I just cant cope with this anymore. I hardly ever have any good days and when I get the odd good day something always goes wrong. I cant cope with stress and I have lots of stress right now. I just cant exist day to day like this, I am just not strong enough!

Gez I read your post and saw myself in it. I know what you mean about all the bad days. I don't know if you see someone (therapist) but I have found it helps me. Sometimes it feels good to just release all your feelings to someone (other than family who are sick of hearing it). I'm sure you've tried all the things out there to help you ( I know I have) but please hang in there - from all I've talked to it does get better - just wish I knew when - if you can, take a walk - it always helps

Gez, I thought you were considering Prozac premenstrually. I don't handle stess well, either. Depression distorts!! It also passes. I have very few good days, as well. My husband told me to baby myself. I know how exhausting this becomes, as I'm in the throes of this hell, too. Counseling could be useful, as suggested. Hang in there, you're certainly not alone. My period is over and I'm still crampy. My head is so foggy this morning, I could weep. Take one minute at a time!!!

Hi Gez: I guess that you are still feeling depressed, are you, or are you feeling anxiety? There are so many things which you can do to sooth yourself a little. OK I'll name one - listen to beautiful music for 30 minutes and relax and focus on the music. ...

Gez, I completely hear you--I can't think of anything that I enjoy anymore--I feel like I am just wasting time here--no motivation-enjoyment-happiness---my house stays a mess because I can't face it --yet it frustrates me to see it so messy, just a vicious circle. I can't wait for my hubby to leave for work in the morning--then a bit after he is gone, I think how lonely I am. Don't know if this helped you at all, but just wanted to send a hug and say I'm close to the same boat as you. Gosh , in re-reading this, I realize how little sense I make, everything is whirlling around in my head and doesn't come out in an organized manner--anyway--hang in there and feel free to email me if you wish. Mel

Mel, I feel that same whirlwind of confusion. Listening to music can be soothing. I took a brisk walk, but the cobwebs didn't clear. I finally sat on the floor and sobbed. I feel somewhat better. Well, I'll be going to California tomorrow, to visit a dear friend that I haven't seen for a decade. She has breast cancer. I keep mourning the old me, as I was so adventuresome. Ugh, I hate this unpredictability, these apprehensive funks. Vicious circle is right. I'm gonna have fun this week, if it kills me.

Gez- You CAN do it. Maybe by a wing and a prayer, but you ARE strong enough. You're just going to have to dig really deep to find that strength. We all have different approaches, different things that work (and don't), but when all is said and done, at the end of the day it is just you left with all this "stuff" to deal with (or not!) I wish I had some terrific words of wisdom for you. I wish I had the answer to all this madness, and I wish I could tell you that it will all go away NOW, but as you know, I can't. Back to basics Gez.... back to one foot in front of the other. Make YOU a priority. Get enough sleep, and if you can't sleep, just rest. LOWER THE BAR. You don't have to be all things to everybody in your life. Go back through this website, and read some more. Don't underestimate your strength. You ARE strong, it sounds like you're just TIRED. Try not to confuse the two. I will be thinking of you, as will all the ladies on this thread. And if you're really worried about not being strong enough, know that there is strength in numbers... and my number is with you. You hang in.........

I know what you mean. There are some days when you just want to quit always being the "strong" one! Well, we have bad days too! The one thing that helps me is to remember "Someone ALWAYS has it worse than you somewhere". Sounds silly but it does help me at times. Trust me, I've been going through some serious stress with having our 21 yr. old son in trouble. I just wish I could have a good day! Hang in there. It has to get better. Just take one day at a time.

Lower the bar!!!Too high, can't get over it, Too low, can't get under it, too wide, can't get around it.....oh! rocka my soul.............Now - Everybody SING!! Weeeell, I can't do nothin with the blues I've got but sing sing sing, Takes all that I've got to keep from blowin my top, I'm gonna sing sing sing.......... EVERYBODY, sing away your troubles, lets be happy and gay, weeell, lets shout hallelujah, and blow the blues away ohohohohoh... when you feel down hearted, join me in my song ....and tell ...the blues so long..... tell the blues so long! .....yeahhh OK! so that didn't work........... What it all boils down to is that we are all in this together - alone. Hang in there Gez.

Its taking me an enormous effort to write this post and I'm not functioning the way a healthy person should be, but I want to write and thank all of you for your replies. Thank you for being here for me and understanding me because it halves the load. I've lost my zest for life. I'm not the person I was thats for sure. I'm not happy, I can't get interested in anything, I dont want to do anything and it takes so much effort to do the simplest thing sometimes. This morning I'm siting here like I have a sack load of potatotes on my back and my heart is racing. Last night my muscles in my arms twitched so much they woke me . I am so sick of all these symptomns and its wearing me down. No day is the same and its making me depressed and anxious. Stress exacerbates the symptoms and I seem to have lots of sttess in my life right now. I cant work because I'm unwell and I have bills that need to be paid. I have hospital appointments to keep with specialists but it seems too much of an effort, everything is just too much. I'm tired of trying to explain to family how I feel. I try and make them understand that what I am going through is a serious and confusing time for me but they just dont get it. I have a good couple of days and then they are snatched away. I cant cope with any stress, I just fall apart and I never used to be that way. I question whats happening to me most of the time and I'm frustrated that I cant recover. I feel trapped in a body that isnt working and my head doesnt think straight anymore. I am tired of listening to myself cry and I've done a lot of that this year. I want so much to be 'normal' again. Gez

Hi Gez, I am sorry my "little stage act" didn't cheer you up and I should have known better, having bin there done that. If you are feeling anything like I have at my lowest times, and it all sounds very familiar, I sympathize. I am now on antidepressants and anti anxiety as needed. I could not "do" it anymore either - without help. When you are feeling like this it is all but impossible to "pull yourself out of it" or be productive, or anything else that others expect of you that don't understand. The only way to understand what someone else is going through is to have been through it yourself, and most of us in here have been or are where you are now. Not a good place to be. I am 50 and post meno and have a haunting past that I have to avoid at all costs. Combined with meno this is a recipe for disaster. The thing I craved the most, and still do, is my solitude - my own space, I could not cope without this. This means someone else has to take the load off of you for a while. The wonderful women in Power Surge have a lot to offer and this is one of my favourite "retreats". I have been talked through panick attacks, laughed so much I nearly wet myself and cried till I was exhausted - all with the support of the Power "Surgettes". This kind of support is a rarity in your average household. It does get better or so they keep telling me and I have even been known to say it myself on the odd occassion. - So Gez, fellow "surgette" hang in there and come in here and let it all hang out and we will all do our best to comfort you in your time of need and laugh with you when you are feeling better. - K!......and remember, this too shall pass.....eventually. Melb ~ You are living my life! The only difference being that I don't get lonely, but enjoy my solitude.

Gez, My heart is breaking for you - I truly know the way you feel. I've had so much twitching with my anxiety and that makes me more anxious. Please try to take it one day at a time and you will make it. Try and clear you mind and don't think - works for me sometimes. Slow, deep breathing and it'll help the racing heart - will be thinking of you today - you can do it - hang in

Hi Gez: This bad way that you are feeling right now is temporary. This is not "the new you", it is the way you are when sick. There are things that you can do, many things that you can do, to cope with the bad feelings, and to support your healing. You may have to learn some new techniques and coping styles. You may have to determine to do things by an effort of will, such as healthful things and seeing the experts. Write a list, keep it short, and commit to doing things that help yourself everyday, such as eating, sleeping, exercising, drinking water, doing pleasurable things which involve beauty and laughter. Put the things that stress you into time slots and try to deal with them then, and only then. I have been where you are now, or somewhere similiarly dark, and it does end. Joy returns. Comfort returns. Like the old saying, it is darkest before the dawn. Our hormones can make us feel the worst just at the time of menopause. Also you can have good moments. Focus on them. Record them. Breathe life into them.

Oh, but that totally worked for me! You made me smile when I didn't think I could today! Thank you!

Gez- I know, I know, I know. I'll be thinking of you.

Gez: I wish I was sitting with you right now and I could give you a big hug. I'm going through the same thing as you. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. It feels like it's all down hill from here on. I've always had low self-esteem and mild depression. This menopause is making it all so much worse. I feel invisible to the world. My elderly parents keep reminding me of the horrible ailments I'm prone to get now, since I've inherited their genes...arthritis and blindness etc. Because of the doctor shortage here in Canada (I don't have one), I don't even have any way of getting regular check-ups with the hopes of catching serious problems early. I can't even try natural progesterone cream which so many on this board say helps with the anxiety, because it's not available in Canada. I don't see much hope. I sat down yesterday and turned on the radio, and listened to some classical music which drove me tears, and I felt as if I was mourning my loss of life...

Hi Ruth: Now I am concerned about you, too. I do think that you have to think positive about the health issues, and take control of your health. There *is* so much you can do. Depression comes along with a feeling of hopelessness, perhaps you can identify and replace some of the negative and untrue things that you or your parents may be saying. I mean just say to yourself, or write down the positive things. You can also say them to other people, but I am not suggesting increasing conflict. This could be part of a complete treatment plan for your depression. I don't know where you live in Canada that you say there is a doctor shortage, there is one where I live too, but you *can* get a doctor if you persist, and wait, and/or travel to get one, can't you? Also I believe that progesterone cream is available in health food stores. It is in BC. Also genetics is not destiny. Not entirely. You may have an increased probability of getting an illness possibly. I saw a news article on a study done in Sweden which stated that genetic factors were not as important in predicting disease as previously thought. One thought for you is to look at the life styles in your family and see if that contributed to disease. You know how people in the family can copy each other's life styles. You can do something about the diseases that are caused by life style, you can chose to change if it is important to you. It is good to see you post here. I notice that you have been a member for a long time and haven't posted much. Part of being noticed is taking the effort to reach out to other people. Everyone has so much to give, and that includes you. Grace other people with what you have to share. Take care.

WhiteHorses: Thankyou for your kind words.

That's exactly how I feel. To me, the worst thing is feeling "nothing" (the worst thing after migraines, that is). I feel I'm just marking time every day. Like I could just put a big X on each calendar day and say, Okay, that day's done. I got through another day. Big deal. The only place we differ is that my house is not a mess. I'm fanatical about my house (I was an interior designer). But on second thought, I'm not even very good at that anymore and don't care as much. (You might want to take a look at Flylady.com to get some support on your home.) These feelings, in my case, are not "true" depression, because I've had clinical depression in the past and it's not like that. This is more a feeling that life has no real purpose or meaning, and I just do not care. I don't want to do anything. My mother was exactly the same way. Several times a day during meno she'd say, "I just don't care about anything anymore." I thought she was a real whiner. (Well, she is a real whiner, and to this day does nothing but complain, but that's another story entirely.) I just hang on with the belief that I might feel better at some point.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm doing quite good today. I wish I could feel this way all the time but realistically speaking I know I will revert back to those dark days again until I find something thats going to help me stablilize. I just woke up this morning and everything slotted into place. My mind and body came together and I feel calm again. I cant explain this because its so strange but if I could feel this way every day, I'd have 'me' back. I want to thank all the beautiful, brave and supportive women here who have helped and supported me. You all make me want to cry. I'm so lucky. I love each and everyone of you. Thank you, from my heart, for being here. Gez

Gez, I'm so happy you are having a good day or 2 -- I wish you would send some of that my way take care mel

((((((Mel))))))) I wish I could give you a big hug. Write to me please. Love Gez

Gez- Just ENJOY and don't even think about bad days that may lay ahead. As a Mother, and everything else I do, I have found it soooo hard to just LIVE IN THE MOMENT. It goes against all my insticts...... but I think during this time, that is exactly what we should do! My PS friend Paulinep always teases me when I tell her to just BREATHE (like she's going to forget to breathe???) but slow, steady, and deep breaths do really help. Enjoy today, and everyday, and when you can't, know that your time to enjoy will come around again. I'm still thinking of you.......

wow!!:o this is why i came here today to see how other women are handling this time of thier life ,and glad too know im not alone out here but many days i sure feel like i am and to find some reassurance this in due time will pass, it sure helps to read all the posts, i dont get here too often but when i need it i know your there.... thanks

Ok friends, I will try to share what I do in hopes it will help someone.. Baby steps, baby steps. Find one thing that I like to do, or that I did like to do in the old days and do it...a nice shower, a buble bath, play with face creams (facial kind of)...get on line, browse ebay and buy something (great joy in waiting for a package)..drive around, play with my pets, get a latte, sit outside in quiet and look at the sky, be grateful there is not a war going on in my home town, my fridge is full, I have electricity and running water, have tea with lots (lots!) of honey...oatmeal is a big comfort food with milk and sugar, read a good, loose myself in the pages, novel. Sometimes just sit and cry for 15 minutes, or all day, but know it will pass....Sometimes I have to really look outside myself, think of the people I know who are battleing things much bigger than my stuff....and I thank God I'm not there..then I pray for them... No question this is not an easy journey we are on...I think though of third world women who are on this journey without the benefit of a computer, running water, friends, doctors, etc. I buy a new lipstick at least once a week cause it gives me a reason to wake up...I get to wear a new one! How silly I know, but it works for me. I also take zoloft, wellbutrin and when needed for anxiety klonopin...I drink revival, take a multi vitiman and try to eat healthy...Somedays are easy, some are hard and I cry, but I remember the easy day and know it WILL come again...there IS a light at the end of tunnel..even if you can't see it, believe it's there...don't loose hope...find a really older woman and ask her...I have a friend who is 86...she is my mentor in so many area's...she is way on the other side of this and she is happy. If we get done with all this by 60 that will give us hopefully another 15 or more good years... Well, I have said enough, my tylonel and coffee breakfast have lessened my headache and now I am going to do something fun, hop in the shower, use 10 or so different shower gels and soaps (love bath and body works) and start a new Monday..(call a woman who stopped payment on a check she gave me, see a oral surgeon about a 3 time root canaled tooth that is a pain, try to wake up my 15 year old son for school which is a BIG challenge, wait for biopsy reports for my cat who probably has inflamatory bowel disease...she throws up daily...BUT...I have new perfume to wear today...and even though it's pouring out...I think it will be a good day...) tina sorry is this was long and rambling.....

No apologies needed for "rambling on." That rambling was excellent advice. Thanks for sharing Dearest