You will find it and along with it you will find answers. Hugs Janel
Talk, talk, talk. If you can't see a therapist, then use these boards to talk about what's bothering you. We may not be able to help like a therapist can, but we can listen and empathize.
Most importantly, have faith that "this too shall pass." Menopause is a time of jumbled emotions and highly charged feelings. So don't be afraid to reach out to us - we're here for you.Hugs,
Reading these encourage posts is helpful. I hope you are feeling better soon, Idie.
In the last year, I divorced, remarried, moved 2500 miles away from my home of 43 years. Miss my 2 kids like crazy. I've been hospitalized once for depression.On a new drug called Geodon (anyone heard of it yet?).Anyway, the edge of despair has passed, but I still get through the day with the sensation of barely having a grip, and often on the verge of panic. And I am starting a new job next week?? lol
Heidi
Thank you for sharing, and I am happy to hear that Zoloft was so effective for you. Are you on anything else at this time? I also had great results with Zoloft for several years, at one time the Dr. had me up to 200 mg./day. But in time it didn't seem to be effective, and in retrospect, I would know for sure the problem with depression became the result of hormonal deficiency. You're right, when there's been a substantial history of depression, it gradually becomes more clear that we are transitioning into something more complex than major depression. It's not only serotonin reuptake inhibitors that we need. Someone mentioned on this board that it's likely to take a while to find the correct HRT combination. My Dr. here put me on an oral contraceptive. I have heard that OC is actually stronger than other forms of hormone replacement and/or naturally compounded hormones. The trick is to find a Dr. who cares to listen women. They seem to be few and far between.
Then sometimes it's just midlife issues in general. I left both of my kids in my home town, 2500 miles away, remarried, and almost a year later my head is still spinning about this huge change in my life. I miss those kids to death, and sometimes have overwhelming feelings of guilt for having left my 12 YO.
Thanks for your post.
Hugs...Heidi
Thanks for listening everyone. I know I've said all of this before, which makes it hard to get on the boards and keep repeating things, but this has gone on for too long. I don't think its meno related. I don't think that any kind of pills can help. Maybe counseling, but where do you find a good counselor? Probably a support group would help, but what is this classified as? It feels like mourning. Mourning for the life and relationships I wish that I had. Mourning for a loss of peace of mind. And then the mourning produces depression or anger. And because too many people will tell you that anger is bad, it produces more depression.
Thanks again for listening.
I am so sorry to read that you are down again... this is really pretty pervasive stuff until we get it sorted out for ourselves, and if we do not, I am afraid it will just keep churning around inside. 
I am going to suggest to you again that you, your daughter, and, possibly your husband, also, get to a counselor for help in sorting this stuff out. The best way to find a good one, of course, is to ask others who have been in any kind of counseling for a recommendation. Of course, you can always contact a local referral network too. And, you can always call a local hotline for help, also, and that's a 24/7 thing.
It does sound to me like you do have alot of anger going on, especially at your husband, but seem to be turning it inward on yourself, which just results in depression and hopelessness for yourself. And, anger, like all of our other feelings, is not a bad thing at all... when we have it, it has to get expressed, and it surely will, one way or another. The problem with anger is that it is not expressed appropriately alot of the time, and turning it inward on yourself is just as inappropriate as taking someone's head off with it.
Remember to take care of yourself, too, Ruth, while you are so busy taking care of all those other people and their feelings... but, most importantly of all, remember that you cannot continue to take care of others unless you can take care of yourself first.
I will be thinking of you and hoping you will be getting yourself some help before you get too much more down on yourself. Let me know how it goes? :)
Vickie, I don't mean this to be taken the wrong way, but I would like some information. What good is counseling? To me its always felt like I am paying someone money to be my friend. I know that it is money that makes the world go around, but I would hope that love and friendship do exist somewhere (here they do at least) without a dollar sign attached to them. And then after you've paid the money that you could have used for other things (necessities, distractions etc) the counselours give you bad advice any way. The last thing a counselor said to me was that I should rely on my husband more. I took the advice and immediately he got sick again. I'm scared. This feels like a trap. It seems to me that the only thing that a counselor will do for you is to look at you and consider you to be a case in his textbook and give you advice based on whatever mold he feels that you fit in. In my lifetime I have tried to help people and to be a friend to them. To listen and give loving answers even when I didn't agree with them. I've done that with my mother, my husband, people in the neighborhood, people at church. But it's not returned. I know I haven't tried very hard at this new church, but the amount that I have tried hasn't worked out and I get discouraged.
I am thankful for this website. I am thankful for my daughter, for one of the choirs that I am in (I went last night and it was a good distraction), and thankful for some prayers that were answered at times thru the kindness of strangers. For these reasons I don't want to lose my faith. Altho I don't know what is happening to the rest of my world.
I think this is a key clue, Ruth. It has to do with letting people know who you really are and expressing the feelings you really have, in order to achieve some type of real intimacy for yourself in relationships with others as well as with yourself. And, of course, it gets a little more complicated when the expectation is that it is returned. It's really great when it is returned, but, none of us have any control over that. :( Also, when we focus on others and their needs, we can be successful in distracting from ourselves... our feelings, needs, problems. The end result is that this doesn't usually fulfill people and make them feel too happy about their lives.
In regard to finding a good counselor, I think a good one is one who will focus on and be brave enough to tackle the issues that bring the person to him/her. That may not always really be what the person presents with, so some real initiative needs to be taken to, somehow, get to it. Your perception of a counselor as a "friend" is not correct, and, if anyone has told you it is, run. The role of a counselor is not to deal with people's issues in the same manner that people's friends do at all.
Think about it... when we discuss a problem with a friend, they will usually sympathize and take our side, as well as reinforce our perception by giving us their own or others' similar experiences. Just because more than one person has the same experience, though, doesn't mean it's an ok or a normal thing that isn't a problem that might need to be corrected. It just means that several people might have the same kind of problem they need to work on. And, rarely do people get solutions from friends.
I don't know how many counselors you have seen, but I know few who label or categorize people. I don't know how this counselor that you saw behaved, or what his/her training even is, so I cannot comment on that, except to say that if you feel that a counselor is not helping you or is giving you bad advice, the option you have is to find another who will. And there are plenty out there who can and will. But, remember that we are not all alike, just as no two people of any kind are, so be careful about labeling/categorizing counselors. :wink:
I hope getting this information doesn't distract you for too long in seeking and getting some good counseling. Don't forget to check credentials, either... it's always really helpful if someone is specifically educated and trained in counseling, and not in another field, such as theology. There are lots of preachers out there giving many people alot of real bad advice... my ex-husband was one of those.
I can share with you what I did to help myself out of a depression I had some months ago, since I have no therapist here (a method I was taught as well as studied on my own). This may not make a bit of sense to you, but here goes: I loved myself. I loved my feelings. I loved my anger. I loved my depression. I loved my hopelessness. You embrace everything. It's the hardest thing most people can do, because a lot of us see ourselves as unlovable (particularly if you didn't feel loved as a child).
It took lots of practice. I didn't love myself so I thought about how I felt when I loved my dogs (sad, huh, but back then they were all I had) and then projected that loving feeling onto myself (the actual "physical" feeling of love--it takes practice). I've mentioned this book before as a source, Learning to Love Yourself Workbook, by Gay Hendricks. Even though I had been in therapy for years, the life-long low-grade depression did not lift completely until I read and practiced those guidelines (about 15 years ago).
Of course, this will NOT transform actual problems (not your husband's health, not people talking over you, not anything outside of yourself). But it can transform YOU. When you feel better, you cope better with the husband and mother and problems. I work on myself all of the time (well, I do get lazy, but I do the work when I'm in pain!), because I still tend to automatically react to problems in an "unskilled" (O.K., I freak out) manner due to my past scars.
My point is sometimes we have to give ourselves what we are not getting from others, whatever it is. We have to fill *ourselves* up, and, no, it is not selfish. "Do you mean I don't exist to please others? Do you mean I don't have to live up to everyone's expectations of me?" Yes, that's what I mean.
The Buddha said, "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection." I hope what we've said here has helped or you find something that can help you. We're here for you.
As to the "counseling" issue. Ever see the movie, "crocadile dundee"? The part where she's telling him about seeing psychiatrists. He says, "Don't they have any mates?" I love that. I do think we should have support we don't have to pay for! I agree with Wordgirl, as to practicing "right thinking". However, you don't have to pay a counselor to teach this to you. There are some excellent publications out there, including my favorite, the Dali Lama. Another, Thich Nhat Hanh. I wish I had been on this path back then, but it wasn't the time. Perhaps this is what this time of life is for, becoming more introspective. Everything is a lesson, as hard as it is to take the test!
As others said, we are all here for you..
You said, "Rarely do people get solutions from friends." This is not the issue! I am not looking for solutions from friends, I am looking for off the internet, neighborhood friends. Period. Not aquaintences. Friends. Like I've tried to be to others when they've been in need. Like I've spent my time being to others when I could have been spending that time on myself or my daughter. The word is loneliness. I've got the above problems plus loneliness. Is a counselor going to fix that?
Wordgirl, I agree with your advice on the loving ourselves book. I have read similar books and tried to follow the advice with some success for a period of time (sometimes a longer period of success than other times) but it is hard. Society has a myth that everyone will have many meaningful relationships. And there is the "2 shall be as 1" marriage myth. And there is the "you should be of service to others" myth. Too many traps to fall into. But you are right about the idea that I have to give myself what I need that I'm not getting anywhere else.
Thanks SuseyQ. I do remember that part in Crocodile Dundee. I think that people are probably too busy and stressed to have the time for friendship in this day and society. Probably those myths that I mentioned above wouldn't be just myths in a different time or place. I guess I've got to accept reality, but it would be nice if the world was different.
But Vickie, I can't throw away time and money (and hope) on bad counselors merely on the hope that I might find a good one. I actually shouldn't have mentioned counseling in my first post. I'm sorry if that was misleading.
(Edited by HippieHeron at 5:12 pm on Nov. 12, 2002)
You certainly do sound very angry to me, as well as quite defended. I spent a considerable amount of my time and energy in trying to give you a meaningful answer and trying to give you some support, while taking your questions to me as a request for information, as you said they were. And now I do feel attacked. Is this the way you feel when you feel you have done something nice for someone and they haven't appreciated you? Good luck to you on feeling better someday.
I guess I would be bunched together as one of those "counselors" yuk!!! that you have been so frustrated with Ruth. I hope that I never make any of my clients feel like I am just there to smile, nod and give bad advice for 50 minutes so they will pay me.As far as getting paid for a service that one provides it has no bearing on their level of professional & personal committment to their client. As in all areas of life different individuals bring different energies, commitment, values and agendas with them as part of their "baggage". We see it in the cashier at a supermarket, sales associates in the stores we frequent, mechanics, plumbers, etc.....I'm sure you get my point. The complication to this fact is that everyone feels (and I agree) that counselors, physicians, nurses, lawyers, clergy should be above reproach in all areas. In a perfect world that would be the case, but this is not a perfect world so imperfect beings find their way into every profession including "counselors".However not ALL couselors/therapists come from a place of selfishness and greed. I'm sure that when you work you expect to be paid for your services and well you should....so the same with counselors. The fact that some may not be worth yours or anyone elses money is a totally separate matter. I agree with the women who have advised you to use a referral system in searching for a credible, reputable counselor. That is the most effective, prudent way to weed through some not so worthy practitioners. It does sound to me, in really reading between the lines of your postings, that life has become so overwhelmingly sad for you right now that just the thought of researching for a good therapist feels daunting when coupled with all the other struggles you are going through.
I think that SusyQ has posed a vialble suggestion in that your husband's physical symptoms could be directly related to his underlying depression. Perhaps he could discuss this with the physician that is prescribing all the medication he is taking or even better maybe he could get a second opinion.
As far as Vickie's advice through the course of many postings I feel it has been offered with caring/loving thought and to continuely rebuff her commitment to you leads me to sense that perhaps your just too down and angry for message board support to be the best avenue for you right now. It would appear that although nurturing and honoring to you, you need more right now than friendly suggestions. Goodness knows the women on this thread have tried....but it would appear to no avail in spite of their continued efforts so although we can be here to offer you support and all want to continue to do that, as we all care about how you are feeling, it would seem that some advice from your physician would be a good direction to start with. We can do alot here on the Power Surge message boards but we are not therapists...this forum is not designed to diagnose or treat but to be of comfort and support. If you, as you have posted, do not have any friends in your community you sure have them here. My concern is that in your sadness/anger you are turning folks away from you, as was mentioned in an earlier posting, without even being aware that you are doing it. We do try to sheild ourselves from pain in many creative ways...perhaps your way is to let people in only so far. If that is the case its very difficult as a "concerned" person to know what to do to help and yet I sense you are caught in a quagmire.
The fact that you have posted that your husband is physically ill and finding going to work more and more difficult, your daughter is depressed and you are so overwhelmed would indicate perhaps something, very pervasive is going on within your family dynamics and considering family therapy as well as individual therapy for each of you might be advantageous. Just a thought.
I do "Life Coach Counseling" and work with individuals as well as families and I feel that the right therapist could be very helpful to all of you. I hope you find the inner strength/energy to try to find a caring & compassionate professional to work with, as you all deserve the quality of life that the Universe intended for each of us. Please keep posting and let us know how it is going for you and your family......just try to take one day at a time and think sunshine even if for one brief moment each day to start...eventually with the right help and support all your days will be sunny. At least that is my wish for you today and everyday. I send you healing energy and love Ruth. Please be well.
Ladies I commend you on your ongoing "being there" for each other. I am honored to be apart of you.
Blessings and be well.
Chriscarol, I know what you mean. I've contemplated that this illness of his might be depression related too, but at this point I know that he has to make decisions about that, I can't do it for him. I'm going to focus on taking care of myself and my daughter. That is also one of the problems. I always have felt in this relationship that I was the one expected to make all of the decisions, especially if they involved anything emotional. This burden is getting old too.
Thanks again for your replies, Beth and SuseyQ.
Suseyq, I can't speak for anyone else, but I didn't address the "husband" issue because that is pointless, in my opinion. We can't change others. He has seen doctors. Most likely Ruth has expressed her feelings about the situation. He probably knows there is a problem. Also not changeable is whether he will lose his job or not (only he can do this). Therefore, I only addressed what worked for me during depressions, as you can only change yourself (such as helping yourself to release the anger, frustration, etc.). She already knows what her options are with regard to him. He can be supported, of course, but he will ultimately decide what he does or does not do. Maybe he has an undetected medical problem, I don't know. As for friends who take your support and give nothing back, you'll never change them either. The best we can do is change our *outlook* on things.
On the other hand, if Ruth just wanted to vent here and get support, there's nothing wrong with that and it does help. I have *some* of the same problems Ruth has (no friends where we live now AT ALL, as I've so far just met major "takers" only interested in themselves, no family I speak to, and a mother who never has the slightest interest in me) so I think I can understand some, though not all, of the frustration she is going through. We all want to help each other here, because we can usually relate to each other's pain.
The great thing (about posting) is you get to hear everyone's opinion and you just might hear something that will work for you. Take what you want, ignore the rest. I know everyone meant well. I responded because Ruth is such a loving, caring person, which is evident from her posts.
(Edited by Wordgirl at 4:15 pm on Nov. 13, 2002)
Thanks for such a simple, forthright suggestion to get us back on track.
Blessings and be well.
<< Vickie, I don't mean this to be taken the wrong way, but I would like some information. What good is counseling? >>
I feel pretty set up and baited by this statement from you, Ruth, because, as it turns out, it was used to elicit a response from me that was turned against me in a most abusive and hurtful way, especially considering the fact that I am, by profession, a marriage/family and child counselor, a fact pretty well known by many women here at PS. Ruth, I sincerely do hope that you will be able to sort through all of your issues, and your intense anger will soon subside.
<< We can do alot here on the Power Surge message boards but we are not therapists...this forum is not designed to diagnose or treat but to be of comfort and support. >>
Irene, I think this is an excellent and insightful statement you have made here. :) Though I am, indeed, a therapist, I am all too aware of the fact that diagnoses and treatment are impossible and totally inappropriate in this type of forum, as you also suggest. For that, as well as a host of other reasons, I pretty much usually totally refrain from doing so here. I feel like I went way past my own comfort zone to even go as far as I did in responding to that request for information about counseling and counselors, but chose to take the question as presented, to be just a request for information, not to be taken "the wrong way". Thank you, Irene.
What I wanted to say is I don't think that a topic like that would work. Invariably, someone would come along who would want to comment...and she would. Then the original poster wouldn't feel safe posting in that way anymore.
Also, the whole point of message boards is to get the support and opinions of many people. When I'm down, hurt, depressed, angry (most of the time! LOL) I often write an email to the person(s), if any.
I spend quite a lot of time on this email, getting the wording right, rearranging the paragraphs (that's why computers are better than paper), getting it absolutely perfect. It works out some of my frustrations, but I never send it. Sometimes, I'll delete it, but usually, I'll save for the next time - because I know that there's always going to be a next time, unfortunately.
This solution is probably a pretty lame one, but it works for me.
I'd like to offer hugs and support to anyone who felt hurt and/or misunderstood in this thread. Online can be a very tricky thing sometimes. But it's the best we have for now
Be back after my mailings - try to remember we're all sisters and in this together and that we're all different and have different viewpoints.
And, Ruth, know that we all love you and everyone seems to be trying very hard to help you in whatever way they can with whatever means they have. That's all we can do here anyway - is to share.
Be back soon to write my response.
Dearest
A recent Texas A&M study had college students write for 20 minutes (about a tramatic or an unemotional topic) and then e-mail them to researchers. Their subsequent health surveys found that people who shared their problems were sick less often and missed fewer classes than the people who explored neutral subjects. It also said that unbeknownst to the writers, though, no one ever even read their emails. So this worked even with no feedback. In fact, it advises us to achieve these benefits by writing and then hit the delete button!
Anyway, I hope the one misunderstanding here doesn't turn anyone off to venting their feelings. If they truly don't want feedback, they might try the technique above.
Menopause is unkind. It hasn't a sense of decency to it whatsoever. It afflicts every woman regardless of her lot in life. It's merciless, thoughtless, and a constant challenge.
Ruth, your messages convey what you think is causing your depression. From what I've read, it appears to me that the depression is the result of a combination of issues. You're overwhelmed. By your husband's health situation. By how it's affecting your relationship. By how it's affecting his health. By the impact it's having on everything. By the potential impact it could have on his work. By how that might affect your economic situation. You're overwhelmed by your children, wonderful as they may be. When one is depressed and under stress, everything is overwhelming. There's the additional stress of home schooling, the tedium of cleaning, the general "not-having-a-moment-to-breathe" syndrome.
How could all this NOT emotionally wear down even the strongest person?
How could it NOT make anyone angry, depressed, frustrated, overwhelmed and, sometimes, ready to throw in the towel?
Nothing you've expressed could have anyone reading it think for a single moment that you weren't totally justified in feeling as you do.
As for counselling, aka therapy and therapists, I agree and disagree. I think at times in our lives we may be receptive to therapy. At other times, we may not. I think when we've found a good therapist, we're proponents of therapy. When we've had bad experiences with therapists, we think therapy's a waste of time, too costly and, as you said, the monies spent could be enjoyed elsewhere - then again, how can you enjoy spending the money elsewhere if you never resolve the problems that are causing the depression, the anger, the frustration -- if you don't get your life in order. You can't.
I've had similar experiences with therapists as you, and others on this board, have. Remember how sick I was earlier this year and how it's lasted for months? I'm still not myself (and this is not to turn the conversation around to myself - I'm trying to make an important point using myself as an example). I became so overwhelmed by that experience and by reliving an experience of 15 years ago when I was told by doctors, oncologists, everyone -- that I was dying of liver cancer (which, obviously I wasn't). After the worst part of this year's illness passed, my anxiety levels soared, and I already had enough anxiety for two people. In the past, my experiences with therapists have been nightmares. I felt just as you did. I wouldn't waste a dime on one of them. . . until I realized I had to get myself and my anxiety in order, and get to the underlying reasons for what I was feeling because it wasn't simply from being sick. I knew I had to find someone objective to talk to. Not to a friend. Not to a family member. Not to friends I have online. I had to come face to face with my demons -- with everything in the past that had brought me to this present. So, I began a journey through about 5-6 therapists including psychiatrists who only wanted to prescribe medication and not "talk" to me. Less than two months ago, I found a woman with whom I can relate on so many levels, someone who listens, someone who talks, someone who has even had some of the horrible experiences I have and who has shared them with me. Someone who cares and someone who has helped me more than any other therapist I have ever tried. Someone who was "worth" it.
Because I have found the "right person," I have a renewed faith in therapy.
Friends you have in the real world, online, or anywhere don't have the expertise a good therapist has. Friends may have the best intentions in the world, may be the most decent human beings you know, may hold your hand in your moments of crisis, may offer advice on how to cope with your problems, BUT when you're suffering from problems that are adversely affecting your entire quality of life, that are so overwhelming that you don't know which way to turn, you need someone professional who knows how to draw out the venom from the snake bites.
Ruth, you always come across as a fine and decent woman. Look at all the people here who are concerned about you -- oh, you may think they're just "online" people, but they're still "people" -- there are real human beings behind the monitors and keyboards - people who've experienced their own sufferings.
I think, despite how far we've come in the area of mental health, there's still a stigma attached to "going to a therapist." There shouldn't be. We take vitamins to make our bodies healthy. We take insulin if we have diabetes. We use various products to treat our physical menopause symptoms.
Our psyches, emotions and spirits are as impacted by menopause as is our physical person -- and it's imperative that we treat our minds with the same care and respect we do our bodies.
Whatever you decide to do regarding your situation, it's clearly your decision. However, those who have suggested counselling are well aware of the benefits you can derive from some form of professional communication.
You may choose to wait it out and see if this "worst" time passes, but the depression is likely to continue to gnaw at you, at your spirit and your soul until you resolve the issues that are causing it.
I hope and pray that whatever path you decide to take, that you will get better.
Now -- I have to go from this to preparing for a chat about vaginas. Isn't life silly? :biggrin:
Warm hugs to you, Ruth.
Dearest
Thank goodness they were all wrong!
I'm glad that you've found a good therapist, too, one that you can work with. That must be such a wonderful thing, to be able to discuss whatever with someone so understanding and helpful.
As one of those who has never had much luck with counselors - sometimes my own fault, because I'd refuse to talk! - in many ways I envy you this experience. I suspect that I'm going to take whatever mental baggage I have with me to the grave - and just pray that I haven't passed it on to the next generation.
My blood boils, too, when I think of what you went through before your Cushings was diagnosed -- with doctors giving you tranquilizers, being told "this, too, shall pass" and nobody knowing you had a brain tumor or Cushings until you took matters into your own hands and went to NIH. Just keep telling yourself, Mary, that you can do anything you set your mind to. I, as a friend, know that you can.
Incidentally, my therapist is out of my HMO's network, but is so far superior to anyone I saw in network that I'm willing to foot the bill myself - I pay over $4,000.00 a year for my own health coverage and am entitled to a certain amount of annual therapy visits, but they won't cover her because she doesn't accept HIP and at her age (she's semi-retired) doesn't want to become involved with them.
Incidentally, your suggestion above wasn't lame at all. I do it all the time. I've got more E.mails I've never sent, more letters I've never mailed, but managed to work through many feelings of frustration and anger by writing them down.
Dearest
I'm not here to take sides, but I did mention in my original message that it was apparent that many people were trying to help Ruth with her depression. I found nothing offensive in Vickie's messages. In fact, as usual, Vickie went above and beyond the call of duty in trying to help someone in distress and help Ruth address her issues. I don't prefer to comment on Ruth's reaction and then Vickie's response -- yada, yada. I would hope by now that everyone on these boards knows that Vickie (Kalanie) always comes from a "good place" and the information she provided in this thread was not only caring and with concern, but more importantly, from someone with expertise in the area of therapy.
I don't like to see arguing among members. That's not what we're here for. We're here to help one another. From what I see from reading all the responses to Ruth's cries for help, everyone did just that.
Dearest
A few years ago, when I was in similar, but worse situations, I attended a discussion group on a book called "You can Heal Your Life" Part of that book discussed the problem of all of the Shoulds that we are bombarded with in life. "You should do this, you should do that etc" and we tend to repeat them back to ourselves, like all that we have ever heard keeps re-echoing in our minds, especially when we are stressed. That's what I heard here: "You should go to counseling, you should find a friend to help so you forget about your problems". My major problem is stress, because of lack of time to do the things I want to do: Homeschool my daughter, make a more pleasant home for myself and her, pursue a couple of interests of my own. I don't have time for counseling, or for debating about it. I also don't have time for feeling guilty about "Shoulds". "Shoulds" that others tell me or "Shoulds" that I remember and tell myself. So thank you for helping me to see that. Now I'm going to go and do what I want to do.
I am glad that you are feeling better, Dearest. That is good news.
(Edited by HippieHeron at 12:02 pm on Nov. 15, 2002)
I hope that you feel better soon, doing what *you* want to do,
Sometimes we feel so much pressure that we interpret what other people say as "shoulds" and just more pressure, perhaps?
Every time I read of Dearest's health problems, I am shocked all over again (particularly the misdiagnosis). You must have incredible strength, Dearest. It's almost unimaginable to me how you coped. But, thank God you did, or a lot of us would be doing a lot worse than we are now.
Ruth, I don't know if you're aware of it because I've never seen you this way, but while you are reaching out to people, you are closing out those people at the same time. If you look through my very long response, I don't use the word "should" even once. In fact, the only time any form of the word appears in my post, it is "shouldn't" not "should" -- as in "I think, despite how far we've come in the area of mental health, there's still a stigma attached to "going to a therapist. There shouldn't be."
Thank you, Ruth, for your good wishes re my health. I do hope you feel better, too.
Dearest