I lost my husband in January 2002 to lung cancer.  Going through the grieving process is so very difficult.  Now I am also dealing with Perimenopause issues on top of everything else.  Talk about a double whammy!  Some days are very difficult to get through.  I have been in counseling for over a year now and my counselor helps alot, but there are so many moments of feeling lost and alone with all of this.  I am taking it day by day as this is the best way to handle it all.  Grieving and going through Perimenopause at the same time is not a good mix.  Is there anyone else here going through the same things as me?

jan5745

Hi Jan,     Welcome to Power Surge.   I'm sorry to hear of the death of your husband.   There are women dealing with all the events of this stage of life; someone will relate to your situation.   The second year of grief can often be more difficult because people tend to forget your loss still hurts deeply.   Be good to yourself and keep posting.   Take care!  ~Helen

Oh Jan, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry about your husband. My loss does not compare to yours, in losing your life partner,but I lost a dear friend, in a terrible way, a year ago. I never knew if grieving made peri-meno worse, or vice versa, or both were just as they would have been without the other.As Helen says, we are always here to listen, so please talk to us whenever you like, if it helps.Take care of yourself, and be gentle with yourself at this time.

Beth and Helen,

Thanks so much for your kind words.

Helen, You're so right about the second year and people sometimes forgetting about the loss.  The first year I was so busy with taking care of everything, and now I have more time to think about what has really happened.  Holidays, like today make it extra hard.  Add to the fact that my period is here and my hormones are all outa wack makes it a very difficult time.  

Beth,

Any kind of loss is hard.  I never in a million years,  thought that I would be in this situation. The mix of peri and grieving sometimes co-inside with each other.  My saddest moments are at certain times of my cycle and it gets to be overwhelming at times.

I hope today was good to both of you and thanks again for your sincere words.

(Edited by jan5745 at 7:42 pm on April 20, 2003)

(((((HUGS))))) Jan. I hope you continue to find comfort  in your grief and help for your meno symptoms in Power Surge. Any time you need some support, come in and have a chat (big chat room) we can be a great distraction sometimes, if nothing else. We will share some of our Mad Meno Moments.

jimi

(Edited by jimi at 3:44 pm on April 21, 2003)

Jan, <br> &nbsp; &nbsp; I can only imagine the difficulty of the stress<br>of losing your spouse, on top of perimenopause.<br>Your attitiude of taking each day as it comes is<br>healthy. &nbsp;Holidays can also evoke grief.<br>I hope you feel better after the period passes.

chriscarol and jimi, thanks so much for your kind words!  Some days are so overwhelming it's hard to explain.... I just try to do the best I can day to day....

I hope you are taking care of yourselves!

Here's a big hug for you (((((((Jan))))))).

These ladies have given you some good advice. Come here and pour your heart out, go to the chat room, take antidepressants, do whatever you have to, just don't stay alone and dwell in your grief. My sister lost her husband two years ago to lung cancer and after the shock and busy part wore off she went into a deep depression and had to take antidepressants to come out of it. I called her at least 3 times a day just to chat and involve her in other life issues. Do you have sisters, or someone close you can unload your feelings onto? If not, come here........we're here for you.

Take care,

Kari, Thank you so much for your kind words.  It sure has been a struggle with all of this going on.

I have spent a good dela of time here this weekend looking around such. I can tell you are all a great supporting group and this is wonderful!  

Just like with your sister....the first year, after all the shock  and business wears off  is when it hits, and it is hitting pretty hard lately with me.  I feel for your sister, cuz I know what she's been through.  That is very special of you to be there for her in time of need.  My sister and mom are pretty good at keepin in touch with me, which helps.  I do have a very good friend that I can confide in and she has been a god send to me.  Now I have you here at the board, and I have been blessed here too now.

You take care of yourself too, and hopefully I can help you with some support  as well, here on the board.

Tomorrow is gonna be a tough day.  We bought some silk flowers and will spend some time at my husbands grave sight tomorrow for Fathers Day. How we wish he were here with us....He is dearly missed.  The wonderful memories of him are all that we have left now, and we have to make the best of them.

My son made it home from abroad, so at least he is home with us this weekend.  It's great having him home, as I missed him SO much for the 5 weeks that he was out of the country.  One phone call and a few emails were the only contact we had, and it was difficult not hearing his voice  but that one time.

We'll try to go out for breakfast and spend time as a family tomorrow, and just do the best we can....

&nbsp; &nbsp; Holidays classically evoke those heart rending<br>emotions caused by the death of a loved one.<br>Enjoy the time with your son. &nbsp;I remember hearing in<br>part of Bill Cosby's eulogy to his murdered son, he<br>stated how blessed they were to have known him.<br>This seems part of the memories we cherish.

Thanks Chris.....The memories are what we have now..

How are you doing?

Hi Jan

Just thought i'd say hi and i'm thinking of you.  There really is not alot i can say to make things better.  Just glab that your son made it home.  Where would we be without our kids.

Take carePauline

Thinking of you, too, Jan, in dealing with your memory of someone you lost who was so precious to you. I hope you enjoy the time with your son.

Oh Jan, life sure isn't easy. &nbsp;We're here for you!!

Pauline, Lynchmob, and Chris,

Thanks ladies...how sweet of you

Actually today has been worse than yesterday. Maybe it's because we kept busy yesterday and today I had time to think about it and reflect on everything.  I broke down a couple times, once at work , which I hate to do.......sigh.  These hormones are really giving me a tough time.  I hate this emotional roller coaster!

Here's an extra {{{hug}}} for you, Jan, to help you through this day!

Lynchmob, Aw You're so sweet, thanks!  Here's a {{HUG}} for you too.... Just because!

How are you doing?

Today seems better, so far at least, so that is a plus.

(((( )))))) HUGS for you from me, Jan. All anniversaries and specal days are going to be hard, especially at first. They tell us it gets easier, and I'm sure it must in time.Take good care of yourself, Jan :)Love,

Hi Beth, and thank you for the hugs,  and support {{HUGS}} back to you.

Yes, most deffinately the special occassions are always extra hard.

I miss him SO much....Words can't explain it.  

Not having him here to talk to, hold me, hear his laugh, see his smile,  and the list goes on.....is all very hard.

Throw in peri and all the emotions that goes with it,  along with grieving, and it's overwhelming at times.

I have learned many things.  The most important one being......

Don't ever take anything or anyone for granted, as you never know when it can be taken away from you.

I hope you have a good day........Remember to stop and smell the roses

I agree with you Jan. We should make the most of the good times, spend time with the people we care about, let them know they mean a lot to us. Sadly, life is too short, so we can't waste it.Hope you have good day.

What a valuable lesson you have shared with us, Jan. It is so true that we take so much for granted. Sometimes when I feel in a complaining mood I just say, STOP! Think of all the things you DO have that others don't! And when I began to think along those lines, I realize how blessed I really am. Thanks for sharing with us, Jan. Here's hoping each day gets a little better.

Jan,I hope you will get professional help if your grief begins to totally overwhelm you.  So often people try to "tough it out" or think they can handle it on their own, and it just isn't possible sometimes.  Talking to a professional can help put things into perspective and gives you someone to talk to that isn't emotionally involved in your loss.  Sometimes we are so busy comforting others, that we forget to comfort ourselves.  

I've heard it said that you need to complete a full year before the grief begins to fade - you need to go through all the seasons and all the holidays and anniversaries before you can start to heal.  My heart goes out to you  and I'll include you in my prayers.

Oh Jan,<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I've already told my husband, I'd miss him madly if<br>he died. &nbsp;I'm quite sensitive, and the lady across the<br>street died, around Christmas. &nbsp;Except for a passing<br>hello, we didn't know each other well. &nbsp;I did notice her<br>poor husband didn't sleep at the house for months,<br>since I only saw signs of him seldomly. &nbsp;I could<br>only imagine, how terribly heartbroken he must <br>have been to avoid even staying in the house.<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; Many years ago, my sister's 21 year old son<br>committed suicide. &nbsp;She healed, and so shall you.<br>My heart goes out to you. &nbsp;Holidays and<br>anniversaries will likely always be reminders.<br>You sound like you were blessed with a wonderful<br>marriage. &nbsp;Maybe a journal in which you speak with<br>your husband could be healing. &nbsp;Each person<br>handles grief in their own manner, within their own<br>time frame. &nbsp;Counseling could be helpful, perhaps.<br>Did you enjoy the time with your son?

Oh yes, you are in counseling. &nbsp;Sorry, I forgot. &nbsp;I<br>still say let your grief and perimenopause run<br>their course. Death and perimenopause can make<br>us realize, how much is truly out of our control in<br>this fleeting journey, called life.

Wow, Thanks for all of your responses and thoughtfulness ladies. They are much appreciated

Beth, You hit it right on the head!  Our lives get so busy sometimes, that we can forget to take that time.....How are things going with you?

Lynchmob,  The important thing is, that you DO stop and think, about it and that is wonderful!   I count my blessings alot more now than I used to, that's for sure.  How are things going with you?  Taking good care of yourself I hope.

Liz,  I have been in counseling for 15 months now, and my counselor has been wonderful.  I did finally break down and try an anti depressent a couple weeks ago, but had a terrible reaction from it, so I am going to try another route (vitamins, relaxation, etc) which will hopefully help these emotional times.  I have completed the first year of grief, and it was a difficult year for sure.  Going into the second year is hard too, because everything has slowed down, and I am not constantly dealing with all of the legalities, medical payments etc.  Also people tend to get back to their normal lives and come around less often now.  This all gives me more time to think and be sad at times, which makes me realize how much I miss him still.  I tell ya one thing.. you learn who your real friends are after something like this happens...Those that really care, still keep in touch, those that don't drift away, and that's another thing that is hard to deal with.  How are you coping with everything?  Not having to many tough times I hope??

Chris, You're on the right track.  Keep telling the ones you love, how much you love them.  You can't say it enough.  I'm sure your neighbors heart IS breaking, and I can feel his pain..it hurts!  I am verry sorry to hear about your sisters son... She has had to go through this as well, and knows that it takes alot of time to heal.  My heart  goes out to her....  My son is still here...will be till August, and it's WONDERFUL having him home again!  Thanks for asking about him.  I know you have issues that you are dealing with too now, and I hope and pray that you can overcome them one step at a time.  Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you along with this ok? My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Please take care of yourselves.  It's good to know that we can come here and be around others that are truly understanding of what we all go through with this wicked thing called Meno...

Today has been a very tough day.  Holidays always are.  Kids out doing their own thing, and I haven't been feeling well enough to venture out.  It's period time once again, with heavy flow, cramps galore, D,  and the emotions took over today. It's times like these that makes the grieving so much worse.  I miss my husband so much and have shed alot of tears today. The lonliness s*cks........

Remember to tell your husbands/boyfriends that you love them, and remember to stop and smell the roses.  Be grateful for everything that you have been blessed with, as you never know when something tragic will happen that will change your life forever........

I have met alot of wonderful supportive women here and I thank you for being so caring. It makes it easier to cope from day to day when we all have someone to lean on during difficult times.  

Jan--I'm so sorry today was as difficult as it was.  I'm sending prayers for you and yours and hoping that the ache eases and that you are feeling better. We had a decent day but I blew up at just about everyone in my whole family a few hours ago and now feel like crap. Did anyway but seeing your post reminded me of how much I take for granted.

Hugs,Vicki G

Jan,<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;I know you were having tummy troubles and <br>your period. &nbsp;Once the period passes I think<br>you'll feel better. &nbsp;Holidays will be rough,<br>but time will diminish the heartache of losing<br>your soulmate. &nbsp;Let those cleansing tears flow.<br>Do something nice for yourself today, Jan.

Jan

Just thought i'd say hello and that i'm thinking of you at this difficult time. As chris says do something nice for yourself today. Talk to you soon.

Take carePauline

Jan-

I told you this in the insta chat but you really inspire me.  Here you are, raising your kids, getting through all the muck, and still taking the time to make new friends here at PS and offer advice and support.

I can't vacuum the house when I'm on my period because I feel so crummy, I CANNOT imagine grieving for a much loved husband.

He was certainly one lucky guy to have you.

There is nothing I can say to offer you comfort.  I wish there was.  I am so very sorry.......

Jan,I'm sorry you're having a rough day, but just remember it's normal and okay to feel this way.    I remember one time when I was in counseling for anxiety/depression (this was years before perimenopause) and my therapist kept telling me "it's okay to be anxious".  I was  fighting the anxiety, and was so anxious about being anxious I was keeping the cycle going.   It took me awhile to get there, and at times I still forget, but by allowing myself to be anxious at times it made it easier to accept.   Maybe your grieving is the same way,  allow yourself to grieve when you want to and don't fight it, then eventually it will ease.

I can't imagine what I'd do if I lost my husband or daughter, and since I tend to be a worry wart, I worry about that all the time.  So I am always telling them I love them.  

Take care, and maybe tomorrow will be easier.

Vicki, Chris, Pauline, Leanne, and Liz.....

Thanks to all of  you for your thoughtfulness. It's nice to be able to come here and tell it like it is, and that's just what I did. Letting these feelings out is better than holding them in, which I tend to do at times. I hope your days are going better for you.  If not, please know that I am here for you all as well, when you need that shoulder,  someone to listen to, vent to cry to, or have a few laughs with.

To make matters worse, we were without power and water from 4:30am Saturday till 9:00pm last night. 2 1/2 days of that alone is enough to drive one up the wall.  Talk about a ROUGH weekend!

Vicki, We all take things for granted at times.  Being what I have been through has made me realize that not everyone we care for will always be around, so I try real hard now to make the best of what I have.  I hope your day is going better.

Chris, Yes, it all hit at once and I was having one of those overwhelming days.  My period has passed, the tummy troubles have lessened, and for a few days now hopefully things will calm down for me a bit. I know you have alot of issues you are facing yourself and you always amaze me with your support for others.  Keep on keepin on, kiddo!

Pauline,  If the weather would have co-operated a little better, I would have done somethin nice for me.  I will take a rain check and do that soon.  I hope things with you have calmed down a bit too?

Leanne,   As the saying goes, you can never have enough friends, right?  You ladies here understand what support is all about , and give your share of it.  We all have to move along from day to day.  Sometimes it's harder than others, but having someone that can help us thru the tough times helps tremendously.  Thanks for all of your kind words. I was the one lucky enough to find such a wonderful man.  I honestly don't think there are to many out there as wonderful as he was.  He tought me alot, and the memories are what I have to hold on to. Continue being you.  I know you have your share of issues as well, so hang in there, and we'll ALL get through these trying times....

Liz,  I went / go through anxiety at times. It comes with the territory I think. Matter of fact, they wanted to treat me with zanax, but I was afraid to take it, cuz I didn't wanna get hooked on it. I am beginning to have better days thrown in here and there, and if these continue, I will make it.  Sounds like you are making progress and that's what it's all about, no matter what it takes to get there.  I am glad to hear that you tell your loved ones that you love them....Those 3 words are very powerful, and even more so when you really mean it. Take care of you, and the rest will fall into place.

You ladies are great..... Thanks for bein so supportive!

Hi jan

Sorry to read of your troubles, but glab all is ok now.

Missed you the weekend.  Hope you are feeling a little better now period has finished.   Talk soon.

Take carePauline

Pauline,

Thanks..... I missed you all!  I think the bad weather is over for the time being.  How have ya been?  We need to catch up soon!  Period is over, but I am thrown right back into this emotional cycle once it ends.. can't win.

Hi Jan...and everyone!

Since I am new to the board, I am slowly getting through all of the threads and found this one to really touch my heart.

Jan, I can only imagine your heartache.  This is one of my greatest fears in life, I do believe.  That my husband will become gravely ill and I will lose my bestfriend.  

Five years ago, my father passed away and left my mother alone.  They were married 51 years and were still very much in love.  I guess my grieving for losing Daddy was not so much that I would never see him again, but mostly that it left my mother alone.  I can remember in my grief, waking up at night and praying that she was sleeping peacefully and not suffering alone in grief over the man she literally took every breath for.   I know that God has been her main source of strength and if it weren't for her faith she would have crumbled.  I can feel it, even if I am not with her, the days that are the hardest for her.  

What I would like to share with you, Jan, is something that my mom did to help her in her grieving process.  Our family strongly believes in the hereafter.  We are Christians and Daddy was one of the finest.  Our reception of people at his funeral revealed a great deal of his love for fellow man and telling them about the Lord.  Some stories we had never heard before and they lifted us tremendously. Also, Daddy was a journal-keeper.  My mom took this up after Daddy died.  Her journaling entails writing about her days to Daddy.  She says this has helped her feel a closeness to him and that she feels he is positively aware of her communications to him.  It helps her when she is not sure what to do in certain situations.  Daddy was our corner stone and pillar of strength.  We all went to him with our problems and he made the hardest of things seem so simple.  Knowing and loving him for so many years helps Mom to believe that Daddy can still convey to her what to do in hard times.  It may sound silly...but this is where she finds strength to go on.

I also keep a journal of my days.  Not specifically to a person, but sometimes my writings take on prayerful thoughts and requests that I have in raising my children and keeping up with what's at hand.  Sometimes life can be unbearable and there is no desire to "TALk" about it.  But there is something about writing it all down and being able to read over it.  I can almost find sense and reason to the baffling situations if I am able to put those things down on paper.  Having a forum such as this is also a very good avenue to vent, search and find some sort of peace in knowing that there are others that truly understand and can relate to your sorrows.  

Jan, there are no words that can take the sorrow away that losing a loved one brings.  I have learned in the last five years (after a life of skipping through a field of daisies) that life inevitably brings about death.  The only peace I can find in that fact is that I KNOW I will see my loved ones again.  Death is just one experience that those left behind can use to make them stronger even though it leaves us so shattered in the beginning of those days that follow.  It's that final phase of life that brings us into living for an eternity.

I'll pray for you Jan.  Loneliness and not feeling well is an unfortunate place to be.  Hang in there and hold close the memories and hopes and dreams that you and your husband had together.  He is and always will be with you.

Prissy

(Edited by PrissyPause at 12:22 pm on July 14, 2003)

(Edited by PrissyPause at 12:24 pm on July 14, 2003)

PrissyPause,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful words and words of encouragement.  This is the one thing that I don't think most of us think about happening especially when we are younger.  The sadness, lonliness and emptiness that overcomes us when this happens is unexplainable.  

I am glad to hear that your mom has kept up with the journal... good for her!  Anything we can do that helps us cope is a plus for sure.

I have thought about a journal as well, but so far have not attempted it.  I do write to him when I feel the need to talk to him  tho and that does seem to help me.  I would like to put something together for the kids to have when they get older... about my life with my loving husband, their loving father.

Remember to say "I LOVE YOU" to the ones you love as much as you can...and cherish the moments you have with them.  Also remember all the good times you share.... as you are making memories that no one can take away form you.

Thanks again for your thoughtfulness....

Take care of yourself!

Hi there Jan, I just woke up real early today and continued in what I have been doing the last 2 weeks..feeling sorry for myself...feeling sorry for things in my life...then I got on line and read your posts...I am so sorry for your loss, sorry for your childrens loss as well.  You sound like a caring and giving person and I hope and pray life gets easier for you soon.  Your posts and those of the others here have made me realize I have been wasting a few weeks by not focusing on my blessings...hopefully that will change today by all I have just read...I have alot to be grateful for but I have been in a pit and been wallowing there, instead of pulling myself out or doing and focusing on the good things.  Thank you for your sharing and I hope and pray you have a good day today.love you all here at PS...tina

Tina,

We all have our ups and downs. The downs are no fun and bring out the sad things in life that have happened to us and the things that we have to go through.  It's ok to have a pity party for yourself once in awhile...I think they help us grow and make us realize that sometimes life is not as easy as it seems it should be. We can't always be happy, but we CAN work through the tough times, and try to make things better and or make us stronger in some way. I hope your day turned around for you yesterday and that today and the days to come are better for you too.  Hang in there!  {{HUGS}} for you Tina

I have been on vacation this week and it has been a much needed time away from work.  The kids and I spent a few days at our camper on the lake, which was wonderful.  We had alot of fun and enjoyed each others company away from all the hussle and bussle of every day life.  Of course it seems I can't be on vacation without having my period, so that has been a pain to deal with.  Can't have to much of a good thing now can we? sigh.......

This coming week is going to be a tough one, as tomorrow (Monday) will be 18 months since my husband passed away.  It seems like forever yet again it seems like yesterday.  Then on Wednesday is his Birthday, so we have 2 difficult days to get through just 2 days apart.  I am not sure how I will handle it, but I do know that this will bring back so many memories.  Some good memories but the sad ones will be there too, unfortunately.  I will go to his grave, feel close to him and pour my heart out to him, and grieve.  Letting these emotions out are a must, and I sometimes hold them back.  On days like these, tho I do let them take over as it does help the healing process.

I want to thank all of you for your continued support.  I have met some very nice, sweet, caring, thoughtful and supportive friends here in the short time that I have been posting on the boards. I have been fortunate to have gotten to know some of you better through chats and emails, and I so appreciate your Friendships.

Take care of yourselves

What a great site this is.....

Love ya!

Hi Jan

Just to say i'm thinking about you on this difficult day.Just take it slowly and do what ever you need to get you though it.  Cry if you need to and don't feel bad.

Love Pauline

Jan-

Today will not be easy, I am sure.    I am so sorry.  I know how much you loved Denny.

Hopefully you will be able to celebrate his LIFE today..........after getting to know you better, I know there is much to celebrate.

My thoughts are with you today, and always.

Oh Jan,<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; Grieve your heart out today. &nbsp;Remember how<br>you were blessed to have many years of a<br>wonderful marriage. &nbsp;Some people never<br>have experienced that love in their lifetime.<br>You must miss him terribly. &nbsp;

praying for you today Jan.

tina

Pauline, Leanne, Chris and Tina.........

Thanks ladies! Those tough days can be brutal.  I made it through the 2 days ok.  Did alot of talking that helped so much.  Was even able to get some laughs in which always helps too.

I hope you are all taking care of yourselves!

Oh yes, laughter the best medicine. &nbsp;My sister's<br>son committed suicide long ago. &nbsp;My mother<br>was particularly afraid of dying during her recent<br>surgery. &nbsp;As we waited for mom to be wheeled<br>into the O.R. &nbsp;My sister said , &quot;If you don't make it<br>Mom, when you get to heavan, tell Doug(sister's son)<br>that he's he big trouble.''

Chris,Now THAT takes guts!  

Speaking of guts, mine are pretty messed up this week, how are yours doin, any better?

Jan,<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;Ugh, the gut. &nbsp;I'm now trying some Levsin, since<br>the Librax wasn't helping. My tummy seems<br>better tonight. &nbsp;I hope you feel better. &nbsp;I'm<br>going on a cruise, so hopefully I'll be able<br>to eat. &nbsp;This was one of the longer and severe<br>bouts. &nbsp;Fighting with my son doesn't help<br>either. &nbsp;I love him dearly, but the kid is an<br>incredible slob. &nbsp;He'll be back to school<br>at the end of the month, and then of course<br>I'll miss the comic relief. &nbsp;<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; What do you eat when your intestines revolt?<br>It seems like everything exacerbates my<br>intestines. &nbsp;Do you have any bleeding with the<br>UC? &nbsp;Were you the one that mentioned Pepto<br>Bismal helped. &nbsp;Well, I'm finally packed and<br>can't wait to ENJOY. &nbsp;Just hope this stomach<br>cooperates. &nbsp;It use to cease at the end of my<br>period, but in peri anything goes.

Chris,Sorry to hear that the Librax didn't do more for you ( Hopefully the Levsin will help, and get them to settle down, and soon!  Going away on a cruise sounds sooo nice and relaxing so your gut best behave for you!  Don't want them takin the fun out of this trip!  

I can relate to the kids issues as well.  Any kind of stress just exaborates this even more, and teens have a way of adding that extra stress to our lives don't they?  My son is going back in a few weeks too.  Have loved having him home for the summer, and will miss him dearly when he's gone and back on his own.....

What do I eat..... Well that is a good question.  When I am in a flare, even if it is a mini flare, it doesn't matter what I eat....my gut's not happy.  Greasy foods, dairy, fruit and vegies always are tough on my gut when it's in an uproar.  I try to stay away from these when it's at it's worst, but as you know....part of PMS brings on the food cravings and I sometimes...... ok, alot of times... end up eating the wrong things, cuz I am dumb...LOL More bland foods are best for me when things ain't goin so well for the gut, but alot of times it just dont matter what I eat.....  

I have never had any bleeding with mine, Thank Goodness, but many do.... Have you been one of the unfortunate ones with this added trouble?  When is your next colonoscopy due? I have to schedule that apt soon, and am so not lookng forward to it.

Pepto is the thing that helps me yes, but I didn't use that until my dx was changed from UC to MC (microscopic colitis). I ran across a site that talked about studies being done with it for MC, and some found success with it, so I thought I would give it a try.  I was on asacol for 2 years, which didn't do squat for me, so this was something I wanted to try, and it did put me into total remission for a whole year, which was bliss!  These mini flares are lasting about a week beyond my period now, and never used to!

I really do hope you are able to enjoy this cruise.  Some sun and R&R will be so good for you!

Take care of yourself!

It's been a real tough week for me.  I seem to be in a rut that I can't crawl out of.  My son left for college last weekend, and this is part of why I am so down.  He's so far away from home.  Was great having him home for the summer, and I miss him so much already. So many things are running through my mind lately, and it's all overwhelming.  I feel so lost and alone. These feelings come out when I am PMSing and seem to over rule everything. I even called my counselor and set up an appointment for next week.  I wish he were here to give me that hug that I need so bad from him. I'm hoping this passes soon. I just had to come here and vent about this.........Thanks for listening