Full Version: What Were You Like Before Menopause Started?
Simba - I have often wondered that myself - how so many women (famous or not famous) get thru this difficult time without ever flinching. I have always been what my doctor terms "a warrior woman". Always on the go, work full-time, exercise, totally enjoying life, my kids, work, etc. and then WHAM. I sometimes wonder if it is because I am not in control now. I have had numerous surgeries and heartaches and always picked up and moved on. However, this has really thrown me for a loop. I have "resorted" to HRT to be able to get my quality of life back and hope I don't regret it in the future as I have too damn much to do yet!!! Best of luck to you.
Springsjean and fellow surgers, it is so hard but we must try to hold on to what we were like before all these hormonal changes kicked in. I sometimes think it is so hard because its like Nature has finished with you once you cant reproduce anymore, which is absolutely unfair. Who can blame us for trying anything that can offer a solution? When I couldn't conceive, I looked for a solution and was lucky enough to have my lovely son. All of this gets to you when you feel you have lost your sense of control and wellbeing. Good luck with the H.R.T. I have just packed up on a continuous combined patch because the progestogen made me feel awful so now the sweats are building up again. Maybe something else will work. Simba 2.
Wow what an awsome place to vent. here is my story like most others, overnight!!! ha and I knew I was talking "diff." to my husband but somehow it seemed to be HIM not me at all. ha ha So time has gone by and guess what i think its me. ha ha I too only use to think of others and love to go all the time, keep my weight off, then low and behold NONE of that happens anymore. I had the palpitations, had all the blood work and all came back good except i was diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolaspe (MVP) I am currently taking Toprol, it has helped so much. but the aches and pains of meno are creeping up on me i assume. I am 46 and never went to dr. except for typical female things. You name it least yr I had it and i have so many meno. symptoms. i have an appt. with my gyno in a month hopefully i can get things back in order. and my biggest thing to deal with is my weight and not feeling like myself. well thanks everyone for listening. I will be back and post again, this site is awsome.
Wow, I am amazed at how many of these posts could have been written by me! I am 43 and for the past few years I thought I must be going mad. I have been to the doctors with headaches, palpations, aches and pains etc that they simply had no explanation for. My periods have been irregular for the longest time but I kept getting told I was too young for it to be menopause related. My moods are terrible. I think my husband and kids think I'm an alien at times. I used to be happy, quietly confident, thin, able to concentrate and now all I want to do is cry, I've put on weight that I don't know how to get off, my concentration levels are so bad, I never know when my next period is going to appear and when it does it is heavy and I lose clots. I don't think I have ever felt so alone in my life as I do now.
QUOTE (SallyannW @ Mar 26 2007, 09:07 AM) 
Wow, I am amazed at how many of these posts could have been written by me! I am 43 and for the past few years I thought I must be going mad. I have been to the doctors with headaches, palpations, aches and pains etc that they simply had no explanation for. My periods have been irregular for the longest time but I kept getting told I was too young for it to be menopause related. My moods are terrible. I think my husband and kids think I'm an alien at times. I used to be happy, quietly confident, thin, able to concentrate and now all I want to do is cry, I've put on weight that I don't know how to get off, my concentration levels are so bad, I never know when my next period is going to appear and when it does it is heavy and I lose clots. I don't think I have ever felt so alone in my life as I do now.
I know what you are going through. When I was your age, my Dr told me I was not pre-menopause. I went to another and he gave me a shot of progestrone and I felt better within minutes. This is not in your mind, it is real. All test are not correct. We now what our bodies are telling us. This is just the beginning. Listen to your body and don't let dr. tell you otherwise.
Hi,
I am new to this sight. I've been reading alot of messages and I am hoping that I am in perimenopause instead of dying from some dreaded disease. I have had my period for over 2 weeks. I am 47 and it has never done this. I do have night sweats. Period used to be regular but over the last year noticed that it was getting shorter...little did I know I was gearing up for the record run! Frankly this has me scared. I do have an appointment with a Dr. the end of this week. Can somebody give me some encouragement to at least hold me to the earth until I find out otherwise? Has anybody else experienced this? It seems to stupid to ask if being abnormal is normal.........
I am new to this sight. I've been reading alot of messages and I am hoping that I am in perimenopause instead of dying from some dreaded disease. I have had my period for over 2 weeks. I am 47 and it has never done this. I do have night sweats. Period used to be regular but over the last year noticed that it was getting shorter...little did I know I was gearing up for the record run! Frankly this has me scared. I do have an appointment with a Dr. the end of this week. Can somebody give me some encouragement to at least hold me to the earth until I find out otherwise? Has anybody else experienced this? It seems to stupid to ask if being abnormal is normal.........
QUOTE (toknow4us @ Mar 28 2007, 06:17 PM)
I know what you are going through. When I was your age, my Dr told me I was not pre-menopause. I went to another and he gave me a shot of progestrone and I felt better within minutes. This is not in your mind, it is real. All test are not correct. We now what our bodies are telling us. This is just the beginning. Listen to your body and don't let dr. tell you otherwise.
Well at least I do have an answer now as recent blood tests show I am perimenopausal but I feel I've lost 3 years of my life.
QUOTE (gigs @ Mar 28 2007, 10:14 PM)
Hi,
I am new to this sight. I've been reading alot of messages and I am hoping that I am in perimenopause instead of dying from some dreaded disease. I have had my period for over 2 weeks. I am 47 and it has never done this. I do have night sweats. Period used to be regular but over the last year noticed that it was getting shorter...little did I know I was gearing up for the record run! Frankly this has me scared. I do have an appointment with a Dr. the end of this week. Can somebody give me some encouragement to at least hold me to the earth until I find out otherwise? Has anybody else experienced this? It seems to stupid to ask if being abnormal is normal.........
I am new to this sight. I've been reading alot of messages and I am hoping that I am in perimenopause instead of dying from some dreaded disease. I have had my period for over 2 weeks. I am 47 and it has never done this. I do have night sweats. Period used to be regular but over the last year noticed that it was getting shorter...little did I know I was gearing up for the record run! Frankly this has me scared. I do have an appointment with a Dr. the end of this week. Can somebody give me some encouragement to at least hold me to the earth until I find out otherwise? Has anybody else experienced this? It seems to stupid to ask if being abnormal is normal.........
My periods have been two weeks long for about 2/3 years now and in that I haven't been regular either. I am now three weeks into this period after being 4 weeks late. I have just been diagnosed as being perimenopausal. You are doing the right thing getting this checked but try not to worry about it. I know it is not easy though as I have thought I had some terrible disease over the last few years too. Let us know what your doctor days.
Add me to the ranks of women who feel amazed at reading all these posts and identifying with almost every single peri-issue! I have also been to doctor after doctor who have told me everything from : it's nothing we can identify to everything else under the sun but they were not sure....sigh.... 
I just can't believe that so many of us suffer from the same things and that when you go to a doctor most of them can't diagnose correctly- at least not in my neck of the woods...er..ocean....what I have begun to do is trust other women- listen to their stories and compare them to mine even though we are all different there are so many similarities with this menojunks that I have found more help and relief just from listening to all of "you" and trying the different things that other sisters have tried....I can honestly say that I have never gotten any relief from anything I was told or prescribed by a doctor- but then again ...we don't have many doctors here...before this perijunks started I was...so full of energy, I could work from early morning to late at night with hardly a problem- I was mostly cheerful, I could handle several fairly stressful tasks at the same time and bounce back pretty quick from "over-doing" it and being tired....I could literally go,go,go! NOW...HA! Sigh....I can hardly wake up in the morning and many times I feel like I didn't even sleep- I can't handle stress very well anymore-and I can pretty much only do one thing at a time- I almost come unglued when I have to "multi-task" oh gosh how I HATE that newfangled modern word..."multi-task" blech! 
My boss must have an everready battery up his butt because he never STOPS...he practically runs from his desk to the copier and expects every one to do the same- and I just CAN'T...not anymore...I sit almost all day and now I swell....bloat...I get gas from everything...and headaches.....and I need a nap around 2pm but can't take one- sometimes I can't stand it so I go to the ladies room to grab 5 on the toilet.....I sit on the closed lid and lean against the wall....I can't help it....if people that knew me knew the real me I don't think they would believe it! I feel like I live in 2 worlds- one that I put on for the public ...and...reality...the reality that I don't let people know about....like taking a nap on the toilet because I couldn't sleep the night before.....I cry a lot now...sometimes for no reason...I get angry a lot too...screaming mad- I embarass myself with my nastiness...it just comes out of my mouth without warning....I remind myself of that comedy movie with Jim Carey...the one where he couldn't lie and he told everyone the truth....forgot the name of movie....(Liar, Liar..??) anyhow- yeah...things just come out of my mouth now and I'm shocked at times....I shock myself. I think the worst is the tiredness and mood-swings...or is it the nightsweats that keep me from sleeping that makes me dog-tired during the day and irritable..???? I don't know..one thing is tied to the other....and I can't figure out sometimes what is worse-sigh....I get pains in my lower abdomen- I have a feeling they are cysts but the doctor said that it might be a spinal problem....that's just nuts to me....they get really bad around the time of my period-really bad-sometimes I can't keep a straight face- and these hairs on my chin...YIKES! I'm constantly pulling out these stiff prickly hairs on my chin....!!!
OMG-I think I'm turning into my old aunt Freida...
Well.....at least I found this forum where no one will think I'm nuts .....
I hope I am making sense!
I just can't believe that so many of us suffer from the same things and that when you go to a doctor most of them can't diagnose correctly- at least not in my neck of the woods...er..ocean....what I have begun to do is trust other women- listen to their stories and compare them to mine even though we are all different there are so many similarities with this menojunks that I have found more help and relief just from listening to all of "you" and trying the different things that other sisters have tried....I can honestly say that I have never gotten any relief from anything I was told or prescribed by a doctor- but then again ...we don't have many doctors here...before this perijunks started I was...so full of energy, I could work from early morning to late at night with hardly a problem- I was mostly cheerful, I could handle several fairly stressful tasks at the same time and bounce back pretty quick from "over-doing" it and being tired....I could literally go,go,go! NOW...HA! Sigh....I can hardly wake up in the morning and many times I feel like I didn't even sleep- I can't handle stress very well anymore-and I can pretty much only do one thing at a time- I almost come unglued when I have to "multi-task" oh gosh how I HATE that newfangled modern word..."multi-task" blech! My boss must have an everready battery up his butt because he never STOPS...he practically runs from his desk to the copier and expects every one to do the same- and I just CAN'T...not anymore...I sit almost all day and now I swell....bloat...I get gas from everything...and headaches.....and I need a nap around 2pm but can't take one- sometimes I can't stand it so I go to the ladies room to grab 5 on the toilet.....I sit on the closed lid and lean against the wall....I can't help it....if people that knew me knew the real me I don't think they would believe it! I feel like I live in 2 worlds- one that I put on for the public ...and...reality...the reality that I don't let people know about....like taking a nap on the toilet because I couldn't sleep the night before.....I cry a lot now...sometimes for no reason...I get angry a lot too...screaming mad- I embarass myself with my nastiness...it just comes out of my mouth without warning....I remind myself of that comedy movie with Jim Carey...the one where he couldn't lie and he told everyone the truth....forgot the name of movie....(Liar, Liar..??) anyhow- yeah...things just come out of my mouth now and I'm shocked at times....I shock myself. I think the worst is the tiredness and mood-swings...or is it the nightsweats that keep me from sleeping that makes me dog-tired during the day and irritable..???? I don't know..one thing is tied to the other....and I can't figure out sometimes what is worse-sigh....I get pains in my lower abdomen- I have a feeling they are cysts but the doctor said that it might be a spinal problem....that's just nuts to me....they get really bad around the time of my period-really bad-sometimes I can't keep a straight face- and these hairs on my chin...YIKES! I'm constantly pulling out these stiff prickly hairs on my chin....!!! OMG-I think I'm turning into my old aunt Freida...
Well.....at least I found this forum where no one will think I'm nuts .....
I hope I am making sense!
oh..my..I rambled on and on about my ailments...I'm so sorry....I guess I just wanted to add a little about some of the positive effects of going through this perimenojunks.....before Peri I was so timid- I rarely ever gave my opinion about anything- I was so afraid of people and of what they would think of me- I thought everyone was way "schmarter" than me! But enter "perimenowoman"...badabing! What a change...now my opinion comes out of my mouth if I want it to or not! People don't push me around anymore like they used to- I was "picked on" a lot - specially by my X's family....not anymore! I feel a lot more confident in some ways-I'm not afraid to talk to people - and I'm honest now- gut level- I say what I feel-it's not that I was not honest before-but I didn't always say what I really felt-I kept it inside and tested the waters first-if it went againt popular opinion I stayed quiet....I'm finding that honest does not always sit well with people-funny..I never knew that before...sure helps you weed out your true friends! My spirituality has changed tremendously-it's become very personal and I don't agree with most of what I hear coming out of many religious folks heads....I'm tired of the non-sense fluff ideas and the scare tactics! I think that to my old friends it may seem that I have become LESS religious...I guess in a way they are correct- I've thrown out religion for deep spirituality- I've heard from an old friend not too long ago...she said I needed to "repent" and come back to God....I just had to shake my head and laugh a that statement.....I didn't even bother to respond. I think also one of the biggest changes in my personality is my zero tolerance for crap-and "busywork" I have no time for it anymore- I keep saying that I am going to quit my job and do something that satisfies me inside..and I am...my current job is endless paperwork that goes no where and I think is actually invented to make us all look like we are doing something important...to make the talking heads feel good ....sheesh...I have no time for it anymore....I am working on getting my yoga teacher training and teaching yoga to women like me...some of my friends think it's a great idea and a perfect fit and then there are the "professional" friends I have ( nothing against professional people...) who think I'm nuts to give up a career to be a "yoga" teacher....I also want to teach meditation...my religious friends blew a gasket at that one....
but I simply don't care anymore- perimeno has driven me to cut out all the non-sense and uselsess junk out of my life and cut to the chase-get to the core of what I really want- I know that sounds a bit selfish- don't get me wrong- I still love and care for my 3 kids...5 stepkids and 14 grandkids..and my hubby who reallyis a doll and my best friend..I'm very much involved with them and love it....it's all other stuff that I can't stand anymore...yeah...running from my desk to the copier...working late hours because the boss gets irked that he is the only one staying late...forget it..I'm not doing it anymore.....I can't ...............
I'll go nuts.....
don't get me wrong...I'm not yet where I'd like to be- but boy..I am working on it...with a passion....when I'm not too tired....
but I simply don't care anymore- perimeno has driven me to cut out all the non-sense and uselsess junk out of my life and cut to the chase-get to the core of what I really want- I know that sounds a bit selfish- don't get me wrong- I still love and care for my 3 kids...5 stepkids and 14 grandkids..and my hubby who reallyis a doll and my best friend..I'm very much involved with them and love it....it's all other stuff that I can't stand anymore...yeah...running from my desk to the copier...working late hours because the boss gets irked that he is the only one staying late...forget it..I'm not doing it anymore.....I can't ...............
I'll go nuts.....
don't get me wrong...I'm not yet where I'd like to be- but boy..I am working on it...with a passion....when I'm not too tired....
QUOTE (Dearest @ Jan 27 2004, 06:08 AM)
Many of us never really thought much about menopause prior to "being there." And, if we did think about menopause before, it was likely that we thought it would be the end of our periods - and nothing like what it actually is.
As most of us know by now, menopause can be a time of difficult physical, emotional and spiritual changes - changes in temperament, changes in the way we react to everything we're feeling, changes in the way we interact with others - changes in our personalities.
At the same time, a common phrase I've used and believe in is, menopause doesn't happen in a vacuum. We were many things before perimenopause reared its ugly head -- some of us with certain temperaments before any of this started. Some of us always tolerated pain well. Some of us may have lived with more anxiety than the average person. Some of us may have been prone to depression. Many of us had/have more problems in general than the average person before menopause started. Some of us may have had marital difficulties prior to menopause.
One thing that's crystal clear to most of us is that menopause exacerbates ALL the pre-existing problems that existed before the perimenopausal years.
What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember 
as compared to who you are now.
Thanks
Dearest
Most likely this will be my sole post.
I’ve had hormone imbalance since I entered puberty that caused me to pull out my hair (I don't remember doing this but this is what the doctors claimed) when I was in high school and I had bald spots over my head, I 'saw' things that were not me in mirrors, had periods that would stop for months and years at a time, etc., then start and not be red or even brown, but black.
Disturbances continued to worsen and I was put into a hospital under partial out patient care which meant that part of the week I was in the hospital, and the rest I was at home. I was given mega doses of combined mood elevators and tranquilizers. I was informed many years after that this treatment was a now illegal protocol to lobotomize via medication. This was also what happened when I lost my children and 8 months of memory.
I had a partial hysterectomy at 28, the surgeon spent quite a bit of time telling me what they found (among sexual mutilation). I had one ovary that had been so extensively eaten by cysts that he suspected it had been going on for many years, and the other ovary had never opened up....it was that of a child of 10 years old. He explained that I had been existing on only fleeting estrogen (probably most of my life), but that once the second ovary had been stimulated (he did while I was still surgically open), it would continue to blossom and function and will still very full of eggs).
So, for me, menopause was delayed and even now I am probably not where most women my age would be. However, when I did begin menopause, my symptoms were severe again as they had been when I was younger, very close to suicide and violence.
I have been having hormone imbalance since I entered puberty that caused me to pull out my hair (I don't remember doing this) when I was in high school and I had bald spots over my head, I 'saw' things that were not me in mirrors, had periods that would stop for months and years at a time, etc. This was also what happened when I lost my children. Over the years symptoms got worse.
When I had a partial hysterectomy at 28, the surgeon spent quite a bit of time telling me what they found (among sexual mutilation), I had one ovary that had been eaten by cysts that apparently had been going on for many years, and the other had never opened up....it was that of a child of 10 years old. He explained that I had been existing on only fleeting estrogen (probably most of my life), but that once the second ovary had been stimulated (he did something that stimulated it while I was open), it would blossom and function and will still very full of eggs).
So, for me, menopause was delayed and even now I am probably not where most women my age would be. However, when it did begin, my symptoms were severe and violent, very close to suicide and violence.
Most of my teeth crumbled and abscessed, my hair fell out, hot flashes occurred every 15 to 20 minutes with such intensity that I had to keep windows open even in the winter and remained in room temperatures close to 30 degrees. I became sick with a fever well above 104 and continued working. I was nearly 50 then and helped install carpet.
I didn't have access to HRT though because I had no health insurance and no money so it was my county who finally got me to a GYN long after I should have begun this therapy. For a very short number of 6 years I have felt normal, in control. I have only been married two years now, a new beginning even at my age and.....
Still, when I read over the 34 symptoms, it became glaringly apparent that MANY symptoms were not only unrecognized by me as being menopausal, for reasons I cannot ascertain, a series of doctors sent me for a wide variety of VERY uncomfortable, costly, and time-consuming tests include a Pet Scan that resulted in ‘nothing’ from their specific areas of specialties.
I had to see a new GYN doctor who decided that my dose should be cut in half. Like many women I felt it would really be nice to not have to take anything. And of course as I said, I was feeling more controlled.....
I have been on the half dose for two months and among other moderate to not so moderate symptoms began to rebirth. A very violent episode now has frightened me half to death. For two days and nights I dared not let my new husband even near me, nor any of my animals. I did not bath, brush my teeth or hair, didn't change clothes nor did I sleep in our bed but isolated myself two stories below. I had in fact, gone back to all the years before having access to hormone replacement. I know the feeling and symptoms too well because I've lived with them for too many years.
I don't want to lose my husband, I don't want hate to rule my life especially when I can in no way identify the origin of such feelings and behavior.
I am reminded that there are many physical malfunctions that medicine controls and the entire world accepts that they must be:
Insulin is given to those whose bodies will not properly produce it
Heart medication is given to those whose hearts will not cooperate
Thyroid is given to those whose bodies do not properly produce
I think this list could probably go on…….yet
For some reason those of us who do not produce or never produced hormones in adequate balances are told we should not take them, that we will live longer……… Amazingly, these same physicians will readily offer anti-depressants, tranquilizers narcotics (to which the patient then becomes addicted) over simply giving the body what it really needs to be healthy.
I would rather die early than live many years filled with hate and not even know where it comes from, or with the fear I will hurt someone and have to live all those extra years alone because no one, not even myself can bear to be in my vicinity.
I would rather live a shorter duration and be with those I love in relative control and peace and love.
I do not think quantity should be preferred or valued over quality…..
QUOTE (Dearest @ Jan 27 2004, 06:08 AM)
What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
In spite of my earlier post (which I claimed would probably be my ONLY post) I wanted to respond better to the questions asked because I believe they are MOST relevant to women. They are relevant because females have consistently been problematic to doctors (no, not just men) from the age of 10 to 110. Men believe we are deliberately mysterious, and doctors have no better diagram to diagnose and appear to chalk all complaints up to being 'female' and shuffle us off.
Who I was before is the same person I am now. The main difference is that I was hiding inside the house-that-is-me then, and now I now I'm standing at the door of that house-that-is-me vocalizing. What I was afraid to share before, I'm more open to sharing now. My inside voice was always loud enough, but I kept it muffled so I would not interfere or intrude on others.
As far as traveling to the doctor.... I don't like going now. Part of this is because I used to trust them, I almost believed they were 'gods' who had the right answers but that was a VERY long time ago.
Now I view doctors mostly as dangerous in their interpretation of what should be normal, or what is physical from what is psychological. If a physician cannot easily define or diagnose a complaint, they simply hurl the 'offender' to another specialist or for tests that seem never to stop. I have found physicians frequently are off on tangents that become so far afield that the original sin-complaint goes away on its own, or the patient becomes so terrifically terrified and ill from the tests that the original complaint becomes something they'd rather live with or die with. The patient decides to hide the problem, pretend it doesn't exist, or just suffers in silence.
Physicians are so mired now in fear of law suits that they would rather make the boundaries of specific disorders or natural changes fit into very clear and easily tested definitions. Anything kind of deviation in complaint or concern that falls beyond those borders become fearful for doctors. Which is of course the greater part of the problem for women from the beginning of puberty until death. We are the 'unknown'.
Yes, I often think I'm on the verge of a stroke or heart attack. Palpitations are new to me and when I feel that flutter-bang it terrifies me, springs into a panic-attack that they produces adrenalin that makes my heart beat harder and even more irregular which scares me even further, which makes me panic................well, we ALL know where this goes.
I think we all have a right to be angry though, to an extent. We first figure if we can get through puberty (we don't think this consciously at the time because we're too young) if we can get to age 20, then we'll be okay and all the flooding feelings will be gone. Then we get pregnant, some of us multiple times and that makes it own set of emotional woes but we figure once all that's done, then we can just enjoy life with a family. But shortly we enter the first phase of menopause, and we realize the second set's got to be fought before the third step of it comes and we're really talking about years for each step.
That's when we FINALLY realize that being female is a mystery to not just everyone else, but to us as well.
Wow I've read so many things that describe me it's frightening.
I think I can pick things out of almost every post and relate them to myself.
The majority of my life I was clincally depressed and didn't know it. You learn to push things down and hide them from the world just to function day to day. Then it started to get to me and I got to a Dr and tried meds after meds after meds and none worked. I ended up doing bio-feedback and the light switched flipped and I saw things differently. I did not have all the sessions I should have, but that's because of logistics.
I did however have enough to learn that my brain wasn't firing properly. Instead of having peaks and valleys in my emotions, I was flat. I didn't have highs and lows like others. Just steady constant flat emotions.
When you live with it everyday for as long as you can remember you know no different. Luckily, I married a sensitive man. He was raised by a nurse and started to tell me that I was depressed. Best thing was he understood.
Shortly after getting past the depression, I noticed changes in my body. So I made an appointment with a GYN who said I was too young to be starting to change. She said my hormone levels were fine and not to worry.
But, I went from being regular, like clock work, to missing now and then. Then it became missing more and more, and finally it's been over a year since I've had a cycle.
Here I am 4 years later, confirmed post menopause. The hormone tests confirmed it.
I've had it pretty easy compared to most - I think. But I'm noticing headaches, either hot or cold flashes - it depends and makes no sense, I've been told I'm moody - but not me I can't be moody
- and now some tingling.
Some of the symptoms I have are related to neck problems I have. I have 2 "bulging" discs and nerve damage on my right side. So, some of the symptoms I've been experiencing I've been blaming on my neck. Now, after reading so many posts, I'm sure it's a combination of my neck and my hormones going nuts.
Thanks everyone for being so open and sharing your experiences. They helped me to know I'm not really insane - it just seems that way at times.
I was sharing with my husband some of what I have been reading and he just laughed and said.....So this is normal and I just need to learn to stay out of the way.
I think I can pick things out of almost every post and relate them to myself.
The majority of my life I was clincally depressed and didn't know it. You learn to push things down and hide them from the world just to function day to day. Then it started to get to me and I got to a Dr and tried meds after meds after meds and none worked. I ended up doing bio-feedback and the light switched flipped and I saw things differently. I did not have all the sessions I should have, but that's because of logistics.
I did however have enough to learn that my brain wasn't firing properly. Instead of having peaks and valleys in my emotions, I was flat. I didn't have highs and lows like others. Just steady constant flat emotions.
When you live with it everyday for as long as you can remember you know no different. Luckily, I married a sensitive man. He was raised by a nurse and started to tell me that I was depressed. Best thing was he understood.
Shortly after getting past the depression, I noticed changes in my body. So I made an appointment with a GYN who said I was too young to be starting to change. She said my hormone levels were fine and not to worry.
But, I went from being regular, like clock work, to missing now and then. Then it became missing more and more, and finally it's been over a year since I've had a cycle.
Here I am 4 years later, confirmed post menopause. The hormone tests confirmed it.
I've had it pretty easy compared to most - I think. But I'm noticing headaches, either hot or cold flashes - it depends and makes no sense, I've been told I'm moody - but not me I can't be moody
- and now some tingling. Some of the symptoms I have are related to neck problems I have. I have 2 "bulging" discs and nerve damage on my right side. So, some of the symptoms I've been experiencing I've been blaming on my neck. Now, after reading so many posts, I'm sure it's a combination of my neck and my hormones going nuts.
Thanks everyone for being so open and sharing your experiences. They helped me to know I'm not really insane - it just seems that way at times.
I was sharing with my husband some of what I have been reading and he just laughed and said.....So this is normal and I just need to learn to stay out of the way.
QUOTE (bamboo @ Apr 1 2007, 05:07 AM)
Add me to the ranks of women who feel amazed at reading all these posts and identifying with almost every single peri-issue! I have also been to doctor after doctor who have told me everything from : it's nothing we can identify to everything else under the sun but they were not sure....sigh.... I just can't believe that so many of us suffer from the same things and that when you go to a doctor most of them can't diagnose correctly- at least not in my neck of the woods...er..ocean....what I have begun to do is trust other women- listen to their stories and compare them to mine even though we are all different there are so many similarities with this menojunks that I have found more help and relief just from listening to all of "you" and trying the different things that other sisters have tried....I can honestly say that I have never gotten any relief from anything I was told or prescribed by a doctor- but then again ...we don't have many doctors here...before this perijunks started I was...so full of energy, I could work from early morning to late at night with hardly a problem- I was mostly cheerful, I could handle several fairly stressful tasks at the same time and bounce back pretty quick from "over-doing" it and being tired....I could literally go,go,go! NOW...HA! Sigh....I can hardly wake up in the morning and many times I feel like I didn't even sleep- I can't handle stress very well anymore-and I can pretty much only do one thing at a time- I almost come unglued when I have to "multi-task" oh gosh how I HATE that newfangled modern word..."multi-task" blech! My boss must have an everready battery up his butt because he never STOPS...he practically runs from his desk to the copier and expects every one to do the same- and I just CAN'T...not anymore...I sit almost all day and now I swell....bloat...I get gas from everything...and headaches.....and I need a nap around 2pm but can't take one- sometimes I can't stand it so I go to the ladies room to grab 5 on the toilet.....I sit on the closed lid and lean against the wall....I can't help it....if people that knew me knew the real me I don't think they would believe it! I feel like I live in 2 worlds- one that I put on for the public ...and...reality...the reality that I don't let people know about....like taking a nap on the toilet because I couldn't sleep the night before.....I cry a lot now...sometimes for no reason...I get angry a lot too...screaming mad- I embarass myself with my nastiness...it just comes out of my mouth without warning....I remind myself of that comedy movie with Jim Carey...the one where he couldn't lie and he told everyone the truth....forgot the name of movie....(Liar, Liar..??) anyhow- yeah...things just come out of my mouth now and I'm shocked at times....I shock myself. I think the worst is the tiredness and mood-swings...or is it the nightsweats that keep me from sleeping that makes me dog-tired during the day and irritable..???? I don't know..one thing is tied to the other....and I can't figure out sometimes what is worse-sigh....I get pains in my lower abdomen- I have a feeling they are cysts but the doctor said that it might be a spinal problem....that's just nuts to me....they get really bad around the time of my period-really bad-sometimes I can't keep a straight face- and these hairs on my chin...YIKES! I'm constantly pulling out these stiff prickly hairs on my chin....!!!
OMG-I think I'm turning into my old aunt Freida...
Well.....at least I found this forum where no one will think I'm nuts .....
I hope I am making sense!
I just can't believe that so many of us suffer from the same things and that when you go to a doctor most of them can't diagnose correctly- at least not in my neck of the woods...er..ocean....what I have begun to do is trust other women- listen to their stories and compare them to mine even though we are all different there are so many similarities with this menojunks that I have found more help and relief just from listening to all of "you" and trying the different things that other sisters have tried....I can honestly say that I have never gotten any relief from anything I was told or prescribed by a doctor- but then again ...we don't have many doctors here...before this perijunks started I was...so full of energy, I could work from early morning to late at night with hardly a problem- I was mostly cheerful, I could handle several fairly stressful tasks at the same time and bounce back pretty quick from "over-doing" it and being tired....I could literally go,go,go! NOW...HA! Sigh....I can hardly wake up in the morning and many times I feel like I didn't even sleep- I can't handle stress very well anymore-and I can pretty much only do one thing at a time- I almost come unglued when I have to "multi-task" oh gosh how I HATE that newfangled modern word..."multi-task" blech! My boss must have an everready battery up his butt because he never STOPS...he practically runs from his desk to the copier and expects every one to do the same- and I just CAN'T...not anymore...I sit almost all day and now I swell....bloat...I get gas from everything...and headaches.....and I need a nap around 2pm but can't take one- sometimes I can't stand it so I go to the ladies room to grab 5 on the toilet.....I sit on the closed lid and lean against the wall....I can't help it....if people that knew me knew the real me I don't think they would believe it! I feel like I live in 2 worlds- one that I put on for the public ...and...reality...the reality that I don't let people know about....like taking a nap on the toilet because I couldn't sleep the night before.....I cry a lot now...sometimes for no reason...I get angry a lot too...screaming mad- I embarass myself with my nastiness...it just comes out of my mouth without warning....I remind myself of that comedy movie with Jim Carey...the one where he couldn't lie and he told everyone the truth....forgot the name of movie....(Liar, Liar..??) anyhow- yeah...things just come out of my mouth now and I'm shocked at times....I shock myself. I think the worst is the tiredness and mood-swings...or is it the nightsweats that keep me from sleeping that makes me dog-tired during the day and irritable..???? I don't know..one thing is tied to the other....and I can't figure out sometimes what is worse-sigh....I get pains in my lower abdomen- I have a feeling they are cysts but the doctor said that it might be a spinal problem....that's just nuts to me....they get really bad around the time of my period-really bad-sometimes I can't keep a straight face- and these hairs on my chin...YIKES! I'm constantly pulling out these stiff prickly hairs on my chin....!!! OMG-I think I'm turning into my old aunt Freida...
Well.....at least I found this forum where no one will think I'm nuts .....
I hope I am making sense!
Whenever I read the posts I'm just amazed at how much alike our symptoms our. Almost like we're a bunch of clones. It's spooky but comforting at least. The question I have is - does anyone ever feel "normal" again or is this it?
QUOTE (horsinaround @ Apr 11 2007, 07:05 AM)
Whenever I read the posts I'm just amazed at how much alike our symptoms our. Almost like we're a bunch of clones. It's spooky but comforting at least. The question I have is - does anyone ever feel "normal" again or is this it?
I have like triple whammy. I have been severely anemic since October 2. I have had 3 blood transfusion from this date to March 8 when I had my hysterectomy, complete. I had very bad fibroid causing very heavy bleeding causing me to be severely anemic. Even after my surgery my Hemo was back down to 8 so had yet another blood transfusion. Now to date is is back up to 14.0 and I don't have to take the iron anymore. With the complete hysterectomy I went into Instant menopause...........Some days I cant stand myself, also during all this they found I have a very low thyroid that I am still trying to get under control. It is better but needs to level out. with all this going on it is hard to diagnosed what symptoms are what? Since the symptoms of thyroid are a lot of time mistaken for menopause...........I am doing better have some bad days, the irritability is the worse though is improving. There were weeks there I could not even stand myself. Ofcource I have also googled my self to death and just has caused so much fear in me. I have diagnosed myself with "Google diabetes" "Heart disease" I do swear every symptom you have on Google is all heart related. So off to my doctor I kept going, or the ER .......I am doing better with that though. My doctor is not much better than Google, but I was so lucky she referred me to a wonderful OBYGN..........Anyway googling did help me find this site and I don't sign of for many but after reading a few post I feel a little better and hope to get to know some of you.......Thanks Lady di from California
QUOTE(Dearest @ Jan 27 2004, 06:08 AM) *
What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
OMG this is my life right now.......I found this after I posted my last post........
Right now my biggest fear is I may have blood clots................
as said in post before they know me personally at the ER, I was going every two weeks for something. Only twice was there a reason my anemia was severe............................
WOW! Iam truly blessed to have found this board! I realized about 8 yrs ago I could be going through peri. the mood swings, hot flushes at night somrtimes, but I didnt give it too much thought untill dec.05 I ended up in ER 5 times with wild panic attacks, feeling as though i was having a heart attack or worse. I have asthma so the docs were telling me that was the problem. then they discovered i have diabetes. told me i must lose lots of wieght.i weighed 254. So i went home and broke down. but took the weight loss to heart and have lost 80 pds. but the peri symptoms have really become awful. last month while biking with my DH i just started bleeding all over the place i looked like i had been shot or something we were 4 miles from the truck on a public bike path! blood was squishing out of my shoes for petes sake. i paniced and had to quickly down a pill then went into an asthma attack! my DH fell off his bike which made it all worseLOL I called my doc office that day but she was gone for the week and i talked to a triage nurse who just said welcome to the club. to make a long story short in the past month I have now had wild heart beats, horrible bleeding and now my hair is falling out Oh Lord when does this end???? my dr. has put me on meds to stop the bleeding which is working but all this other stuff going on leads me to believe that the me i used to know is gone she ran away the day the bleeding started! im thankful my DH loves me and is understanding. im glad to know that iam not alone in this wild transision and after reading some of your stories here i know im at home! thanks dearest:)
When I review my life in terms of before and during (I haven't gotten to "after", as of yet) menopause, the things that stand out for me are kind of oxymorons, if you will. I will answer your questions, but not in the order you might want - my fingers are taking control of the keyboard! When perimenopause "hit" I found that I was becoming increasingly more anxious than I ever was before. Mind you, I come from an anxiety ridden family, but I never reacted all that anxiously to most things, except for small stuff, like having to stand up in front of a room to speak or when I had to take my road test or board a plane to fly. I would freak out of course, but once the event passed and I was actually "living it" I was fine. With perimenopause, all of that changed and my anxiety went out of control. In fact, it was so bad I actually started to develop panic attacks -- while driving, which was ever so much fun!
During that awful time in my life, I truly thought I had clearly lost my mind from all of the stress I was enduring at the time ( a separation and divorce, selling my marital home, relocating, moving, getting a new job the year before and then losing it for reasons that were never explained to me, along with having gynecological surgery for the umpteenth time). It never occurred to me that it was perimenopause until my female internist asked me how old I was and explained that anxiety and panic attacks were the norm for the age I was at the time (@41-42). I was shocked. Who knew? I certainly didn't and I read a lot about women's health. Anyway, even with the diagnosis I still felt like a crazy person, especially because I had endured far worse than what I was going through at the time, but that was when I was far younger and my hormones were relatively normal. I felt ashamed and broken when the attacks arrived, as much as I felt like a failure, especially considering all I had been through in life. What made it worse was the Paxil the MD prescribed. While it helped alleviate some of the panic attacks I had (although my true healing began when I simply buckled down and refused to give in to it), I gained about 50 lbs on my slender frame and ballooned up to over 185 lbs on that god awful drug. I felt sluggish and flat, along with fat. This only added to my lovely state of mind. I loathed myself and felt about as sexual and as beautiful as a broken lamp.
And yet, the weird thing of it all was this - and this is the oxymoron I mentioned above - when perimenopause arrived I was actually discovering my voice. I learned the fine art of saying "No" (I was always a "yes" person and excessively accommodated other people's needs before my own), and I ostensibly allowed people - including my oldest and dearest friends - to walk all over me. In effect, I was more of a mouse before - quiet and sweet and excessively patient - and I didn't make room for my self. When the perimenopause hit, I did. I cut my old friends out of my life because they were too toxic for me. I set limits and boundaries where I never did before. I stopped trying to please everybody, and learned - finally, to please myself first, even if I lost a few friends in the process. I know I shocked a lot of people, but the sad truth is that I ALWAYS had a voice before - along with opinions, ideals and commentary - but I was too chicken to express them; I was too afraid to speak to what I felt because I was afraid of being alone. That all changed when my hormones started to shift.
With perimenopause came other things. Fibromyalgia is one of them, even though I suspected I had it years and years before. I was always someone who walked and talked fast. If anyone could be described as a typical New Yorker I most certainly could have fulfilled that role. I was one. But with the fibromyalgia and the perimenopause (and probably the Paxil, too), I was more exhausted and drained than what I was used to being. This was hard for me at first - hard for me to see that my body's energy had become so depleted that I could barely sleep at night! In fact, most of the time I would wake up at least 20 times during the night, which actually is a hallmark of the condition. When that happened, my body ached terribly until I would eventually have a "flare". That's when the pain would hit and frankly, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It was hard for me to cope with all of these changes in my body. I couldn't catch up and deal with the pain sometimes, but, I am stubborn and I continued to press forward, unwilling to give the fibromyalgia further credibility. Having this syndrome further fostered my need to place myself first. I live this way even now. I no longer take garbage from anyone, and that includes my husband, my friends, my family. I feel stronger now, in spite of the raging storm of my hormones.
The physical stuff - like the whacky periods, etc - are troubling for me at times, but I have always had gynecological problems, and I am kind of used to something going wrong inside my body. It started when I was twelve years old when I got my first period. From pelvic cysts, to uterine and fallopian tube deformities, to heavy periods, lots of pain, endometriosis and fibroids I've seen it all, so there really has been no differentiation in that regard.
And as for moods, well, I am moody anyway, so the additional mood swings are really the norm for me in a way. I guess the difference is that I am more direct about my feelings now than I was.
Let's talk about sex. What's sex? What's a vagina? What's LUST? Tell me what that is because I haven't got the slightest clue as to what that is! LOL! Perimenopause means that my interest in sex has taken an extended vacation to the furthest planet in the Universe. Any semblance of desire has all but disappeared or is pretty much fleeting. The only time I feel even remotely sexual - and I mean remotely- is when I am getting my period. After that, it's gone. I have no interest in it AT ALL. My husband is amazingly patient and kind with me, but I feel a lot of guilt about this. Before perimenopause I loved sex but now? I would rather read. or be alone...which brings me to the next point...
I am restless. Bored. I want to go back to my youth and do the things I didn't get a chance to do then. I want a "do over" in lots of things in my life. I want change, but I haven't got the slightest clue as to what I want to be when I grow up, but I am already THERE. I want to be free. I want to be alone. I want to be married. I don't want to be married. I want to be 30 again when my hair was its real color. I want to be thinner and get a boob job, but I don't really. The truth is that I have a great life - a great husband who supports me (emotionally, that is) to the ends of the earth; a great, interesting and well paying job I actually like. I have a gorgeous house, lots of friends, and everything I could ever want - and all I have earned on my own, but it doesn't seem good enough, somehow. This makes me nuts. I want change, but I am terrified of it. I have not one iota of a clue as to which foot I should place forward first. I feel stuck.
Before? My feet were firmly planted on the ground. I knew the direction I was headed in, but now I am just confused. And yet - more oxymoron's - I am more confident than ever. Go figure.
So this is what it's like for me. Nutso.
During that awful time in my life, I truly thought I had clearly lost my mind from all of the stress I was enduring at the time ( a separation and divorce, selling my marital home, relocating, moving, getting a new job the year before and then losing it for reasons that were never explained to me, along with having gynecological surgery for the umpteenth time). It never occurred to me that it was perimenopause until my female internist asked me how old I was and explained that anxiety and panic attacks were the norm for the age I was at the time (@41-42). I was shocked. Who knew? I certainly didn't and I read a lot about women's health. Anyway, even with the diagnosis I still felt like a crazy person, especially because I had endured far worse than what I was going through at the time, but that was when I was far younger and my hormones were relatively normal. I felt ashamed and broken when the attacks arrived, as much as I felt like a failure, especially considering all I had been through in life. What made it worse was the Paxil the MD prescribed. While it helped alleviate some of the panic attacks I had (although my true healing began when I simply buckled down and refused to give in to it), I gained about 50 lbs on my slender frame and ballooned up to over 185 lbs on that god awful drug. I felt sluggish and flat, along with fat. This only added to my lovely state of mind. I loathed myself and felt about as sexual and as beautiful as a broken lamp.
And yet, the weird thing of it all was this - and this is the oxymoron I mentioned above - when perimenopause arrived I was actually discovering my voice. I learned the fine art of saying "No" (I was always a "yes" person and excessively accommodated other people's needs before my own), and I ostensibly allowed people - including my oldest and dearest friends - to walk all over me. In effect, I was more of a mouse before - quiet and sweet and excessively patient - and I didn't make room for my self. When the perimenopause hit, I did. I cut my old friends out of my life because they were too toxic for me. I set limits and boundaries where I never did before. I stopped trying to please everybody, and learned - finally, to please myself first, even if I lost a few friends in the process. I know I shocked a lot of people, but the sad truth is that I ALWAYS had a voice before - along with opinions, ideals and commentary - but I was too chicken to express them; I was too afraid to speak to what I felt because I was afraid of being alone. That all changed when my hormones started to shift.
With perimenopause came other things. Fibromyalgia is one of them, even though I suspected I had it years and years before. I was always someone who walked and talked fast. If anyone could be described as a typical New Yorker I most certainly could have fulfilled that role. I was one. But with the fibromyalgia and the perimenopause (and probably the Paxil, too), I was more exhausted and drained than what I was used to being. This was hard for me at first - hard for me to see that my body's energy had become so depleted that I could barely sleep at night! In fact, most of the time I would wake up at least 20 times during the night, which actually is a hallmark of the condition. When that happened, my body ached terribly until I would eventually have a "flare". That's when the pain would hit and frankly, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It was hard for me to cope with all of these changes in my body. I couldn't catch up and deal with the pain sometimes, but, I am stubborn and I continued to press forward, unwilling to give the fibromyalgia further credibility. Having this syndrome further fostered my need to place myself first. I live this way even now. I no longer take garbage from anyone, and that includes my husband, my friends, my family. I feel stronger now, in spite of the raging storm of my hormones.
The physical stuff - like the whacky periods, etc - are troubling for me at times, but I have always had gynecological problems, and I am kind of used to something going wrong inside my body. It started when I was twelve years old when I got my first period. From pelvic cysts, to uterine and fallopian tube deformities, to heavy periods, lots of pain, endometriosis and fibroids I've seen it all, so there really has been no differentiation in that regard.
And as for moods, well, I am moody anyway, so the additional mood swings are really the norm for me in a way. I guess the difference is that I am more direct about my feelings now than I was.
Let's talk about sex. What's sex? What's a vagina? What's LUST? Tell me what that is because I haven't got the slightest clue as to what that is! LOL! Perimenopause means that my interest in sex has taken an extended vacation to the furthest planet in the Universe. Any semblance of desire has all but disappeared or is pretty much fleeting. The only time I feel even remotely sexual - and I mean remotely- is when I am getting my period. After that, it's gone. I have no interest in it AT ALL. My husband is amazingly patient and kind with me, but I feel a lot of guilt about this. Before perimenopause I loved sex but now? I would rather read. or be alone...which brings me to the next point...
I am restless. Bored. I want to go back to my youth and do the things I didn't get a chance to do then. I want a "do over" in lots of things in my life. I want change, but I haven't got the slightest clue as to what I want to be when I grow up, but I am already THERE. I want to be free. I want to be alone. I want to be married. I don't want to be married. I want to be 30 again when my hair was its real color. I want to be thinner and get a boob job, but I don't really. The truth is that I have a great life - a great husband who supports me (emotionally, that is) to the ends of the earth; a great, interesting and well paying job I actually like. I have a gorgeous house, lots of friends, and everything I could ever want - and all I have earned on my own, but it doesn't seem good enough, somehow. This makes me nuts. I want change, but I am terrified of it. I have not one iota of a clue as to which foot I should place forward first. I feel stuck.
Before? My feet were firmly planted on the ground. I knew the direction I was headed in, but now I am just confused. And yet - more oxymoron's - I am more confident than ever. Go figure.
So this is what it's like for me. Nutso.
I was normal! 
Now I'm
Thankfully I have a fantastic partner who's been wonderful.
Now I'm
Thankfully I have a fantastic partner who's been wonderful.
as i've begun to educate myself, i realize that this transition has been very gradual & that i could only connect some of the symptoms in restrospect. i have some chronic health issues, so i just thought that it was some more undefined weird stuff. it never occurred to me that i was beginning the transition (i will be 44 this fall).
i'm going to spare everyone the blow by blow details of the progression thus far. but this spring i had a fit a rage so amazing & so uncharacteristic that i quickly got myself into therapy. & then i got pretty sick as well for a few months, which made life much more difficult.
& yet with all of this, the range of symptoms, the confusion (which has been greatly improved, thanks to resources like this site), & the rest, there is an ongoing positive change that i can't even fully articulate yet. i am different - it's like suddenly i stopped waiting (though obviously nothing sudden about it).
i wasn't in therapy long & i've been congratulating myself on my progress. but today i realize that my hormones have been my partners in creating this different woman. i'm not sure where i will end up - lately all i want to do is be alone & dial down the stimulation from the outside world - but for all the struggle, i'm pretty excited to see where i will end up.
i'm going to spare everyone the blow by blow details of the progression thus far. but this spring i had a fit a rage so amazing & so uncharacteristic that i quickly got myself into therapy. & then i got pretty sick as well for a few months, which made life much more difficult.
& yet with all of this, the range of symptoms, the confusion (which has been greatly improved, thanks to resources like this site), & the rest, there is an ongoing positive change that i can't even fully articulate yet. i am different - it's like suddenly i stopped waiting (though obviously nothing sudden about it).
i wasn't in therapy long & i've been congratulating myself on my progress. but today i realize that my hormones have been my partners in creating this different woman. i'm not sure where i will end up - lately all i want to do is be alone & dial down the stimulation from the outside world - but for all the struggle, i'm pretty excited to see where i will end up.
hI don't even really know if I have perimenapause. Its like Doctors don't know that word at all. But I am definetly different. I used to sing all around the house making up stupid songs that made no sense and of course would be the only one who would laugh......I was always cracking up about the dumbest of jokes or funny shows, yes and dancing around acting silly at almost 50. Not now. I am tired, achy, sweaty, dizzy at times, palpatations, irritable, scared, confused, and just mad, mad about everything. I hate it. My husband doesn't understand any of this, he did put 2 and 2 together and was the one who actually mentioned, "do you realize this has been happening really bad to you right when you begin your monthly cycle (actually the 2nd and 3rd day). I am getting rid of my doc, he started closing his eyes as if he was dozing off during a conversation where I was explaining my feelings. I left and just cried and cried, could hardly see my way home, and mad as ever. I felt humiliated, embarrased, stupid, ashamed, and just wanted to go drive somewhere out in the woods and hide. (not to worry, we have no woods around here in North Dallas) Just a thought.....I have got to get this under control, I feel like it is making me depressed, but I know what true depression is, had it 20 years ago, so I know it isn't the full blown depression. I am on Paxil for antidepressant, 40 mg. I have been on it for 5 years, can't get off of it, it too makes you sweat, and a beta blocker for blood pressure, and a water pill for diurectics. (I hate the diruetics, I don't pee at all.....I can go all day and not urinate even on them, but boy do I sweat. All of the really bad systems have just occured during the last 3 months, and worse 2 or 3 days into my cycle, I have noticed this one is alot lighter than normal, hardly going at all, but it doesn't mean the cramps in my back, stomach, legs and hips are better during that time, that just about cripples me. I get hot, start sweating everywhere, and I mean every inch of my body, then my skin feels cool and clammy to the touch, when it finally stops, I am exhausted and cold all over. Where are you wise one........dearest are you around>>>any feedback from anyone would be a blessing. Am I a bad person for not wanting to be around anyone that much anymore or getting more irritated with everyone??? I feel so ashamed, because I was never like that before. waiting to hear......Teri
I too am like so many of the women that have posted on this site----and as I approach 50--proudly I mght add--I am finally becoming "me" I too have learned to open my mouth, speak my mind, not pussyfoot around everyone---I never thought of it being perimenopause or menopause related---just realized I wasn't goingto be the "patsy" any longer--(spouse isn't liking it to much--oh well) --dealing with the trials/tribulations of menopause--are truly something else---along with everything else women go through in their lives---this is just another step if you will. Myself, I believe this started with me about 8 years ago---mood swings, night hot flashes periodically, now---I'm into full blown hot flashes daytime/nighttime, experience the palpitations--that was WILD the first time that happened, the fuzzy thinking, memory fog---it's crazy! Never ever had issues with period--until about 4 years ago---holy cow---what a change! Now, I laugh---have to be prepared at all times---have "supplies" in my car, in my purse, in my desk at work---cause hey "you never know!" Now it's been two months since I've had a period---which is fine with me--hoping I'm at getting toward the end of this "step in life!"
QUOTE (MaryO @ Jan 27 2004, 10:53 AM)
Wow, what a great topic, Dearest - this really made me think!
Way back, before menopause ever started, I didn't think much about it at all, of course. When I did think about it, it was along the lines of my period just stopping and that was it. No big decisions, no, symptoms, nothing like the reality of it all.
I have the dubious destinction of going through menopause twice, but the first one was MUCH easier than the real thing. In my early 30s, I had another hormone disorder caused by a (benign) brain tumor. The first symptoms of that - stopped periods - led my doctor to believe that I was in early menopause, after he'd ruled out the possibility of pregnancy. My periods had just stopped, and that's what I assumed real menopause to be.
Incidentally, that did happen for my college roommate - her periods did just stop - no fanfare, no flooding, no symptoms. Just stopped. She couldn't understand the big deal I was going through.
Unfortunately, after that other problem was cleared up several years later, the first thing to come back was my periods. The one symptom I didn't want fixed! I would have been delighted if my period had never come back at all - after all, I wasn't going to have any more children. So why would I need this thing?
Then a brief period of "normalcy", period-wise, anyway, then the real menopause started. UGH!
I had no idea what to expect. I thought it would be like the first time. The periods stop and I go about my life. Boy, was I wrong about that.
Some of those early symptoms, especially the 24/7 random itching, nearly drove me over the edge. That was so awful for me, disrupted my sleep, drove me nutty in the days.
I'm quite a different person now than I was in my younger years. I used to act like SuperWoman with all these ToDo lists, getting them all done, juggling all kinds of things. Nowadays, I don't seem to be able to fit into that cape anymore - I can't even find it under the rubble here
The house used to be reasonably clean and tidy. Not any more.
I have not become any more fearful since this menopause started, although I was plenty afraid during the first, fake one. As it turned out, I had some good reasons to be afraid then and I learned that I could face death in a relatively calm way. I am no longer afraid of dying, but I am afraid of possible pain.
Generally, like most of us, I can turn any little thing into the worst possible scenario. Chest pains are heart attacks, other things are cancer. Interestingly, though, when I was in my younger teens I was sure that I had lung cancer - but I didn't tell a soul. Not one of my smarter phases
I go to the doctor much less now. I haven't found that doctors can always help me. I don't want to be prescribed tranquilizers when I say I'm not well, especially if a man in the same situation would get a full workup. I want to be taken seriously because I do know my own body and how it should feel and react - not be patted on the head and told to go away, because I'm a woman / fluffhead.
Usually, if I wait long enough, whatever the problem is goes away on its own, anyway.
I think that my personality has changed somewhat. Some things are better, some not so good. I think I'm a little more social than I used to be. Not a whole lot, but a bit. I spent my earlier life mostly by myself and my family. I have never been one to go out and talk to people or make friends. I'm happy to report that has improved since meno and I have Power Surge to thank for that. Talking in here, in the chats, in IMs has helped me a great deal with this.
I've always been a person who has lived by trying to "hide out", not be noticed by anyone. I would never call attention to myself in any way. Unfortunately, then I sometimes get depressed when no one notices me! Talk about your double standard. LOL
It will be interesting to read what everyone else has to say about these things. It's all very thought provoking to think about.
Way back, before menopause ever started, I didn't think much about it at all, of course. When I did think about it, it was along the lines of my period just stopping and that was it. No big decisions, no, symptoms, nothing like the reality of it all.
I have the dubious destinction of going through menopause twice, but the first one was MUCH easier than the real thing. In my early 30s, I had another hormone disorder caused by a (benign) brain tumor. The first symptoms of that - stopped periods - led my doctor to believe that I was in early menopause, after he'd ruled out the possibility of pregnancy. My periods had just stopped, and that's what I assumed real menopause to be.
Incidentally, that did happen for my college roommate - her periods did just stop - no fanfare, no flooding, no symptoms. Just stopped. She couldn't understand the big deal I was going through.
Unfortunately, after that other problem was cleared up several years later, the first thing to come back was my periods. The one symptom I didn't want fixed! I would have been delighted if my period had never come back at all - after all, I wasn't going to have any more children. So why would I need this thing?
Then a brief period of "normalcy", period-wise, anyway, then the real menopause started. UGH!
I had no idea what to expect. I thought it would be like the first time. The periods stop and I go about my life. Boy, was I wrong about that.
Some of those early symptoms, especially the 24/7 random itching, nearly drove me over the edge. That was so awful for me, disrupted my sleep, drove me nutty in the days.
I'm quite a different person now than I was in my younger years. I used to act like SuperWoman with all these ToDo lists, getting them all done, juggling all kinds of things. Nowadays, I don't seem to be able to fit into that cape anymore - I can't even find it under the rubble here
The house used to be reasonably clean and tidy. Not any more.I have not become any more fearful since this menopause started, although I was plenty afraid during the first, fake one. As it turned out, I had some good reasons to be afraid then and I learned that I could face death in a relatively calm way. I am no longer afraid of dying, but I am afraid of possible pain.
Generally, like most of us, I can turn any little thing into the worst possible scenario. Chest pains are heart attacks, other things are cancer. Interestingly, though, when I was in my younger teens I was sure that I had lung cancer - but I didn't tell a soul. Not one of my smarter phases
I go to the doctor much less now. I haven't found that doctors can always help me. I don't want to be prescribed tranquilizers when I say I'm not well, especially if a man in the same situation would get a full workup. I want to be taken seriously because I do know my own body and how it should feel and react - not be patted on the head and told to go away, because I'm a woman / fluffhead.
Usually, if I wait long enough, whatever the problem is goes away on its own, anyway.
I think that my personality has changed somewhat. Some things are better, some not so good. I think I'm a little more social than I used to be. Not a whole lot, but a bit. I spent my earlier life mostly by myself and my family. I have never been one to go out and talk to people or make friends. I'm happy to report that has improved since meno and I have Power Surge to thank for that. Talking in here, in the chats, in IMs has helped me a great deal with this.
I've always been a person who has lived by trying to "hide out", not be noticed by anyone. I would never call attention to myself in any way. Unfortunately, then I sometimes get depressed when no one notices me! Talk about your double standard. LOL
It will be interesting to read what everyone else has to say about these things. It's all very thought provoking to think about.
Ladies, I hope this might help someone, even one person. I have a wonderful GYN who has saved my life more than once. Three years ago, I was on just about every pain killer (monthly cramps), anti-depressant, and anti-anxiety pill known to man. My symptoms only got worse, but my primary care doctor just kept prescribing. I went to specialists about my insomnia, my night time bladder issues, and my pain. Finally, I went to this wonderful woman who is not only super intelligent, but never makes you feel stupid or crazy. She did a laparoscopy and I had tons of scar tissue (partly from my genetics, partly from a bad c-section). She scheduled me for surgery, but had me lose weight first so that my recovery would be better. A year later, I had dropped 60 pounds and felt great. When she opened me up, the scar tissue was literally pulling my organs apart, hence the pain every month. My bladder was fused to my uterus and I had a baseball sized tumor on my right ovary, which hadn't been there before. She cleaned everything up and left my good ovary to ward off surgical menopause (I was 38 at the time).
I recount this story to tell you where I am now. I have had 2 beyond horribly stressful jobs in the past two years, and I always made excuses about time, so I didn't do my follow up with her. My primary care had me on me on anti-anxiety meds so strong I couldn't stay awake at work. He put me on xanax to stop my anxiety attacks. My tight chest, the fear gripping my stomach, crying jags (great for my professional image), all just kept getting worse, but now the xanax suddenly made me think that cutting myself might be a good idea. My wonderful husband suggested I go back to my GYN (he hates my primary, but you know HMO's), and she did a saliva test on me. (My blood hormones taken at the doctor's office were supposedly within range)
This beauty of a test showed that my DHEA was 17 (should have been between 300-375) and my cortisol was so low that the lab retested it 4 times because they thought they might be misreading it. All my hormones were tanking. My endocrine system was shutting down; it thought from all the constant stress that I was dying. My thyroid was low because it had nothing to supervise. She took me out of work for 7 weeks, but me on homeopathic hormone creams compounded for my age, weight, only having one functioning ovary, etc. She gave me increasing doses of compounded DHEA. I have had an aunt (maternal) die from ovarian cancer and my amazing grandmother (paternal) died a slow death from breast cancer, so I am not willing to chance hrt.
I am sane again. I had cysts on my ovary and liver (they didn't have enough hormones to do their job, so their incomplete cycles produced cysts), but they are gone now, all by themselves. I found any sweating activity I could, mopping my long-neglected floors, calling off our landscaper and doing all my own yard work (with a walking mower), you name it. Nothing fancy, playing soccer and going on the jungle gym and swings with my sixteen year old daughter. I drank organic lemon juice in warm water every day, ate 6 small meals of protein and complex carbs, and I feel amazing.
I am strong again, which is ironic since that is partly what got me into this. I always thought I could do anything and I worked myself almost to death. With only one ovary, the stress of such an extensive surgery, two horrible jobs, and a divorce in the middle, my hormones couldn't handle what I was demanding. I am not on any prescriptions other than my DHEA and progesterone/testosterone cream. When I reported this back to my Primary care doctor, his response was, "Huh, hormones. Who would've thought?' I didn't hit him, or even care that he thought it was something in my head. All I know is that I didn't need surgery for my cysts, my hormone levels are stabilizing, and I don't freak out over the little (or even the big) things anymore. I am the strong woman I always knew I was, again.
If you can relate in any way to what I am saying, find a caring, open-minded doctor who is willing to give you a saliva test for your hormone, DHEA, and cortisol levels. She also gave me a fasting blood test to check my pancreas and thyroid. She gave me back my life, again. Good luck ladies, please don't lose heart. I am glad I didn't believe I was really done living at 42.
I recount this story to tell you where I am now. I have had 2 beyond horribly stressful jobs in the past two years, and I always made excuses about time, so I didn't do my follow up with her. My primary care had me on me on anti-anxiety meds so strong I couldn't stay awake at work. He put me on xanax to stop my anxiety attacks. My tight chest, the fear gripping my stomach, crying jags (great for my professional image), all just kept getting worse, but now the xanax suddenly made me think that cutting myself might be a good idea. My wonderful husband suggested I go back to my GYN (he hates my primary, but you know HMO's), and she did a saliva test on me. (My blood hormones taken at the doctor's office were supposedly within range)
This beauty of a test showed that my DHEA was 17 (should have been between 300-375) and my cortisol was so low that the lab retested it 4 times because they thought they might be misreading it. All my hormones were tanking. My endocrine system was shutting down; it thought from all the constant stress that I was dying. My thyroid was low because it had nothing to supervise. She took me out of work for 7 weeks, but me on homeopathic hormone creams compounded for my age, weight, only having one functioning ovary, etc. She gave me increasing doses of compounded DHEA. I have had an aunt (maternal) die from ovarian cancer and my amazing grandmother (paternal) died a slow death from breast cancer, so I am not willing to chance hrt.
I am sane again. I had cysts on my ovary and liver (they didn't have enough hormones to do their job, so their incomplete cycles produced cysts), but they are gone now, all by themselves. I found any sweating activity I could, mopping my long-neglected floors, calling off our landscaper and doing all my own yard work (with a walking mower), you name it. Nothing fancy, playing soccer and going on the jungle gym and swings with my sixteen year old daughter. I drank organic lemon juice in warm water every day, ate 6 small meals of protein and complex carbs, and I feel amazing.
I am strong again, which is ironic since that is partly what got me into this. I always thought I could do anything and I worked myself almost to death. With only one ovary, the stress of such an extensive surgery, two horrible jobs, and a divorce in the middle, my hormones couldn't handle what I was demanding. I am not on any prescriptions other than my DHEA and progesterone/testosterone cream. When I reported this back to my Primary care doctor, his response was, "Huh, hormones. Who would've thought?' I didn't hit him, or even care that he thought it was something in my head. All I know is that I didn't need surgery for my cysts, my hormone levels are stabilizing, and I don't freak out over the little (or even the big) things anymore. I am the strong woman I always knew I was, again.
If you can relate in any way to what I am saying, find a caring, open-minded doctor who is willing to give you a saliva test for your hormone, DHEA, and cortisol levels. She also gave me a fasting blood test to check my pancreas and thyroid. She gave me back my life, again. Good luck ladies, please don't lose heart. I am glad I didn't believe I was really done living at 42.
I'm intrigued . . . what are homeopathic hormone creams if they're not hormones? (It's just you had said you don't take hormone replacement therapy so I assumed there were no synthetic or bio-identical hormones in them). Is it something like soy, which I always hear referred to as having "estrogen-like" properties? Or something else entirely?
I not that familiar with homeopathy so excuse the stupidity.
Thanks,
kimber
I not that familiar with homeopathy so excuse the stupidity.
Thanks,
kimber
QUOTE (kimberccc @ Jul 6 2007, 09:46 AM)
I'm intrigued . . . what are homeopathic hormone creams if they're not hormones? (It's just you had said you don't take hormone replacement therapy so I assumed there were no synthetic or bio-identical hormones in them). Is it something like soy, which I always hear referred to as having "estrogen-like" properties? Or something else entirely?
I not that familiar with homeopathy so excuse the stupidity.
Thanks,
kimber
I not that familiar with homeopathy so excuse the stupidity.
Thanks,
kimber
I would like to know where we can get some non-prescription hormone creams as well. Especially progesterone/testosterone. I don't have health insurance and it's all on me to find out what works.
As for who I was before meno, and who I am now during the menopause process:
I've had a cessation of periods several times now. And I have to say that once you get off that monthly hormonal rollercoaster you step back and go WOW! I can THINK again! Sure, hot flashes are driving me insane, I have had terrible bouts of insomnia and pleasel dear Goddess, give me back my libido and the functionality of my nether regions!
BUT, I am lucky I guess. I've only had a few cranky weeks out of at least five years of this process. Who knows how long it will last, but at least MOST of the time I don't have hormones interfering with my emotions or brain. MOST of the time I feel so much better than I did, mentally and emotionally, when I had periods.
I hated having periods. From the very first day. I hated every minute of it and had terrible cramps. Oh, and haven't any of you had that periodic 200-yr-old Lady Day? That day right before your period, or the first day of your period where all your joints hurt like crazy and you can barely move and you swell up like a water balloon.....aren't you SO GLAD to say good bye to that?
QUOTE (shark1962 @ Feb 27 2005, 10:21 PM)
Peri-menopause hit without a warning. I am only starting to realize after finding this site, what my body has been going through for the last 2 years. Starting with a feeling of sadness and doom and gloom. (never felt that way before). Then the crazy heavy periods. Then anxiety, insomnia, dizzy spells and fog. The the joints and muscles on my body started to ache and pain for no reason at all. Went for every test imaginable to man and you guessed it.... all normal. I've been to the doctors office about 10 times in the last year and probably only 10 times total in my whole life. She has never ever mentioned peri-menopause. I have put the pieces together myself and after finding this site, confirmed my suspisions. Doc tells me I have fibromyalgia - all the symptoms seem to be the same as peri????
Is this crazy or what. Anyone else given this diagnosis?
Is this crazy or what. Anyone else given this diagnosis?
hi im replying iv had fibromyalgia for years now im menopausal too im 40 had hysterectomy 2 yrs ago i have completley changed my personality is horrible hubby ready to put me away i blow up at dumb stuff i was never like this i cant stand my self and the fibromyalgia is so bad now some times i feel like i cant move never once has my dr associated the two together tho but i believe they go hand in hand
QUOTE (baby @ Jul 12 2007, 01:32 PM)
hi im replying iv had fibromyalgia for years now im menopausal too im 40 had hysterectomy 2 yrs ago i have completley changed my personality is horrible hubby ready to put me away i blow up at dumb stuff i was never like this i cant stand my self and the fibromyalgia is so bad now some times i feel like i cant move never once has my dr associated the two together tho but i believe they go hand in hand
I apologize. I am just getting used to posting here. I am replying to Virginia and fibromyalgia. I had a hysterectomy, a total oopherectomy actually, 20 years ago. I sailed through the operation. Two weeks later I hit a brick wall. My body fell apart. I had pain all over and felt like I was dying. I have since been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I believe it can be brought on by stress like surgery, an accident, etc. My friends would say they were fine after a hysterectomy. I would say but what about the pain? They would say what pain. I eventually found that estrogen helped with the pain, but that it wasn't menopause but the pain of fibro. I just want to say, Virginia, be kind to yourself. Let yourself rest when your body tells you. Have a good caring doctor who will help you with meds, especially to help you sleep at night. Don't beat yourself up with guilt when you have to cancel out plans. It also helps to have the kindest, most loving husband in the world. I had to get divorced to find him, but I have him now, and I thank God. Oh, and also, prayer and faith helps. Good luck to you! Love, Lilyfields
Hi all....I am new to this board but boy am I glad I found you all. I am the 50 yr. mother of 3 twenty something year old children and before all of this menopausal mania began I was a person who could and would do 3 or 4 things at once and then some. Now I am tired, irritable and just downright witchy most of the time.
I loved to travel and now you can barely get me out of the house. I have aches and pains, have developed allergies to medications and have the worse panic attacks that I have ever had. ( I have had attacks since I was 19) I am in therapy for the panic attacks and have seen my GYN and GP at least 20 times over the last 2 yrs. for everything from Fibroids to Xanax! I want to be the person I was 5 years ago but I guess that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I am amazed though at all the women who are saying the same thing. If we are all experiencing the same types of problems why is no one coming up with answers? I cannot take bc due to high blood pressure, and my GYN wants me to get through this naturally so I am dealing with it but there has to be a better answer somewhere for us all!!!
I loved to travel and now you can barely get me out of the house. I have aches and pains, have developed allergies to medications and have the worse panic attacks that I have ever had. ( I have had attacks since I was 19) I am in therapy for the panic attacks and have seen my GYN and GP at least 20 times over the last 2 yrs. for everything from Fibroids to Xanax! I want to be the person I was 5 years ago but I guess that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I am amazed though at all the women who are saying the same thing. If we are all experiencing the same types of problems why is no one coming up with answers? I cannot take bc due to high blood pressure, and my GYN wants me to get through this naturally so I am dealing with it but there has to be a better answer somewhere for us all!!!
Hi
Before perimenopause started for me i was free spirited could do anything, go anywhere, do multiple things at once.
Now i am not free spirited, can't do anything before thinking about it, can't go anywhere with out being terrified, and do things one at a time.
But we must just carry on, we can't just stop living.
Before perimenopause started for me i was free spirited could do anything, go anywhere, do multiple things at once.
Now i am not free spirited, can't do anything before thinking about it, can't go anywhere with out being terrified, and do things one at a time.
But we must just carry on, we can't just stop living.
hi could someone please help me and give any information they can as lm really scared
l am 22 years old l had a baby 10 months ago then went on Depo-provera l came off it 13 weeks before 29th may (bad at maths) they say 2-3 months it wears off and you begin periods but lve only had 2 or 3 spots of blood in last few weeks and l always seem to be really hot and sweaty
please tell me does this sound like menopause?????
lm so worried as l want more kids
pls reply
thanks x
l am 22 years old l had a baby 10 months ago then went on Depo-provera l came off it 13 weeks before 29th may (bad at maths) they say 2-3 months it wears off and you begin periods but lve only had 2 or 3 spots of blood in last few weeks and l always seem to be really hot and sweaty
please tell me does this sound like menopause?????
lm so worried as l want more kids
pls reply
thanks x
WOW! This sounds JUST like me!! The changes for me have been like day and night. I use to be very caring. Now, I couldn't care less!! The list goes on and on. I guess I'll survive. Somedays I'm not so sure. I think this board will help a lot.
Have a Great Day!!
bev
Have a Great Day!!
bev
QUOTE (monica4rd @ Jul 18 2007, 03:51 AM)
Hi
Before perimenopause started for me i was free spirited could do anything, go anywhere, do multiple things at once.
Now i am not free spirited, can't do anything before thinking about it, can't go anywhere with out being terrified, and do things one at a time.
But we must just carry on, we can't just stop living.
Before perimenopause started for me i was free spirited could do anything, go anywhere, do multiple things at once.
Now i am not free spirited, can't do anything before thinking about it, can't go anywhere with out being terrified, and do things one at a time.
But we must just carry on, we can't just stop living.
QUOTE (Boone @ Feb 9 2004, 03:26 PM)
Wow,
I can't believe we all sound so similar - it is somewhat comforting. It would be great to hear from the ones who made it out of this okay and are back to some sort of "normal". I want to know that things are going to be better!
I also was happy, healthy, athletic and full of energy. I was the one who was always arranging activities. I was the one at work that got everything done. I was the one who was always perky. I never went to a Dr. except for annual physicals. Then when I was almost 41 - perimenopause hit me. Of course I didn't know what it was - also went to the hospital with anxiety attacks, etc. - even went to Mayo Clinic. They also put me on antidepressants which never really worked and had lots of side effects. They said I must have had some sort of virus that caused the problems - ha!
Since I have been to lots of doctors, a psychiatrist and a counselor. Most agree its hormones - but don't have a magic solution to cure me. I have been trying natural HRT - but am still on an emotional roller coaster a lot of the time. I may try antidepressants again.
I still try to keep my life somewhat normal - but most people know I am going through a bad time.
I do believe that this will get better!! But I would really like to know when!!
I haven't given up yet!!
I can't believe we all sound so similar - it is somewhat comforting. It would be great to hear from the ones who made it out of this okay and are back to some sort of "normal". I want to know that things are going to be better!
I also was happy, healthy, athletic and full of energy. I was the one who was always arranging activities. I was the one at work that got everything done. I was the one who was always perky. I never went to a Dr. except for annual physicals. Then when I was almost 41 - perimenopause hit me. Of course I didn't know what it was - also went to the hospital with anxiety attacks, etc. - even went to Mayo Clinic. They also put me on antidepressants which never really worked and had lots of side effects. They said I must have had some sort of virus that caused the problems - ha!
Since I have been to lots of doctors, a psychiatrist and a counselor. Most agree its hormones - but don't have a magic solution to cure me. I have been trying natural HRT - but am still on an emotional roller coaster a lot of the time. I may try antidepressants again.
I still try to keep my life somewhat normal - but most people know I am going through a bad time.
I do believe that this will get better!! But I would really like to know when!!
I haven't given up yet!!
I was just wondering since you posted this subject several years ago has anything changed? I am so looking for someone who has been through all this and can let us know if we will ever come through this. ///wet noodle
QUOTE (Dearest @ Jan 27 2004, 08:08 AM)
Many of us never really thought much about menopause prior to "being there." And, if we did think about menopause before, it was likely that we thought it would be the end of our periods - and nothing like what it actually is.
As most of us know by now, menopause can be a time of difficult physical, emotional and spiritual changes - changes in temperament, changes in the way we react to everything we're feeling, changes in the way we interact with others - changes in our personalities.
At the same time, a common phrase I've used and believe in is, menopause doesn't happen in a vacuum. We were many things before perimenopause reared its ugly head -- some of us with certain temperaments before any of this started. Some of us always tolerated pain well. Some of us may have lived with more anxiety than the average person. Some of us may have been prone to depression. Many of us had/have more problems in general than the average person before menopause started. Some of us may have had marital difficulties prior to menopause.
One thing that's crystal clear to most of us is that menopause exacerbates ALL the pre-existing problems that existed before the perimenopausal years.
What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember as compared to who you are now.
Thanks
Dearest
This is my first post/reply on this site.... I was diagnosed yesterday as being "in menopause".... my doctor offered me Prempro .625, but I am kind of afraid to take it.... my Mother had breast cancer after taking Premarin for many years.... I am having some hot flashes and all of the vaginal symptions I have read about.... my question is "what will the HRT do for me?".... will it help these symptoms and the emotional and nervous symptoms?.... my friends tell me it made them 100% better.... and do I really NEED the hormones my body no longer produces?.... is there any natural or alternative therapy that will help just as much as the HRT??.... I have so many questions before I make a decision.... is this the right place to get these answers?? I would like to hear from other women who took Prempro and how it made them feel better generally.... I also am having the dryness and problems with intercourse.... anyway, if I'm at the right place, someone let me know and maybe answer some of my questions.... Thanks!
Hello everyone!
Before peri I had no boundaries. I had an abusive childhood that carried through to adulthood. One vicious, sick cycle that never ended. I would let people walk all over me becasue I was so desperate for their love. A few years ago, I finally cut off ties with my abusive parent and entered therapy. Now I have boundaries and a "do or die attitude." Either I change now or end up a bitter old lady. Now the people who loved me then, still love me (in fact I feel like they love me more) and I am beginning to love myself! The physical problems, especially exhaustion (I used to be so energetic it annoyed people) but psychologically I think I am finally a happy person.
I was telling my therapist about how I laid everyhting on the table for my husband recently and told him what I wanted from our marriage and asked him if he was in or out (even typing this I can't believe I did that). I said "I think I am having a nmid-life crisis!" and his response was "Thank God!"
Love,
Daisy
Before peri I had no boundaries. I had an abusive childhood that carried through to adulthood. One vicious, sick cycle that never ended. I would let people walk all over me becasue I was so desperate for their love. A few years ago, I finally cut off ties with my abusive parent and entered therapy. Now I have boundaries and a "do or die attitude." Either I change now or end up a bitter old lady. Now the people who loved me then, still love me (in fact I feel like they love me more) and I am beginning to love myself! The physical problems, especially exhaustion (I used to be so energetic it annoyed people) but psychologically I think I am finally a happy person.
I was telling my therapist about how I laid everyhting on the table for my husband recently and told him what I wanted from our marriage and asked him if he was in or out (even typing this I can't believe I did that). I said "I think I am having a nmid-life crisis!" and his response was "Thank God!"
Love,
Daisy
OH MY!! I am not even the same person I was 10 years ago!! I almost couldn't care less what people think about me now. Use to be that I was compelled to "step it up a notch" if I even felt like someone was not happy with me. Could never do enough, be enough. I am so NOT like that now. I thought I had lost the ability to love or to care about people, but I think I've just begun to learn that it's ok to take care of myself too. I'm not expected to give and give and give til there's nothing left of me. I can require a little something of others too. I'm sure there's a lot more, but enough said at this time. Very good question. Thanks for asking.
bev
bev
QUOTE (magnolia1 @ Aug 8 2007, 12:57 PM)
This is my first post/reply on this site.... I was diagnosed yesterday as being "in menopause".... my doctor offered me Prempro .625, but I am kind of afraid to take it.... my Mother had breast cancer after taking Premarin for many years.... I am having some hot flashes and all of the vaginal symptions I have read about.... my question is "what will the HRT do for me?".... will it help these symptoms and the emotional and nervous symptoms?.... my friends tell me it made them 100% better.... and do I really NEED the hormones my body no longer produces?.... is there any natural or alternative therapy that will help just as much as the HRT??.... I have so many questions before I make a decision.... is this the right place to get these answers?? I would like to hear from other women who took Prempro and how it made them feel better generally.... I also am having the dryness and problems with intercourse.... anyway, if I'm at the right place, someone let me know and maybe answer some of my questions.... Thanks!
I have changed a lot since I started feeling the symptoms of menopause. I used to be much more cheerful and outgoing--I think I had a great sense of humor. I was sure of myself--had definite opinions--actually cared about what was going on. Menopause has turned me into scaredy cat who doesn't care much about what is going on in the world. I seem more self centered--and much less sure of myself. I don't like to go out--I don't even like answering the phone. I do things now because I have to--I really can't think of anything I want to do. I've dropped my hobbies due to lack of interest. I just exist--and not very comfortably. I don't like me without estrogen. What a sucky system hormones turned out to be. If I had more energy, I'd be angry.
Miss Tibbs
Miss Tibbs
QUOTE (Dearest @ Jan 27 2004, 07:08 AM)
......................
What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember as compared to who you are now.
Thanks
Dearest
"Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
I'm a LOT more fearful now, but before the change began I had MANY female problems that were abnormal and/or that were caused by sexual abuse that nearly ended my life. These were terribly painful.
I'm more fearful now because I realize there are fewer years in front of me now than years behind. I'm mortal and those generations that preceding me are now fading or gone from this earth. They have 'passed the baton' and we now carry it.
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
I had to go a lot before, but there was an enormous period of time when I lived in extreme poverty and could not go. Last year, at age 59, when panic attacks began in heavier earnest than even before (I was also still on HRT) I was taken to the emergency room and then onward to many more doctors after many years. That experience left me even more bewildered, and terrified than I had been before. I apologize, but I do not believe I want to return to any of them and am at a point where I feel I might be better off living obliviously than to the horrific terror all those visits and tests generated.
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Yes, definitely, but after coming to this forum and reading what so many other women are reporting, I am learning to ignore many 'symptoms' that are clearly not yet killing me, or accepting them more as annoying.
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
I don't think I'm actually different now, but certainly more assertive. I was much more quiet and reserved before menopause began. I was more often than pretty shy, though never sexually inhibited. I felt that what wanted to say would be interpreted by others as foolish or an unimportant waste of their time. However, I had also been raised in the Near East (not in the United States) and women were not permitted to view men in the eyes nor permitted to speak. While I'm much more assertive, I am certainly NOT a challenge for some of the great women posting here....I greatly admire them and they are my heros!
First there is some of me that has not changed. I call it my "basic born bred Personality". I still laugh real easy, and can be gullable. But Lord yes, I go to the doctor a lot more than I used to. I fear everynight that I have some dreadful disease, may not wake up, scared to shower or bath because If I dropped over dead someone would see me naked; sometimes I am afraid to leave the house, and don't enjoy being around people as much as I used to. My patience has grown thin, and I have no tolerance. I had tons of tolerance. I get mad easy, I have aches and pains coming from no where, and I freak out. I now feel like I have lived to be almost 50 years old, and my life is not invinsible like I once thought it was. Time is shortening for my life due to age and I can not come to terms with it, part of me feels mentally like I am still that girl in high school, but my body changes are telling me I can't do everything I used to. So I am frightened. Reality isn't always an easy thing to cope with. It seemed like yesterday the kids were born, and now they are gone. I have more panic, anxiety, wondering if my purpose will never be known or figured out by me, and that I am wasting my life. Truly, I am thankful. For each day I wake up, I breath, and I can walk. What more could I ask for????
Everyone once came to me for confidence and reasurance, and now I am questioning every feeling, what was that zap in my head, what was that twitch in my face, why am I hot one moment so much that sweat drips down my legs and back, and the next minute I am fine. Why am I so tired? Why does work make me want to scream, am I going to lose control, I am holding it in so well that I think one day I will just scream at someone out loud. I dont know what a damn orgasim is anymore, I think I saw one happening on TV the other day but it was on "Happy Days". One thing that may be positive about this change, is that no one walks all over me anymore. And if you knew me and my past, you would know that I have been used and walked on, back stabbed, etc for most of my life by people I least expected. I played dumb and stupid and silly to win friends. I was known as the dingy one, the silly one, the gullable one, the one who could be malipunated so very easy. Well that never happens anymore, and I have lost friends because of it. Not to worry thought, they never really cared anyway, I was just easy to use for money, or loaning everyone everything they wanted. I was the life and laughter of the party. That is gone. Things look more serious to me now, I still laugh over and over at the same re run of shows, giggle with my husband and kids. But I dont' let myself out there anymore with anyone like I used to. I was an open book, now I am a buried treasure that will endure, that will get past this phase of life, and will come out a better person, finding my true self for the first time. If one doctor doesn't tell me what I think I have, I go to another, then another. Really gotta stop doing that. I don't feel as guilty over everything like I used to, I am too busy being mad. I was there for everyone, and now where are they for me?? No where. (family). I've gained weight, can't concentrate or remember as long as I used to, and tired of doctors looking at me like I am a wierdo. One doctor actually started closing his eyes as if to doze off while I was talking to him. But once again, apparently hormones are normal, everything is normal, you are fine, you are just stressed, just calm down, dont think about it. Tired of hearing that. I just dont' feel as nice as I used to. And that makes me feel sad.
Everyone once came to me for confidence and reasurance, and now I am questioning every feeling, what was that zap in my head, what was that twitch in my face, why am I hot one moment so much that sweat drips down my legs and back, and the next minute I am fine. Why am I so tired? Why does work make me want to scream, am I going to lose control, I am holding it in so well that I think one day I will just scream at someone out loud. I dont know what a damn orgasim is anymore, I think I saw one happening on TV the other day but it was on "Happy Days". One thing that may be positive about this change, is that no one walks all over me anymore. And if you knew me and my past, you would know that I have been used and walked on, back stabbed, etc for most of my life by people I least expected. I played dumb and stupid and silly to win friends. I was known as the dingy one, the silly one, the gullable one, the one who could be malipunated so very easy. Well that never happens anymore, and I have lost friends because of it. Not to worry thought, they never really cared anyway, I was just easy to use for money, or loaning everyone everything they wanted. I was the life and laughter of the party. That is gone. Things look more serious to me now, I still laugh over and over at the same re run of shows, giggle with my husband and kids. But I dont' let myself out there anymore with anyone like I used to. I was an open book, now I am a buried treasure that will endure, that will get past this phase of life, and will come out a better person, finding my true self for the first time. If one doctor doesn't tell me what I think I have, I go to another, then another. Really gotta stop doing that. I don't feel as guilty over everything like I used to, I am too busy being mad. I was there for everyone, and now where are they for me?? No where. (family). I've gained weight, can't concentrate or remember as long as I used to, and tired of doctors looking at me like I am a wierdo. One doctor actually started closing his eyes as if to doze off while I was talking to him. But once again, apparently hormones are normal, everything is normal, you are fine, you are just stressed, just calm down, dont think about it. Tired of hearing that. I just dont' feel as nice as I used to. And that makes me feel sad.
What an interesting thread! I so enjoy reading others' posts about how their lives have or have not changed with menopause. I find that I am mostly the same person I was before, but there are issues I never expected and didn't know how to deal with. I never used to think about an ache or a pain...now I do give it a second thought occasionally. I have never been one to go to the doctor very often, and I go even less now! I am finally starting to understand that the majority of what I'm experiencing at 3-years post is very common and not life-threatening. It's comforting to read the thoughts and feelings of women who have experienced the same things in their lives and who can be so candid, open and honest about it.
I am 50.5 years old and started perimenopause one month ago. My husband and I were married three years ago after dating for two years. Its a second marriage for us both and from the time we started dating we were very passionate. I am still very attracted to him but have so many hot flashes that sex has become a chore or something that has to be coordinated between hotflashes which just seems to take something away. It seems my husband (as do so many men) just gets better looking as the years go by and for the first time in my life I'm feeling a bit insecure about my looks and my sexuality. He assures me that I'm "still the one" and I believe it. I think I'm just having a difficult time with symptoms of perimenopause.
We live in Sub-saharan Africa for his job so I do not have access to medical care on par with the U.S. As a result, I have found all of my menopause support online and by emailing girlfriends back home. I speedwalk for two hours six days a week and stay in reasonably good shape but still have severe hotflashes and chills. I don't drink caffeine or alchol, eat very few sweets and drink loads of water. I have hot flashes every half hour that last for about two minutes followed by about 15 minutes of severe chills - then I'm normal until the next flash. My husband is very supportive and we both have tried to see the humor in what I'm experiencing but sometimes it gets me down. I will be VERY happy when this perimenopause is over and I "reach the other side."
We live in Sub-saharan Africa for his job so I do not have access to medical care on par with the U.S. As a result, I have found all of my menopause support online and by emailing girlfriends back home. I speedwalk for two hours six days a week and stay in reasonably good shape but still have severe hotflashes and chills. I don't drink caffeine or alchol, eat very few sweets and drink loads of water. I have hot flashes every half hour that last for about two minutes followed by about 15 minutes of severe chills - then I'm normal until the next flash. My husband is very supportive and we both have tried to see the humor in what I'm experiencing but sometimes it gets me down. I will be VERY happy when this perimenopause is over and I "reach the other side."
What was I like before menopause started??
Well, I'd like to think I was at least halfway sane!!
Now, I'm all the way insane!!
bev
Well, I'd like to think I was at least halfway sane!!
Now, I'm all the way insane!!
bev
What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
[i]I'm definitely more fearful about health stuff now; seems there is always something new happening to try to figure out.
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
I faithfully went to the chiropractor after having been in several car accidents, but didn't go much to the MD. I still don't go often, but more than previously.
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
I think the anxiety has made me question whether there is something really wrong with me.
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
Because I had a hysterectomy at 45 (53 now), I don't know where I am in the whole process. but I would have to say I'm a very different person. Things do not roll off any longer. I am aware of every little thing and react to everything: heat, cold, noise, light, smells, CLOTHING TAGS, activity levels of others around me, motion. I feel like the princess in the "Princess and the Pea!" I am not as spontaneous, adventurous or any fun at all!
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
I think I was more fun to be around, more energetic and eager to try new things. I am so boring now, and too introspective.
I have blamed much of the way I feel now on circumstances in my life. I had been married for 14 years to an alcoholic. We had three children together, but an unhappy marriage. I divorced him and remarried a good guy, but my ex died within a year of my remarriage. My children had a very difficult time for quite a few years and I still carry guilt over the divorce. I have moved several times dues to hubby's job changes and do not live near family or friends. Our last move was just two years ago and I have found it very difficult at this point in time to make good friends. I don't have a support system like I had back home. My children are all out of the nest and living in other cities, so I don't see them often, but we do have good relationships. And the biggest whammie was my hubby's prostate cancer four years ago. He had to have surgery which left him with ED. None of the dr.'s solutions to the problem have worked and we have exhausted the alternatives. It has been a real blow from which neither of us has recovered.
So, a complicated emo stew. Now, menopause?? S$@t!![/i]
You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember biggrin.gif as compared to who you are now.
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
[i]I'm definitely more fearful about health stuff now; seems there is always something new happening to try to figure out.
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
I faithfully went to the chiropractor after having been in several car accidents, but didn't go much to the MD. I still don't go often, but more than previously.
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
I think the anxiety has made me question whether there is something really wrong with me.
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
Because I had a hysterectomy at 45 (53 now), I don't know where I am in the whole process. but I would have to say I'm a very different person. Things do not roll off any longer. I am aware of every little thing and react to everything: heat, cold, noise, light, smells, CLOTHING TAGS, activity levels of others around me, motion. I feel like the princess in the "Princess and the Pea!" I am not as spontaneous, adventurous or any fun at all!
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
I think I was more fun to be around, more energetic and eager to try new things. I am so boring now, and too introspective.
I have blamed much of the way I feel now on circumstances in my life. I had been married for 14 years to an alcoholic. We had three children together, but an unhappy marriage. I divorced him and remarried a good guy, but my ex died within a year of my remarriage. My children had a very difficult time for quite a few years and I still carry guilt over the divorce. I have moved several times dues to hubby's job changes and do not live near family or friends. Our last move was just two years ago and I have found it very difficult at this point in time to make good friends. I don't have a support system like I had back home. My children are all out of the nest and living in other cities, so I don't see them often, but we do have good relationships. And the biggest whammie was my hubby's prostate cancer four years ago. He had to have surgery which left him with ED. None of the dr.'s solutions to the problem have worked and we have exhausted the alternatives. It has been a real blow from which neither of us has recovered.
So, a complicated emo stew. Now, menopause?? S$@t!![/i]
You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember biggrin.gif as compared to who you are now.
QUOTE (Dearest @ Jan 27 2004, 07:08 AM)
Many of us never really thought much about menopause prior to "being there." And, if we did think about menopause before, it was likely that we thought it would be the end of our periods - and nothing like what it actually is.
As most of us know by now, menopause can be a time of difficult physical, emotional and spiritual changes - changes in temperament, changes in the way we react to everything we're feeling, changes in the way we interact with others - changes in our personalities.
At the same time, a common phrase I've used and believe in is, menopause doesn't happen in a vacuum. We were many things before perimenopause reared its ugly head -- some of us with certain temperaments before any of this started. Some of us always tolerated pain well. Some of us may have lived with more anxiety than the average person. Some of us may have been prone to depression. Many of us had/have more problems in general than the average person before menopause started. Some of us may have had marital difficulties prior to menopause.
One thing that's crystal clear to most of us is that menopause exacerbates ALL the pre-existing problems that existed before the perimenopausal years.
What I'm interested in having you all share is basically - when you introspect about who/how you were before and who/how you are now, what are the differences?
Have you become more fearful since starting your changes, or were you fearful prior to menopause whenever you had an ache or pain?
Did you go to the doctor a lot before menopause started, rarely - do you go more often now?
Do some of the severe symptoms of menopause cause you to think you may be having a stroke? heart attack? or developing some horrific disease?
Has menopause itself changed you and/or created a personality different from the one you had before?
None of this is meant to be judgmental in any way -- but to gain some insight into who and how you were before all this started and who and how you are now?
You don't specifically have to answer these questions, but just share who you were before -- if you remember as compared to who you are now.
Thanks
Dearest
dearest:
i was super woman b 4 meno . did all 4 everyone else . totally fearless . didn't give palps or pains a second thought . now i go no were alone , cry a lot have anxiety daily , have horrible thoughts , feelings of dread and death, yes think my heart will stop , yes think i may have a disease drs can not detect , i only just started driving again after a year , but never alone , yet !!!!! however i do appreciate life more . no matter i just want out and thru with this nightmare .
mookiehantamom@yahoo.com ( roxanne age 49 mother of 5 33 thru 15 )
Sometimes i can hardly remember who i was before meno. All i know is that I definately wasnt who I am now.
I used to be a free spirit going with the flow and now i have anxiety all of the time. I am constantly worried about everything. I was always in fairly great shape and never had any ailments... now i am in pain all of the time and i just always seem to be sick. ugh!!
Being as young as I am (21) I feel more seperated from others my age. It feels like i have nothing in common with them. Of course thats not true but thats the way i feel.
I know that i will soon be ok and I am trying to be strong for myself. I need to do some major life style changes, it would have been nice to of had more planning time for this midlife crisis.
This site is going to be my cruch for a little while, i am greatful to have stumbled upon it.
thank you ladies.
I used to be a free spirit going with the flow and now i have anxiety all of the time. I am constantly worried about everything. I was always in fairly great shape and never had any ailments... now i am in pain all of the time and i just always seem to be sick. ugh!!
Being as young as I am (21) I feel more seperated from others my age. It feels like i have nothing in common with them. Of course thats not true but thats the way i feel.
I know that i will soon be ok and I am trying to be strong for myself. I need to do some major life style changes, it would have been nice to of had more planning time for this midlife crisis.
This site is going to be my cruch for a little while, i am greatful to have stumbled upon it.
thank you ladies.
Before menopause..... I was full of energy, (maybe too much) loved to go, to do, and a bit of a brat. I enjoyed pulling pranks on people: putting 'For Sale' signs in my neighbors yard for his ornaments (he asked for it first), making prank calls to my friends (I'm sure they asked for it too) and hiding behind doors to jump out and scare my dh (we all know he had it coming!) Now I fear upsetting anyone, and it takes to much energy to be a brat. Most of my energy now goes to pulling weeds to work out my anxieties; my gardens, my daughters gardens, and on bad months, even my daughter's mother in law's garden.
I was inventive: drawing, painting, decorating the house, explored in cooking and baking, sewed cloths for my kids even though I was not experienced at sewing, helped my dad and dh work on cars..... can't was not in my vocabulary. Now I worry I will mess the pattern up by just cutting it out. In all fairness, I do believe I lost a lot of love of cooking when the doctors started telling dh and I all the things we should no longer have. I still do a little tole painting and some quilting.
Loved camping, horse back riding, fast cars, and playful dogs. Now I would rather enjoy the back yard (uneasy about getting out and about), horses are too jaring, safety counts over fast when in the car, and instead of running and jumping with the dogs, I stay stationary and throw the ball for the dog to retrieve. Again, I can't blame all of this on meno, I have RA and I have had intestines removed during two different surgeries (believe I have 6 ft left). Each of these factors put some limits that you didn't have before.
When I first noticed I was getting more serious and irritable, I thought it was because I was working outside the home, raising daughters, and still doing my wifey and mommy duties while keeping the house and cooking up. When I started having night sweats and asked the doctor about it, he said I was to young to be going through a change. The next hit was the hot flashes and I was getting impatient. I didn't mind helping people at work or at home but I didn't want to repeat myself, so listen and learn the first time. I noticed I was going into my dark closet more often and shutting the door behind me!
On a good note: my cycles were hard hitting; I flowed hard, I cramped hard and I could bite bullets in half. During the week prior, I was totally unstable and the week after, I was totally depressed. (If I remember correctly.) I no longer have to endure the cramps or heavy flowing, and my mood swings are not as intense. I can now tell when my mood slumps in a direction that is not beneficial to me or my family and I take the time to care for me. I now realize that I have to see to the needs of my body and mind before I can take care of the one's around me. (Thanks to what I have learned on this site!)
Now I fear upsetting anyone, and it takes to much energy to be a brat. Most of my energy now goes to pulling weeds to work out my anxieties; my gardens, my daughters gardens, and on bad months, even my daughter's mother in law's garden.I was inventive: drawing, painting, decorating the house, explored in cooking and baking, sewed cloths for my kids even though I was not experienced at sewing, helped my dad and dh work on cars..... can't was not in my vocabulary.
Now I worry I will mess the pattern up by just cutting it out. In all fairness, I do believe I lost a lot of love of cooking when the doctors started telling dh and I all the things we should no longer have. I still do a little tole painting and some quilting.Loved camping, horse back riding, fast cars, and playful dogs. Now I would rather enjoy the back yard (uneasy about getting out and about), horses are too jaring, safety counts over fast when in the car, and instead of running and jumping with the dogs, I stay stationary and throw the ball for the dog to retrieve. Again, I can't blame all of this on meno, I have RA and I have had intestines removed during two different surgeries (believe I have 6 ft left). Each of these factors put some limits that you didn't have before.
When I first noticed I was getting more serious and irritable, I thought it was because I was working outside the home, raising daughters, and still doing my wifey and mommy duties while keeping the house and cooking up. When I started having night sweats and asked the doctor about it, he said I was to young to be going through a change. The next hit was the hot flashes and I was getting impatient. I didn't mind helping people at work or at home but I didn't want to repeat myself, so listen and learn the first time. I noticed I was going into my dark closet more often and shutting the door behind me!
On a good note: my cycles were hard hitting; I flowed hard, I cramped hard and I could bite bullets in half. During the week prior, I was totally unstable and the week after, I was totally depressed. (If I remember correctly.) I no longer have to endure the cramps or heavy flowing, and my mood swings are not as intense. I can now tell when my mood slumps in a direction that is not beneficial to me or my family and I take the time to care for me. I now realize that I have to see to the needs of my body and mind before I can take care of the one's around me. (Thanks to what I have learned on this site!)
I look back at myself and I don't know who that other person was . . . it's a very strange feeling, like I have no idea on earth who I was, what I was like or who I am now or
what I'm like now. The only way I can put it is that often I just don't feel real to myself . . .
I do know I am much more fearful now -- of doing new things, changing jobs, etc, etc. Suddenly I feel like I can't do anything, I used to be quite confident in many ways
but now I'm lost, I feel very ungrounded and unsure.
Re doctors and illnesses etc, now I'm always scared that I have a fatal disease or that I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack. I don't even go to the doctor
because I'm too anxious about going.
There are positives though -- I think that before I did alot of things because they were expected, or to be liked, or to get along with people, or to be respected etc etc. --
I look back and sometimes think was I just a robot, did I do everything to please my parents or my friends or my boyfriend etc
Now I sometimes see (in my lucid moments which are few but at least they're really strong and clear) that I'm changing without even realizing it -- I am finding out what I really
think and what I really care about and don't care about etc etc etc -- now I am caring less and less of what other people think. I feel silly for saying this because I'm almost
50 but it's only now that I strongly see that I only have to follow my own values, beliefs, wants, I can just be who I am rather than looking to anybody or anything to tell me who
I am or who I should be. Problem is how do I follow myself if I have no idea who or where or how myself is It's a gong show on my planet definitely.
cheers
Jocelan
what I'm like now. The only way I can put it is that often I just don't feel real to myself . . .
I do know I am much more fearful now -- of doing new things, changing jobs, etc, etc. Suddenly I feel like I can't do anything, I used to be quite confident in many ways
but now I'm lost, I feel very ungrounded and unsure.
Re doctors and illnesses etc, now I'm always scared that I have a fatal disease or that I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack. I don't even go to the doctor
because I'm too anxious about going.
There are positives though -- I think that before I did alot of things because they were expected, or to be liked, or to get along with people, or to be respected etc etc. --
I look back and sometimes think was I just a robot, did I do everything to please my parents or my friends or my boyfriend etc
Now I sometimes see (in my lucid moments which are few but at least they're really strong and clear) that I'm changing without even realizing it -- I am finding out what I really
think and what I really care about and don't care about etc etc etc -- now I am caring less and less of what other people think. I feel silly for saying this because I'm almost
50 but it's only now that I strongly see that I only have to follow my own values, beliefs, wants, I can just be who I am rather than looking to anybody or anything to tell me who
I am or who I should be. Problem is how do I follow myself if I have no idea who or where or how myself is
It's a gong show on my planet definitely.cheers
Jocelan
QUOTE (pwbear @ Jul 16 2007, 09:15 AM)
Hi all....I am new to this board but boy am I glad I found you all. I am the 50 yr. mother of 3 twenty something year old children and before all of this menopausal mania began I was a person who could and would do 3 or 4 things at once and then some. Now I am tired, irritable and just downright witchy most of the time.
I loved to travel and now you can barely get me out of the house. I have aches and pains, have developed allergies to medications and have the worse panic attacks that I have ever had. ( I have had attacks since I was 19) I am in therapy for the panic attacks and have seen my GYN and GP at least 20 times over the last 2 yrs. for everything from Fibroids to Xanax! I want to be the person I was 5 years ago but I guess that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I am amazed though at all the women who are saying the same thing. If we are all experiencing the same types of problems why is no one coming up with answers? I cannot take bc due to high blood pressure, and my GYN wants me to get through this naturally so I am dealing with it but there has to be a better answer somewhere for us all!!!
I loved to travel and now you can barely get me out of the house. I have aches and pains, have developed allergies to medications and have the worse panic attacks that I have ever had. ( I have had attacks since I was 19) I am in therapy for the panic attacks and have seen my GYN and GP at least 20 times over the last 2 yrs. for everything from Fibroids to Xanax! I want to be the person I was 5 years ago but I guess that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I am amazed though at all the women who are saying the same thing. If we are all experiencing the same types of problems why is no one coming up with answers? I cannot take bc due to high blood pressure, and my GYN wants me to get through this naturally so I am dealing with it but there has to be a better answer somewhere for us all!!!
I want to reply to this blog because sometimes hormones really really help, and you can manage the blood pressure with medication. Why should anyone tough it out when there is help available? I had a hysterectomy and had terrible menopausal side effects. I think I would have gone crazy without hormones at the time. Just want to help. Love, Lilyfields xo
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