O.K. I'm really in a tail-spin.

I have been going to a female doctor for about 4 years now and I thought we had a good relationship. I was off for four weeks in the spring due to extreme fatigue and depression - short term disability.

This summer I was having chest pain which she attributed to anxiety. That was fine, except that I went hiking at Yosemite and had chest pain on exertion which scared the hell out of me. So, went back and told her what had happened. She still wasn't overly concerned, but reluctantly referred me to a cardiologist. After having an abnormal EKG and then going through a nuclear stress test, everything was fine with my heart - no cardiovascular disease. But, I do have an ongoing history of GERD, so of course chest pain can come from that. I take prilosec and sometimes it is under control, sometimes not.

Lately I have had a really bad flare of IBS which I also periodically have. So since yesterday was my yearly pap smear appointment, I started telling her about my abdominal problems. Along with this is also the fact that my anxiety level is out of the ball park right now due to financial problems, work problems, and of course menopause (I'm 55).

I was telling her what was happening in my life (my partner is on part furlough from his job), added expenses in both our lives, etc., and she interrupted me and said, "You are just working yourself up into more and more anxiety." This may be true, but I was shocked that she so bluntly cut me off. Then I told her I needed a mammogram but would rather wait until my stress level was down because getting a mammogram because this is probably one of the MOST stress inducing things in the world for me. I tend to obsess about health matters and stay in fear, so any test is monumental for me. She said, "Well, let me know when, because the referral is only good for 3 months, no use in wasting paper." WHAT? I was really shocked now. Why the rudeness?

Anyway, I don't run to the doctor every three seconds and at my age symptoms do concern me. Mostly, I will agree, many symptoms are caused by anxiety, but not always. Even after telling her about my stomach symptoms (fat makes it worse, some aching under right side rib cage), she did not even palpate my abdominal area.

On top of it all, I inquired about a H1N1 flu shot and BTW, her office has plenty of vaccine. She actually advised against it! So now, I'm completely and totally confused and upset.

So, am I right to be upset here? Am I just a hopeless hypochondriac that no one wants to listen to?

Thanks in advance for any insight - I'm a stress case right nowl

Sounds like she was having an off day and let it out on you.If it were me I would speak to her about it,at your next appointment just be honest and ask if you should find yourself a new dr.I am sorry this happened.GOD-bless

I know how you are feeling! I am 46 but have been having symptoms now for over two years. I switched doctors today. The old one was not listening to me or willing to work with me on choices I wanted for my own body. It was his way or the highway. The nurse phoned me with the treatment he wanted to do and I said I did not want to do that right now and she said I didn't have a choice. I said yes I do and I found a new doctor. The new doctor listened and is willing to try to do what I would like and see if it works. I feel like I am in the Twlight Zone with these doctors and nurses!!! Maybe you need to find a new doctor. I know that my stress level has been up with all of the health worries. No month is every the same. I feel better working with someone who will take the time to listen to me and discuss options. Good Luck! Hang in there!

Hi C,
I am afraid that your only 'crime' is that you exhibiting multiple symptoms, as we all do in menopause. Trouble is, doctors will interpret a string of multiple symptoms as being the sign of a hysterical female hypochondriac. Sad but true. After the first three types of symptoms they just switch off and become rude. I have seen it happen many times. Look upon it as the failure of your doctor not you. The only advice I can give is to limit the amount of problems you present in an appointment and discuss only your very worst problems. Really prioritize the severity of your problems. Try to keep things short and to the point and try not to major on your anxiety because they will blame all your symptoms on your 'nerves.' Of course, some doctors are naturally rude and dismissive and if you feel that, that is the case, you might want to change.
I am so sorry that you have been made to feel like some sort of nuisance because you have multiple symptoms. Don't let that doctor bully you. It sounds as though she has no idea about female menopause and how it affects almost every bodily system. Sometimes all we need is reassurance that something awful is not going on. Serious problems usually make themselves felt very quickly and menopausal problems tend to come and go. It is a very difficult area. Do use the search facility on Power surge to compare your symptoms with other women going through menopause.

Sadly I have learnt not to expect sympathy or support from my GP. I keep my visits very business like.


XIII

I think you have a right to be upset but.... if after 4 years this was her first offense then I'd let it go. It could be that she just had to tell one of her patents she had cancer, or got off the phone with an ungrateful teenager, or just having PMS herself. We never know what someone is going through on the inside and while she should leave everything at the door when she walks in to see you, it's not always easy to turn things on and off.

If however... this isn't the first time and you are getting the feeling that she's not interested in what you are going through then... look for another doctor. It's important, especially at this time in our life, to feel comfortable with who is handling our health issues.

((hugs))

Thanks to all of you for your suggestions. At this point, I really don't know what I'm going to do. I FEEL like changing doctors, but realize I shouldn't make any hasty decisions so I'll hold off for the moment.

I forgot to add that I also asked her about Bio-Identical hormones and she said, "oh, yes I will prescribe them, but I don't think they are necessarily better than the regular kind." She thinks the reason they work so well is because the are "stronger, so of course one would feel better." Also, she said that the breast cancer risk was just as great with Bios as with regular hormones. Now I'm no expert but I've been reading the contrary on line. I had about gotten myself talked into TRYING Bio-identicals, though as the doctor pointed out, "Well, if you're having financial problems, you won't be able to afford these hormones."

I really felt like everything I asked or said was refuted in some way, so that is why I am feeling so disgruntled. XIII, yep, I think you are right about hitting doctors with too many symptoms, stupid thing to do on my part. Sometimes though, I really feel that my entire body is falling apart. It is depressing and scary - I do see a counselor and she is an older woman so she knows what I am talking about when I talk about the menopausal symptoms.

Wanna a tub, I do worry myself to death also about these bodily symptoms. It drives me nuts and I really don't like it, but there it is anyway.

So, I think I have decided to sell some of my stuff and get together the money to go to a Naturopath (sp?) in town. I've been saying I was going to do this for some time but now I feel the real need. These people LISTEN to what you have to say and take into account the WHOLE body, not just the symptom. This would be a breath of fresh air to me.

Anyway, thanks to everyone again.

Glad to see that you are feeling strong and resolute over all this. I think that it would be unwise to make any hasty decisions. I do think that your doctor treated you in rather a brusque manner but her comments about the bio-identicals are pretty concurrent with up to date medical opinion. Have a quick glance at this.


http://www.missoulian.com/lifestyles/healt...1cc4c03286.html

Of course if you decide to go ahead with the BHRT that is fine as long as you have researched things really carefully and you go in with eyes wide open. There are many ladies here who can give you the benefit of their experience. This whole menopause thing really is a minefield and we are very vulnerable because we feel so unwell and fearful.

Take good care,

XIII

Hi
I'm not trying to excuse the brusque reaction but your doctor sounds as though she was having a bad day. I should have a polite word with her next time you see her. I recall visiting my doctor on one occasion (it was a trivial matter) and he said "Louise I think I have senility today - I'm exhausted can we talk about this later" it was said in a jovial tone and I was pleased he spoke as one fallible human being to another.
I am also an anxiety and IBS sufferer and I know as you do that symptoms can be brought on by anxiety.That is not to say that they can't be frightening and your doctor was not having a sympathetic day.
Doctors hardly get any training about menopause and often know next to nothing about the horrible symptoms it can produce. As for costs I'm using bio identicals and they are not too expensive - although obviously they cost more then a standard regime. Many doctors are also somewhat unknowledgable about those.
Many doctors are ambivulant about the swine flu jab and unknowledgable about bio identicals. I understand the jury is still out on these. My personal philosophy is that if these hormones are so lethal for us - nature wouldn't have provided them for all women.
Have you tried 5HTP for your anxiety? I find it quite helpful
Louise

Dear 'cyotespirit'
Unfortunately many Doctors can be rather brusque.It hurts but I think she probably did not mean any harm.Maybe she just felt frustrated as I honestly believe that they know less about Menopause than we do.This gets "Their knickers in a Twist" when we ask questions.So don't take it too personally
Strangely enough the best and most sympathetic Gyno. I ever had was a young Egyptian man who started me on HRT,many years back,when I was thrown into Premature Menopause.He was so sympathetic and knowlegeable.
As for the Swine Flu injection I think many people,including Doctors are still a bit concerned about its complete safety.Even my 84 year old Mother telephoned me from London warning me not to let anyone give me a jab!
A visit to a Naturopath sounds like a reasonable idea but make sure you do not have to pay lots of money as I have read of ladies who have used their services and paid out a lot of money for Remedies that did not work.Other people report good results so it probably depends on the individual
Good Luck in whatever you decide
And please let us know how it goes
Warm Wishes
Elizabeth