Hi, I've been on-and-off with anxiety and depressed feelings for a few months, but in the past few days, feel I'm slipping deeper into depression. The sensation is so frightening! I have an appointment with a counselor tomorrow afternoon, and with my regular doctor on Wednesday, but am having trouble just getting through from hour to hour until I see them. I've come very close to asking my husband to take me to the hospital. I'm holding on to Claire Weeke's advice in her book "Hope and Help for Your Nerves," where she suggests "floating" over the feelings. I can do this for moments at a time, but then begin to be utterly overwhelmed again. I don't feel suicidal, just very afraid. What if this continues to worsen? What if I have to be hospitalized? I so need your prayers, and also, ANY advice you can give me for holding on. I'm going for walks, doing a little yoga, eating when I can, trying to read a bit, but feel so agitated and worn-out while doing all of this. Have any of you gone through this and survived? Can you give me any ideas on how to keep plugging while feeling so awful? I love you all, my meno-sisters. Thank God you are there.

Jollie: My heart goes out to you & you will have my prayers. I wish I could run over there and hug you and cry with you. Try to get out into the sunlight if you can. That is one of the BIG things that helped me. Just like you, I went through this in early 2001 and I got medication. It helped. I know you might think I'm crazy but what I did was focus on God's little gifts to us while on this earth. I listened to the birds, looked at the flowers (from the sunroon), looked at the sky and clouds, opened the sun room doors and felt the warm breezes, laid on the couch in the sunroom with my feet up and listened and smelled - deep breathing - like meditating. It did help me at times - maybe it can help you today. Put a cold pack on your forehead and eyes and lay back, legs up, relax relax relax. One other thing that would help alot is that my husband would take me for a ride - I would go after alot of arm twisting and we would ride with the windows down. At that point in my life, I wouldn't even drive much less leave the house. But to be with him who tried everything - riding in the car helped. It got me out and the wind in your face and hair helped me to forget for a little while. I know I am rambling, trying to write back quickly so you can know others are out here rooting and caring for you. XOXOXOXOX Tina

It breaks my heart and I'm back still thinking of more things to help you. Remember this always: "God will never give you any more than you cannot handle". I learned that when my 4-day old daughter died in 1979. She would have been 25 years old last Friday. You CAN get through this. This will not destroy you. When you are past this, you can chalk it up to another life lesson you were able to overcome. I was so lost in 2001; so far removed from my path in life. I could not understand what was happening to me. My core, my center was gone - the place I went to within myself for solace had disappeared. The doctors helped me and I began to fight to get "myself" back again. How did I ever get that way? I'll never know except it may have been from letting my work & stress just take over perhaps. My point is, I got "me' back again and you will too Jollie. My "life is a bowl of cherries" turned into lemons somehow and I worked hard to get my bowl of cherries back. Lots of Hugs & Prayers for you Jollie, Tina

Oh Jolie, at the worst I kept asking my husband to bring me to the hospital. I started taking meds again, plus straightened out the thyroid. Please know that if you aren't overtly suicidal, they aren't going to hospitalize you. I'm still stuggling, so don't know why I'm offering advice. You're overwhelmed and panicking, plus I recognize some castastrophic, obsessive thinking. Wonder why I recognize this.lol This gets exhausting. Take it a minute at a time. Let's both try and minimize our, "what ifs," okay. Prayers sent up to Portland. Plus, cry, cry, cry. I felt the worse when the tears were blocked. I swear, I would have slit my throat if I couldn't cry. We can literally feel like we're in the midst of a war zone. Honey, do keep in touch, I'm worried about you. Come here to vent your fears and frustrations. Sunlight is a wonderful suggestion. Keep walking, I did. I panicked and sobbed, but walk I did. The neighbors must think I'm either abused, or a major case. These awful days will come to pass. I'm glad you've decided to talk to someone. We only have so much strength. I hope you're resting, as well. Panic saps every last bit of energy. Plus, write it all out, as I do enjoy your posts.

And, I know the frustration of using a technique, and just having it work momentarily.

Hi Jolie, from your post it sounds like you might have anxiety ( a fear) rather than depression. You could check out the forum on Anxiety's thread "Every single solitary thing to do about anxiety" for some ideas on coping with anxiety. I know that there are on-line tests and tests in books which will allow you to assess your level of depression ie. mild, moderate, or severe. Additionally depression is classified by how long it endures isn't it? Many people suffer from depression for a while and then recover. What I have found in peri/meno is that I am very suggestive. Mood swings are part of the symptoms too. I try not to take my emotions too seriously. I have had a few brief strikes (minutes) of severe depression that came and went very quickly and found those episodes very daunting. After reading your post, I was left with the question about what had changed for you, what your situation was. You could look at where you are in your menstrual cycle, what you have been eating or drinking lately and so on and see if that sheds any light on your moods. Here are some things which I have read that help depression: exercise; 30 minutes of beautiful music; making a simple check list of things to do and doing it; taking B-vitamins and other vitamins and minerals known to help the nervous system; eating chocolate; and smiling and laughing, even if you do not find anything funny. If you can eat them normally, a meal of fish (for the Omega-3 fatty acids) or turkey (to boost seratonin) can be a big picker-upper. Here's a book suggestion: Natural Alternatives To Prozac by Michael T. Murray, N.D. I realise how much hormones affect our minds at this point in our life, however good basic health measures like Michael Murray describes in his book can help us cope, lower the bar. Hope you feel better soon.

Hi JJ Yes I too have been where you are right now. It is the worst time I ever had in my life. You sit there wondering what brought me to this god awful place. You cannot understand what is happening to you and you wonder if you will ever get over it. Believe me, YOU WILL!! As you can see from all these other women who have posted, we have all been in the same place you are now. I know it feels like the end of the world but IT WILL GET BETTER!! You can take that to the bank. I know when I was going thru it, I felt like I was losing my mind, I thought they were getting my Pink straight jacket ready. And I was hoping my rubber room would at least be a nice color. I had never felt sooo bad in my life. But I am still here, I did not go crazy. When you feel you absolute worst that is when you know that light at the end of the tunnel will be coming soon. I promise you it will be OK. I wish I had known about this website when I first started all this peri stuff , it really is a godsend. And yes, when you are in that awful place, you think of ending it all. But me, I was too big a chicken-S**T. But here is how I got thru it. Think about your kids or any child that you are close too, and then think, "I really want to know what they will grow up to be. What kind of person they will be. The difference they will make in this world. Etc." You will be surprised how fast you will start thinking different about your own life. You will realize that you want to know how your life is going to turn out. And you start to look toward the future. Which is something we dont do while we are in peri because we cant see past what is happening now. I know I rambled some but I hope you get something out of what I'm trying to say. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Feel better soon!

Tina, Aw, Dear Chris, Whitehorses & Anxiety Attack, - thank you so much for responding! I'm feeling a little better than when I wrote the post this morning - still very shaky and raw, but not quite as frightened. It's daunting to wake up and find yourself bawling within 15 minutes... I went to visit my mom - like yours, Tina, my hub dragged me off for a ride, since it's so sunny in Maine today. It was so strange to be "home" feeling like this, but Mom was so kind and loving (she's usually a pretty tough nut, so this felt like an especial gift today!). We stopped at a yard sale, and there were all these books about getting through hard times, one by the Dalai Lama, some about prayers and meditation. I bought about 9 of them. Isn't it coincidental? Just reading their covers felt a little encouraging. The biggest help of all is hearing that some of you've gone through it, and survived. And your willingness to extend yourself to another meno-sister. Your kindness means everything... Thank you so much!

It's funny Jollie but I also have more anxiety at home then I do when I am out and around other people (unless I'm in a mall or big store). I agree about the B-vitamins and I just learned this from a nurse I work with at Hospice. Look for the Stress B-complex. Making lists and getting that good feeling when you check off what youve completed is a great great idea. You will get a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. Crying is a release valve. It is a purely natural release and tension buster. These last few weeks with my body chaning so much I've become so weepy - at work and at home. I cried over a patient that died last week. I am crying because my son is improving in school and will be 16 soon and on and on. Those books you picked up sound wonderful. I don't believe in concidence too much; I believe you needed those books and God put you in the right place at the right time. Let us know what the doctor says tomorrow, OK? Tina

Glad you feel better. It does stink to awaken sobbing. This will get better, make that your mantra.

Jolie, bless your heart. Yes, I've been through pretty close to the exact same thing that you were/have been going through. And it IS so frightening, and I did end up having to take medication for it. Still carry it in my purse with me WHERE EVER I go. And yes, it did pass. Some days I start to feel like it's happening again, but I think I more or less convinced myself that it is ONLY fluctuating hormones, and will pass. And if I have to take a xanax? I take one. When the anxiety level gets high. Hang in there girl, you're going to get through this. ALL of us, are going to get through this. HUG!!!!!!!!!! Kleeo

These fluctuating hormones will drive you down right WACKY!!!! We can all vouch for that!!!! Brighter days ahead, Jolie. My emotions have never felt so raw in my life!! I've felt as this had stripped me to the utter core. One minute at a time, Jolie. Lean on us, we're here for you!!!!!

Say a tiny prayer that I get some sleep, please. Thanks. Sleep deprivation makes me unable to focus for beans.:o

Jolie, You sound truly blessed in the matrimony department. I know you've expressed gratitude for your husband before. I know that I am loved by mine, as well. Plus, I'm glad mom was supportive!!!

Thanks, Dear Ones... I've just reread this before going to bed - want the little boost of your kind words to resonate as I try to drift off. Chris, if I could, I would give the sleep fairy a million dollars to blow some dust your way... Kleeo, thanks so much for sharing your experience. Your posts are so full of life - it's encouraging to know you've been here, and are better now. Tina, I have to agree about coincidence. I'm going to read those books slowly - see what God wants me to find. Thanks for your kind posts today. I love you all - thanks again so much.

Hi. I just read your post. Please listen, you are okay. Tell yourself that. Now, tell yourself that again. You have got to grab ahold and bring yourself back in. You can do it. Self-coach yourself. You are okay. Really, everything will be okay. Make yourself smile and your body and spirit will respond in a happy positive way. You are okay. Everything is okay. Go to your appointments as scheduled. But between now and then know that you can help yourself starting right now. Change your negative thoughts into positive thoughts. You are okay.

Hi Jolie: I know you don't know me cuz I am new here. I have been where you are many times b4. I have had anxiety & depression for over 25 yrs now. I know it is very difficult and scarey but as the others are saying...You WILL be fine!!! I promise you. I know it is he** on earth while you are experiencing this fear but it will get better. I used to be bad with the "what ifs" but I have learned to change them into a positive. Also if I feel anxious when I go to bed I start going thru the alphabet with...say...girl's names ie...A=Angela, B=Brenda, etc. I go thru the whole alphabet the best I can with girl's and then boy's name. It is impossible to continue to think worrying thoughts while you are doing this exercise. I told my therapist & she said it was a good idea kind of like counting sheep. I hope maybe something I have said will help you. Please know that I am thinking of you and I hope you start to feel better soon. Michelle:)

HI JolieJacq - I was reading what everyone said to you and I can relate to all of it - I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.............All the advice these great gals gave has helped me too - and I'm a little attention impaired tonight with PMS - but one other thing that has helped me during times like you are describing t is Magnesium/Calcium. Especially before bed - but every day making sure to get at least 600-800 mg of magnesium on top of the calcium. Folic acid too. I hope you find some relief, I totally believe you will get through this, tho it may take some time. But it is time that many of your meno sisters have to sit by your side..... ((((HUGS))))) -Mary Beth:)

I think it will make you feel better to see how many of us are in the same boat. I remember when this same thing hit me I was actually afraid to be alone. But you know what, you wouldn't be where you are if your weren't a brave soul. We all would have shriveled up and gone running and screaming from life years ago. I trust our prayers will help you and know that you have the strength deep within your soul. Your nerves are just close to the surface right now from hormone surges and changes. But once you take time to sit in the sun, enjoy the birds singing and think back to a time when you were a little girl and knew the feeling that God and Jesus are sitting right next to you, you'll feel better. You'll be fine. All our prayers are with you. Remember when the panic sets in a lot of the feeling is that there's no one who can help you, no one who can save you...there is God is there for you always.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I'm so raw this morning, counting the minutes until my appointment this afternoon. It's raining, which isn't helping my spirits. I fluctuate between thinking 'dig in and hang on,' and wanting to go to the hospital. Can they help me? I'm so afraid I'll go so deep, there's no return. I was doing a little better last night, and now am in the thick of it again. It's exhausting. But hanging on so far. Your kindness means everything... Love, Jacquie

{{{jolie}}} I just now found your post. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. So much good advice from those that have posted to you. Some of which I will myself as I was having a really bad time just two days earlier than you. I can't count the number times that I have stood on the edge of the abyss, so weary of trying to keep my balance and fighting to ignore the whispers that beckon me in... all temporal, thank God!... but getting THROUGH to the safe side of those moments was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I know that medications would help me but they are not an option I have right now so I am relegated to toughing it out. I've always been tough so you would think I'd be used to it but never... ever... has anything stripped me so raw, made me so vulnerable or stolen so much. If it weren't for the phenomenal women who frequent (dare I say ... LIVE AT?) this site, I really believe I would have toppled into that abyss by now. Thank God for each and every one of them!! It is absolute h*ll getting through these deep, difficult times but you CAN do it. You are strong, you are woman!! I Am Woman Helen Reddy [Words and Music by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton] I am woman, hear me roar In numbers too big to ignore And I know too much to go back an' pretend 'Cause I've heard it all before And I've been down there on the floor No one's ever gonna keep me down again Oh yes, I am wise But it's wisdom born of pain Yes, I've paid the price But look how much I gained If I have to I can do anything I am strong (strong) I am invincible (invincible) I am woman You can bend but never break me 'Cause it only serves to make me More determined to achieve my final goal And I come back even stronger Not a novice any longer 'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul Oh, yes, I am wise But it's wisdom born of pain Yes, I've paid the price But look how much I gained If I have to I can face anything I am strong (strong) I am invincible (invincible) I am woman I am woman watch me grow See me standing toe to toe As I spread my lovin' arms across the land But I'm still an embryo With a long, long way to go Until I make my brother understand Oh, yes, I am wise But it's wisdom born of pain Yes, I've paid the price But look how much I gained If I have to I can face anything I am strong (strong) I am invincible (invincible) I am woman Oh, I am woman I am invincible I am strong I am woman I am invincible I am strong I am woman My prayers and best wishes are with you today. I hope your appointment went well and you are feeling better now. Let us know how you're doing... we care and love ya. Hang in there. xoxo

Trish, Thanks for giving me the lyrics of "I am Woman." I loved this song in the 70's, and haven't thought of it in so long. Dear Meno-sisters, I honestly don't know how I got through this day. Came so close to calling the crisis hotline, or driving myself to the hospital. But I'm here, hanging in and SO GRATEFUL for you. The meeting with the counselor went well - she recommended anti-depressants right away, to get me out of this horrid funk. I called my regular doc, who will have to prescribe them, and he's going to see me tomorrow. This is a scary new road - these can take some getting used to, and take some time to work, but it's necessary right now. Also, I'm going to do some counseling weekly for awhile. This is necessary - in honesty, the past year has been a hard one, so it's time to get some things straightened out. Also called my daughter's naturopath - pulling out all the stops here. She has patients who are on traditional anti-depressants, and works with them to round out other aspects of their health, good diet, etc. I asked the counselor what to do if I just can't handle it alone, and she said go to the hospital. This feels so scary, but she said they would be able to help get me in some kind of better shape. I just don't want to go there. My hub is in the process of closing down his business anyway, so has announced he's going to try to work from home as much as possible while this is going on. He is being so beautiful - brought me a big bouquet of roses tonight. I feel so bad that I can't eat, can't make love, and that nothing brings happiness right now. Even having conversations with others makes me too edgy. He's trying so hard, always smiling when I look over at him. Just kinda breaks my heart, but when I'm better, I'm gonna love that man like crazy. Thank you so much, all of you. You have no idea how much this connection means right now. Love, Jacquie

I love your quote Trish. Jollie - So glad to see you made steps in the right direction. So very proud of you girl. You are going to make it through this. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to go to the hospital, they scare me and you never know if you'll get a kind and understanding doctor. Take care and relax a bit, you're on the right road now. Lots of Hugs to You ... Tina :D

Dear Jolie: I am so glad you made it to your appt. with the counselor & she is right, if you get to the point that you can't cope, go to the hospital. It is not so bad. I know it is scarey but there are good, caring & experienced people to help you. I work at a psychiatric hospital so I know. I have seen on both sides. Also please try not to feel bad that you are not able to laugh & love like before. All of this will pass and it does no good to feel guilty. It only makes you feel worse which you don't need right now. I continue to think of you & hope you are feeling better again soon. Michelle

PS your husband sounds like a really special man

Hi JJ Glad to hear the doc Appts. went well. I'm sure the pills will help you out. Just know this will probably be the worst you feel, and the rest of the road will be easier. It will take some time but it will get better. I have been there and I can say, it does get better. Take Care, AA

This whole thing is like trying to keep a car on an ice-covered road -- constantly fighting for control and trying to correct when you start to slide for no discernible reason, not daring to let my guard down even for a moment even when it feels like I'm rolling steadily ahead on a straight flat road. I've recognized for some time that I have anxiety attacks that seem to be peri-related, but I think I'm also starting to see signs of depression. Great. A double whammy. I live alone. The only soul I share my home with is my cat, who's been a constant companion for 12 years, and who is now very sick and may be dying. That, of course, is depressing and causing anxiety, but I feel like I'm only barely holding on. It's weird - last night I was with my family and had a ball. (Although I live by myself, all the parts of my nuclear family are within 15 minutes of each other.) As I always do when I leave those guatherings, I said a prayer of thanks for another opportunity for all of us to get together. You'd think that high would last longer than it does. I read about the problems of others, and realize that, at this point in time, my life is really a cakewalk. So why can't I shake the blues and the fear and the obsessing? That is rhetoric, of course. I know it's hormonal. But that's like being stuck outside in the rain, and understanding how nature makes the rain, but that understanding doesn't stop me from getting soaked, cold, wet, miserable, and there's nowhere to get in out of it. I've thought before about phoning my GYN and asking about Xanax, soy, etc. Can anyone here speak about how either of those - or anything else - works with both anxiety and depression?

Believe it or not I am on this site. I just saw your post to Jacquie. I was trying to post before you got off line. Anyway, I'll talk to you soon I am sure. LY djt JACQUIE.....Be strong !! Be tough !! We are all angels with only one wing and we can only fly embracing each other. Love Ya. djt

Xanax is a benzodiazepine which is most useful for panic or anxiety. It is addictive, so is best used as needed, rather than daily. Soy will lower cholesterol, but there are no concrete studies concerning menopause. Lots of ladies swear by it, but it give me major gas and stomach cramps. SSRIS are generally used for depression. Countries where lots of fish is eaten have lower depression rates. St. John's Wort may help mild depression. Walking was just as effective as Zoloft in studies. Oh, the SSRIS will help anxiety, as well. Or, they could make it worse. I had noticed they use to make me less obsessive. Withdrawal can occur with both SSRIS and benzodiazepines. Benzodiazepines withdrawal is similar to alcohol withdrawal. I never had any problem with Prozac or Zoloft withdrawal. Effexor was fine the time I tapered. Once I just ran out, which was a mistake. The SSRIS make more seratonin available in the brain. The benzodiazepines affect GABA receptors. Both types of drugs can stop working. Hope this helped!!!!

Actually, they use benzodiazepines to withdraw heavy drinkers from alcohol. Benzos can be tapered and withdrawn from, with daily use, as well. Rarely, withdrawal from benzos can cause seizures.

Of course, both the SSRIS and Xanax have a list of side effects.

Jolie, I'm thinking of you, hoping you made it safely through the past day. Good luck at the doctor today. It'll get better, I promise. Remember that older lady in your dream. And, next time I'm hitting the skids, I'll conjure up the wise woman in your dreams. I wish these periods would just end!!!!! Others have passed through this hell before us to come out on the other side. Love ya, Chris

Oh, I just wanted to tell you how much your posts have helped me personally, Jolie. Reading "My aunt's confirmed it," gave me hope that although going through menopause is rough, there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I sense both your spirit and strength. Keep saying to yourself, I'm going to be okay.

Hey Jolie, Having a wonderful, understanding husband is something that will help you get through all of this - you are one lucky lady. SO many gals don't have the support from the men they love, and in my opinion that is SO important. I read all of your posts, and I pray that you will soon have some relief from this difficult time. You are very smart to be searching out solutions, and working with yourself. I admire the fact that you aren't a quitter. Before you know it, you'll be able to make love, and eat regular again, and you'll look back and it will all seem like a distant memory. Hang in there girl. We are ALL right behind you! Hugs, Kleeo

Also, I remember those days when food tasted like cardboard. Tough to be hungry when in utter angst. It got better. Now I keep raiding my husband's trunk for my potato chip stash. Those chips taste mighty good when I'm hormonal.

I'm so moved by all your posts - can't believe the outpouring of good spirit and caring. You can't imagine how this helps. In a couple of hours, I'll go to the doc, and start the journey some of you have taken with anti-dep meds. It's scary, but necessary. Just knowing I'm in the hands of a counselor, and about to start on something, makes me feel a little calmer today. Also just got my order of Revival this morning, and even if it doesn't help with the depression, it will be a relief to have the soy shakes, as I'm having a terrible time trying to eat anything. I love you all for your kindness! (Oh, and Dearest, again, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you....)

I saw the doc, and he has recommended Lexapro - it might also help with my social phobias, OCD, and also I have a chronic pain (bladder) condition that he said some people get some relief from while on SSRI's - what a blessing this would be. I'm not reading any of the posts about Lexapro right now, because I'm so suggestible, know I'll end up with everyone's side effects. I'm starting on a 1/2 dose, and will go up in a week if all's well. Thankfully, he gave me a month's worth of samples - I know this stuff isn't cheap. Also, I asked what to do if I get to the point I was at yesterday, wanting to go to the hospital, and he said to call him, and there are medications that can help during a total freak-out. So the journey begins... Also got my Revival today - it tastes good, and the sun came out, which has lifted my spirits some. I still feel very strange, but not despondent like yesterday. I've clung to your encouragement and ideas - have written many of your words and suggestions into my journal, and will go back to them for comfort. You are awesome, my meno-sisters.

Joliejacq - we're all encouraged by you being encouraged. Everyone's rooting for you. Tell me about your bladder pain/condition - I've been dealing with a non-diagnosable urethral tract pain for nearly four months now. What have you tried so far? Hang in there - we all need you. Where's the comfort face smiley when we really need it?

Lexapro is in the same family at Celexa which is what I am on. I am so glad things are looking a bit better already. Hang in there.

{Jolie} I'm very glad your appts went well and that you have some meds to help you get through these very bumpy times. Hang in there, sweetie. You've got all of us beside you and we won't let you fall. datadame, spend more time with your family. It sounds like it helps you a lot. Call a friend and go for a coffee, a walk in the park, watch a comedy, share a pizza. Anything that keeps you from being alone too long. And of course keep coming to PS!

Thank you, all. I'm still here, wobbly but here. Otter, I have a bladder condition called Interstitial Cystitis - it's chronic irritation of the bladder wall. It goes in and out of flare, and is very distracting when it flares up, as there's both discomfort and the urge to pee every 15 minutes or so. Usually I do pretty well with it, but this past week it's been a challenge - probably flaring with the depression & stress. You can get on the Interstitial Cystitis Association's website (don't remember the address, but you can google it) to see if any of the info feels pertinent to you. Today I wasn't able to get out of bed until 12:00 noon, but I did, and showered. I'm groggy with the meds - Lexapro and Ativan. Also groggy with the depression. We moved our bed over by the window, so I can see the trees and birds outside. I'm a little concerned about how out-of-it I feel. Is it okay for me to spend a good part of the day in bed resting? Or should I be pushing it more? My hub and I went for a short walk mid-afternoon, and I found it hard. Neither my counselor nor my M.D. was clear about this. In the old days, would I have been encouraged to just stay quiet? I'm finding it hell to be up and about - just did the dishes, my first big challenge of the day. I'm too wigged out to read or watch TV, but have been able to work on a jigsaw puzzle, and my husband has been reading from a nice, gentle, young adult novel to me. Thankfully he's planning to work from home again until I'm on my feet. Mostly I'm inclined to simply want to lie back and rest. How long does depression last? When will I have any energy again? If any of you have any experience with this, or advice, I'd really appreciate it. I'm working hard to be couragous, and keeping up my spirits that one day I'll get my life back. Love, Jacquie

Hi JJ. I guess there is a balance between resting and being active. Try a little of both and see what works for you. During peri/meno I think that the rules for "being busy" have changed. I say to err on the side of resting and nurturing yourself. I am saying this without taking into account what is needed to deal with the meds. I think Chris suggested to slowly ease into the meds. to avoid side affects. Maybe tell the ladies what dosage you are taking of your meds so that they can provide you with feedback? In terms of how long depression lasts, I imagine that depends on what is causing it. If your depression is caused by peri/menopausal hormonal fluctuations here are some questions for you to think about, and possibly tell us about so that we can provide you with feedback based on our experiences. What are your hormones doing? Where in your menstrual cycle and menopause are you? Are you taking anything to balance your estrogen? I did not suffer from perimenopausal depression I guess, although I may just not have classified my symptoms that way since I did not feel sad .

Jacquie, I suggest you rest for now, without guilt, if that's possible. You've taken care of everyone in the past, now just put your feet up. The stuff will wait!! I would continue walking, however.

THe Lexapro will likely take 3 weeks to be fully effective. The Ativan works right away, but can make you groggy. Some people get groggy from SSRIS, but this hasn't been my experience. Rest, rest, rest.

Jacquie, Does your husband have a brother??? I had to communicate via telephone, through the worst of my meltdown.(I hope) Then again, it's hard to set up a car dealership at home.

Hi Jolly- I had a friend who took Paxil for IBS and she said it made her feel really groogy and unable to get up until later in the day. Hopefully this groogy feeling will wear off in a couple of weeks. Did you ever try natural hormone replacement? I can't remember. Sandy

Hi Jolie: When I was having a hard time with depression, I did what I felt up to, which wasn't much at first. Be kind & gentle to yourself. Don't push yourself to do things you don't feel like doing. Things will get better gradually. Celexa starts to kick in at about 2-3 weeks so I am going to assume that Lexapro would be similar. Your anxiety will start to lessen & you will start feeling more like doing things. Until then, baby yourself. If you feel like staying in bed until noon, do it. You deserve it. Your husband sounds like a real sweetheart.

You have all made me feel so much better! I was totally wigged out about being so lethargic, but my body seems to be screaming for it. I've made a cozy spot in my bed, close to a window so I can see the trees and birds. Today is the first day (this is Maine) that I can have the windows wide open, and really hear the sounds of the outside. If only I could sit my computer on my lap, and spend my whole day with my meno-sisters - that would be the ultimate nurture! It's scary how out-of-it depression makes me feel. I can honestly say I'd never experienced it before, and will always be so much more understanding of others going through it. Is it God's way of bringing our crazy lives to a stop? Forced reflection time? Cause that's what it feels like. This morning someone came to the door, and my hub came upstairs carrying a lovely cactus arrangement - I started bawling immediately, knowing it was from my mother - my mom, who has been so cactus-y herself with her kids, hands off, don't get too close. That she's concerned about me just about broke my heart. She knows I love cactus plants, and it was a special way for her to send love. I'll probably feel weepy about this all day, but it's a good weepy. Lots to work through, I guess, and lots to just be patient about with hormones. I'm drinking the Revival, very glad there's something I can get down. It really is good. Chris, you always make me laugh! I have SEEN people with car dealerships at their homes, and I always think, "Oh, those poor wives," when I see all the cars parked all over the yard... My hub works in video production, and can do a lot of this via computer or phone. My heart goes out to you that you had to spend some time alone while going through this - it does help to have someone else right in the house. Thank you all for your caring. You are a real life-thread for me right now. BLESS YOU ALL!

Joliejacq: It's great to hear that you're feeling a little more hopeful. I've been struggling with the first depression of my life, too. I can't get used to not trusting my emotions - they've usually been so reliable. Now I have no idea where truth lies. Your thought that this just give us time to reflect is a good one. Have you read Red Moon Passage? It's a touch too new-agey for me, but does help you feel that menopause is a rite of passage that will help you become a spiritually beautiful butterfly at the end. I know that as a result of this I will be a lot more sympathetic towards people with emotional issues. Never could understand before why they just didn't brush off their feelings and move on. Boy, do I get it now! Thanks for the interstitial cystitis stuff, too. I'm still waiting for that diagnosis after four months of fluctuating pain. Anyway, my Dad's from Maine and I love to think of you sitting beside the window feeling just a little better. Hope it grows every day. Where's the hug icon? Otter

Otter, I didn't realize you are dealing with your first depression, too - another "depression virgin.":( Perhaps we can exchange ideas about what helps over time. Right now I'm mostly druggy feeling with the Ativan and Lexapro, waiting for things to settle down. Had only one bout today of the "darkest place," and popped an Ativan, which helped. I can see why this stuff is addictive, and I'm trying to take the smallest dose possible. Went for a walk, had breakfast and lunch outside, and ironed a small pile of clothes. That's been my day. Otherwise, sleep, rest, sleep, work on jigsaw puzzle, sleep. My counselor this morning said go ahead and rest, so I'm going for it. Too tired to read, and TV makes no sense. Too wobbly to exercize. One day at a time. Hub is making meals bless his heart. Oh, how I pray that one day I'll be my active self again. Right now, it's nice not to be terrified, tho'. Again, many thanks, meno-sisters. Jacquie