Some of you may remember my story, not sure if I put it in my profile. I've had issues with depression as long as I remember, was diagnosed with anxiety disorder with panic attacks in my early twenties. I've been on and off SSRI's ever since then. November of last year I missed a dose of paxil and woke up the following night having what seemed like a continuous anxiety attack that lasted 36 hours. A month later I missed three doses of paxil and again I woke up having terrible anxiety/crying spells, etc. It never went away. So far I've only been able to mask the symptoms with medications. I was changed to three different SSRI's and my agitation got worse with each one. I finally managed to taper up to a therapeutic dose of zoloft, but I've continued to have agitation, irritability, restlessness.

After lots of bloodwork and numerous psych visits, I've been told I have a mood disorder (not otherwise specified). I know it's not a good idea to accept a diagnosis like this without question when one's hormones are on such a roller coaster, but I have several close family members who are bipolar and we all have the same features of irritability/anger/anxiety.

So, what I'm wondering is, is there anyone among my PS sisters that has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder or a mood disorder? I'd really like to connect with someone with similar issues to mine. The only thing I can think is that this has been something that I've had to a milder extent until I hit peri and I've just started on a progesterone cream hoping it will help level things out.

anyway, sorry to be babbling. . .hope to hear from someone soon.

Ali

I myself am not bipolar but I have a sister who is and a daycare mother who is. She is very open and honest about her issues and I have learned a lot about bipolar and how hard it can be to live with it. Prior to having the daycare I did inhome care and have also had clients who were bipolar. While I don't live it firsthand (I have OCD issues) I do have exp with it and am willing to talk anytime.

My dear Ali
You are not babbling ,my dear.Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty.
And I am so sorry for all the hurt you are going through.
I do not know much about bipolar except what I have read.I have a friend who is Manic Depressive and has at last found the right combo. of Meds to help her through.Menopause was a tough time for her but she did use HRT and it seemed to help.
Anyway just wanted to know that we all care and pray for the best for you
Please keep us posted
Warm Hugs
Elizabeth

Thank you "guys". You always know what to say. this has been a really icky year for my family and me. I've tried so hard to be a good mom and wife, but there have been so many times that I've busted out crying in front of them just from stress that I'm afraid I've scared the DH and kids. i can't believe it's been a year and I haven't figured this out yet.

I have read for hours on bipolar/mood disorders and peri. Apparently, women with bipolar are extremely sensitive to hormone changes. the progesterone cream seems to help, but I'm terrified that after being on it for months I'll start having more anxiety or depression like others on the site have mentioned. Of course, because I'm already so anxious, I worry about EVERYTHING. I research every new med, and dozens I haven't tried, to see which one might make me better. then, when I do try a new med, it usually makes me feel terrible.

Thanks for all your prayers and posts, I appreciate every single one!

Ali

Thank you "guys". You always know what to say. this has been a really icky year for my family and me. I've tried so hard to be a good mom and wife, but there have been so many times that I've busted out crying in front of them just from stress that I'm afraid I've scared the DH and kids. i can't believe it's been a year and I haven't figured this out yet.

I have read for hours on bipolar/mood disorders and peri. Apparently, women with bipolar are extremely sensitive to hormone changes. the progesterone cream seems to help, but I'm terrified that after being on it for months I'll start having more anxiety or depression like others on the site have mentioned. Of course, because I'm already so anxious, I worry about EVERYTHING. I research every new med, and dozens I haven't tried, to see which one might make me better. then, when I do try a new med, it usually makes me feel terrible.

Thanks for all your prayers and posts, I appreciate every single one!

Ali

Thank you "guys". You always know what to say. this has been a really icky year for my family and me. I've tried so hard to be a good mom and wife, but there have been so many times that I've busted out crying in front of them just from stress that I'm afraid I've scared the DH and kids. i can't believe it's been a year and I haven't figured this out yet.

I have read for hours on bipolar/mood disorders and peri. Apparently, women with bipolar are extremely sensitive to hormone changes. the progesterone cream seems to help, but I'm terrified that after being on it for months I'll start having more anxiety or depression like others on the site have mentioned. Of course, because I'm already so anxious, I worry about EVERYTHING. I research every new med, and dozens I haven't tried, to see which one might make me better. then, when I do try a new med, it usually makes me feel terrible.

Thanks for all your prayers and posts, I appreciate every single one!

Ali

Thank you "guys". You always know what to say. this has been a really icky year for my family and me. I've tried so hard to be a good mom and wife, but there have been so many times that I've busted out crying in front of them just from stress that I'm afraid I've scared the DH and kids. i can't believe it's been a year and I haven't figured this out yet.

I have read for hours on bipolar/mood disorders and peri. Apparently, women with bipolar are extremely sensitive to hormone changes. the progesterone cream seems to help, but I'm terrified that after being on it for months I'll start having more anxiety or depression like others on the site have mentioned. Of course, because I'm already so anxious, I worry about EVERYTHING. I research every new med, and dozens I haven't tried, to see which one might make me better. then, when I do try a new med, it usually makes me feel terrible.

Thanks for all your prayers and posts, I appreciate every single one!

Ali

Frist I like to say hello I am new here to the world of PS....still learning the ropes.... Never feel as if you are babbling babbling can turn out to be great med in my book..
this is a great site an there are alot of people that care an that is very important always have a good support team. I grew up in a Leave it to Beaver Family nothing bad to say As as I went into my Adult year I have have many many up an downs highs an lows ect......

Bottom line I think if we all try an put our lives back to the basics

Eat well
get a good night sleep
an
Excrice
9 out of ten might do one at a time Try putting it all together for the new year an I bet things start going back in place
just my thoughts
1hotmess

I can't actually believe I have found this site & your post Ali.I am sooo glad I did .Aprox. 4yrs I had as what I can only describe as what they used to call a mental break. Things were not so great & I ended up in the hospital. I was 40 at the time & was having regular periods so no one bothered to check my hormone levels. After about 2yrs & several different medications for bipolar disorder I finally had my hormone level checked & even though i was still having the occasional period the nurse said my levels were crazy. I was going through menopause & had no clue!! I like you have a history of mental illness in my family so I do not doubt I have issues with that but had I known sooner about my hormones things might have been a lot different. I am still in search of a good Dr. that is willing to help with both issues, but to date I have not found one. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone & now I don't feel like the only one. If anyone has any advice about this issue please let me know.Just finding this site has been a blessing!! MTMOM

Dear MT,

I have so much I want to say to you... First. welcome to PS! Second, I also have hormonal issues that masqueraded as mental illness. I invite you to read my posts. There are quite a few, so I apologize in advance. But I think you may find them helpful.

Please contact me if I can do anything at all.

Warmest wishes,
Marcy

i have some mental issues if you want to talk just pm me i will help you as much as possible.

Can someone please describe Bi Polar to me so I could put my most anxious thought to rest. I,ve researched it to no end and don,t seem to fit it but I would like to know from someone who has it, Since my total hyster for the past 3 1/2 yrs I,ve had high anxiety which I never had before, I cry alot because of it, I just don,t feel like me, I never really feel good but at nite I ususally get calmer and feel a little better, I have no problems sleeping except for bad sweats. I,m not agitated or have angry outbursts, just constant anxiety espically if I have to go somewhere, Before my Hyster I was easy going loved life had no problems now full of anxiety and it actually scares me the feelings. of anxiety I have no family history of mental illness, I,ve tried numerous Ad,s HRT sideeffects to them all, I feel like i,m uncomfortable in my own body just don,t feel like me, and getting more and more down due to all of this I constantly think about it and talk about it, is this Bi Polar, my anxiety doesn,t make me restless I get tense or butterflies lightheaded shakey then cry because it,s been there for over 3 years, The only time I got relief was once on Lexapro but can,t go back on due to sideeffects, was doing good on HRT and Elavil but then they switched things, since I came off the Lexapro I haven,t been the same. I,ve seen 2 Psych,s therapist, Endo,s OB Gyn, Counsler,s and a Priest they all say I,m not until recently my MD who has only seen me 6 times in a year said I could be Cyclothemia I researched that to death and don,t fit that either. I had no problems as ateenager which he drilled me on I had a healthy normal life till the Hyster, Do I sound Bi Polar ??????? Please help me put this to rest

Thank you for your reply I am still trying to find my way around this site. I tried to send you a message but it wouldn't let me.For the first time I finally think I've found a site that addresses my issues.You can not believe the relief when I stumbled on here. I am just beginning to read some of your posts.Thanks again!!! Mtmom

Thank you so much for your reply also. I just felt so alone in my problem, I am so happy to be able to find someone to talk 2.Being new I haven't figured out how to create a new post yet so any help there would be greatly appreciated Thanks Again!!

Bipolar disorder (formerly known as manic depression) is characterized by severe mood swings. Most people swing from one mode to the other at a particular time of year-- For example one may be manic in the Spring and then become more depressed in the Fall. There is a "rapic cycling" form of the disorder, where a person switches much more frequently from one modality to the other.

In a manic phase, one generally has unbounded energy, needs little or less sleep than usual, has unrealisticially grand thoughts of doing unrealistically grand things, talks quickly, and is difficult to interact with becasue the energy level is so high. A manic person becomes agitated and irritable when someone suggests that she is not in control or that she try to calm down. A manic phase usually ends up with a kind of crash. Imagine a balloon filled with air that goes higher and higher, until finally it loses its altitude and goes crashing to the ground.

Then starts the depression. The person has trouble even remembering the manic or "up" phase that just preceeded. She feels that nothing will ever be right, that life is not worth living. Some manic depressives feel suicidal.

Bipolar disorder is not easily missed. If a person is depressed for a period of time and then on the top of the world the next, and then back to depressed, bipolar disorder is a good possibility. The important thing is the degree, or intensity, of feeling. Not everyone who is sad is clinically depressed. Not everyone who is happy and bouncy is manic.

I am not a doctor--and I don't even play one on TV (how's that for dating myself?)-- but I understand that BD is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Does anyone really understand the mechanisms? No. Does anyone really know why medications work? No. But there is overwhelming evidence that certain chemicals alleviate the synptoms. I am a strong advocate of responsible medication.

NOW--what about a diagnosis? One psychiatrist said to me that diagnoses are for social workers and insurance companies.
I could not agree more. What difference does it make what one labels the suffering we endure? The point is to treat it.

We know that antidepressants can be remarkably successful in treating depression. We know that anti-epileptics can be great for mood swings. So are major tranquilizers. The point is not what we call the experience. The point is that we find the right medicine to alleviate the suffering.

Document the experience and use the right category of medicine to treat it.

Now--what about the medicines for BD? Psychiatrists agree that a bipolar patient should take a mood stabilizer all the time. The bipolar person should NOT take an antidepressant all the time. Rather, she shoud take an AD only when depression is a major problem. Why? Because SSRIs and SNRIs tend to bring on mania A lot to know? For sure. But it is doable.

Please forgive the length of my post. I will stop here for fear of being drummed out of the group!

Warmest regards to all,
Marcy

I also had symptoms of Bipolar disorder. I went for almost 2 years believing I was Bipolar. My case may differ a LITTLE. I had a hysterectomy 4-5 years ago. The Dr. said he wanted to leave an ovary so I wouldn't have hormone issues. He never told me once, that I should keep an eye on the hormone levels. Never told me the risks that came with the hyst, he made it sounds as tho, I kept an ovary, I will be fine. No hormone replacement needed. I was off my rocker with emotions for the first few months. And then I felt as tho I went back to myself. I felt better. And when I think back now, after a year passed by I realize NOW that I was in BAD shape emotionally. I kept going to my regular Dr. telling him I was super depressed & I felt like I just couldn't go on. I went back for years. And not one med would work for my depression. I would get extremely depressed in the Winter. I never had done that before my hysterectomy???I almost felt like I was paralyzed, but I had to make myself move because I have a family to take care of!Well, the regular Dr. got tired of me, and didn't no WHAT to do with me. He told me he thought there was something else going on like a mood disorder. He told me he couldn't help me with this problem, and he sent me packing to a psychologist. I told her my problems & in 30 minutes she had me down as having Bipolar II. I went for awhile just for the counseling, and just that was not working out. Soo, I moved on to the medications. I tried SEVERAL mood stabilizers, mood stabilizers combined with AnitDepressants. I felt like a guinea pig. My last combo consisted of 1200mg Lithium, 200mg Topomax & 50mg of Zoloft.

Last winter, I went thru something crazy..Maybe its what you all are calling a psychotic break down??I dont no? I started out worrying about my husband. I thought he was going to die. I worried about it, I thought about it & then it became SO real to me. I thought it was going to happen every day I woke up. The man is in perfect health. So, I started crying about it every day, when he got home. Then I started crying about it when I was home alone, cried in the car, cried when I went to see him at the shop, cried when he got home, cried in bed at night. I got to where I couldn't sleep but maybe 1 hour a night. I stopped eating, when I did eat it was chicken broth & I threw that up along with my sprite I was drinking JUST to stay hydrated. Then I started worrying about the kids. When they came home, I cried. My whole family thought I was a nut case. My daughter started telling everyone 'All my mom does is sit around and cry all day'. UGH. I ended up with my bags packed and getting ready to check myself into the mental floor at the hospital because I wanted to kill myself. Rather than deal with all this super high anxiety & the thoughts that were racing thru my head. It was SO much to deal with, and so exhausting for my mind. I did end up just going off all those meds cold turkey, and that is not a wise decision. BUT, I started having all these problems even BEFORE I went off my meds..So, I don't really think going off the meds was the case..But, I'm sure it didn't help matters...

So, as I was going thru all of this. My sister in law has a complete hyst. And she says, you know Amber, you really need to go get your hormones checked. She said it seems as tho it may be the case...Soo, I trott myself to the dr. To find, I had very low hormones in all areas & no testosterone.

In the mean time I start taking an anxiety pill & another mood stabilizer to level myself out until I see if thise hormones are going to work. I just needed to be calm!And, the anxiety kept lessening, and I went from 2 anxiety pills to 1, 1 to just a 1/2 and then to zero. And then I worked myself off the mood stabilizer, and now I take a hormone pill & things are so much better!

I was so mean to my family for years. I couldn't control my anger and my mood swings. I was so cold and rude and angry. It was the worse time of my life.

I am so sorry I went on and on. I would never say to someone that you DON"T have Bipolar, I would always say because of my experience. PLEASE be so careful & weigh out everything else!!I had such a hard time accepting this diagnosis. For some this diagnosis is the case, and I would want to say to them be easy on yourself and just take it one day at a time! If anyone ever needs me, Im here

LOVE,
Amber

I have to agree with the post before mine. I've known too many people (including my own daughter) who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, only to find out it was something else.

My daughter was hyperthyroid. If a family doctor hadn't caught that after she and I had visited several others and her given drugs she didn't need, I don't know what would have happened. When doctor asked for family history, I told him of my youngest sister who had a heart attack at 20, brought on by Graves disease. He stopped there and ordered testing...and sure enough, my daughter needed her thyroid treated asap. My daughter was 13 when this happened. She is now 24 and just fine. My best friend was diagnosed last year and when she told me, I told her that I know just by KNOWING her for years that this is a load of crap! She has NEVER shown any signs of bipolar disorder, and of course my friend will take any diagnosis that comes down the pike. She's a two time cancer survivor and 90 percent of the time, happy and peaceful. Told her to get a second opinion. She did. She IS menopausal and her hormones are way out of whack. She is being treated as well.
Needless to say, whenever I hear someone has a diagnosis of bipolar illness, I ask them to make sure that other illnesses that mimic bipolar have been tested for.

Just make sure the doctor rules out any hormonal issues.

Dear Amber
Thank you so much for sharing with us
I really feel with you as you just described me at 38 when thrown into Menopause.I was like a nutcase
I started off with Prozac and that helped but truthfully it was when I began HRT that I began to feel better.
It is so true that we are all so different but sometimes a little voice inside is a really good guide.
There is so much suffering out there and Thank God we are allowed to share.
Marcy is one of my heroes.When I read all that she went through I know that we can all make it through.
And no you did not go on and on.You told your truth in your own words and that is brave and honest
Warm Hugs
Elizabeth

Thank you Elizabeth :-) You are one of many that have helped me thru that awful time!!I strayed from the boards after I felt better. But realized, I could be help to the others :-)

DANG MARCY!!--YOU ARE GOOD...I COULD HAVE READ YOUR POST FOR EVER!!!!!

hugs!