&nbsp; &nbsp; I've been told by a therapist that he thought my<br>depression was anger turned inwards. &nbsp;It seems<br>in the sensitivity of &nbsp;perimenopause, all my demons<br>have come out to dance. &nbsp;Unbearable sadness,<br>anxieties, and now rage. &nbsp;Somehow I feel the<br>depression lifting, as the rage surfaces. &nbsp;I have<br>made a jerk out of myself, during some of these<br>hormonal rampages. &nbsp;I always apologize, but it's<br>humiliating. &nbsp;God, I don't want to grow old and<br>bitter. &nbsp;The anger is almost as frightening, as the<br>familiarity of my menancing melancholy. &nbsp;The<br>crap sure does hit the fan during these years, huh???

ChrisCarol-  I so respect your honesty.

Just something I noticed about myself............

I was unhappily married for many, many years, and almost all of my hormonal symptoms came out in rage.  I too humiliated myself in those rages-   I was awful.  I mean AWFUL.  

Now I am divorced and I rarely rage.  Actually, now that I really think about it, I don't think I have raged once in the 2 and a half years since my marriage ended.

My point is that I think my unhappiness was turning my hormonal symptoms into rage.   Rage is how it manifested.

I'm not saying your unhappily married, but what is going on in your life that your stuffing down, so when the hormonal changes come they  come in anger????  I think you must have something to rage about, and that's why you rage.

What do you think?

Leanne,<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; Although divorce isn't imminent, I certainly have<br>&quot;issues,&quot; in my marriage. &nbsp;I also feel I've supported<br>certain extended family members, only to be insulted<br>when I expressed my vulnerability.<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; I''m feeling better!! &nbsp;Thanks for the support.<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Chris

Anytime.........

oh this sounds all too familiar.

Chirs and Carole-

Don't you think that our emotions are truly revealed (okay, maybe a bit overboard, but revealed none the same)  during meno??

I have a girlfriend who doesn't rage, but she's in tears all the time, and I mean ALL THE TIME.  She also has had a really sad life (parents died young....)

I think women who rage probably have a lot to rage about, women who cry have a lot to cry about, women who get anxiety have a lot of stress.....

It just all gets magnified a hundred times during this meno process.

Well I have done my share of raging and crying.  Just when I think that I am over it----wham!!!!   It all comes back again.  I know that this is the process for most women in meno----but, I do get quite discouraged over this sometimes.

HugsBeryl

Talk about raging and crying. I was watching the Oprah show on TV to cheer myself up today. The show was about body make-overs. I found myself crying big-time and thinking how much I've always hated being small-breasted, having a big nose that is only getting uglier as I age...and so on. When my hubby came home, I was in a foul mood and raging about wanting to withdraw my money from a CD account so that I could have the plastic surgery I've always wanted. The breast issue was compounded by breast cancer surgery 2 years ago--a lumpectomy--and having about a quarter of my breast tissue on the right removed.  My hubby thinks I look fine (although he is not a EYE-man, that is, looks don't turn him on, and he has let his own looks go to pot), but I think I look like a greamlin. Sigh. Has anyone out there had breast augmentation at midlife and felt happier as a result?

&nbsp; &nbsp; I've always been small busted, but wouldn't<br>consider breast augmentation. &nbsp;Luckily, I'm slender.<br>The idea of mutilating myself for some ideal bothers<br>me. &nbsp;Also, some busty women can look matronly<br>in middle age. Being small bothered me more in<br>my youth. &nbsp;Aging isn't easy!! &nbsp;Figure flaws can be<br>masked with the right undergarments and styles.<br>Plastic surgery may be right for some, but I'll<br>keep slopping on the sunblock and Retin A, &nbsp;which<br>I started doing at 28. &nbsp;Okay, I'm &nbsp;vain. &nbsp;Part of me<br>fears, since going off the estrogen, I'll shrivel like<br>crepe paper. &nbsp;My husband acts like I turn him on,<br>then again he's 12 years older.lol

&nbsp; &nbsp; Also, some face lifts just look rather creepy.

Shadow,<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; Also remember that depression has a tendency<br>to wreak havoc on our self-esteem. &nbsp;I love the Nin<br>quote. &nbsp;Have you read her diaries? &nbsp;I read them<br>decades ago. &nbsp;She led an interesting life and is a<br>wonderful writer.

Boy Chris- we seem to have a lot in common!

I have used Retin A since I was 30!  

Shasow- I would not have surgery to enlarge my breasts.  I agree with Chris that I was way more concerned about my B cups when I was in my 20's.  Now at 43, I can still pass the pencil test!  My breasts aren't as perky as they used to me, but I'm fine with them.

If you want to do this to reconstruct the breast, I don't think you need to go to a full augmentation to do that.  

Also in reading your post, it sounds like you might have been just having a bad day, and some of those nasty hormones might have been rearing their ugly heads!

You can change whatever you want on the outside, but it doesn't fix the problems that one usually has- those are on the inside.

Good Luck!