I just got the hang of posting a reply. Sorry for the previous one. I just wanted to add that art has been a big boost for me personally. Back in 1995 I started taking drawing and painting classes at my local community college. It helped me get through each day. Was it easy all the time to put something down on paper--absolutely not. But, it helped me get things out when I could not talk with anyone or write in my journal. I have not been in any art classes since spring of 2000. Since then there have been months when I could not even get myself to pick up a pencil to draw. I let myself know that that was okay. I was and still am gentle with myself. I now have my own art studio. I am 58 years old, in post meno and have symptoms up the whazoo. I have met many wonderful women going thru meno since I have started my journey into art. We all have found a common healing ground and walk beside each other every step of the way. Any one of you CAN draw, paint, etc. We are created in the image of God and have His DNA in us. Thus, our inner drive to be creative in some way throughout our lives. So, ladies, go for the art--drawing, painting, etc. Myself, I love using various mediums in the same piece--ink, graphite, charcol, pastels--makes for some very interesting stuff. Collage is great also--helps to use all those articles, pieces of your written journals, color swatches of things--really cool creative stuff. Hope this encourages some of you to pursue the arts. It is an incredibly delicious journey despite the throws of menopause.

J

before all the peri?... hhmmm... well i know i probably had a better memory.... i cant remember... i think i had more hair..... other then the extra ones i grow on my chin and lip... sometimes my nose too...(ya think i am turning into a witch)... i never knew mascara ran as much as it does... seems that crying for no apparent reason shows the quality of makeup... rage... huh? well is that what this is?... i just thought it was me being like my mother( according to my hubby)... wait a minute.... i know i use to be 60 pounds heavier.. smoked 2 packs a day... and was a walking caffienne store... 7 grandes a day and about 8 mountain dew.... well i have quit all that... yes it has helped with alot of my peri symptoms.... but i think people thought that i was more fun 8 months ago..... oh well i now think i am more calm and in tune to what is going on around me....even though i have brain fog!!!! i like the new me... but sometimes i wish i didnt have the pains and aches and depression and all the anxiety... but when all this peri is done kicking my ass.... i will be ready for anything!!!!! love denise

Hi Jes80 - how wonderful you met with your online buddy and you connected in person - that doesn't always happen!
I know what you mean about not wanting to try - I have so much building up around me that needs to be attended to - but it is so time consuming and involves enthusiasm - most of which is used up with family events and goings on. Sometimes I think perhaps they need to go away for a week and then I can go crazy at home and get to everything - no matter what time of day or night - just upend the house and then start again. When they're all around me I just don't get a lot of time to start working on changes. Even my thoughts are interrupted constantly with their words. What is it with the kids and their Dad asking me what the time is, what the date is, when is this happening etc., - I now tell them my brain is worn out and they have to use their neurons to work things out - I am not a clock or a calendar or a diary! Sorry I raved just then - felt good.

Wow, great thought provoking question
Lets see, before meno I had energy to boot, working an 8 hour day, exercising, doing laundry, etc, etc. I was always working on some project or another around my sweet little aging house that I bought 9 years ago. My two daughters were active and I kept up with them most of the time.

Now.....I drag my butt through the work day (even cut down to a four day week), hardly have energy to go for a walk, and my house is unfinished project central. My motivation seems directly linked to me hormones, so what else is new?! But alas, lately I have glimpses of the old Micki, my energy rebounds and I am motivated to clean and organize as I once did and my house begins to feel and reflect my desire for peace and order.

Mood-wise, I like to say that I've "found my voice." Boy have I ever, especially in my relationships. Now I'm learning to be less judgemental and forgiving, not take everything so personal. Really, the journey through mid-life is amazing and has many lessons. I know once the dust settles, the symptoms abate, I will be that wise woman I am currently growing towards. Ta-da!

Before Menopause, I would worry about being somewhere and then starting my period...you know on vacation, swimming..couldn't plan anything around those period days. NOW, I don't have to worry about where I am at or when to plan my vacation. I am menopausal and my teenage daughter is going through all those things I used to worry about...she is a constant reminder of how things were before menopause. I hope that I can show her what menopause would be on a better note. I try very hard to control those mood swings, even though they are few and far inbetween. NO hot flashes before menopause and now I could use a fan where ever I go...pads? tampax? fan? In that order. In many ways I too feel quite liberated, I really wasnt so liberated before menopause. I am more about telling it like it is, not taking any crap from anyone and these signs are not about moods, they are about being liberated in who I have become...tolerance is less, but liberated is more. I kind of like the new me and feel as if I can do just about anything. The symptoms of menopause are always there, depends on what day they want to display themselves to remind me of my age or what era I am in my life. I am learning to take a few extra moments for myself and to do the things I enjoy doing today and not the things I used to do before menopause....I have changed and with menopause, I changed again. They say change is good...I think I am starting to beleive that. In the meantime I will continue to watch my daughter through my own eyes and relive life before menopause....and with menopause I will show my daughter that hey!!! it isnt too bad because a few good things became of it....take what you have and turn it into somthing good for yourself. I will deal with the Hot flashes, the night sweats, the achy joints and muscle aches but I am not going to let this stuff bring me down....I'll take a pause while I can and keep enjoying life.

onslow147

Just wanted to tell you tht I read your posts on this site, and that you seem so in touch with your feelings and thoughts. I am sorry that you are going through these feelings of not being what you used to be, but from the way that you write, I think you will come out on the other side as an even more beautiful person. I just wish it could happen faster for all of us.

anxiouslady

Takingapause

Bravo!!!!!

Wow, taking a pause - well said. I have a teenage daughter also - and I was a teenager when my mum went through the same things - made for some very volatile moments. I would love to hear more about women going through this with teenage daughters and how they're coping. My daughter and I have had a turbulent time - she had terrible trouble with her periods - bleeding constantly so we put her on the pill as her iron was so low and she had already suffered from glandular fever. Well she was on the pill for two years from age 14 to 16 and it was a struggle. She went through so many issues from being bullied to self hatred - also tried cutting herself. I was at my wits end when someone mentioned to me the pill can cause severe mental and emotional side effects. So began another online journey like this one where I discovered hundreds of girls and women who had major changes after going on the pill, many suicidal. We took her off it three months ago and it is a miracle - we have our girl back - full of mischief and love - I can't begin to tell you the change.
Obviously the pill really upset her hormones to the point where emotionally she became this absolute stranger - this brings me back to where we are - hormones are changing and causing emotional issues. After what I have seen with the pill I am trying to stay as healthy and natural as possible so I don't confuse the symptoms.
The other amazing thing is that my daughter can detect when I am having a hot flush - even when she's not looking at me or sitting right next to me - she says she 'senses' it. Wow would I like to know more about these connections women have!! Thanks again and thanks anxiouslady for your words.

Love Vicki

On the days when I get clarity about what matters I sometimes (only sometimes) make good decisions. On Thursday I decided to go take a train journey and visit my Mum and Aunt on her birthday. My sister came along and we spent the day with them. Just us four. The two older women 82 and 77 and the two younger 48 and 46. It was just the most fantastic time and the nicest day I've had for ages. We talked and laughed and reminisced and boy do they have stories on menopause which I had never heard but then I never asked! My mum went through the menopause without noticing because my Dad had died suddenly and the shock stopped her period........ she doesn't remember any particular symptoms because the time was one of grief and shock and it's difficult to separate them. My Aunt though had just the worst time, she remembers eventually getting some hormone replacement that came from cows ? Anyone ever heard of that? The thing is my Mum at 82 is much fitter and healthier than her sister who is 7 years younger and I can't help wondering if that's significant and if at the end of the day we need to keep it as natural as possible for future health? Any thoughts?

Isolde

Remember how you would get that "feel good" feeling after having a day that was really good, or after spending time with someone and you felt really good afterwards and it would last what seemed like a pretty long time??? It just made you feel good overall for quite a while!!!
It seems like to me that "feel good" feeling doesn't last as long anymore. It's doesn't hang around long enough to reflect on and keep you going like it used to. Doesn't seem to take long to fall back into that blah feeling. Can't seem to stay "charged" off the good feeling anymore. Does this make sense??

That's kind of where I'm at right now...just kind of BLAH feeling.

My mom is 78 and really doesn't remember how she was going through meno. I remember some of it....wasn't pretty at all. They say you can guage yourself by when and how your mom was!! Not sure if I really believe that or not. However, I do remember that my mom was about my age going through her journey. I have an older sister (6yrs), she's just about at the end of hers...but she hasn't had to deal with much stuff. So we're nothing alike. She has told me to keep my stress to a minimum....yeh...right....NOT likely with my job.

I often wonder if our personalities also have something to do with how we're gonna react to things during the meno journey!!!

Jes 80 - sorry you're feeling blah. I know that one! However, this feel good day happened when I had given up on life, love, friends, family etc etc etc. Life is like that. Just when you've given up something happens and it feels good. Hope you have a good day soon. Blah is only temporary. Look up and smile Good days happen when you're least expecting them. Be good to yourself and gentle with those around you so you are open when time decides its your turn ! Does that make sense? Isolde

I hear you Isolde...
Don't get me wrong, I do find some ways of getting out and enjoying myself some, its just that the "feel good" part of it doesn't seem to last as long as it used to. Maybe it IS because I'm older now and it won't be the same as it used to be...who knows...
I have some pretty good days for the most part, but the blahs do tend to hang around more than usual!!

Well....I'm sure glad that I found this board. Not too sure if it's peri or not but for the last several weeks I have been feeling lightheaded and a little off balance, I also get a period one month and then might skip the next month and then get two the next. I'm almost 45 so I figured maybe it's what happens just before menopause. It's also making my anxiety and panic a lot worse I had all kinds of tests done and they found nothing wrong. The doctor just suggested going on xanax or buspar. I'm afraid to take it though. Think I may have to though! I was sitting here at my computer and all at once I felt a change and then my ears started hurting and my neck felt week and my heart raced up and I felt flesh all over and now my head wont stop shaking and it's scary and annoying Has anyone else ever taken xanax or buspar? If so...did they do the trick?

Fluff, I've not taken any of those two. I've tried to find herb or suppliments that would help with my depression and axiety before turning to the doc for help. Just not ready to face the doc about this yet I think.
Anyway, I've been taking something called 5HTP for about 3 weeks now and it does seem to get me back on an even keal again. I will continue with taking this until it just doesn't work for me anymore!!

...and yes, it does sound like you're in the stages of Peri!!!

Thanks JES80 and I too have tried herbs but they don't seem to do much for me, at least not the way I want them to work I never heard of 5HTP. Maybe I will give that a try hopefully it will work for me as well. Anyways....I just hope that once I go through menopause all these scary symptoms just go away

Lets see what was I like before menopause. Happy, contented with my life with my children and husband.

Although I never received cramps when I was getting my period, which is a good thing. I never had a very heavy or light flow either. I used to be ummm bitchy towards my family right before I received my period.

For the past year my periods would be irregular. I would go 2 or 3 months with out having one then all of a sudden I have my menstrual for 8 days.

It has been about 3 months now that I have been getting hot flashes. It starts on my face, traveling down to my chest, arms, legs and I feel like I am on fire. It lasts about one or two minutes then I get a cold chill. then I would be fine for 20 min or so and then it would happen again. Its driving me crazy!

I do have headaches and dizzy spells. And since we are all girls here my sex drive has gone through the roof. I never felt this way before. It is all I think about.

Now I am feeling very emotional. I feel like crying and depressed. I try to stay calm with my children who are teenagers by the way. And instead get upset with my husband very easily.

Hopefully reading many of these posts I will have a way of coping with all the changes that my body is experiencing right now.

And thanks for taking the time to listen to what I had to say.

oops. Im new here and thank God I found you guys. I'm 49 and have always been a cheerful, self sufficient, mom and career woman and I am in good shape physically. I started in peri about 3 yrs ago with an occasional hot flash and a few missed periods. No big deal, I thought.
Its been almost one year now since Ihave had a period but am still getting new symptoms!!!
I started getting severe indigestion about a year and a half ago and ended up having my gall bladder removed. Fun!
My teeth have started giving me trouble, always perfect before. Yay!
I wake up sick in the morning sometimes almost like I'm pregnent (I was very sick with my pregnencies.)
But the very most recent symptom is the internal "jitters" that some of you talk about. What is that about!!!???? Its awful!! Its usually in the morning but can be all day. I have never felt so anxious and worried in my life. In the last 2 months I have worried that I had diabetes or some liver disease, since my stomach troubles sometimes end up in diahrea! I used to never worry. Anyway, long story short, I do not have diabetes or any liver disease! And my doctor, bless him, suggested zoloft for the anxiety and ativan for those days when I think I cant go to work I feel so crappy.
I have actually worried that I would have to quit work!! But the zoloft is helping with the jitters, which I think is the worse and I am beginning to feel better. The night that I discovered this board, up late and couldn't sleep, I cried in relief to know that I was not crazy and not alone. Thanks you guys!

Hearmom, that's exactly how I felt when I stumbled on to PowerSurge over four years ago. At first, I couldn't stop reading the boards, and couldn't believe that all of the things I'd been experiencing were not only the same for many other women, but were being discussed, openly and honestly! What a relief!

There are 34 recognized symptoms of meno, and those are posed on these boards in many different places. I've had the restless legs (and about 33 of the other symptoms), and I think this could be sort of related to the jitters you are having. The jitters could also be caused by anxiety--boy, I remember that! I'd sit at my desk at home to write some letters or some checks, and the anxiety and sweating were so bad I couldn't concentrate. No reason for it, either, except meno.

It's very common to worry about our health now, when we never did before. I didn't do this as much as worry about the safety of my loved ones. I had (still have) such a feeling of impending doom about my husband. I could get myself actually upset, worrying that he'd have a car accident. Talk about foolish. I learned to control this thinking a little by telling myself, to quote one of my good friends, "There is just as much of a chance that the outcome will be GOOD as BAD." She was right. My husband always gets home safe and sound, so I think, "You wasted all that time getting yourself worked up, and nothing happened."

Hi Guys, I'm new here, posting all over the place, I think. Before menopause -- Well, I was actually looking forward to getting older, believe it or not. My 20's and 30's had been stressful decades (children, bad marriage, school, career), and I recall being very happy on my 40th birthday (I even got a tattoo!).

My 40's had been my best decade, for the most part. My adolescence had been miserable (I was a melancholy, surly, withdrawn, anti-social wreck as a teenager), and I always felt life was getting better and better, not worse. Plus, my own mother had locked herself in her bedroom and cried all day on HER 40th birthday, and I vowed I wasn't going to behave like that (hence, I went out and partied, and tattooed myself, LOL!).

I stopped having periods when I was 48 years old. Before that, they had been irregular for about 2 years, so I was overjoyed to be through with that nonsense! And I had not experienced any bad physical symptoms whatsoever. I had felt Hot Flashes occasionally, but they were simply sudden warm flushes, no sweats, nothing bad at all. My teenage daughter (the only child still left at home) said that maybe my excitement about growing older was the very reason I wasn't having any physical problems with it.

Hmmmmm. Don't tempt the Gods, and all that. Because, at the age of 50, my body decided to go haywire. After 2 years of no periods, I started again. Not only that, but it seems like I have every symptom a person could think of (except the Hot Flashes -- for some reason, that isn't happening again, and was never bad in the first place).

Probably the weirdest thing for me (besides having periods when I shouldn't be having periods) is my sleep cycle. I've never been an energetic person, even when I was a young girl (lazy might be a good word to describe me, but I won't.....). Plus, I work part-time doing 12 hour night shifts in a hospital. 7 pm to 7 am. But I've always been able to cope with working nights, sleeping a bit during the day, and never worried about it. I knew that some days I would feel like a slug, until I felt rested enough to tackle any projects for the week.

But now -- I'm even more fatigued and slug-like than ever! I can't stay asleep when I sleep, and I can't stay awake when I'm awake. I worry about going into work, knowing I have no guarantee that I will be rested enough to do a good job. Add to that the fact that once again I'm having to haul tampons and pads in a large shoulder bag to the workplace with no idea whether I'll need them that day or not. Blech, I thought I was done with this!

So, instead of bragging that I'm Post-Menopausal and glad of it, I now find myself being Peri-menopausal with a vengence. Good grief!

Hi, it's me again (can't sleep, remember?

I was sitting here thinking about how our hormones vary so much from one another, and how we probably experienced our menstrual cycles differently from each other when we were young, and how that might influence what physical symptoms we experience when we go through menopause?

My biggest problem all my life was that I had heavy periods, especially on the second day. I didn't have cramps, and I didn't have PMS. During the times I was on birth control pills, my periods calmed down a bit. But I was always a 'super tampax with nighttime pad' user, especially the first couple of days.

And this heavy or breakthrough bleeding seems to be my cross to bear during my peri-menopause years. Once, when I was 43 years old, I bled way past 7 days, and had to visit the doctor for a hormone shot, and was back on birth control pills for 3 months before things calmed back down.

My daughters have not had these type of experiences. My oldest daughter would get terrible cramps, to the point of laying on the couch moaning with a heating pad on her tummy. Ibuprofen, herbal teas, Midol -- these were her constant companions. But her periods were light, and didn't last a full week like mine always did. She also suffered emotionally with the Depo-Provera shots when she was an adult, even to the point of being diagnosed as Bi-polar (but when the doctor took her off the hormones, her symptoms abated).

My 16 year old has occasional cramps, but nothing severe. Her periods are light, and last about 4 or 5 days.

Why I'm the bleeder in the family, I don't know, but I'm sure it has to do with hormone balances (or imbalances).

Similar to how we experience our pregnancies? I had no difficulties with pregnancy, other than occasional swollen feet. I'm very tall, so had lots of room in my torso to carry babies, I guess. I had all 3 children naturally, and don't have any horror labor stories to recount. But post-partum -- you guessed it, I bled like a stuck pig (even with breast-feeding, which is supposed to help the uterus to contract). For 6 weeks post-partum, I would try to stay home as much as possible (because I would pass clots at the most embarrassing times), and had no energy. I would be emotionally labile, and really wasn't fit to be around anyone, especially my family.

So, I'm thinking that of course I would have problems with breakthrough bleeding or non-stop bleeding at the age of 51? But not have horrible mood swings or hot flashes? (which I don't). I see a pattern here.

I was mixed. There were lots of times I was very cheerful. I had a great run of years from around 1994 to somewhere in 2002.

I was devastated in 2002 when after months of struggle we had our little cat (just turned 3) die of horrible cancer. (I thought maybe we shouldn't have forced him to struggle so. But he wanted to live. Even on his last day. Same thing with another cat a few years earlier. That little guy wanted to stay with us, too. He was an angel. Both were angels.)

In 2003 my father had a stroke and it's been hospital runs ever since.

So, a cheered myself up with wine. Did I know what I was doing? Yes and no. (I quit in September 06 when I got hit with a ton of meno bricks.)

I think I might have been a bit angry or something also before meno. I was quick to flare at given times (maybe it was pre-pre-meno? PMS?).

I'm really humble now. I realize there's nothing wrong with humility.

I personally think it's something traumatic that kicks it off!

I think it must come into play. Something traumatic or a bunch of stressful things where you haven't got time to recover in between. It's this latter situation that I felt. But, who knows.

I keep seeing references to peri or post menopause--what is it called when you're right in it now? Is that post? No matter how long it's been? Just trying to figure out the lingo used in here.

Hi Leslieanne,

I, too, was confused with these terms when I first started with all of the symptoms.

Peri is the time leading up to menopause, when you first start noticing differences in your cycles or just in your over all well-being. We all go through this differently----some have a harder time than others. Perimenopause may last several years---that is you may notice the symptoms for quite some time.

Post is once you have gone 12 consecutive months without a period and are "officially" in menopause. I hope this helps.

Have a good day.

Donna

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Hello

Before I entered into this stage of my life I definitely had a ton more energy than I do now. I got my periods regularly ever since my second son was born so I could count on when it'd be here. I was only overly emotional just before my period and I'd be tired only a few days before or during and I'd do nothing but want to sleep. I'd also get into cleaning mode too just before my period arrived. Now I haven't had a period since June 2006 but am achy and stiff, tired ALL the time, getting those hot flashes, night sweats off and on, not sleeping all that great (meaning I wake up often during the night even with a cpap). I get the stupid heart palpitations and feeling of fear even though I am not afraid. I get the fear of dying syndrome. I have always had mood swings (from the PMS days) but have done a really good job of controlling them. If I got overly testy I would take it out on an empty room and not the ones I love. Still do to this day. I get it out of my system.

Before I was a normal woman going about my daily routine. Enjoying my son and living life. The one bright side is the man I met going on eight months and enjoying the time we spend together. He is older than me by 8 years and experiences the hot flashes and moodiness too...woohoo!!! So he knows what I am going through.

Hi I read your post with interest. I am going to be 52 in August and I still have my monthly event every month like clock work. I too worry about the heavy bleeding and clotting. My Doctor said that she thought it was due to perimenopausal time in my life. I do seem to have the aches and pains you speak of. Let me know your thoughts

What was i like before menopause?
I was a happy,confident,energetic,strong,and balanced person! I hope to be that person again soon!
I'll keep praying

Hi Kimberly Ann....Sorry I keep missing you in the chat! I know what you mean about being all those things. And then this peri stuff hits. But keep your chin up my friend and it will all work out.

Deb

I guess to the world I was compliant yet miserable. Now, post MP I am just miserable. I can't be bothered to be compliant anymore all that did was make me MORE miserable.

Ditto.

Before I had lots of energy and mostly I always had things to look forward to. I had an excellent memory and laughed a lot more. Now, I procrastinate and never get anything done am always tired and can't remember anything.

Before menopause I was exercising almost every day and that made me feel happy and energetic.
Now after exercising (not even half of what I used to do) I will feel tired practically all day, like if I have climbed the Mount Everest!

Hi Everyone.
I haven't posted for a long time because I thought menopause was behind me. Then I had to go off estrogen after 5 years and I'm miserable again. I am having hot flashes. night sweats and anxiety again. I get a zapping feeling in my head just before the hot flash starts. So weird!
Anyway, I'll be 60 next month and I thought this was over. Anyone else having to go through estrogen with-drawal?
I use to be out-going, social, emotional, nuturing and just generally a different person than I am now. I have a fear of death that will strike in the middle of the night. I don't want to see anyone or plan anything. I feel like social obligations are a burden. I'm just not the person I use to be. On the other hand, I've become more independent, I value my time more and I love spending time with my Grandbabies. My husband of 40 years and I have a great relationship and I am coming to terms with my less than supple body.
I love solitude now and I don't seem to need a lot of company on a daily basis.
The jury is still out on which person I like best --but I think I'll have to learn to like the new me best!
Thanks to all of you who posted here. You made me feel a lot better.

Hi (((EILEEN))),

I'm surprised (and pleased) to see an old Power-Surge friend again! Sorry that it's under these circumstances, but you see that I'm still here too, after a couple stretches of being away.

So sorry you're contending with the same stuff again, and I pray you'll feel better soon.

I know what you mean about the "pre"-menopause us versus the "post"-menopause us. We aren't the same for what we've gone through, are we? There are some losses, but as you point out, there are some real joys in having given up some of the things we thought were soooo important in the past.

Hugs to you, and may we both (and all of us here on P-S!) feel like our "true" selves soon.

JJ

Hi Jolie!
Thanks for the welcome support. Yes, it has been awhile since I've been here. I miss all of you!
I'm trying to be more positive about the good things that post-menopause brings. Some days it's not as easy as others --especially with my memory!
Anyway -- hope you are doing well. Thanks again for your sweet reply.
Hugs to you too!
Love, E.

Hello everyone!! I was outgoing and sociable and loved life and now all i want to do is hide and sleep!!!................Ive been sooooooooo down since this started, doc has put me on on anti deppressant, 6 days ago and i just wish for it to kick in!!!,,,,,I feel ashamed because I dont even want my family near me???.............oh, and a sick feeling in my stomach too!! My periods are very all over the place too!! I want ME back!!! Please help me find her!! ..............
Cheers ladies!! Sue xxxxxxxx

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I'm going mad -
I'm 42 menopause is just kicking in -
I'm paranoid, sad, angry, everything basically -
And I've just had a go at my husband and he's walked out....
I can't control it any more -
Not sure what to do -
I'd like to crawl under a rock and die

Help me please....

Jenny

You have just described ME jennyb!!!!
I scan sympathise...................truly........
Sue xxxxxxxx

can, not, scan, sorry xxxxxxxxxx

Jenny,

I think many of us can identify with what you are going through. For me, when I am at my worst with those I love, I ask myself, are my symptoms any better when I alienate the people I love, and if I die tomorrow, do I want them to remember me this way? I know its hard, and there are days when everything and everyone gets on my nerve (thank God this doesn't occur as often). My poor daughter gets the brunt of my anger at times and then I feel so bad and start crying... sometimes I think I am such a bad Mom.

Can you get any medical help? For me, I found a wonderful naturopath doctor that put me on numerous supplements and bioidentical hormones. While being on this regimen doesn't get rid of all the physical and emotional symptoms, all of them are far better and less severe.

I think you have come to the right place and all the ladies her are wonderful. Do take care.

Plumeria

what was I like before this all started. Had so much energy. With 3 boys I needed. Loved to play baseball with them practiced soccer. I would clean the house, cook, do laundry. And still keep up with everything life through at me. Now all I want to do is keep busy so I will not have to think about feeling anxious or worrying all the time the I am going crazy, I don't feel like doing anything when I come home from work. I want my old self back. So I can enjoy being with my boys

What was I like? Good question. Was I like my mother? My father? It's too easy to set aside the shy, introverted, darkly sarcastic, analytic, hyper-intelligent, easily bored, excruciatingly melancholy, predictably decisive person I am in private and embrace that created personality that can captivate a room. I certainly like her better. She knows a little about everything, but not too much. Always appropriately overdressed, never a scuff, chip, smear, stain or run. What about the corporate wife? She's pretty cool. Three different lengths of little black dresses. To bring a purse or not bring a purse. Hair up or down, near face or out of it. Stay a quarter of a step behind my husband, wait fo him to introduce me. Laugh at his jokes, touch his arm/hand/shoulder affectionately when he offers me a drink or a chair. What a lovely evening that was, darling. How about me as "mom"? That 20 year old pajama set with the teddy bears in sailboats...that's a sexy number. Saturday morning pancakes, 1:00 a.m science projects, projectile vomit, cloth diapers...yes, I used cloth diapers...pureeing whatever I can get my hands on when there's nothing in the house for a baby to eat. Wednesday night concoction night. Tae Kwon Do, Guitar Lessons, Gymnastics, snakes, turtles, guinea pigs, driving lessons...
I know I'm just getting started with this menopause thing. I'm all too aware I'll not be near the warrior goddess I am now in ten days when I'm bent into a pain and depression induced prenatal ball in my bed, wishing the world would stop spinning so I could be hurled into space... I'm not near as patient, not near as longsuffering, not near as humble and not near as agreeable.
I'm experimenting with confrontation. I'm trying out open mindedness. I've even unleashed my hyper-intelligence... I haven't said grace before dinner in a week and I haven't choked yet! I'm thinking for, standing up for and looking out for MYSELF because nobody has so far, and nobody seems to be going to in the near future.

Wii, your short entry says so much! I was addicted to compliance until this past Christmas. I still struggle, but it's geting easier. I would do absolutely anything to avoid a confrontation or disagreement. I would go hungry, thirsty, hot, cold, sleep deprived... I would never eat the last serving of something, or take the last seat available... Without going into it, I made a decision that I would spend Christmas alone with myself and my cats before I would endure another "awkward" Christmas across the table of fellowship with my sister-in-law's estranged, rude, foul mouthed, arrogant, lazy, verbally and physically abusive husband. Ten plus years of this...I was done. I told my husband my plans to not join in the "festivities". I told him that every one was welcom to come to OUR house and enjoy a fun afternoon of eating, visiting, games lots of fun. The short of a very hurtful story is, they - my in-laws - declined my invitation to a special dinner and activities and called me "Quirky" among other things. When my husband asked me why I was "having such a hard time". I knew I'd finally hit a nerve. I was looking out for me. I wrote MY NAME on my restaurant leftovers and told my family whoever ate this would suffer!! I am becoming the woman I'd always wanted to be.

Hi everyone. This is all very new to me. I was just told yesterday my by ob/gyn that I have entered the door to peri.

It came out of no where. Basically 30 days ago (coincidentially 1 week before my 53rd birthday), I woke up 8 nights straight multiple times per nite drenched in sweat. That stopped as abruptly as it started, and then I started having buzzing and whoosing sounds in my head at nite instead. That went away and next came feeling lightheaded/dizzy off and on thru out the day. That went away, and then I would notice my feet felt tingly/ or my arms and hands. I'm not sleeping straight thru the nite like I have done my entire life. I've never been moody or emotional. A stupid tv show can make me feel like I'm going to blubber......how embarrassing! My memory and thinking has always been sharp and clear. Now I'm having trouble multi tasking. I'm tired now, but I had lots of energy and strength just alittle over 1 month ago.

I'm very fitness oriented, never smoked, and I drank alcohol once in a blue moon. I've never had weight issues, and I rarely ever taken medication. I think I've had an antibiotic maybe 4 times in my entire life. I have always been very very healthy. No colds, flu, stuff like that.

So, I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now. Each morning/day and evening seems to bring some strange new physical sensation.

My dr drew blood yesterday, basically checking out my entire metabolic panel, CBC, thyroid, and FSH and estri something. I had a terrible night last nite. Woke up 3 times with my heart racing. I thought how weird........ I have an aerobic heart rate, and I'm not exercising!!!!! UGH!

Yes!!! Exactly!! My energys gone outta the window and my iinsomnia is every nite now!! Dizziness, lightheadedness, palps, sickness, etc etc.....................all these things just seemed to appear overnite???...................Or, does it just happen overnite??? Maybe this has been creeping up on me and I dint want to take any notice???
Any ideas???
Sue xxxxxxxxxx

Hi ladies,


Yep, that's how it all happened for me too....OVERNIGHT! From what I've been able to pick up from a lot of the women here, that's not unusual, so, join the club. Yeah, I used to be a normal person, now I feel so abnormal. I too want to just hide, and sleep. I'm afriad to wake each morning, afraid of what I'll find today! Since January I've been through hell, literally. Every single day brought something new, and scary. Like an onslaught. I never in my life thought this would happen, I htought the "change" came slowly...HA HA HA...yeah, right. Where did I get that idea from? TV maybe? but, for me, and apparently lots of women here, it came overnight. In one way, I've changed drastically, and yet, in some ways, I like the change. I am much more stressed out now, much more nervous about my health, much more fearfull of death, and having anxiety attacks all the time. I've never had to rely on drugs, now I have to take xanax daily! This really has been depressing. I was never "miss energy", but this lack of energy now, is ridiculous. Things I used to like, I don't now. I've lost interest in so many things. I too get the dizziness, palpatations, head pressure.....etc......and they seem to come on like an avalanche! No time to catch your breath.

I can remember the person I used to be, and I miss her. I wish she'd come back.......................

Sincerely, MyDarling

To MyDarling and sisters in menopause, I am just trying to cling on to the memory of what I was like before my ovaries started to shut down over two years ago at age fifty. I am angry that all of this has hit me when I feel I had, over the years hit my peak in terms of confidence. Now I feel I am travelling backwards whereas before I was travelling forwards, if that makes any sense! I have to remind myself that it is the cascade of hormones that come into play that are causing all of these very unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms. With me it happened with a big crash as I hit my final period. I looked in the mirror and it was like aging very quickly in a matter of months. I am still looking for the answers because I dont want to be like this for the rest of my life. I want to know what the secret is with these women who never seem to change, women on the political stage for instance, I am intrigued how they keep going at such a high level - why dont they let us in on their secrets or are they just darned lucky? Thanks for the support of this wonderful site. Simba 2, U.K.