Hi Dearest,

Many thanks for the valuable information. I have went through quickly all the links that you provided.

You are our great leader and my hero ... and I do mean it.

Many thanks again and God bless.

I'm writing for the first time; please forgive any missteps!  I find this thread--and many others--particularly interesting because I'm feeling very dead in my current job, and don't know what's next.  Is it typical of menopause, do you think, to feel like everything else needs to change, too?  (Well, not my husband, but almost everything else!) Any suggestions on how to work up the courage and try something new???  Yikes!  I love the site and al the encouragement you offer each other.  Thank you for letting me know I'm not going crazy and I'm not alone in facing all these incredible changes.

Hi - for me it was building up for so long, that I dreaded going to work every day - and it wasn't anxiety, it was just hating my job.  And for months I rationalized that we needed the money, I was comfortable there, it was close to home, etc, etc.  Well, the day I left I just knew I had to leave.  Tomorrow I am starting my new job (actually right across the street from the old, so there goes the close to home argument!), more hours so more money, etc.  Tonight I feel like it's the first day of school - but meno version; what if they are all young and thin? What if they are always chilly and I'm sitting there sweating like a pig having hot flashes all day? What if they're biggest "anxiety" was being nervous on their wedding day? Ok, I got THAT off my chest! This ought to be a hoot! Wish me luck.  And you will do it too, when the time is right for you. Linda F

Kitty, Hi!!

I don't blame you for doubting yourself....feeling insecure!!  Menopause can sure do that to a gal!! But, hon....the courage is there...it's inside!! You owe it to yourself to be the best you can be with whatever talents, skills, and abilities, you have!!  You have much to offer, not only to others but to yourself!!We all have more experience, inside of us....due to what we've gone through, all these years......that we haven't even tapped into;)

What are your passions....your likes....dislikes....needs....wants....desires??!!  Maybe it's time to re-evaluate and find out what makes you tick!!! Then go for it!!!You don't hafta rush....take your time....you've earned respect!!!  It's your life....your future!!When you're in a job, or vocation....that you love....all the rest just takes care of itself!!  I work at home.....I walked off my job, cuz, like Linda....I hated it!!  Never looked back....no regretts!!  I'm an Administrative Assistant and counselor!!:)All my past experiences became my best asset!!  My associates came to me....ask if I would work for them...on my terms!!  Wow!!  Talk about ecstatic!!

Just keep an open mind.....and don't give up!!You'll be fine......you're made of tuff stuff:biggrin:

((((((Hugs from a Canadian Gal))))))                       Snowy

Linda, God luv ya!!

Now that you've got all that negative stuff off your chest:biggrin:....you're ready ta GO!!!I couldn't be happier for you, girl!!

HEY!! If the others are thin, chilly, etc.,etc....so what!!!  You have the experience of LIFE behind YA....The Smarts....The Hutzpa!! Did I mention, **CHARMING**:biggrin:

I'll be thinking of you.....cuz, I know...you'll do just fine...and the Snowbird is NEVER wrong:cool:

Keep us posted...........................................

((((((Hugs from The Snowbird))))                    Snowy

Dear Linda and Snowy,

I'll be praying for you today, Linda, but have a feeling that if you had the courage to leave the wrong job, you'll do just fine in the new one!  

And to my Canadian Neighbor: Wow!  You certainly know how to pump up the ego.  No wonder you're a counselor.  Thank you. A Lot.

Kitty, Hi'ya

Hey, every word is TRUE, my friend;);)The *Snowbird* CAN'T tell a LIE!! :biggrin::cool:

Luv ya...................................................(((((Huggers)))))       Snowy

I can vouch for the Silly Goose .She may be silly , but she knows what she's talking about. Beneath those ruffled feathers is a big brain not a bird brain :biggrin: Other birds tease her about that , too, the poor thing But we love her :)hugs, jeanne

GAWSH!!I'm HUMBLED!!  That's doesn't happened very often:biggrin:  Take advantage of it while ya can!! LOL!

I just let the other birds tease me....to humor 'em!! After all, they're cute....cuddly...feathery...and always thar, when ya need them.....like my crazy, weird, meno-sistah, jeanne!!;)We're all in the same boat....errr.....nest....Meno-nest, that is!!:biggrin:

(((((Hugs from the Silly-One))))               Snowy:cool:

Linda, how did your first day go??  I bet you were great!! I was thinking of you.  Let us know.

Add another one to the list.  I went to work this morning and within 5 minutes I was outa there.  First I said I'll give you two weeks but then the manager said I was rude so I said you know what forget the two weeks I'm gone.  Just wish I had gotten my vacation pay before I stormed out.  If Linda can do this then so can I :biggrin: Much like Linda my job WAS right next door to our house.  And by the way Linda congrats on the new job.I suppose it will take me awhile to get over this but for the past year and a half I have been miserable there.  No validation, praise for good work, peanuts for a paycheque etc.  No one was treated the same and I have seen many others come and go and I do mean many.  I think the manager and owners pick someone to get rid of and they are off like a heard of turtles to get that person out the door.  So I came home, called hubby at work all upset, had a little cry and called a good friend who is such a positive person for a little reassurance then came here to whine.     Like the idea of a nap Linda, sure sounds good to me right about now.  First I better listen to my relaxation tape.  On top of all this hubby (who works for the federal government has been on strike this past week) today was his first day back since last Tuesday.  I sure hope there is a Santa Clause because it may be pretty slim this year.  Thanks for letting me vent, I feel a little better, I just have to remember to keep a positive frame of mind.

The first day started with paperwork, a drug screen (I really had to go, and there was an hour wait to give them the urine sample. I was exhausted (haven't worked from 9 to5:30 since the early 1980s), felt totally overwhelmed and stupid.  But other than that it was ok.  I was in my jammies by 8pm.  Today I went in and we   were sent home after an hour and a half due to the nightmare terrorism.  It was a bit of a bonding experience though - working in a crisis quickly.  I will give it my best shot.  I just hate being "the new girl" when I'm almost 40. Linda F

Congratulations Linda and Cookie....One for going in and one for coming out.  Just try to remember that we are all exactly where we need to be when we need to be there. Blessings to you both and be well.

Irene:biggrin:Thanx so much for the reply.  I feel that my job was causing me alot of stress.  I guess I finally had enough.  When something is said in confidence and then repeated to the boss.......well it just makes me boil.  I guess I have alot of time to work on myself now and really get my anxiety under control.  Lets face it I have the time.Oh ya and finish my spring cleaning.:biggrin:I will miss the money though and will have to give up my gym membership.....guess I can go back to walking around the block and lifting weights at home.Yes I believe this is exactly where I need to be at this time in my life.  Thanx again and big HUGS to you.

Cookie,If we've learned anything at all this week (with the attack on our country) it's that life is short!  Good for you for getting the H--- out of a situation that was not good for you!  :smile:  You are a powerful meno-warrior!  Yah, for you!

Hey you are Da Women ! Congrats on doing what is best for you It's very hard to make changes at our age but when you know it is right it really is easy. You both will be so much happier. And that's what counts.

WTG Linda and cookie :)hugs, jeanne

Eileen and Jeanne :biggrin:Thanx, I feel good,,,,,,da,da, da,da ,da ,da ,da. I know that I would now.  Kind of like an inner peace.  One day at a time is my motto now. Rest and relaxation is what this body of mine needs at the moment.  Finally I can read Christiane Northrup's book, "The Wisdom of Menopause".  The girl I got it from said it is a very good read.Thanx and big HUGS to you

If there's anything I've learnt over the years of my changing jobs, is....DIGNITY and SELF-RESPECT, I can only GIVE myself!!I won't look outside of the Bird, to find it...."It's Inside";) If it takes walking off a job....speaking up for mine own protection and values, then so be it!!I've been around too many blocks to allow, some outside force to tell, me what's best for me!!I'll listen....I'll assess....I'll even ask for advise....but in the end....the decision is mine!! It's an individual responsibilty;)

I'm no good to myself or anyone else, if I loose my self-respect and dignity!!It doesn' have to be demanded, or taken away from someone else.....They have there own responsibilities!!**It's A Way Of Life**My hats are off to all of you;)***YOU'RE ALL DA WOMEN***

((((((Hugs to Y'all)))))          Snowy:cool:

SnowyThanx,:biggrin: You are a wise bird:o I can tell by all your posts, I just hope that someday I too shall be as wise as you. Forget the Wisdom of Menopause.............When we have the wisdom of the Snowbird.  U R just full of knowledge for which many of us going through all this STUFF are grateful for.{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Aw Shucks.....it ain't nuttin!!I learnt all I know from jeanne:biggrin::biggrin:

Seriously, *THANK YOU*, my friend;)We ALL have that inner Wisdom!! It's just a matter of tapping into it:cool:

Ahhhhh!!!!**Wisdom Of The Snowbird**I like the SOUND of that:cool: I'll try not ta let it go to my head! *giggle*Maybe I'll write a book!! :biggrin: "My Memoir's";) Gotta pass on my brilliance to the next generation!!:cheesy::cool::biggrin:

Luv ya.......................................................................;)HAGO(
(((((Hugs from the Wise Bird))))))                  Snowy :cool:

I've been reading through all the notes about being in bad jobs, wanting to quit, etc.  I worked as one of several reference librarians at a major law firm in Washington, DC for 22 years.  I was determined from the beginning to be treated as a professional.  Working with partners at the firm can be incredibly stressful, but working with the the young attorneys can be even worse--some of them felt like they had the right to put everyone else in "their place".  Luckily, I also worked with some really decent attorneys.  But my boss, who is my age, was an unstable personality.  He would be rational and calm one day and then go off on a tear for no obvious reason.  It wasn't just with me--but I had a hard time overcoming my training to be a "good girl" and learn to stand up for myself.  But by the time I started having symptoms of menopause, I found myself not being able to take any kind of pressure.  I had always been in love with the research aspect of my job--tracking down elusive information like a spy.  But I started doubting everything I did every day.  I had irrational fears that I was going to do something so awful at work that all of my past successful 22 years would just wipe out the reputation I had built as a respected professional.  The aches and pains that came with the symptoms caught me off guard.  It took me a long time to realize what was going on.  Two years ago my husband started talking to me about retiring .  He was really worried about me.  He said although we would have to make some budget adjustments, we could still make it since he would be working in his government job for another 5 years before he would retire.  At first I thought it sounded crazy.  We both had envisioned me as the one who wouldn't give up my job.  I just thought I would always go on and on.  I felt like I would be admitting some kind of defeat.  But he kept talking to me and saying he would love to have me at home and he'd feel better knowing I could try a few things I wanted to do besides my job.  This last December I finally took the leap and retired!  At the time, we were planning for some remodeling of our house and I tripped and fell over a 3 foot high stack of lumber and smashed my right wrist to smithereens.  I had  two surgeries by a wonderful orthopedic surgeon.  I told my boss that although I had said I would stay until the end of the first week in January, I was going to have to quit right away (just before Christmas).  I went to my going away party with my arm in a metal contraption to hold it in place.  I asked for cake and champagne.  I was so glad to be leaving I didn't even want a big party.We are in the midst of the remodeling, which has ended up costing more than we could have foreseen due to county regulations, etc.  I hurt and ache almost every day, but I keep trying to keep active.  It's all very scary, but it's also exhilirating.  I don't mind being on a budget like we were when we were young.  My husband comes home every night and says, "It's so good to come home to you."  If I could just foresee an end to this fatigue and aches and pains!  I keep telling him it will end some day, but sometimes I just sit down and cry out of frustration.  I feel like I've ended up in somebody else's older body.   But reading the messages I find on Power Surge has been a big help to me.

I have been at my new job almost two months - and it's full time - I so envy anyone who is at home - I wish it was financially possible for me.  I am now in a nice environment, but the job is very busy and stressful, and the days are so LONG!! You will adjust before you know it. And come here and visit!! All the best, Linda F

Hi Booklady :biggrin:

Irene ( a very smart lady) told me "we are exactly where we need to be when we need to be there".  That helped me so much, now I just do what I feel like doing, if that's nothing then so be it.  I use to love to paint before I started working , I haven't gotten back into it yet but someday I will.This is the time for you too, I love being a kept woman again. LOL......Sorry about your wrist, hope you mended nicely.I too am tired most of the time, that's our body telling us it's time to rest ( I heard from a great source that this shall end someday) :cheesy:  After so many years of looking after everyone else ........this is time for me.Enjoy your retirement.All the best to you....

I also just resigned from my job.  My boss was a total psycho who actually told me she would have never hired me had she known then what she knows now. (she never did fill me in on what she came to know).  She bullied me, and told me she had no time to manage or mentor me.  She had me so intimidated that I actually lied about something rather than deal with the reprecussions (unfortunately the minor thing that I lied about she found out about and proceeded to harangue me).  Last Friday the monster met with me (I had requested that we meet once a week for progress checks) and told me that I either had to resign or they would terminate me.  I was meeting deadlines and completing projects on time.  The people I worked with all seemed to like me and what I was doing for them.  One even said that I was better to work with because I didn't demean them.  Now I'm out of work and freaked out by what this will mean to my job record.  I'm single so that makes it even harder.  I'm waiting for my window to open to better things and hoping I don't slide into a severe depression or panic.  I have a history of both.  

Robyn - take a deep breath, and realize things work out as they are meant to-You will be ok. Don't let it get to you. I just had a day where I was "yelled  at" by the boss and felt really demeaned by how she was talking to me. And I got really upset cos afterward I started crying. She didn't see me though. So I will be thinking of you - come here often!! You will be ok. Love, Linda F

Hi Robyn...  

I just wanted to let you know that I once had a supervisor much like the one you describe here, and the same thing happened to me.  As it turns out, she did me a great favor, because I soon got another job that was so much better and that I really, really  love.  I just know that this is probably going to turn out the same for you.  :)  

You really don't need to worry about being fired from one job... it's not like it's going to make that much of a difference on your work history, especially if you didn't work there for years.  One thing I have learned is that it is alot easier for women to have lapses in their work history than it is for men.  Try to look at this as an opportunity, and it may help you with not feeling panicked and depressed.  Good luck to you in finding a job that you will also love.  :)

Vickie and Linda,  Thanks for your kind words.  I too hope that this turns out better for me, I was in hell at my job; had to take tranquilizers just to make it through the day.  I'm still panicked, but not quite so much.  I' m trying to stare adversity in the eyes and make it back down.  Thanks again.