Virgo, I hear you, as I've put aside many former projects. I remember, about decade ago, the UPS man, mentioned that I was always smiling, while driving to sales calls. Today, I don't work, and if a UPS man passes me, I'd likely be having a crying jag. These have been fun times.NOT

I am so grateful for these posts. I could have written many of them, and it is great to know that I am not alone. Hopefully, I will be able to walk off these added ten pounds! Before perimenopause, I never worried about my weight. Now I have had so many other problems on my mind that my growing butt has not been a priority. I wear my shirts untucked:

hey everyone, i sure was glade to hear that i wasn't the only one that feels like her life is gone and anotherone is taking it's place, which i guess we r all a little scared of change,especialy when u don't know if it will all be foe the better. thank u for for leaving those board letters they made me feel like i'm not so crazy or at least not alone anyways and these feelings r normal.i'm gonna go to the i can't sleep section,lol, so maybe i can learn how to do this 4 once. thank u

I used to like to get out and about, visiting things of historical interest. I worked full-time outside the home - in a sales team with other ladies of varying age, then second parent died and husband had H.A in his early forties. I had trouble with anxiety and left job. Had irregular and heavy periods for a while. Now work from home, rarely see anyone. Only outings are local supermarket and even then things have to be just right for me to go. Haven't been on a proper holiday for 2 yrs, because now I can't leave home (long story behind this/or excuses). Totally miserable and anxious - getting lots of anxst from offspring who thinks I should get help (convenient happy pills, so i can sort out her life for her) -and have been told by husb that the Claire Weekes books are obviously not working and our life and home is miserable. Also used to do lots of crafting/crocheting/reading but now only like books with pictures!

Alice, I know exactly what you mean--except i didn't have a job outside being a stay at home mom... but going to the store was a difficult thing for me--that will be 2 years in july---and i have been so much better--actually "almost" normal--- but we are planning on going to colorado on vacation in a week and i normally would be so excited--i am beginning to get anxious about that---and i don't want to.... i want to ENJOY it-- i just want to enjoy anything at this stage of the game. I'm trying to make lists--writing all my thoughts or plans down so i can "see" them and maybe they won't overwhelm me. Just thought i'd throw my 2cents worth--and maybe writing it out and seeing it ----it would help me deal with what i'm going through right now. take care melody

I must admit Melody, I have been anxious about holidays for a number of years. Mainly cos husb is self -employed and works so hard to be able to take time off - he had a HA 6yrs ago at 43. We've even dropped things off at clients homes on the way to the cross Channel ferry! However, one year when I had an anxious time,couldn't lay down to sleep without a panic attack, seeing a community psychiatric nurse for PA's, I actually went abroad and had a great time. Since then we've had lots of trips abroad but recently anxiety has caused me diarroea and stomach upsets and now I'm scared to go too far in case. My friend, recovering from breast cancer has just had a city trip but had sickness and dia. (husb too) while away but coped OK. Just telling me about it I felt wierd all evening and had to have a bucket by the bed! How stupid is that! Be brave Melody. Go for it, don't let the 'what if's ' creep in and stop you from doing things, even if you need a little help from a pill. I sometimes find that half a travel pill (such as a sealeg) helps to dull the anxiety but don't take too much of anything that will stop you experiencing life....like enjoyment! We deserve it!

I am new to this site, I just found it yesterday. All of your posts are interesting and I identify with so many of you. The good thing is that I don't feel as alone anymore. Misery loves company? I have been easing into perimenopause for some time (I'll be 45 this month). First it was serious PMS mood swings, then it was a shorter period cycle (used to be 28 days like clockwork...shortened to 21 to 23 days) Nothing too serious...but about 2 months ago I felt like I got slammed by a fast moving train. I am almost always on the virge of tears, I'm anxious about the future and often become "blue" about my pending decrepitude (sp?...is that even a word? lol) and so far this month it's been 31 days and no sign of a period..but lots of PMS symptoms. Like some of you who posted here, I am a single mom of teenagers who seem to need me less and less each day. Believe it or not I have been preparing for this transition for quite some time which is why I described it as "easing into". I quit smoking 9 years ago, became vegan 6 years ago...have read everything Dr. Weil and Dr. Northrup have written...lol I do yoga and work out with free weights. I've just returned to school, along with full time job, house and kids who need their own personal cab service. Oh yeah, they have one...me! Of course one of them will soon have his license...something else to worry about. I used to be able to balance everything...now I'm afraid that if these wacky moods continue I won't be able to accomplish anything. I am really trying to see this as a positive transition, but how do you get control of the out of control emotions? I'm just glad I found this site. I've been reading almost non stop since yesterday. I hope we all start feeling better soon.

decrepitude.. well if it's not in the dictionary it should be! It sounds like how I feel too. What a busy life you lead! I'm too tired to even have a social life! And as for being Misery's friend... I think this is more the place where Alien's come to meet as that's how I feel .I think I should have a pointy hat with a D for danger on it! This site has certainly made me feel a lot better! Have a good day!

Hi Alice, Did I forget to mention those little naps I take at my desk almost every afternoon? I've never felt this kind of tired before. And it always hits me at 3 p.m. Weepy and sleepy...that's me.Now that I have this website to visit, maybe I'll stay awake? You have a good day too..hey it's Friday!!!

Hi, I'm new here. I'm 48 and this last April my period started a week early and was the heaviest flow I've ever had. Lasted for 3 weeks, had lots of clots- then about 3 days before the end of the thrid week, it just trickled off like a normal period does and ended. (BTW- I wish they'd come out with a pad made for women who are larger than a size 6, and have given birth a few times! We need length, width, and it needs to be a heavy-duty pad- how about "Peri-Pad" just for that purpose?) I was pretty scared until I remembered what my pastors wife had told me years ago- that a very heavy period like that can mean the beginning of Menopause. I'm so grateful she told me that, and as soon as I remembered it I started searching the web and found that what I was going through was probably peri-menopause. Since April, I've had a period every month but this one so far- and each one has gotten smaller than the last. I wish my Mom had talked to me about menopause- but it's possible she didn't know much about it. My husband kept thinking I'd feel terrible during that three weeks, but actually I had more energy than I've had in a long time...my usual lack of energy due to the fact that my BP "Peaked" once while on a hospital treadmill, so they started me on BP medication right away- that was in '99. I hate what BP medication does to me- I guess it's time released, because every day about noonish I can barely keep my eyes open. I used to be a very energic person until I started that medication...and according to the Dr. that prescribed it, I'm taking a very light version of BP medicine. I've always wondered if the weird thing that happened to me just after my 14 yr old was born has something to do with this BP- hormone related maybe? When she was two weeks old, we went to the office for her check up. She started to cry and so did I- it was hard and uncontrolable. My poor husband sat there trying everything he could to get me to quit, but I just could not do it. This was my third child, so I knew about all the "post" symptoms of pregnancy, but there is no word to describe how bad this was. The doctor wasn't ready to come in yet, but poked his head in when he heard me crying. You should have seen the look on his face- it actually kind of made me laugh. He grabbed the chart from the door and came on in. I told him how I was feeling, so he gave me some kind of pill to take- I don't even know what it was because I didn't take it after the first time and got rid of it after I started taking the BP medication. The reason I only took it once is because when I did take it, my heart just about pounded out of my chest- and that really scared me. I didn't really have any more problems until two years later when I was pregnant with our son. (our other three are girls) My heart palpatated the whole time- in fact they did all kinds of tests on it BEFORE I even knew I was pregnant! Then, when I was six months pregnant, I woke up one day with a little itchy bump on my right index finger. Looked like a little blister but was terribly itchy- like a deep itch. I put some anti-itch on it, but that didn't help. The next day, the bumps had spread to my other hand, arms, legs, and part of my trunk. It itched so terribly I just couldn't stand it and called my GYN to ask what I could safely take for it. He told me to come in so he could see the rash. He didn't know what it was, and sent me to a specialist who delt with problems during pregnancy. By the fourth day, the rash had covered my hands, and legs. My finger joints were so swollen, that they curved in grotsque ways. The specialist examined me and said he had never seen anything like that before. The itchy blisters contained clear liquid, but hurt if you popped them. He sent me home with no hope, basically...told me to buy some oatmeal bath and soak in it. He, my GYN, and the heart Dr. I had seen early in the pregnancy talked and decided I was allergic to being pregnant with a boy. Hmmmmm...well at that point, I decided I really didn't care, just so long as I could sit in oatmeal all day- it seemed to help. I kept the lovely rash for six long weeks- the only thing that would keep it from itching was sitting in the livingroom with the window open, so the freezing cold air could get to sores. One day I woke up and the itching was completely gone. My hands, which were the worst, quickly began to recover with huge scabs where the little blisters had been. When the scabs fell off, you could see tiny grains, I guess where the liquid in the blisters dried up, and new pink skin. Strangely, the palpitations had stopped when I had that rash. After the birth of our son, my heart began to palpitate again, and I called the heart Dr. He told me it was just milk let-down that I was feeling. What an idiot. He knew I had 3 other children, and I KNOW what let-down feels like! He told me he was dismissing my case. I felt terrible and alone, so I turned completely to a higher source for answers and hopefully healing. It was 4 years after that time, that the BP medication was prescribed for me. My Mom has always told me that if anything weird in the hormone dept is going to happen- it will happen to me. Mine hormonal life has always been severe in one way or another. Sometimes I think I'll just stop taking my BP medication (slowly) so that I can have quality of life back. Dr.s don't want to believe that your problems are hormone related...or they just push it to the side. For instance, the same Dr. that prescribed the BP medication, (which BTW did get rid of the palpitations for the most part- except when my period comes around), gave me a little slap on the knee and asked, "When do you want to have that thing taken out?", referring to my uterus, when I went in to ask him what I could do to get rid of the whiskers on my chin. The GYN I had during that rough pregnancy with my son just casually mentioned that he'd rather do abortions than by a OB/GYN- this was to my husband and while I was getting an exam. I'm never going to a male GYN again. I guess I blabbed all that stuff because I woke up at 3am this morning, and because I wanted to see if anyone else has had such weird things happen to them prior to menopause? Another thing is this: women HAVE to talk about menopause with their mothers, sisters, friends, other women. If my pastors wife hadn't told me what she did years ago, I would have freaked out when my period was so heavy. I found the most wonderful book in the world during my web search on menopause- "Menopause without Medicine" by Linda Ojeda, Ph.D. She is the neatest person- and the way she explains things makes them so easy to understand. I'm too pooped now to drag this text through spell check, so please forgive the mistakes, and the length. More later. Jacque

Welcome to Power Surge, Jacque! Your mention of Linda Ojeda, Ph.D caught my eye - she's been Dearest's guest in 3 different Power Surge Guest chats You can read her transcripts in the Power Surge Guest Transcript Library along with many hundreds of terrific guests. Welcom to Power Surge - I'm sure you'll find the help and support you need here.

Hi Jacque, Welcome to the power-surge sisterhood! I haven't had the BP problems you have, but did develop a similar-sounding rash when I had the flu this past January. Mine lasted a month. My doc had absolutely no idea what it was, or what to do about it. I also had the liquid inside, which eventually formed scabs, and then the areas where the scabs had been remained pink for another 2 months. Now everything is cleared, thank heavens. Mine were primarily on my torso, front and back, and on my front thighs. So strange! I'm coming to believe ANYTHING is possible due to hormones! Have you read the book by Dr. Elizabeth Vliet? (Sorry, forgetting the name of it.) It's about how hormones are related to just about everything in a woman's system. You may find some answers there. She has also been a power-surge guest, so you could read the transcripts in the archives. Good luck!

Having suffered depression and panic attacks since I was 21 my life has been a roller coaster. PMS was always a problem. I did find medication that helped me with my d and p. I am 45, have had 4 children. It seemed as I was in remmision from d and p for several years. I felt like a normal person. When I hit 35 things started changing. First I started with urinary tract infections for 5 years. I started itching all over, joints ached. At fourty my mom died. I found out I was pregnant 1 week after she passed. I have always loved children and was very happy about it. At 2 months I had a miscarraige. Depression got worse and the panic attacks started again worse than they had ever been. I could not eat, sleep and had anxiety and panic 24 hours a day. In 4 days I lost 10-15lbs. My husband had an affair, my sexual desire was not there (I have always struggled with that) I had not taken any medication for anxiety for 5 years and all of a sudden it all came full force at me. The medication I took before was no longer working. I got put on new med and started eating and sleeping again. At 42 my periods started changing. I would go every 2 weeks or every other month. At the moment things have been getting worse. I went 3 months with no period. D and P have started back. Hot flashes, I can not concentrate, it is hard to read. Spiritual life, I feel lost again. I have had a close relationship with God and do not have any desire to go to church or pray. I think over the last year I have taken 5 pregnacy tests all neg but 1. I had another miscarraige a year after the last one. My husband changed jobs. He has always been able to provide for our family. 2 years ago he took over a business that was going bankrupt. He put all our credit on the line. We are in a state of financial ruins. He is going to have to declare personal bankruptcy. He took out 10,000 dollars on my credit with out me knowing it. Total debt $30,000. He is now doing side electrical jobs and doing furniture repair. We have no steady income. We lost our health insurance. Relationship with husband is not good at this time. Do not communicate. He wants to move to the mountains and go to work at Walmart. I like ChrisCarol started back drinking to escape the pain. I did not drink at all after I started having children. Now the ages of my children are 23, 21, 18 and 15. They do not need me as much anymore. My role as a mother has changed some what. I know children are suppose to grow up. I guess my whole life has been taking care of the kids. They have been my life. Husband was never available. Never spent time with them. I was always the one who took them places and spent time with them. This has probably gone beyond menopause to mid life crisis. I am confused and having a very difficult time. It is like all the pain from the past has rushed over me like a tidal wave. Finding this site has given me a little hope that maybe in time things will get better. Having others to talk to helps a lot. Thanks for listening. eckc777

eck, Mid-life crisis or not, I believe things will improve once the hormones stabilize. You've had tons of stressful issues, plus a history of depression, anxiety and PMS. Having full time severe PMS, aka perimenopause is nightmarish, particularly when medication stops providing relief. The alcohol doesn't help, but I find myself drinking after a LONG TIME. I try and watch it and take tons of antioxidants. I guess I'm having an identity crisis, but my identity wasn't solely mother. I'm trying to lighten up, so I won't get too far into it. Anyways, hang in. I understand how difficult this transition can be. You do sound sad, so I wish you small glimmers of joy in your day.

Or as my shrink stated, "You only have to go through menopause once." And I'm certain he's seen plenty of forty something ladies.

Oh, and although my husband stopped womanizing and gambling ages ago, he is a workaholic. On his voice mail, at work, the recording states, "Joe Smoe is unavailable." I think, no duh, so was daddy. Oh no, that naval gazing again. The man is patient and was a decent father. I've always hated morning, he loved it, so that was his time with the children. Actually, considering his work hours, I'm glad I worked out that little deal. It gave them time with a dad, who never was a 9 to 5 man.

He'd also ran up a $150,000 in debt, playing the commodities market, over a decade ago. I was less stressed then!! I'm 47, he's 59, so having that situation when he was 50 was dang scary. I worked part time on and off, but my income could never compare. We were both in sales, but he can sell ice to the Eskimos. So marriage, mixed bag, rather like life.

I've had trouble with irregular periods for years. Because of that I have been on birth control pills for about 8 or 9 years. I wasn't taking these for birth control but control of my period. They worked very well. However, after my last PAP test I asked if maybe I could try going off of the pills and see what happened. Well what happened was this: I had one more period and then no more. That was over 2 months ago. I started having hot flashes 10 times or more a day, insomnia, night sweats, headaches, joint aches and I guess you get the picture. So is this menopause or what? Should I go back on the pills???? I'm so confused. Also, before I went off the pills, I was having trouble with my memory. Is this all part of the big picture or what? Can someone help me?

anneirt~~just saw your post as I was browsing around the board..you didn't give your age but all the symptoms you describe sound like peri to me. I'm 50 and have all of those symptoms. Maybe going off the pill could mess up your hormones..go back to the home page and read "educate your body" I think theres the list of meno symptoms there. Theres the recommendations page that has helped me with advice on vitamins and things like that. Hope you feel better soon, it's no fun..I know!!!

Thanks finola for listening. I am 51 (but don't have a clue how I got that old this fast) I am assuming this is peri that I'm going through. My only confusion is that my periods just completely stopped. (At first I thought I was pregnant Anyway this is a wonderful sight. I keep reading what everyone else has to say and at least I know I'm not crazy, this is REAL! I am trying to get through with only vitamins. I purchased a generic Estroplus but haven't begun to use it yet. Any opinions on this product?

anneirt~~I don't know much about the Estroplus, theres a couple of threads..one called alternative meds,and the other biodentical, natural hormones..some of the ladies over there may know about Estroplus. I ordered some progesterone cream, but then got scared to use it because I haven't had my hormones tested and don't know if I'm low estrogen or progesterone..it's so hard to know what to take..I'm taking B-complex and calcium now and think the B complex is helping my moods a bit~

Wow - so interesting to read all these posts about life pre- and post-meno. I've had perimeno symptoms since I was 36, some of which drove me to one specialist after another after another. Burning urethra that was like a constant case of cystitis, inability to sleep more than about 4 hours a night, exhaustion, dryness in all my mucous membranes, and more that I've mercifully forgotten........ Before all that my health had always been variable, with periods of intense fatigue and IBS being my biggest problems. Drs. often brushed me off. Went through a tough divorce at 35, got stalked by a nut case for a few years after that, went broke for various reasons, moved many times, all of which contributed to the severity of the perio symptoms, I'm sure. Anyway, I remarried 6 years ago, thinking it wasn't the right thing but somehow ending up there anyway, and since then life has calmed down even though other symptoms have come and gone. I had a severe case of the internal shaking that's mentioned here on the boards, and thought I had MS. Went to a neurologist, who was no help, and was distraught until I found my symptoms perfectly described by Dearest and identified as a meno issue. Whew! I've learned to live with the perio symptoms, though now at 46 they seem to be notching up a bit - dryness is worse, esp. in eyes and nose. On the plus side, because I always dealt with anxiety when younger, the occasional anxiety attacks don't freak me out. I also care MUCH less what anyone thinks of me. I've been working on my attitude, meditating, generally doing the things I think I need to do to get ready for this new phase of life, and it's paying off so far (knock on wood). I'm a nicer person, more thoughtful, considerate (without it coming out of my hide, if you know what I mean), less self-centered, just because being ill and freaked and dealing with one trauma after another has finally left me feeling that really, what does it all matter? Given that I don't have control over much of what happens to me, why should I spend what time I have here being miserable? Meditation has helped me to direct my thinking, so my life-long negative thinking is finally becoming a thing of the past. I have to say that although I would never have chosen to undergo a lot of the things that happened to me, they have made me a better person that I wouldn't become if left to my own selfish devices. I'm not looking forward to more symptoms in menopause, but having Power Surge's help and sympathy as close as the computer certainly takes the edge off! Dearest is a saint in my book.

This site is a blessing and Dearest must be an angel here on earth. Reading the information and posts on this website have been calming, affirming, educational, and sometimes even humorous. I enjoy coming here every day.

So do I. It's my fix for the day! As a previous poster said I don't really care what anyone thinks of me regarding the panic but become anxious because of the tummy ache and trots that often accompany it. Why did Claire Weekes not mention this in her books?

Before menopause ,I felt as though I had a life. Now between the heart arrythmia, panic attacks, mood swings, vertigo,chest pains,and what ever else is on the horizon ,I feel as though it will never end. In this time period ,my husband began a new business ,(still struggling). We lost our home , my car , financial security. Last year my dad died. My mother-in-law ,passed last Christmas eve.It has been a most stressful time. I pray a lot. Give it to God and take it back. I need to stop that. I WILL get thru this. Hopefully the marriage will also. I just want menopause to be over. I miss the "me" that used to be. Sorry for the whining.Thanks for letting me express these feelings. God bless you all.

Texas Lady, You can whine anytime. It makes me feel normal. I know everything is so hard, it seems to be for me too, and complaining about it on these boards seems to relieve some of the burden. I understand. {{{{{HUG}}}}}} Yvonne

HELLO - I only discovered your board a few days ago and already feel less lonely and lost. You're all life-enhancing - because you all talk about the essence of your daily lives. The daily grind, the creativity, the struggle to survive daily, the need to connect, to love and be loved and all the obstacles, inside and out, that we try to overcome and understand. Everything I have read I can relate to in small ways and big ways and your humour has made me laugh out loud. Felt a bit overwhelmed when I got home today and logged on to see if it would change the way i felt and read the question by Dearest about what we were like before we were abducted by perimenopause and what we're like now. The biggest change for me is that all my coping mechanisms are failing me. I was born to a woman who had never been loved and rejected me. The pattern for all my relationships was set there. Eventually I married a man who was always going to reject me and found myself a single mum with two little boys. I fell into a thousand pieces but because I didnt want my too precious boys to suffer and be lost like me I tried to make sense of why my life had ended up in such a mess. I learned a lot about myself and discovered that I created co-dependant relationships and was always trying to resolve the anger and fears and self hate through others. I was also addicted to dope, cigarettes binge drinking and was bulimic for a year. Everyday was an internal battleground but eventually I mined out an authentic relationship with myself and then with others and freed myself from the addictions although I still had a problem with food. Eight years later I met and fell in love with John (4 years ago) Life was better than it had ever been and for the first time I felt I had a future and wasnt just living and being creative for my boys. Then two years ago my mum was diagnosed with alzheimers, and we were thrown together coz she had no-one else (i'm an only child). BOY WAS I MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just when life was becoming wonderful and I was full of hope and happiness this woman who never gave a **** about me was dumped smack in the middle of my lap and I had to deal with it. I was very VERY resentful. She still wanted nothing to do with me, was still cruel and hateful but she was helpless and had no-one else. Anyway to cut a long story short (lol) I've come to terms with having her in my life - shes still a pain in the arse but I've got a sense of humour about her and I hardly ever hate her now!? The point being (is that a resounding "AT LAST" I hear) I've worked hard to understand myself, to keep from damaging my sons souls, to overcome my defences and heal the wounds. But recently I find myself angry and intolerant again, lost and frightened again, tired and despairing again and no amount of self-knowledge or positive thinking can budge it . I feel out of control. I try to ride it out but its very scary and I dont want to be destructive. But when Im overwhelmed I'm overwhelmed and stuck. Never not been able to do something creative before. Phew! Sorry about all that - I could have just said - Before perimenopause I could make things change and now I cant. Love Julie x

Julie - so sorry to hear about all the awful things you've had to overcome in your life. It sounds as if you've conquered them with grace and courage (and even a little humor). Just writing to let you know that things DO get better. This peri stuff doesn't last forever and eventually your body does rewire itself to deal with the sputtering hormones. Hang in there, girlie - we're all rooting for you, Otter

Thanks Otter - It feels good to be standing alongside you all. Julie x ps - Im all for a good root !

Before peri, I was a bodacious, hot mama with a go getting, in your face, bratty attitude. I had dreams of lighting the world on fire. Now 6 years later, the world is not on fire and I'm no longer the babe of the ball. My attitude has been adjusted big time by peri but in a good way. I'm no longer obsessed with my looks. I'm much more patient and compassionate person. There was a time when I wouldn't dare go to the store without makeup. Now, I could give a rat's behind what people think of me. I'm carrying 30 extra pounds from Paxil and would've been horrified ten years ago with this extra weight. Now I simply enjoy the extra curves. Well, most of the time .

Texas Lady, your story sounds similar to mine. I have never wanted to take chances because I suppose I like to be in control, therefore when similar hardtimes happened to me it really threw me a curve. At the end of the day, we come into this world alone and leave the same way, so really we have to rely on ourselves! A few helping hands make the journey better but it's really up to us. As I heard on a programme once "The brave do not live forever. The cautious never live at all" Something to think about I suppose.

Gia, evey word you wrote sounds like me. and i also think that if you've been a control freak all your life , it sure makes it alot harder to accept all that happens to us during this nightmare. control freak women are forcefully humbled sooner or later. i wish i could feel confident and sexy again.

Interesting question--life before menopause. I have always been moody, driven, intense, passionate, opinionated, loyal, prone to depression, intellectual, funny, creative. Periods were always regular, predictable, consisting of multiple physical and psychological complaints. My husband sure did dread the PMS! I was always pretty healthy, rarely seeing a doctor except for annual exams, so when at 42, my mammogram showed microcalcifications and I had to get a biopsy, it was devastating. The mastectomy threw me off kilter, then the tamoxifen really accelerated the menopausal process. Hot flashes galore! One or 2 periods a year. This went on for 5 years. Then, when I finally finished the tamoxifen, I had a hysterectomy for what I feared was uterine cancer, but was not. In the process, I found my power--I became less fearful and more courageous--why can't I learn to pilot a plane or shoot a gun?! So, I guess prior to menopause, I was less than I am now. I am still trying to find my creativity again. I am much more spiritual now than I was before menopause. I think I was very judgemental and my thinking was black & white before. It's like my mind has been opened up and all this new information and new ways of seeing things has blossomed in there while I was asleep. I think I am a better me now. I agree with Gia--I was pretty hot in my younger days, but now I am learning to accept the extra weight, fine wrinkles showing up in my skin, and I am much less concerned with what others think, period.

Great topic of discussion, I can empathize and understand what some of these women are going through after reading these posts. The difference between me and everyone else here is that I have had a full hysterectomy at age 42 (with removal of the ovaries) a couple of months ago. I had a tumor that was found in my uterus (benign) thank god! Prior to surgery and at least for 3 yrs. I had symptoms of hot flashes, night sweats, extremely bad PMS, insomnia, fatigue and 3 months before surgery, heavy bleeding during my period for up to 7 days, extreme fatigue, and anemia. I do not have to deal with any of these symptoms anymore and have only experienced mild hot flashes and insomina for a couple of nights in the last 2 months...nothing to really complain about. I have cut out coffee and drink a healthy coffee called gano that has the extract of the reishi mushroom for health benefits (by the way a cup of this coffee has about 7 mg of caffeine, compared to regular coffee that could have as much as 280 mg of caffeine), I drink 8 glasses of water/day, drink green tea (which has the benefits of antioxdants), eat soy, fiber, flax and have cut out refined white sugar, refined white flour (as much as I can). I also will be getting back into yoga (which I really love) for excercise. I understand that estrogen can stay in your fat cells for up to 10 wks after surgery, so I don't know if that is why I am not experiencing the hot flashes to a more severe degree. I am not on any HRT and do not want to go on synthetic hormones, however, I am thinking about NHRT because I believe that I need the benefits that estrogen will give me. I am concerned about bone loss and heart disease. I would love to hear from anyone that has gone through a hysterectomy so I could hear their experience.
Looking forward to hearing from any replies
Take care,
Youthful wants to talk to you

I come from a line of slow developers... You can take that as mentally slow .. physically slow and emotionally slow... I married at the age of 29 after having fulfilled my dreams of becoming a top equestrian competitor. I settled down but never had any children so gave my creativity to breeding and showing dogs. I come from an athletic health oriented family (5 doctors). I believe I entered into peri at age 40 when I quit my career and retired. Big step. From ages 40 to 51, I gained 60 lbs... yo-yoing on a variety of diets and foods. By 48 yrs of age, I had all the symptoms of the "fat and 40"... was my gall bladder going to be the next problem? I started to research. I joined a gym, met a personal trainer who took an interest in me. She actually caught me in a downward spiral.. I took baby steps to climb back up. I'm doing OK today... with some symptoms though I'm supplimenting with Progesterone, watching my weight (low carb/high protein). I workout 5x's a week and pump weights with other women my age who also have realized the benefits of a strenuous workout. My libido has returned, my dress size has returned, I'm now called the bicep babe and have the men looking at me again. Weight training should be called the "Secrets of Anti-aging". Just look at the movie stars these days... they are all in the gym.. As the nike slogan says: JUST DO IT. (I'm much happier and have to say... I'm doing fine (finally).

Before menopause...pretty much a happy go lucky kind of person. Had a hysterectomy 2 years ago at age 45. Instant menopause, not pretty. Very edgy, very weepy. no patience whatsoever, hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain (25 pounds so far!), no short term memory, no sex drive whatsoever. And no support system at home!!!!Was put on low dose of estrodial but stopped it myself. Tried organic progesterone cream, didn't do a thing. Have just been trudging along for 2 years now, trying to keep my wits about me. Last year developed terrible pain in my feet, TMJ, losing bone in my gums and now both knees are killing me. Podiatrist gave me orthotics for feet (didn't help a bit), dentist gave me a retainer for the TMJ (didn't help a bit), orthopeodic surgeon said maybe the kneecaps were bruised (although I didn't injure them) and to take 2 Aleve. And now I've discovered Power-Surge and through this site a wonderful doctor by the name of Phillip Warner, who I met with yesterday in his office. He is getting me on what I believe to be the true road to recovery with bio-identical (or as he calls them, human identical) hormones. After one month on these hormones I will check back in here and report on the progress. Gees, this just HAS to be the answer.

Meg,

Welcome to Power-Surge! Gee, all your symptoms sound familiar....

Best of luck with this new approach. I so hope it makes a big difference for you. Let us know how it goes!

Jacquie

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[SIZE=14] Hello Katie1 -- Congrats on the exercising--I also believe going to the gym 5-6x week has helped me greatly with menopause. I am 54 and have been without period since age 45. My symptoms are not that bad except ONE --the night sweats. It's been driving me mad for the past 9 mos, since I stopped the HRT. (developed breat tumors/borderline cancer, had to choice but to stop!) I believed so much in the exercise and that it would help this too, but, alas, it has not. I sweat like crazy in the gym and then again at night doing nothing but lying there! I started taking ACTIVE WOMAN's MULTI (vitamin), which I purchase thru this site, but so far they have not made a difference in the night sweats. If anyone has anything that works to help with this hot bed problem, please tell us all!! - Janie PS--I've been away for a long, long time from this site and have just re-registered--so good to be back!

HEY, I know what you are going through. I have good days and bad. Had a radical hysterectomy in Nov 2004, and turned the big 41 in Dec 2004. I use Vivelle Dot natural estrogen patches now, and some natural usp progesterone cream. It has helped the insomnia and night sweats. I am trying to figure out the proper dosing of the progesterone cream. I have been having terrible headaches lately.
I usually do not have hot flashes during the day, but they were terrible about 4i in
the afternoon yesterday and last night. I woke up about 3am and could not go back to sleep until 6am. Good luck Tally

Thank you for the warm welcome, Jacquie! It's good to be here!

Meg, you're so welcome!

Before perimenopause, I assumed women who had a hard time with "the change" were somehow weak-spirited, or "prone to booboos." I was going to breeze through it, and for good measure, would age well, and be one of those "handsome" older women, always active and positive, lots of energy....

Well, heh heh heh..... <_<

Yeah Jacquie life plays tricks on you. Although I had a history of premenstrual woes, I thought menopause meant a few flashes and then adios PMDD. Little did
I know I'd go through years of amped up premenstrual type symptoms. I
was always somewhat of a worrier, but the chronic panic attacks amazed me. I
was also somewhat moody, but functional. This literally knocked to my knees
somedays. And I tried to look for ten million issues, but raging hormones seem
to be at the forefront.

I exercised regularly, so I was going to glide into my middle years painfree and
youthful. I also ate well and took tons of supplements. Now I deal with chronic
pain issues.

Rough day. Panic, intense crying jags, rag. Well, Chris you know the drill. You
would think I would adapt to this by now, but I'll never get use to feeling so
lousy. I do maintain hope, but how I'll never know.

You're right, Chris, there is no adapting to those feelings. What's that old saying: "no way out but through."

Hang in. It's gonna pass. Meanwhile, we're with ya.

Love,
Jacquie

Perimenopause for me is a something I wouldn't wish on anyone. My FSH level says I'm not in peri, yet I have numerous symptoms of perimenopause which change yearly. I have no predictable cycle to my periods, can't plan travel or much else. I live in fear of having some deadly disease because I don't recognize my body anymore. I have anxiety for the first time in my life (where the heck did that come from??) usually while driving down a major highway (HA HA). I get heart palpitations once in a while (only while I lie down and try to relax, never while in the middle of a major cardio workout!). I hate this time in my life and feel like I am wasting or will be wasting what could have been 10 good years. So sorry for this vent, I am feeling depressed this morning and now I have my period (but not quite a period) again and will probably have to call my doctor. Oh, and my biggest complaint is I can't find a doctor who can guide me through this mess called menopause help me understand what is happening to me. No one has ever talked to me about HRT. I don't think anyone has the answers and I'm so frustrated. Thanks for allowing this vent. I'm having a bad morning.

I think in comparison I have had a fairly easy time. The hot flashes and loss of sex drive are my biggest complaints. I am 52 and haven't had a period in 7 months. I just stopped one month. I did not have the heavy periods leading up to my periods ending. I do have horrible hot flashes that keep me up at night and bother me during the day. I have suffered from panic attacks since my early teen years. I have been on Ativan for about 10 years now. It keeps my panic and anxiety under control. I don't seem to have mood swings or anxiety. (maybe thanks to the Ativan I take) I do feel a loss of sex drive. I do seem to have more headaches then before. Crossing my fingers it does not get any worse then this.

Marty

Lucky you Marty! Sounds like your menopause might actually be a mild one! I'm so jealous! lol lol!! Your loss of sex drive could be partially related to the menopause and also could be related to the Ativan. I know one of the benzo side effects is decreased sex drive. How much do you take? I take xanax @ one .25 at night and have for 7 years. My sex drive is FAR from decreased! but my doseage is so low my doctor says it's almost a placebo effect for me.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that you don't have any more symptoms than you have now! How inspiring to hear that there ARE mild menopauses out there!
HUGS!

Hello ladies, yes I can agree with everyone that peri changes just about EVERYTHING, I never know what to expect next. Now that the heavy duty peri symtoms have been coming on me since beginning of 2004. But the Panic attacks and depression episodes started back 8 yrs ago. I never saw the connection of the anxiety, with peri???? Until I started coming here to power-surge, it really educated me, that I wasn't just nuts, but other women are going through it also.

At almost 47, I haven't yet skipped any periods, just had some that were up to 10 days late, which isn't like me, I used to be like clock work.

My daughter is getting married in 2 weeks, and its been stress city with everything that needs to be done. I think peri gets worse when stress is high??? Anyway, yesterday at my daughters bridal shower, many of my family members came (which isn't often that I see them), my sister (who's 14yrs older) commented to me that I looked tired, and that the last few times she has seem me, I looked tired. WELL.....my first thought was, damm I should have had some plastic surgery done by now.....(of course the wedding will take care of any EXTRA change I would have laying around)lol. So being broke and now tired looking, takes on new meanings in PERI LAND!!!! Oh well!!!

Poor you Juliann. Just put on some extra blusher!

My daughter gets married this summer and I'm dreading it.

One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is people who tell other people they "look tired."
How is this ever helpful to anyone? If you're gonna tell me I look tired, how about arranging a spa visit for me, or offering to come help clean my house, or taking me out to lunch? Once these two ladies at a church I used to go to were going on and on about how tired I looked, and then ended with, "Don't forget we'll need you to bake 2 pies for Friday's bake sale." HUNHHHH?????

There are times I have felt like people who do this have some kind of "agenda." I guess you might consider, next time you see your sister, telling her she "doesn't look well." That's another one I hate - these vague, undermining comments!

But then, as you can see, I am thin-skinned, slightly paranoid, and vengeful!


Hey, my daughter's wedding was beautiful, even tho' I did my best to be a wreck . I'm so happy for you gals! Bring lots of tissues!