Please reassure me that I WILL get through this and be ok..........today is one of those days where i am so sick of all of this and i want the old me back.I am so sick of all these peri symptoms and just wish to God i could have more than one "normal" day a week.If it's not one problem,it's another...............how can a "natural" aging process feel so unnatural and so abnormal?How have women through history gone through this without being committed to a mental hospital or without causing harm to themselves or their loved ones?Who cursed us in this way?

Oh Jadebear, I'm having one of those days, as well. I keep having uterine twinges, so hope I'll bleed soon, then be released. I'm sick of suffering. I feel both mentally ill and mentally retarded today. Panic and depression. Hang in there, I'll hold on, as well, but this can be a living hell.

I can't stop crying. I went out, it was torture. I likely shouldn't be driving, but my daughter asked for a favor. Where did I go?????? I need to bleed!!!!!

Jadebear and Chriscarol It's easier for me to say this now since today is not a bad day for me (so far!) but I am told by those who have seen the other side of this that it DOES GET BETTER! Hang in there and remember those times that you were feeling okay! Be well! EJ

Thanks ej.....i just hope you're right and it does get better.But does it ever get "completely" better,or does it just get "bearable"? chriscarol,I hope you start feeling better soon.....maybe tomorrow will be a more tolerable day for you.

I know exactly what you mean when you say I wonder if this will ever end. I think that the process is a sometimes slow one. I know if I have 2 good days out of the week that I feel half way decent I get my hopes up that maybe this perimenopause thing is getting better. I know it doesn't get better over night. I have read that it takes time to get though it. The thing is that I sometimes run out of patience waiting on symptom's to end. But I know my Mom got though it and I know that I will to . I know we all will, and the thing is I feel our lives will be richer for it somehow. Good luck to all.

Oh girls, it's horrible, isn't it! I feel JUST like you, Chriscarol......JUST LET ME BLEED! My period is due and I feel MISERABLE, and it's almost like if I would JUST start, I will feel better!! Jade, hang in there girlfriend. I hear you loud and clear, and know exactly what you are going through. I miss the OLD me so much, and it seems so unfair that aging has to be so brutal. They say we WILL get past this. We have to believe it! HUGGERS! Kleeo

chriscarol and Kleeo, Something that always helps me start is having sex...............it just always seems to get the flow going.

Well that sounds like one of the best cures that I've heard in a long time, Jade! *giggle!* Thanks for the tip! HUGGERS! Kleeo

I keep reading that you all want to bleed. I was having a normal life until I was 49 (July 2002) -- I had a "hemorrage" (or so it felt -- went through 48 tampons in 48 hours!), then haven't bled since. I thought the bleeding part of it was all over........ am I suppose to be waiting for that -- will a good blood letting bring back the old me!?!?!??!?!?! Maybe they had something going on in the Middle Ages...... Excuse me if I ask dumb questions.. I'm new to all of this -- thought I could do it "All on my own" without talking about it............

This is my first post to this board.....Hi all! I'm sitting here crying and laughing at the same time, boy can I relate to this - IF I COULD JUST BLEED I'd feel soooo much better. This is the first month I've skipped a period - flippin' FREAKED me out so much I did a pregnancy test (negative). It seems like I was fine three months ago - had a normal period then two weeks later in March had another one that lasted 8 days (fairly heavy and long for me). Four weeks later had another one in early April (normal) and haven't had one since. I went from feeling fine to being totally exhausted, nauseous all the time, achey, crampy, shakey & weak (today) and moody. Can it happen that fast? One minute you are fine and then you miss one lousy period and all hell breaks loose? Help! BTW - I'm 49.

Christina - there are tons of us in the same boat: happy, strong, healthy women who seemingly overnight get socked in the teeth with this experience. :mad: Welcome to the club - on the upside, you'll get to share with lots of people in the same icky boat. Think many of us feel like a truck hit us - one we didn't even know was there. But there are lots of ideas on these boards, as well a great support. We're with you, honey, Otter

Thanks Otter. I was NOT expecting this so fast. I thought it would come on gradually - maybe it has and I haven't noticed. Really no symptoms up until now except a few irregular periods and two years ago all of a sudden I developed allergies out of nowwhere. Come to think of it too, I started having alot more UTI's about 3 years ago. It's like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" for cryin' out loud! I'm so encouraged by this board though.

You're welcome, Christina: I, too, was just thinking my periods would just dwindle away and that I might have a flash or two, but I'd continue to be superwoman (I'll be 55 next month). Definitely not ready for a major life change - body, brain, emotions all gone haywire. Reading other meno-sisters posts, though, explains a few weird, nonworrisome things in the past, like the inexplicable rash that came and went for no reason. Like your "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", I feel like the old me died and the new one is a total stranger. Durn, I LIKED the old one so well. Otter

Otter - I want her (old me) back!!!! Cramping like crazy today - oy vay..........

Oh boy--I can relate to this. I couldn't put it better myself Otter. (((((hugs)))))

I've been mourning the old me today, while feeling resentment that new me is a cantankerous, sobbing, panciked witch. I sure hope tomorrow is calm These heavy duty panic attacts are exhausting. I'm falling into the sweet escape of slumber, praying tomorrow will be an easier day. This day was uselesss!!!!!!

chriscarol,i really feel for you.......and i can relate.....I had a day full of anxiety and had to fight the panic.........i almost did lose it while driving to the store,i felt so panicky i couldn't see straight. I miss the old me...........i didn't realize how much until i had a house full of relatives today,ones i haven't seen in years,and instead of having fun and feeling relaxed like in years past,i was shaking and fighting a panic attack the whole time.......people i haven't seen in a long time and had alot to catch up on and all i did was think about myself the whole time and couldn't wait for them to leave..........i hate this!!I hated myself for being like this!! I hope you have a better day tomorrow!!and i hope i do too.

Jadebear, I hope it gets better soon for you, as well. I know longer have many guests, as I perimenopausal anxiety exaggerates every stupid little thing. Any little change in my environment and the anxiety kicks in. Then I get terrified I've just lost it. That I'll be this way forever. Last night my husband told me I don't deserve this. None of us do!!!!!! Who would of thunk it. This s*cks, succintly.

WE have to ride out these miserable days. The only real solution that I have found. Dang, and you have to get insomnia, while feeling like a basketcase. I resent with this has done to me. "Wisdom of Menopause," Yeah right. All I can say is I'll likely be so grateful when this dang adrenaline drip stops. I'm cranky. Chronic anxiety will do that to a woman. Plus, sad!!!!!! Well, keep on keeping on.

Today is a pretty good day........no anxiety,just exhaustion...........this is a wild rollercoaster ride with all the ups and downs and twists and turns.........it actually amazes me how one day can be so totally different from the next with no pattern to it.......if there was a pattern,i could put my life on hold for the bad days and plan everything else on the ok days.

Yeah, the premenstrual pattern goes haywire in peri. I haven't been very productive through this. I get very few good days. Right before my period is the pits. I must summons up the hope that this is truly temperory. I don't have to be the old me!!!! Just let my afflictions ease enough so I can focus. I may try biofeedback. Anyone know about this??? Acupuncture did squat for anxiety. Well, jade, more good days to you.

jadebear, yes, everything does go haywire and I just keep reminding myself that it's temporary and will get better - one day. I like your plan/suggestion to "put my life on hold for the bad days and plan everything else on the ok days." Sounds good to me and very effective. Bad days I just do what I can and focus on what I can do, then good days I smile, say thank you to the powers that be, then do what I can and focus on what I can do. Everything else will have to wait. I think when this part of the transition is over I want a t-shirt that says "I survived". How about you? So nice to have company along the way. All the best and have a good day. nj

newjourneys, a t-shirt??LOL.....i think my hubby and kids would deserve the t-shirt more than me.(that's IF they survive it,lol)

Hey nj: How about ones that say "I'm just going through a phase"? Otter

If we'd lived in the Middle Ages we would have been permanently pregnant and would have loads of kids -if they'd survived. We wouldn't have had so many monthly periods either. Chilbearing was probably so barbaric that if we'd lived to the grand old age of 50, we'd probably have been glad of the menopause. Anyway we'd probably have been so spaced out on hallucinogenic wheatbread that we probably wouldn't have been aware of it anyway:o

Alice3, "hallucinogenic wheatbread", I haven't heard of that.

There's a theory that the young girls who effectively started the Salem witch trial escapades, were actually experiencing hallucinogenic symptoms of grain poisoning (don't remember if it was wheat, tho'). They "believed" some of their neighbors were witches and demons, etc. Maybe someone on the board knows a little more about this? I read it somewhere in college. For those struggling with fears of never really being well again, I want to share a quote that helps me when I'm struggling with those concerns. It comes from Dr. David Burns' CBT book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy." "No matter how terrible your depression and anxiety may feel, the prognosis for recovery is excellent. You may be convinced that your own case is so bad, so overwhelming and hopeless, that you are the one person who will never get well, no matter what. But sooner or later, the clouds have a way of blowing away and the sky suddenly clears and the sun begins to shine again. When this happens, the feelings of relief and joy can be overwhelming. This transformation can occur, no matter how discouraged or depressed you may feel." Dr. Burns' book is very good - he's extremely knowledgeable about medication, and goes into great detail about various anti-depressants, etc. His approaches for dealing with negative thoughts are helping me - I've always been a bit of a "drama queen," and I've learned some techniques for challenging my tendency to make a big goshdarn deal out of everything. I recommend this book!

I haven't heard of it in the wheat, but I have read about it in rye. I had the David Burns book like 20 years ago? Does that sound possible? Anyway, I go back to it from time to time and just read what I highlighted all of those years ago. I have a bunch that comfort me, probably my favorite being the ancient Compassion and Self-Hate by the psychiatrist Theodore Issac Rubin (which I've mentioned probably too many times before). Books (all kinds, not just self-help) are definitely my best friends. I was so depressed when I got Lasik on one eye first instead of both at the same time and I couldn't read for a week

i wish i had the same relief with my period that you all seem to have. usually , my symptoms get worse with my period. headaches , anxiety , fatigue , irritable and weepiness. i used to get headaches about 2 days before my period and it would last for 3 days , but this month my symptoms are hitting me 1-2 weeks before my period and lasting thru it and nothing is as it was the past year. i hate that my whole life revolves around this rollercoaster! and it depresses me to think that we cant know when this will be over! if we only had a definite timeline , do you think we would be better able to deal with this?not knowing is very difficult for me. i dont know anything anymore and i have a hard time with that.i never realized how much control i had over everything in my life until this all happened. and yes , it happened OVERNIGHT with me too. i went to bed one night , perfectly happy and content , and WHAM! i woke up in a state of panic , went to the ER , was sent home , told i had a panic attack , sent to counselor , have never seen the ' old me' since. panic , anxiety , insomnia , FEAR , my whole life revolves around trying to feel better and getting thru each day. im sick of it and want it to go away!!!!

oh yeah , by the way , does anyone else have small children to raise and a job while going thru this? i have a 3 year old and a 7 year old , both boys , im only 42 but i dont have the energy i used to anymore. i have 7 kids 5 are grown and i thank God they arent at home too! i dont know how i did it before. i feel so much guilt sometimes when i have my bad days and im a sucky mom. makes me cry.

Hi Sudio! I was whining about the same thing on another post. I'm 43, work full-time and have two small kids, 5 & 7. I also watch out for my dad who is a stroke survivor. I feel like a sucky mom and wife. I feel terrible for me and how bad I feel, but worse for my family for having to put up with me. :mad:

Yes it could have been rye. I was watching a programme a while ago about the middle ages and the bread would go off , giving the symptoms. Sorry, my memory has gone. If I didn't have my name on my drivers licence i'd never find my way home. Anyway Moms, it's not just small kids that depend on you. The big ones do too, even if they've left home. I had a disagreement with mine and because I felt so hurt thought I'd put some space between us until feelings were not running so high. Anyway offspring vented again last night telling me "What sort of Mother are you" and put everything back to square 1. Mum's apparently are not allowed their own space to retreat to when they don't want to fight and have to cope with these awful meno feelings of their own.