lulu
Sep 18 2001, 08:53 PM
greetings: i just discovered this web site. will try to make this brief, although i have much to explore with people who are interested in menopause. i had the classic perimenopausal symptoms: sleeplessness, memory loss, fatigue, hot flashes (not problematic since i detest air-conditioning and purposely live without it--in the state of florida). what happened when i actually entered "the pause" is that, first of all, i became the most creative i have been in my life in every single area from cooking to writing to understanding to "seeing" to, well, just in every aspect. in fact, i began to feel genius in my understanding of my purpose. (for those of you who have read the brilliant rebecca wells' book "divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood"--i happened to read that book at the same time this was happening & this is my ya-ya name: genius, menopausal, white oprah ya-ya lulu). anyway, coupled with my feelings of "genius," i began to also get feelings of immense anxiety because i thought that my death was forthcoming immediately. i'm the type of person who is aware of my mortality and have been for quite some time; it was the immediacy and forewarning of death that created the anxiety. one other thing--these genius feelings that i was having unfolded in a way that, based on my conversations with others, can only be described as hallucinogenic and psychedelic in nature. i cannot relate firsthand, having never taken substances that, allegedly, produce these reactions. i'm not sure how to describe it except to say that i understood every single cd that i listened to (ranging from bob dylan to mozart to gershwin); i understood every painting i viewed; i understood every piece of literature that i read; ad infinitum. just going to target around easter and seeing all of the products on display in their pastel colors blew my mind. there's more to my story that i'll go into later (if anyone else can relate). my question is: DOES ANYONE OUT THERE UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? DID YOU GO THROUGH IT? thank you.
Pamelova
Sep 19 2001, 12:06 PM
Well, Lulu, all I can say is that I too have experienced the "genius" you describe. Suddenly I am reading Sufi poetry and understanding it with a clarity that I never thought possible! I have been plagued with maladies including muscle aches and pains, numb feet and legs, bloating (my belly is the size of a basketball), fatigue, hot flashes and sleeplessness. And yet, there is this feeling I have that I am on the verge of greatness - that any minute I will discover something new and important - that I will possess an understanding and wisdom about life that will see me through any difficulites I might face. This has already happened in so many little ways. Since passing through the gates of menopause (I had a hysterectomy last December) I feel like sharing my experience with other women and that I should comfort them and let them know they are not alone and that this time of their lives, while sometimes daunting, can be a magical, mystery tour (thank you beatles). As for psychedlic experiences ... hmmm, i've had those all along (not the chemical kind, I too, never took drugs - probably because I was just naturally inclined to psychedelic experiences). Hope this helps lulu. BTW, I have read "Divine Secrets" and treasure it!! My ya-ya name is Queen Wildwood Flower (I opted for something a bit more regal). Vivi lives!! -- Pamelova
lulu
Sep 20 2001, 09:39 AM
dear pamelova--thank you so much for responding. i've always been overly sensitive, so imagine what has happened since i entered "the pause"--therefore, i was feeling a little anxious seeing how many people had viewed my post but had not responded. of course in typical menopausal fashion, i misspelled the word genius, and as a computer illiterate, i don't know how to go back and correct it. it is reassuring to hear that someone else has the genius feeling too--with all of the dreadful things about menopause, i've found that my new insights and my sometimes inappropriate and uncontrollable laughter are truly a saving grace for me. unfortunately, because of the extreme anxiety that was part of my newfound genius i made the decision to try hrt. i am having so many side effects that i've already quit it twice (some like the ones you mentioned: bloated stomach, numbness in my legs and arms, exaggerated mood swings, depression, more anxiety--plus, i've lost the genius feeling and i want it back--not to mention the psychedelic experiences which were wonderful--just exhausting to have them 24 hours a day!) i'm doing everything naturally that i can think of from exercising daily, being outside, resting, eating a healthy diet, involved in a supportive relationship with my sainted husband and sweetest dog in the world. i just wish the anxiety that sometimes washes over me would stay away--that seems to be my biggest problem right now--aside from the size of my stomach--but you've given me hope when you say yours is the size of a basketball--i'm hoping maybe in the future mine will be that small (hey--we've got to laugh or how else will we survive this!) one more thing, i've been an exceedingly quiet person my whole life to this point and, as you can see, i've suddenly become a talker. thanks, pamelova. all the best!
Aunt B
Sep 20 2001, 10:48 AM
Well Ladies,
I don't know about the genius part but, I too am trying to go all natural. My stomach is the size of a basketball, have bloating, anxiety, etc. etc. etc. the list goes on.
And yes I do have this uncontrollable laugh sometimes. Don't quite know what to attribute this too.Weird things do happen in menopause.
LOL
Huggssss :smile:
MichelleD
Sep 20 2001, 11:22 AM
LuLu
I really enjoyed reading your posts. You cracked me up! You have a wonderful way with words........ I have to say since being peri, I am experiencing a wakening of my creative side. I have always been very results oriented "down to business" numbr crunching type. Now I am enjoyinggardening, dancing, spiritual fun things. As far as genius goes, I always think I see things more clearly than others and my way is the best way (LOL)..........
PS I loved the Ya Ya Sisterhood. I was actually able to tolerate some of my moms shortcomings after reding that book. I'm looking for a sequel.
jeanne
Sep 20 2001, 02:49 PM
Well, I had to take a couple of days just to figure out what was going on here so I guess I can rule out the genius feeling :biggrin: But I do like the fact that you all are happier. I say whatever makes you happy is fantastic especially during menopause.I feel I have usually seen things clearly, maybe too clearly at times.Almost like too tuned into people and their feelings while overlooking my own wellbeing.Very interesting concept here though.hugs, jeanne
Snowbird
Sep 20 2001, 03:09 PM
jeanne, my pal, in meno:biggrin:I was waiting for more posts here....before, my own insight....cause....I didn't seem to have any, on this subjedt;)
I must have read these posts on "genius" a dozens times and felt more confused each time....not that it takes much!! Meno-fog-senior-moments,'n all :biggrin:However, I think I've gotten the gist of it....once reading it through again!!!I'll admit tho'...it's not in my ball park!! I certainly don't consider myself of having experienced the genius, described here!! Then again, the day is young!!
Like Michelle said, it cracked me up!! In a non-offensive way!! I found it interesting!!Like you jeanne, I do feel myself seeing some things more clearly....and I think for me....it's because of my experiences, and my contacts with folks, on a daily basis!!Genius....nah....not me!! I always, teased about being perfect...smart...clever, etc.,etc....truth is, I'm just a gal, in meno....learning....and growing....doing the best I can with what I've got...in a humble way....cause....the more I've been learning....the more I find out I still have to learn!!Like you said, whatever makes a person happy!! I just take it a day at a time!!
Godspeed, y'all!!
((((Hugs))))~*Snowy*~
Joa
Sep 20 2001, 03:41 PM
WHAT?????? Am I reading this correctly?????? SNOWBIRD ISN'T PERFECT????????
PLEASE, TELL ME IT ISN'T SO!!!!! 
JoAnne
Snowbird
Sep 20 2001, 03:47 PM
Oh HUSH!! :biggrin:I was hoppin' no one would notice!! HeHe!!(((((Huggers))))) ~*Snowy*~
jeanne
Sep 20 2001, 08:08 PM
She is perfectly imperfect :biggrin:
hugs, jeanne (hiding my perfection from the world)
Carol S from PA
Sep 21 2001, 08:10 AM
LuLu: Thanks for starting an interesting topic. I'm not sure that I've had a rebirth, but I do have a different perspective on life after going through this. After years of taking care of a husband, children, home, and being the "go to person" at work, I've learned to put the unimportant things aside and take time for myself. Hey, maybe genius has struck me too!! If the house doesn't get cleaned this week, oh well. If I say no to the hubby and kids because I know they could do it without my help, oh well!! If I tell someone at work that they can handle it themselves, oh well!! Now I take time to exercise, read, or just veg out in front of the TV. I like the new me better, and if the rest of my world doesn't, oh well!!
I had horrible results with HRT. Revival soy worked great for me. I believe it helped tremendously with the anxiety/panic attacks. It's worth a try.
Pamelova
Sep 21 2001, 10:02 AM
Carol S. -- Yes!! I think your "rebirth" is a form of genius. It's the ability to finally recognize the inconsequential - and then ignore it! Part of the genius i was talking about earlier is really just giving ourselves permission to be introspective, to really see, not just look. So much of our younger lives are taken up with taking care of someone else or even just dealing with making a living or doing all the mundane chores of life. Now is the time to take stock - to look at what our lives have been and the persons we are and say "I'm one h--- of a woman." Of course, all those anxieties and weird physical ailments do intrude. When i said earlier that i too had experienced genius, what i meant was "flashes" (not hot) of genius. It's something I want to cultivate. Also, when i say genius I don't mean Einstein genius - I mean more of a feeling that I'm looking at the world and seeing truth and beauty in the smallest things. And really more than that (it's hard to explain) it's like what I imagine a psychedelic or mind blowing experience to be - life is suddenly more vivid. And lulu, I think, mentioned inappropriate laughter. Well, sign me up as a kindred spirit. I am the queen of inappropriate laughter. I was at a funeral recently and had an experience that was akin to the famous "Chuckles the Clown" episode on the old Mary T. Moore show. It was really a horribly sad event - really heart wrenching. The family had chosen Elvis singing gospel songs for the music and it was pretty appropriate I thought - until - for some reason when they played "I saw you crying at the chapel" - it triggered what can only be described as an unholy urge to laugh. I had to pretend like I was sobbing in order to mask the upheaval inside me as my shoulders were shaking and I was practically in convulsions. I covered my face (which was bright red) so people couldn't see the maniacal grin I was trying to chase back down to my subconscious (sp?). Finally, I had to get up and leave to compose myself in the ladies room. All the while, I was thinking that I was the most evil person on earth for not being able to suppress it. I'm sure people wondered why I was so overcome with grief because I didn't know the deceased that well. I had absolutely no control. I used to get the giggles in church when I was a little kid but this was ridiculous.
lulu
Sep 21 2001, 10:12 AM
my menopausal sisters: thank you for your comments. if only i were still in my genius phase, i would be able to communicate in a way that would be more clearly understood by everyone. now, however, i'm in a new phase--my geniuis (sic) phase, so i'm not able to do it. alas, though--i found a letter i wrote to my best friend when i was right in the middle of this and i will quote directly from it (my husband & best friend are the only people i had the nerve to tell this to during the time it happened): "...i am ecstatic at my creativity and expression of it, but it is starting to feel overwhelming. i actually feel that i have genius and brilliance running through me right now. that doesn't mean that i think i'm a genius or that i think i'm brilliant. it just means that i feel that flashes of it are running through me. i am 'seeing' with such clarity that it is frightening sometimes. i'm also more aware of my mortality than i have ever been, and that is saying a lot because my mortality is not something from which i hide. the thing that frightens me is that when i'm doing something that i think is the most creative thing i've done in my life, i also hear a voice that is saying 'gosh, won't people think this is cool/touching, so lulu, and so forth when i'm dead and they're looking at it?; then i start thinking: 'oh my god! does this mean my death is imminent and that's why i feel so compelled to do everything i'm doing?' so, even though i am ecstatic about my creativity, i keep seeing signs of death..." (i wrote that in late february).
maybe "genius" is the wrong word, friends. two absolutely overwhelming things happened to me at that time: 1. i was able to express myself to the fullest in the areas in which i am interested/talented--it was as though everything from my entire life came together all at once and enabled me to do it. 2. i was able to "see" with utter clarity. i'm talking about "seeing" in the artistic sense. (quote from georgia o'keeffe: "nobody sees a flower, really--it is so small--we haven't time, and to see takes time...) i feel that when i initially entered "the pause" i did take time and i did see.
lastly, i definitely see that we have the beautiful and common thread of our collective senses of humor running thru this site--how i love to laugh at myself, at ourselves, at this predicament we are all in! please, friends, read ya-ya if you haven't already--here's one of many tremendous quotes: "...felt the power of their combined fragility..."
thank you everyone who reads this for helping me to understand "...what's happening here; it just ain't exactly clear..."
in gratitude, lulu
Aunt B
Sep 21 2001, 10:24 AM
QUOTE
Quote: from Pamelova on 10:02 am on Sep. 21, 2001[br]Carol S. -- Yes!! I think your "rebirth" is a form of genius. It's the ability to finally recognize the inconsequential - and then ignore it! Part of the genius i was talking about earlier is really just giving ourselves permission to be introspective, to really see, not just look. So much of our younger lives are taken up with taking care of someone else or even just dealing with making a living or doing all the mundane chores of life. Now is the time to take stock - to look at what our lives have been and the persons we are and say "I'm one h--- of a woman." Of course, all those anxieties and weird physical ailments do intrude. When i said earlier that i too had experienced genius, what i meant was "flashes" (not hot) of genius. It's something I want to cultivate. Also, when i say genius I don't mean Einstein genius - I mean more of a feeling that I'm looking at the world and seeing truth and beauty in the smallest things. And really more than that (it's hard to explain) it's like what I imagine a psychedelic or mind blowing experience to be - life is suddenly more vivid. And lulu, I think, mentioned inappropriate laughter. Well, sign me up as a kindred spirit. I am the queen of inappropriate laughter. I was at a funeral recently and had an experience that was akin to the famous "Chuckles the Clown" episode on the old Mary T. Moore show. It was really a horribly sad event - really heart wrenching. The family had chosen Elvis singing gospel songs for the music and it was pretty appropriate I thought - until - for some reason when they played "I saw you crying at the chapel" - it triggered what can only be described as an unholy urge to laugh. I had to pretend like I was sobbing in order to mask the upheaval inside me as my shoulders were shaking and I was practically in convulsions. I covered my face (which was bright red) so people couldn't see the maniacal grin I was trying to chase back down to my subconscious (sp?). Finally, I had to get up and leave to compose myself in the ladies room. All the while, I was thinking that I was the most evil person on earth for not being able to suppress it. I'm sure people wondered why I was so overcome with grief because I didn't know the deceased that well. I had absolutely no control. I used to get the giggles in church when I was a little kid but this was ridiculous.
Well Pam, I would have been hysterical listening to that song at a funeral. How inappropriate!!!!! I can't believe that no one else was cracking up like you. I know I would have. Jeez!!!!! Maybe before I could have contained myself, but now being in meno - I couldn't have done.
Huggssss
Aunt B
Sep 21 2001, 10:30 AM
LULU,
I am not sure that I am following you except through meno we all have the effects of gloom and doom. Sometimes we all feel like we are dying. That is part of it. Power surge and all of these meno gals have helped me on that subject.
Meno has forced us to slow down and look at life. It has caused us to listen to our bodies. I know it did for me. I was on a roller coaster ride and I did not know how to get off. Suddenly my body said enough.
My life has not been the same. Sometimes I get better and feel on top of the world. Then I come back to reality and all of these horrible symptoms creep back in.
Like they say, "Life is not yours anymore."
Have a good day, LULU
Huggss
Snowbird
Sep 21 2001, 10:42 AM
Well, I have a long way to go!! God luv ya...to anyone who understands their directions in life!! Mine changes everyday!!(((Hugs)))~*Snowy*~
lulu
Sep 21 2001, 01:25 PM
pamelova--that is tres funny, bebe! rebecca may want to use that for a future book! i remember being at the grocery store and i wanted to buy some peanuts and i couldn't remember where they were located but i was just so afraid that when i asked the store workers (all men that day) where they were i was gonna say "penis" instead of peanuts. i was almost going into uncontrollable laughter in the grocery store, just imagining it. i was finally able to do it though. here's the way my mind is working right now (stream of consciousness):
aunt b........aunt bee...........andy griffith...........mayberry........power-surge website =the mayberry of menopause
yikes! i think i'd better go take a nap.
Deb K
Sep 21 2001, 01:41 PM
lulu,I just love posts like your last one about peanuts :biggrin: on days like I am having today:( I am at work and started laughing outloud, for some reason that just struck me so funny :biggrin: It's a good thing no one was around here when I was reading :oThanks for the laugh :smile:Deb
Pamelova
Sep 21 2001, 01:54 PM
lulu--my shoulders are once again shaking with laughter!! I do things like that all the time!! I'll IMAGINE all kinds of horrible things that I'll do or say. Just yesterday it was raining here and as I was leaving my workplace, I had a sudden picture of myself slipping, my arms and legs flying up in the air, and I swear, it ran through my mind with lightening speed "What kind of underwear do I have on?" (I was wearing a skirt). After that thought, it was all I could do to walk -- I was taking baby steps and my legs felt like brittle sticks - I was so afraid my "vision" would come true!
SylvryMoon
Sep 21 2001, 04:19 PM
Pamelova -Your message about the Elvis song being played at a funeral made me chuckle out loud here in the office. And it reminded me of a funeral I went to a few years ago -- at Christmas time (a sad time for a funeral). The person who had passed away was also an Elvis fan, and one of the songs they played was "I'll Have a Blue Christmas Without You." Well, you know how Elvis is really Elvisy - "hu-huh-huh-I'll have a blue-hue Chriiiistmas. . .", and those "Wah Wah" girls wah-wahing in the background. And I, too, just lost it at the funeral. Put my head down and laughed, and everyone thought I was crying. Best part is, I knew that my friend (whose funeral it was) was up in heaven giggling too.
Hugs,
athenea
Sep 21 2001, 04:37 PM
Sylvry - I'm sure your friend was giggling with you, that's such a sweet thought, and I'm sure I could never sit through anyone singing "wah-wah-wah" - I'd just have to run out :cheesy:
Not quite the same, but this urge to giggle like a kid sometimes - that happens (thank goodness it does). The other day I was with my daughter at a cyber-cafe (I'm such an addict, even when I'm not at home), there were mainly younger people there, but there was this elderly man, about 90+ years :smile: completely absorbed - he was on a gourmet dot.com and was noting down the recipes on a piece of paper - poor thing, he must have been planning his dinner for the evening, but it just struck me as being so funny and we just couldn't stop spying on him and laughing to ourselves.
Isn't that horrid of me - I have a soft spot for the elderly and it's so lovely when they use computers. I teach internet to my "elderly" physcologist - that's how well my therapy is going :biggrin:
Barbie
Irene Crites
Sep 21 2001, 06:41 PM
Hello fellow geniuses
I also think like most of you that I see things with more clarity now and that life has taken on a new meaning for me. I will take time to rest, relax and enjoy now in lieu of cleaning the house or running around doing things for other people who can well do them for themselves. I continue to enjoy helping my family & friends but at a much less frenetic pace. I also have evolved spiritually in a way that offers me much comfort. Genius I'm not but as my dad used to say "we get too soon olt and too late schmart", so I guess I'm just finally learning the important things in life. Thanks for an interesting topic....much food for thought.
Aunt B
Sep 21 2001, 08:18 PM
QUOTE
Quote: from lulu on 2:25 pm on Sep. 21, 2001[br]pamelova--that is tres funny, bebe! rebecca may want to use that for a future book! i remember being at the grocery store and i wanted to buy some peanuts and i couldn't remember where they were located but i was just so afraid that when i asked the store workers (all men that day) where they were i was gonna say "penis" instead of peanuts. i was almost going into uncontrollable laughter in the grocery store, just imagining it. i was finally able to do it though. here's the way my mind is working right now (stream of consciousness):
aunt b........aunt bee...........andy griffith...........mayberry........power-surge website =the mayberry of menopause
yikes! i think i'd better go take a nap.
Aunt Bee of Mayberry? Not quite. I had a wonderful young lady that worked under me. I took as though she were my own. She always called me Aunt B. It just stuck. She is a wonderful person.
Huggggssss
lulu
Sep 21 2001, 09:47 PM
Aunt B--just as YOU, my dear, are a wonderful person. i've certainly enjoyed the kind and gentle responses from everyone to this newcomer. thank all of you. i look forward to exploring this "warm and caring community for women in menopause" in much more depth in the weeks to come. i'm so glad i found it! bless all of you.
the emotional lulu
Aunt B
Sep 21 2001, 10:44 PM
LuLu,
You sound very emotional and I know how you feel. We are all emotional here but sometimes I don't like to show it. And sometimes it just comes out too much.Ya know what I mean. Anyhoo, glad that you are here w/us. Welcome aboard,
Huggggssss
Texwoman
Sep 22 2001, 08:40 PM
QUOTE
Quote: from lulu on 8:53 pm on Sep. 18, 2001, i'm not sure how to describe it except to say that i understood every single cd that i listened to (ranging from bob dylan to mozart to gershwin); i understood every painting i viewed; i understood every piece of literature that i read; ad infinitum. just going to target around easter and seeing all of the products on display in their pastel colors blew my mind. there's more to my story that i'll go into later (if anyone else can relate). my question is: DOES ANYONE OUT THERE UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? DID YOU GO THROUGH IT? thank you.
Hi Lulu,
Since you mentioned this was happening around Easter time, I was wondering if you were having a spiritual awakening. This sounds just like what I experienced years ago, and unfortunately it has never returned since. Darn, too, cause it was so wonderful. I believe I was filled with the spirit of God...
all knowing...all beauty...all genius..pure love. Crystal clear and "in the blink of an eye."
I don't talk about it anymore to anyone (except my husband), because frankly, people were looking at me a little strange! I came to the conclusion that it was a gift and maybe when we die..it's like that. Wouldn't that be the greatest!
:biggrin:Da Normal-One:biggrin:I don't care what anyone says! Right Jeanne?!!
Chris
jeanne
Sep 22 2001, 09:24 PM
Absolutely , Tex, absolutely
hugs, jeanne
Snowbird
Sep 22 2001, 09:35 PM
**giggle**~*Snowy*~
lulu
Sep 23 2001, 09:38 AM
Dear Texwoman: yes, yes, yes!!!!!!! without question, it was a spiritual transformation; that was at the heart of everything that happened. thank you for bringing that out. like you, what happened to me was tremendous (the feeling of "at-onement")--and i want it back! like you, i related it to death and was totally calmed and comforted by it. and, like you, i discussed it with very few people because, you're right, most people have no comprehension about what we're saying and think we're even wackier that we already are.
the psychedelic and "genius" part of this awakening lasted for about 2 months. once i told my husband, he helped me understand that when our minds are open in new ways, our minds are open period and thus we have to "guard" against letting thoughts that give us anxiety (i.e., for me thinking that i was going to die immediately) swirl in. i was able to focus more clearly after i realized that so that i could just enjoy and celebrate and, ultimately, remember everything that was going on.
maybe i should just be thankful that i experienced it. it's not like things are not good now--it's just that it was so breathtakingly beautiful that i want it back--and i do think that i'm starting to get it back--in small doses that are not so overwhelming as to exhaust me. for instance, just this morning, listening to bob marley (i'm a music freak, obviously) singing "redemption song"--well, that was my church service. when he sings: "my hand was made strong, by the hand of the Almighty..."--i just can't describe the depth of feeling i get from it--it goes through me, it goes out of me, it feels like Amazing Grace.
my best friend reminded me of this quote of emerson's from his essay "nature" which helps explain what happened to me: "Crossing a bare common, in snow puddles, at twilight, under a clouded sky, without having in my thoughts any occurrence of special good fortune, I have enjoyed a perfect exhiliration. I am glad to the brink of fear. Standing on the bare ground, - my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, - all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eyeball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God."
thank everyone who joins in this dialogue. i appreciate all of the opinions and all of the laughter and all of the healing.
lulu the music freak and former genius
Texwoman
Sep 23 2001, 04:21 PM
Uh.......yeah, what you said.
You sure do have a way with words Lulu!
Remembering back, I had great anxiety about the time this experience happened and what I remember most about it was your feeling of "at-onement" also, and the anxiety disappeared. Mine was not death related, it was healing related. And like you, the comfort and calmness came with it. It was and I knew it, a spirit running through me. And it was so wonderful:biggrin:
As time passed in weeks to come, slowly but surely it was gone. That was 22 years ago. Don't want to bringyou down though
When I get anxious, or depressed, or disillusioned, I draw some strength from what I know is the truth. There is a God. Imagine that!! Don't ask me why I tend to forget. If that gift he gave me was a taste of what's to come, then I should be cool right!? Unfortunately it aint that easy. Nope that old stupid old friend "doubt" creeps in. Bummer!
Agreed, we should be thankful! Don't try to analyze it too much. That just might drive you wacky. Just accept the gift that was freely given. You've reminded me to "keep the faith" Lulu, thanks!
Sometimes being as "normal" as I am I will forgetto appreciate the little things. I think that's pretty normal though don't you all agree?
Be nice menobabes
:biggrin:Normal-One:biggrin: Chris
Snowbird
Sep 23 2001, 04:33 PM
:biggrin:Normal-One:biggrin::cool:I'm always nice:cool:Keep the Faith, my normal buddy....keep the Faith!!(((Huggers)))~*Snowy*~Pssst........"I'm a Christian Counselor!"Don't let get around too much...it might ruin my Silly reputation;)
Aunt B
Sep 23 2001, 04:33 PM
Hey Normal,
That is the most normal thing you have said and I throughly agree w/you.
LOL
Hugggsssss:smile: :o :smile:
Aunt B
Sep 23 2001, 04:34 PM
Pssst Snowbird,
You are too much.
LOL :smile: :cool:
jeanne
Sep 23 2001, 04:50 PM
Oh noooo!Now everytime I say @$#%$$@$ I suppose you will yell at me Silly Goose? I only say that for really special occasions anyway. When I am sure it is appropriate:biggrin:As for faith, I always assumed there was a reason for everything that happens. The only discussion I will have to have with God is about menopause. I'm sure it must have just been an oversight that He meant to correct but got busy. Just want him to know we noticed.
Hugs, jeanne
Snowbird
Sep 23 2001, 05:06 PM
Opppps...now my secret's out!!That's OK....I do a little @#$%&, myself!! If ya notice, I'm very good at it:biggrin: This bird can't cast the first stone;)Oh, BTW..God notices...(the meno thing)!! I'm not letting Him forget it.....not for a minute:o;) (((Hugs, to ya)))~*Snowy*~
EileenG
Sep 23 2001, 11:26 PM
This is a really interesting and thought provoking subject. I do know those times where I have felt connected to everything and everyone. I also know what it feels like to be very aware that death is inevitable. Lately, I can't seem to hold on to any mood more than 5 seconds! :confused: Sure do like those times where (in my soul) everything makes sense -- even the bad stuff! Would like more moments like those!
Texwoman
Sep 24 2001, 08:17 AM
There's this "Silly Christian Goose" flying overhead spreadin' lots of love!
Doesn't change a thing, Snowbird. You're still kooky to me!:biggrin:
Hugs,:biggrin:Da Normal One:biggrin:
Snowbird
Sep 24 2001, 09:26 AM
Gosh, Thanks thar :biggrin:Da Normal One:biggrin:I can always count on you:biggrin: (((Luv ya))) ~*Snowy*~**The Silly-Kooky One**
Phew....for a minute thar...thought my rep, for kookness was gone:biggrin:
Pamelova
Sep 24 2001, 11:15 AM
Monday Monday-- this is a test -- I'm posting from a different computer -- Pamelova
Pamelova
Sep 24 2001, 11:28 AM
Okay, guess that worked. I discontinued my HRT last week and so far so good. As I said before, I had a hysterectomy last Dec. and since then I have used Vivelle patches but the trouble was, that I was supposed to change patches twice a week -- seems simple enough right? When showering, I would feel the patch and take it off but by the time I got out of the shower I would forget to put a new patch on. Therefore, I was never able to be consistent and would continue to have hot flashes and sleeplessness and then I would think "I better put a patch on" and the whole thing would start again. So, Iast week I decided to try my luck on not wearing the patch again. I am still having hot flashes and I wake up several times a night. My question is this: how long does it take for the hot flashes to stop? Back to the topic: I am still having some anxiety, but I've had anxiety for most of my adult life, no, make that my WHOLE life. Also, I'm thinking my glimpses of genius might come back without the HRT. What do you think Lulu? Since I too would rather go natural, I think it might be worth a try. I think I was in perimenopause for years. My periods had become erratic and toward the end resembled nothing but rust, thus sparking a thought : "I'm rusting away, little by little, day by day, my little life is rusting away ...." Finally, after a suspicious spot was discovered in the lining of my uterus, my dotor recommended a complete hysterectomy. Thank God, it wasn't malignant. However, I've had some second thoughts about the surgery. Sometimes I feel kind of sad about the whole thing. Don't mean to be so serious but I'm wondering if anyone else has these feelings? Pamelova
lulu
Sep 24 2001, 01:02 PM
dear pamelova--you sound tres sad, bebe, and i'm sorry. i can only imagine the mixed feelings you have about the hysterectomy since i haven't gone through that. i'm new to this website but there are so many subject areas that i'll bet there's one for woman who've had the surgery you've had and perhaps they would have a better understanding about this. of course i would never advise anyone about what to do with regard to taking hrt's. whatever works for anyone is the thing to do for each individual. i will have to say that, for me, i have been resistant to taking them from the very beginning simply because i view menopause as a natural condition and not an illness. on the other hand, i did seek medical help for it but i was just wanting to address some of the symptoms (even though i was doing everything i could naturally) that were detrimental to the point of my thinking i was headed for a breakdown: namely, exhaustion and extreme anxiety. i was happy with my "genius" and psychedelic experiences. once i started on hrt, everything good about menopause went away, the same "bad" things i had got even worse (anxiety, sleeplessness) and i got even more negative things like pregnant-looking stomach, numb legs and arms, depression. i don't have to be a genius to see that hrt is not working for me! also, i know sometimes one has to experiment with different types--i just can't seem to get past why i need to take something to replace hormones that are naturally decreasing. also, is it just me, but why in the world when i FINALLY get the joy of not having a period every month, do i immediately go to the dr. who gives me something to make me start having my period every month again? i mean, REALLY, is that dumb or what?
your comments about rusting away--what a GENIUS observation! poignant yet funny--the way we menopausal women seem to be--something to proud of. take care and hang in there. i'll betcha snowy and aunt b and texwoman and everyone else is gonna be sending you lots of hugs today. one of the top things that helps me is to listen to lots and lots and lots of music. take care, pamelova.
recommended menopausal theme song: "nick of time" by bonnie raitt
jeanne
Sep 24 2001, 02:11 PM
Hi Pamelova, Sorry you have been having a rough time. Those hot flashes can last quite a while or go away quickly , it seems to be a very individual thing. I just had a dandy one last night for about 5 minutes then it went away, and I am 2 years postmeno. I have never used any kind of hormone treatment , but I have taken Kavakava for anxiety and then changed to xanax, which is a prescription. I haven't had any hormone treatment and now I am rather glad I didn't. I think you have to evaluate that by considering your family history for cancer , etc. Maybe coming here and seeing from other women that you aren't rusting away at all will help , too. We all get in a funk about things from time to time. But it gets better the longer you are postmenopause. Come and talk a lot here, it really does help :)take care , hugs, jeanne
Texwoman
Sep 24 2001, 04:37 PM
Pamelova, I haven't been through what you have, but I think I would feel very sad too, thinking the surgery might not have been necessary. You have every right tofeel sad about it and I think I might be feeling angry too.
Sending a big hug to ya, and I hope you feel it!I'm rusting away too! You made me smile:)
Take care, Chris
Texwoman
Sep 24 2001, 04:42 PM
Lulu, I love Bonnie Raitt too. Saw her and Jackson Browne in '99 at Township Auditorium in Columbia South Carolina.....It was a small theatre, up close and personal.....It was a charity benefit and they were bothvery relaxed. Loved it.:biggrin: Music is next best thing to Genius, think?! Take care, Chris
Snowbird
Sep 24 2001, 04:57 PM
Pamelova, ((hugs))I'm so sorry, you are having a difficult time!!! Even tho, I haven't had a hysterectomy, I know there can be a lot of emotional anguish connected with the surgery!!Hon, you need to give yourself time to heal, and not deny your feelings.Altho, you want to go through meno naturally, it may be hard given your situation!! Sometimes we place too high expectations on ourselves, which can be unreasonable, causing us needless upheaval!!Please don't deny yourself, any help that would make life a little easier. Everyone needs a boost over the menopause fence sometimes.....be it HRT....Xanax, or anti-depressants!! Are you in regular contact with a trusted doctor?? It would be a good idea to touch bases with one concerning the problems you're having with the patch!! I know each one of us has to make their own decision on whether or not to take HRT or some other method of hormonal help!! However, it's always....always best to discuss it with a health professional, especially since having surgery!!
As for the hot flashes....like jeanne, said....it's so hard to determine!! Mine had stopped...now they are back!! I'm almost 56 years old!!Everyone is different....with different situations!!
It might be helpful for you to seek out a compassionate therapist. A person whom you feel will listen and understand what you are going through!!
Don't hesitate to come here often....there's always someone hear to listen...to reach out in anyway they can!!I'll be thinking of you and I'll keep you in my prayers:)
((((Love and Hugs))))) ~*Snowy*~
lulu
Sep 24 2001, 06:25 PM
snowy: "hear to listen"--that is GENIUS and should be the motto for power-surge boards. texwoman: i would love to see bonnie in person; she is an angel and a real-deal woman. jeanne: you're a sweetheart. pamelova: lots of women reaching out to you, sweetie!p.s. my hubby is playing "purple haze" by jimmi hendrix (i think he understands me)
jeanne
Sep 24 2001, 10:14 PM
Hi lulu, Thanks
I don't understand all of this thread , but I know that you seem to have a great attitude and I just love it.
We need more good thoughts around here We have more than our share of things to groan about. We will come out of this stronger though . Way stronger than those women who breeze through meno , right?
Let's assume so anyway :)hugs, jeanne
Pamelova
Sep 25 2001, 11:32 AM
Thank you all for your concern - you are all too sweet. I'm still having trouble sleeping - of course now i'm having anxiety over chemical/biological warfare (i feel like biological warfare is being waged inside my body already). Did I read somewhere here that Snowy has fibro? I was diagnosed with fibro as well. Now, after reading posts on this site i'm convinced that it's onset might have something to do with menopause (at least in my case). Most of the time I'm an incurable optimist but lately it's been a little hard to maintain a sunny outlook. I think we're all being affected by events in NY & DC. Here's to sunnier tomorrows! A toast to all my menopausal sisters - oops, it's a little early to be toasting.
Pamelova
Sep 25 2001, 12:12 PM
p.s. love your taste in music lulu. Does anyone here like Aretha? I once had a dream that i saw Aretha at the ATM and she was thanking me for teaching her how to sing. AS IF! You know, i miss dreaming - i don't think i sleep deeply enough to have dreams anymore. i always lived a sort of Walter Mitty existence in my dreams - where anything was possible. I had a dream once that something happened to the U.S. Olympic team (didn't show up for some reason) and i was in the audience at a huge stadium. Over the loudspeakers there came a call : "Are there any Americans here?" I raised my hand and before you know it I was the entire U.S. Olympic team. Filled with a surge of adrenilyn and patriotism, i was winning gold medals right and left. On the winner's platform, i had a hard time holding my head up - the weight of the many gold medals becoming too much for me. Talk about a healthy self-image!! Anyway, i used to have such vivid dreams. I can't remember the last time i had a honest to goodness technicolor dream.
NancyV
Sep 25 2001, 04:58 PM
Pamela and Lulu,
Have enjoyed reading your posts yesterday.....your guys are like dynamite!! :) It is neat to see women who are having spiritual awakenings (what I think) and seeing the joyful and the absurd in everyday life....
I have had unusual experiences in the past that I haven't told many but were outside what we usually experience with our five senses....but they were wonderful and uplifting....
Thanks for your posts!
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