety if she was out in public or something. I just love animals. They are incredible.

Finola: First, love the name Finola. second, we have a woman that lives in my town who is EXACTLY like the woman you described. I love in a small town and this woman, who is the same age as me, came from NewYork City. Her husband's family owns one of the factories here, so she got stuck living here when she married him and that is exactly what she considers it, STUCK! The woman can't seem to settle down to the fact that this is NOT New York City. She has taken over every community service possible and though she thinks they like her, no one can stand her. She flies off at the drop of a hat to New York because, as she says, she has to go get a fix of the Real World. Okay, for her, but she doesn't realize people are smiling in her face, but laughing behind her back. Most people just ignore her and her uppity ways. The woman thinks she Paris Hilton or somebody, for God's sake! On another note, I had my OWN sister, who is also menopausal, LAUGH at what I had on once becauseI was wearing capris with ties which my nineteen year old said were not supposed to be tied. My nineteen year old said you only tie the things if you want to look old, otherwise, you just let them hang. Well, my sister laughed at me and said, "God, you don't even know how to wear your pants!" Was I mad? You bet! I am not as kind as some people here and so, when we sat down to play Trivial Pursuit, I continually made fun of this same sister whenever she answered a question wrong. Was it right to do this? No, but I did it anyway. I have fINALLY learned, after ten years of this Hell called menopause, how to control my temper! No matter what anyone says to me, I simply smile at them and say nothing. I may be seething inside, but I control myself and actually laugh inside knowing that my Mona Lisa smile at whatever they say totally confuses them and they have NO idea what I'm thinking! Hey, Sugar, I live close to you and have actually been through your town several times. Peace to everyone.

jacquie~I bet this lady is insecure..but she doesnt act it..I know sometimes people cover up there insecurities by pretending to be so strong and powerful..life and people are so complicated..you are so right!! sappy~I only have one friend that will discuss meno with me. my mom, cousin, and others always seem to change the subject..wonder why they do that? Sometimes they act like they're scared to talk about it~~ jimi~you make me laugh..what a great sense of humor you have!! alice~you know. she may have OCD since everything has to be done just perfect and in her own way, this poor lady may have more problems than I know!! I want to ask why shes rude, but in 10 years could never bring myself to do it..maybe on one of my whacko peri days I will!! I'd like to see if she freezes or answers my question~ michelle~I love horses, they have such beauty. I never had room to have one..our fields are full of pumpkins, so no space for a horse, but they are a special animal! irish51~~I love your name also~~esp. since I am fascinated by anything irish. My great-grandparents came over from ireland and now I research about my ancestors and dream of going there someday!! so you know a lady that is rude too..the one I know came from the city too. Baltimore MD..she ran a deli there and I guess was used to being in control..but country life is very different and she too has alienated lots of people here..pity they can't see what they are doing~sorry your sister laughed..you have a right to wear your clothes how you choose~go figure people??? I think I'd be better off if I didn't try to understand them! so good to sit down here and read everyones posts..you are very wise women!!! I'm learning alot!!~HUGS~

Hi Irish, and CSugar, You both have made my DAY!!!!!! Thats exactly what I do now is smile to get through and vent to my friend Cabo or come to this sight now to hoot ,holler , share and even get a couple of laughs... Have a wonderful weekend!!!Sappy

Hello Again , I wanted to say it seems to me when I vent about my anger or talk about it on this sight it diffuses the anger right away... I wish I would have used this sight before,but I have arrived and everybody here makes me feel so STRONG! Bye Again, Sappy