Yesterday i ran my youngest son to the store,i sat in the car while he went in.I sat and watched all the people going in and out of the store,most looked happy,were smiling,joking,playing around,etc.and it made me feel so depressed,as if i'm on the outside of this world looking in,like i'm not really a part of it,like it's a big merry-go-round that i wanna jump on,but i don't know how and can't because it's going too fast.Do any of you ever feel like this?I even feel like this sometimes with my hubby and kids,it's not a good feeling and it's depressing.

(((Jade))), I think that a lot of us can relate to how you're feeling right now. I know I can. I hope you're feeling better soon!

Hey jadebear, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I had a day like this last week, when my daughter wanted to go to the mall. There were all these people happily going from store to store, chatting it up, and I felt like a total zombie, nauseous and spacey and with that constant belly-urge to cry. I just wanted to run back home and be alone. The store displays had all these new Spring/Easter clothes out, and I could have cared less. In the past, I'd get this little rush of anticipation, and would love looking at things, thinking about the new season ahead. The degree to which I felt detached from all this was a little scarey. Yet the past couple of days, I've had a few moments of looking outside and noticing there's a little more lawn than there was a week ago, and I'm hearing new birds in the morning. These "natural" things seem to be able to touch something inside in ways that the social stuff just can't. Glad to know I'm not the only one struggling this way. Hang in, sister...

I know just what you mean Jadebear - especially when I was always the one running the rollercoaster. Now I am a little afraid to get on - but usually if I go ahead and jump on it is still fun - I just have to get past the fear and the cry urge! We will survive this and thrive when its over - I just know it!!!!

Thanks for replying...it really helps me when i realize other people go through the same things.Sometimes i feel silly posting how i'm "feeling" or what i'm "thinking",but then i always feel sooooo much better after reading the replies. And even though we're getting 3-5 inches of snow today,i heard the birds when i woke up and it made me feel alot better!

Hey Jade, I have times when I look around me at women my age that act HAPPY as clams at high tide! And I have to wonder ARE they REALLY happy or are they feeling JUST like me and putting on a good act which I do so often? I think I tend to feel sorry for myself lots of times because I feel so lousy and have to step back and realize that there are SO many people out there MUCH worse off than I am. People with terminal illness, debilitating diseases, etc. Then it makes me realize that maybe this isn't as bad as what I think it is. DID that make any sense at all???? Hang in there girl!! Huggers, Kleeo

Kleeo You took the words right out of my mouth. For some reason I always think I am the only one living this nightmare because everyone else appears so "normal". But so many of my friends and family tell me I seem so perky they didn't even know I was having problems. Yet inside I feel like a mess. I guess we never really know what others are going through. I guess it should make us all a lot more understanding of others. ;)Boone

Well Boone my friend, as LONG as we look good on the outside to other people, and we KNOW we have each other here in Power Surge to 'whine' to and get our support, then we should be okay. HUGGERS! Kleeo