Hi Ladies,

I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but my anxiety always gets worse when we are away on vacation.  I love planning the trip and getting ready, but once we are there I find it very hard to relax.  We are in our RV, so I should feel comfortable, but I'm always a nervouse wreck.  Every little ache and pain and symptom I have at home that I can usually ignore, seems much worse on vacation and I get paranoid it's serious and worry about where all the nearest hospitals are, and how long it takes to get there.  All the "what if's" start running through my head and they're hard to shut off. At the first twinge of anxiety I start to get more anxious and panicy, and I think it's because I feel like I should be relaxed and having a great time because we're "on vacation".  I'm usually okay if we keep busy, but if my husband wants to relax around the campground, it's almost like I feel trapped and there's never enough to do. At home I can do housework or work in the garden to keep busy, but not while we're vacationing. I could take the truck and go off by myself, but I don't enjoy doing that and that causes more anxieties.  If it gets too bad I take my kavakava and lay down and do deep breathing and muscle relaxation, or if I'm really wired I take a long-walk around the campground.  Sometimes this helps.

Do any of you have this problem?  I hope I'm not the only one with these fears and if any of you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them.

We leave July 7th.Liz51

Hi Liz ,Not to worry about being the only one with this. We got a ton of them here , me included. Could you bring something with you that takes concentration? I take my crocheting when I go somewhere (sometimes even to a waiting room). It takes a little of it away. Just anything to make your mind forget about that. Main thing is try to remind yourself it's just the meno and you are fine. When I have real bad days I must say that over and over and over. It really does help me when I say that. Guess it's kind of self-hypnosis.I can only suggest that you bring things that will keep you the busiest-hobby stuff, reading, creative projects -stuff like that. I hope you truly have a wonderful vacation. Oh one more thing, put things you enjoy seeing at home in the RV so it seems more like you are at home, plants, dishes, pictures, etc. Then it will seem maybe like your at home but just moving it around with you? Well, just a thought anyway, Get a good tan and make us all jealous :biggrin:hugs, jeanne

I SO relate to this! Going on holiday used to be a nightmare. It was something to do with unknown places, unknown faces, not knowing what to expect, and none of my usual boltholes and safety valves. These are some of the things that I found helped me:Why not start to take kava kava NOW? I used to take it for a couple of months before we went away. If you take it between now and the holiday, and it should have built up nicely by the time you go (it is quite safe to take continuously for 4 months). Also, have you got any 'doing' hobbies, like painting, knitting, crochet? If not - learn one! Knitting is a great  absorber and many hours can pass while you wrestle with sweaty bits of wool and strange pattern instructions! The main thing is to find something that keeps you busy - almost certainly reading WON'T do it; it has to be something you do with your hands. One year I made a rag rug out of sacks and left over material bits, and one year I taught myself to play some simple tunes on the guitar. Take a mini personal stereo and radio which you can play at night without disturbing anyone (if you wake up during the wee small hours!) This got me through many an anxious moment - I even had myself wired into it during trips to the supermarket!Make a point to find out where the nearest doctor/hospital is - you are not being 'silly', just looking after yourself. You will feel better for knowing where help can be found (even though you secretly know you won't need it!) Also, have a mobile phone (I think you call them cell phones?) with you at all times, and you will feel fine. Remember you are your own best friend - so look after yourself as if you WERE your best friend. You'll be fine....

Oh how familiar your story is.  I do fairly well now (we are campers also) because my RV is like a second home for me.  All my own personal things that make me feel more comfortable. I agree with the other gals about bringing things that will occupy your time. I always have some needlework, books,(always my Dr. Claire Weekes books to refer to when I'm anxious) and I also find Search A Word or Circle Word Puzzles very occupying when I am too anxious to read a book. You need to concentrate to find the word but don't have to try to remember anything.  I have suggested these puzzles to many of my clients and they have been helpful for them as well.  Knowing where to find medical attention is not a bad thing either...its just good precautionary tactics. Anyone could need a quick trip to an ER while on vacation and you will know where to go. I agree if Kavakava helps with anxiety take it beforehand so that you start out more relaxed. Mostly be understanding and gentle with yourself as many folks have problems leaving home for vacations even if they don't have anxiety on a regular basis. Vacations are listed as very stressful on the "Stress Factor LIst" even though we expect them to be fun and relaxing.  You have lots of company so try to relax and enjoy yourself and we'll all be cheering for you.

Thanks for all the helpful hints.  I do always have my Dr. Claire Weekes books and my Edmund Bourne workbook with me.  I don't have much luck knitting or crocheting, but I'll give the word game books a try, I do like those.  I usually don't like to take my kavakava unless I'm really anxious.  I use it like Xanax to bring the anxiety level down, but haven't used it on a daily basis other than to take one before bed each evening.  I might give my naturopathic doctor a call and see what she says.  I remember last year during my daughter's high school graduation she said I could take up to 5 a day, so maybe one in the morning to take the edge off and then I could take one if the anxiety got worse.  My best defense is to keep busy and not think about how I'm feeling.   It does help to know others have this problem too.  It is so frustrating to be on vacation and feeling anxious, and looking at all these others who seem so "normal" and relaxed. It always makes me envious.

I'm with you on that envious feeling Liz. I would love to go further than my immediate area and not feel the flight and anxiety feelings. But maybe the people who can do that have other problems that we would be glad WE don't have. :)Anyway , do your best to enjoy yourself. Remember it's just the meno and tell it to LEAVE YOU THE HECK ALONE  when you're on vacation :)hugs, jeanne

I'm sure we'll have a good time, I'm not anxious ALL the time.  We are traveling to Amish country in Pennsylvania, an area we really enjoy and haven't been to in several years, and then to our favorite campground in Virginia for a few days.  While I'm looking forward to the trip, I imagine it will be the last one we'll go on as a family.  Our daughter's 19 now, and I was surprised she was going with us this year.  I hope I don't let the thought that this might be the last trip we'll all be together overshadow everything else.  So many changes in our lives now...it's no wonder we're all basket cases.

We don't leave for a week so I'll still be around the Board for awhile.  

Hugs to all,Liz51

Sister LIz....Your trip sounds great....to Amish country, wow how exciting I think I have only seen this on tv....as the sisters said take some knitting, crochet, writing materials or a good novel with you - when you feel the tension coming on...no doubt you will be so busy with all the family etc., etc., and everything will be just great.....one other thing you could imagine all your meno sisters with you on the trip (now that could make you worse) :biggrin:)Take care and have a great holiday for the 7th.

Morning all,

I sure can relate to all this travel anxiety.  I guess that's why I don't go anywhere except with hubby.  My mom called me last night and wants me to take a trip to see my neice, my neice is like my sister because my mom and dad have raised her since she was two and at this age the doctors discovered she was a diabetic,she's 24 now and very home sick and when she gets like this she doesn't look after herself very good and gets run down.  My mom is a worry wart and wants to go spend a couple of days with her and wants me to come along too.  My neice is about a 5 hour car drive away and while the drive doesn't make me nervous the thoughts of staying in a tiny little house with her, her live in, my mom and two lab dogs does.Had to take something to calm me down last night, told mom I could probably do one night but not two.  Don't really want to be away from my hubby for two long.I know just the thoughts of it are getting me all worked up and once I get there I'll be fine.  I do want to do this for my neice because she means the world to me and plus the fact that when she was diagnosed (sp?) as diabetic we almost lost her, she was in a coma for a week, the doctor that looked at her told my mom she was exhausted, just take her home and put here to bed. Ended up rushing her to the hospital in the middle of the night.Any way I guess I just need to unload and know that I will most likely be fine,  I'll have to take the clonazepam with me and duck into the john and have one I guess.Thanx for listening to my somewhat jumbled post, my mind is like Oprah's song, it tends to run on. :wink:

You know Cookie, I find that worrying about any trip is the worst part - far worse than the actual trip.  I understand what you mean about traveling with someone other than your husband, but I would think you'd be okay with your mom.  Does she understand your travel problems and anxiety?  I have one friend who talks about her and I going on an overnight shopping trip, and while it sounds like fun, I don't know if I can handle an overnight.  I think I could, because she totally understands my problem and if I woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to go home, I have no doubt we'd load up and head home.  I find that it helps me tremendously to let the ones you're with know that you have anxiety problems,  that way you don't have to "control" it and hide it as much.  Don't go in the bathroom to pop a pill, just take it.  Don't hide how you feel, that's half the problem.

Every year on the first Saturday of December there is a group of about 8 women who go on a shopping trip.  We've done this for years.  While these women are "friends", none of them are what you'd call close confidants, so they don't know about my anxiety problems except in the most casual of discussions.  We usually go to the city about 30 miles away which is no problem, but last year they suggested we go to Albany, NY, which is about 3 hours away.  I was somewhat anxious leading up to the trip worrying that I'd be so far from home if I did have an anxiety attack, and it would be difficult to get home if I needed to. We also split up when we get in the mall, and the thought of being in a huge mall,  by myself was a little intimidating too. I thought about not going, but decided I'd take the chance.  We all piled into one vehicle and left early in the morning, and we got home around midnight.  We had a blast!  I was fine all day, and had only twinges of anxiety.     My point is, that the anticipation of the trip was 10 times worse than the trip itself.

This trip with your mom sounds like a great start.  I'm sure if you had trouble after one night your mom would come home.  I bet you'd be just fine, and as I said, don't hide your anxiety from the others and I think you'll feel better.

Hi Liz and Cookie:

Liz I thought what you did was wonderful, and you most likely only had twinges of anxiety, because you were having a great time and didn't even remember that anxiety existed.  Like you say Liz, the anticipation and the worry makes us tense before we even set out.

So sorry about your niece, Cookie, it must be so upsetting for her and all of you that she has diabetes so young. Still you going there will make a change of scenery for you, your niece will be happy to see you and you'll most likely feel so good with yourself for going in the end (one night or two).

Your mother sounds like my mother-in-law - worry is her middle name and :wink: I'm getting anxious because I'm not going anywhere.

Save journey when you go Cookie and a good weekend to both of you.

Barbiexxxxxxxxx

Dear Liz and Barbie :wink:

Thanx so much for your response.  I guess somewhere in the back of my mind to do know that the thoughts of traveling make me more anxious.  It's what I choose to do with those thoughts.  I can look at this as excitement or fear......think I'll choose the excitement.A few of my close friends know about my anxiety but my mom is another whole ball game.  She has never gone though any thing like this so it's hard to explain to her.  When I was at my worst with anxiety and couldn't eat......nothing but a rack of bones....she said to me "you look awful, you look older than me" ......that was tough to take.  I am getting better but it does take time.  I will take my clonazepam with me and sometimes just knowing that I have it and can take it if I need to is enough to see me though.My neice (the one I'm going to visit) takes Effexor but she told mom that she wasn't taking it anymore....mom thinks she is just fine now.  It's just hard to talk to her about things like this.  I didn't dare tell her I was seeing a psychologist....she would really think I'd gone off the deep end.  I'm not seeing the shrink anymore but did so for about 4 months.  Don't really know if he helped or not but it was refreshing to have a none judgmental point of view.

Thanx again for your concern, think I'll just keep it to one night for now......who know's we may go another time and I'll stay longer......I do know it will make her day to see us both.  She calls my mom, mom also because mom raised us both..with dad's help of course.  I'll think positivly about this and make it into a wonderful weekend.  Hugs to you gals xxxooooxxxoooxxxooo:o:o:o