Does anyone have to take care of their elderly parents while going through menopause? I am(they don't live with, though) I am constantly running back and forth for one crisis after another. My health is not too good, either and I lost my husband 4yrs ago(I was only 47). I know it's been awhile since but i've never had the time to really grieve since i've been running like a maniac to help them all the time. On the other hand, I have a sister who still has her husband who dosen't lift a finger to help and she lives closer to them. This is wreaking havoc on my health and my nerves. I have not had one vacation of time off since my husband passed away and boy, am i feeling it badly! I really need a break but don't know where to go or to turn. All my friends have their families or children and can't get away. What to do? thankyou ps please don't ask me to talk to my sister. been there, done that. no hope there.

Hi, Well, I can identify. When my FIL passed away, my MIL moved in with us. She was in reasonable health, but was afraid to stay alone. I was perimenopausal, had a teenager still at home (he was 15 at the time), my husband's siblilngs were useless when it came to helping out (running errands, picking up meds, taking her shopping, doctor visits, etc.), both my parents lived in town and were having health issues and I had my own health issues (MS). Whew! It was overwhelming. The final straw was when I couldn't go on vacation with my husband and son because the other siblings weren't willing to stay with their mother or have her stay with them, even for a week (she was not an easy person to get along with.) Since my husband's presence was more important than mine on a vacation with a teenager (I have some mobility issues), he and my son went on vacation without me. A lawyer who was helping us with her financial matters gave us some good advice. He suggested next time vacation time rolled around, to contact the siblings, tell them we were going out of town, and the fridge was stocked with food for my MIL, but they were responsible for looking after her while we were gone. In other words, don't give them a choice. Just make your plans and go. Sounds like that would be good advice for you. Plan your "break", inform your sister (don't " talk" to her, just tell her), and let the chips fall where they may. I must add that eventually my MIL's fear of being alone became so great that she was insisting that someone stay with her at all times. She is now living in an retirement home. It's a lovely place with hundreds of other seniors, and though she has her own apartment, she feels secure because they check on the residents and she knows there are people at the front desk that will send someone up to her room should she need them. So I can empathize, problem is, no one is going to offer to help, you'll have to take a stand and make them help. Feeling overwhelmed is only natural!

Dad is getting a slightly more disabled, and is being thrown out of his home this summer. They are selling the property (rental) to a car dealership. I don't think they are going to pass up the 1.5 mil. they are offered just to keep his sorry self on the property. Just when my last child is finally going off to college this fall, this comes up. I would be more compassionate, but he was an abusive, alcoholic father who left my mother for a 19 year old, and now wants to know which one of us will help him out. If he were a sweet old man who hadn't been daddy-dearest, I would feel more compelled to help. But,.....he is my father......sigh.