Is there anyone out there that can help? I am so desperate. I am in tears. I just feel so sick. I have had major anxiety and depression problems for 4 months now. I have been to a psychologist who diagnosed me with GAD and major depressive disorder. I have seen a counselor who is trying CBT for the past 3 weeks. My problem is horrible morning anxiety that lingers til the afternoon and insomnia. But I just feel like there is something physical wrong with me and I can't get any doctor to believe me. I don't feel like it is my thinking that is causing all this painful turmoil. I try to control my thoughts like they say and it just doesn't work. I am so tired. I cry all the time and feel trapped all day when I am at my job. I take clonazepam every single day, but it is now not really helping. i think i am tolerant and maybe additcted. I honestly feel like I could die. I am totally out of reality and feel like the world is swirlying around me and I'm just trying to survive. I am desperate for help. I can't tolerate AD's. I have been going through peri for 4 years now and haven't had a period since June of this year. I feel hopeless. So hopeless and very, very scared and alone. I feel like I don't know where else to turn . I keep running into brick walls. I just can't function like this anymore. Someone please help......... am I going to end up in the psych ward?

(((Terri))) I want to send you huge hugs. there is a way forward for you. You will come through this!

I have been there too with the anxiety, especially the morning jitters part I understand so well. I also suffered from panic attacks so badly. I was desperate to talk to somebody and didn't know where to turn. I remember walking along the street wearing sunglasses cos I just couldn't stop crying. Nobody understood I felt. I'd been to my doc - he had tried me on betablockers & I had a bad reaction. I felt I was untreatable by the medical profession! I was unable to drive even a short way, I couldn't go into a supermarket, I had to walk my kids to school in tears. At one point, for 2 weeks I never left the house, but Hubby had to get back to work so I had to force myself to get the kids up & to school. I had to do this in 10 second stages. I would literally call an instruction to them (clean your teeth) and then have to lie down for 5 minutes before the next thing. I was a mess!

One day i was feeling so desperate like you...I went into a therapy clinic on the high street desperate to find a psychologist. He wasn't in that day, but the lady on the desk saw the state I was in & called the someone else to see me immediately. It turned out he was an accupuncturist & well used to treating anxiety & panic. He basically gave up his lunch break & treated me there & then & that was my turning point. It did have some partial immediate effect, I came away feeling there was at last a way out for me...i had hope.

I had about 6 further treatments and also found the Claire Weekes' books and gradually started to recover. It took time. The first step mentally is learning to recognise the fear feelings and accept them. Allow them to be there but do not fear the fear. Claire Weekes teaches this in her books and a technique known as floating.

I was left with residual health anxiety and have had CBT for this too. It helped but I am not completely cured of the health worry. But i am of the general anxiety. I still wake with the jitters (that's my hormones) but I don't fear them anymore - they just annoy me! Now I have learned when i get them not to lie there. I come on PS, i run a hot bath (which i feel is like an all over body hug)...I distract myself until the horrid feelings go away.

I hope this helps. These are the things that helped me but others have found other ways.

You will find many women have been through similar on here. All this happened to me a few years back but I have posted more detail before and later about my CBT for the health anxiety if you want to search for the posts.

Terri, My dear Sister;

First of all, I want to offer you my Love and Uderstanding!!

Your words are as if they came from my own heart! I'm so, so sorry! I know of the darkness, I know of the suffering, I Know!! Your journey started way before mine did, I have only been walking down this path now for this past year. It has only been in the last several months that I have found many of the answers I was searching for as to what was wrong with me. For the longest I had no clue other than knowing I was losing my mind!! The alone and empty feelings are so overwhelming and it seems like they take complete control of every part of our lives. I cannot offer you any answer .. this is so new to me and I am struggling to find my own answers! I will tell you that a month ago I could have never expressed my feelings to no one, not even myslef. I could not put into words the blackness and shame inside!! This site, the love of the sisters here have done more to heal me than anything I have tried. Today, nothing has changed, I have all the same fears, worry, and hopeless thoughts, but I have something I have never had before .. I have Sisters who understand! I have came here and opened myself up .. have poured my fears out exposing my naked feelings knowing I would find others to laugh at me and tell me I was not normal, I was selfish,lazy, and perhaps worthless in this self pity! I've heard it all before from the ones in my life that I have tried to explain who did not understand. What I found is a beautiful gift of knowing I am accepted, loved, and cherished. I found their kindness has touched me ways no meds ever could. It touched all parts of my body and soul. I have a wonderful blessing .. that of a dear Cover Sister!! She is a answered prayer, a most unexpected surprise I never dared to hope to find such a beautiful gift in this dark pit of hell. If you want to know what a Cover Sister is .. ask me! I will be proud to tell you!!

All I can offer this day is my heart .. my love and to tell you .. You Matter to Me!! I have added you to my paryer card and will keep you close in my heart. My heart hurts for you, for your pain and please believe you are not alone! I will hold your hand for as long as it takes and I will never ever judge you my dear sweet friend!!

Vaylorie

Dear Terri,

Sending a big hug for you today! I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time. I think that going through a situation where you feel so bad daily is like a horrible routine, the cycle needs to be broken. I had a time in my own life where I just lost it, I felt extremely sick and weak for months. I also had severe anxiety attacks, several per day and was working full time with children at home. It was the worst time of my life. I tried everything then to pull myself out of it, and it did eventually get better, but it just had to run it's course (or so it seems).

I did not use AD's, but I did use some xanax to help with the anxiety. I also had to give myself permission to cut back on everything, and take some time to pamper myself. I rested more and just realized that I needed to take better care of myself. I also devoted time to reading and keeping a positive note on things, so that I didn't dwell on only negative thoughts (which sink us deeper). It is work...you have to try and change it up a bit.

It could be hormonal, I think looking back at it all, it probably was for me as well, along with too much stress. I just worried constantly, I had health problems, financial and family situations, all of that combined. Sometimes we don't realize the toll that these things can take. Back off from worry and try to change your life, make it simpler for now, and rest and retreat to things you enjoy.

Sometimes just having someone to talk with helps. You will get over this!!!!

take care, Juliann

Are you on any type of hormones?This could help you tremendously.Also some vitamins are helpful such as a b complex,magnesium,and calcium.Walking for 30 minutes a day can also help.You are not crazy.The chemicals in your body are messed up due to the peri.I am so sorry that you feel so bad,but you will get through this.Prayers and hugs.GOD-bless

I think when it first hits you you are in shock[fear of the fear]it takes a while to settle down and learn the coping skills to talk yourself through it.There was a mental hospital not far from were I live and I remember when I couldn't drive by it because I was sure I'de end up there.Anxiety still comes and goes[especially in the mornings]As soon as everybody leaves I have to do some yoga.Just a few simple postures it's the only thing that seems to work since it targets the central nervous system.I can be crying and shaking but after, I calm down.Some examples are"spinal twist"-helps cure disorders of the central nervous system "cobra"helps relieve problems of the uterus and ovaries "shoulder stand"helps with insomnia and depression.This may seem simplistic but I feel it is one of the things that has helped me.Just remember your not going crazy though it does feel like it at times.Take care Lumz

Thank you squiggle and vaylorie for your loving heartfelt posts. I have been crying for over an hour now, just so desperate for answers.

Squiggle == I have the Claire Weekes' book Hope and Help for your nerves. I haven't been able to learn how to "float". How do you do that? Also, do you wake with the morning anxiety every single morning. Mine starts out mild and then builds to an amazingly intense level and then in the evenings I feel much better.....except for today. It is almost like something actually is gripping you from the inside and I get nauseous and can't eat. I introduced Valerian at night time to help me sleep a couple of days ago. Maybe that could be interacting with the clonazapam? Two gynos told me that if I have this every single day then it is not hormones......that crushed me and made me feel hopeless because now I have no idea what is causing this. Thyroid......brain tumor.....adrenal turmor....????? In order to be hormones, it has to cycle. I don't think I believe them. Also, I have lots of night sweats. Should I turn to an endocrinologist? So many questions.

Vaylorie == Your post is so very touching and loving. Thank you for that! Can I ask what your symptoms are? And yes, I am curious about a Cover Sister. Thank you for adding me to your prayer card and for holding my hand. I am a woman of faith, but I feel like I am dead spiritually, like I can't connect or maybe it's just that I am having a hard time waiting for God to answer and lift me out of this pit, even halfway.....

THanks so much for your help......i just don't know where to turn.....it is starting to affect my marriage and I have a wonderful husband. I just don't feel like doing anything....everyday things like cleaning and cooking, or planning things like vacations ..... it's just too much and gives me horrible jolts of anxiety. Then again I feel racing adrenaline or whatever going through my body for no reason. If this would let up for just a few days, I could get a handle on things. Thanks again.......much love and hugs Terri

I think the floating comes with practice Terri. First you need to learn to stop fearing the fear. Remember what Claire says - fear is just a feeling brought on by the oversensitive nervous system in your body. It cannot kill you. You might find it helps to say this to yourself repeatedly for a few days?

Re the floating - it comes with the acceptance I think. Don't try & do too much at once. When I started driving again, I just sat in the car the first day, then just drove to the end of the road the next.

I would definitely recommend the acupuncture for calming everything down if it's something which you would feel comfortable having. I am a real sceptic with many things like that but there does seem to be some unexplained science behind it; it really seemed to work for me & I don't believe it was a placebo effect as I wasn't expecting it to work at all.

I did have that morning anxiety every single day for months, now I just get it occasionally. It doesn't spiral anymore because I am not afraid of it now but it is still horribly unpleasant. Mine was the same, every day those horrid jitters for all morning and sometimes the afternoon too - the evenings were better, except when i had a panic attack too. I so feel for you because it is frightening but please remember - you can and will get better from this.

I used to try & hide it all from my kids. i had a bad stomach too at the time & had to say to them that was why I was spending my days in bed.

After my bad reaction to the betablockers which followed another bad reaction to some PPI stomach meds, I feared all meds for a while so didn't take any of the things you mentioned so can't help there. I had to find my way through without any. But I do now logically believe meds can help sometimes.

Terri - First off, (((((((HUGS))))))

So many of us here have been there or are there. You are NOT alone and are NOT crazy.
I think some of what I would say has already been said, especially Squiggles.
It is painful - when I very first joined here in 2003, I felt a lot like you talk about, and went through over a year of CBT.
I was not period free when this all hit and I was 43. I had a break from periods this but still am getting them again.
I do think if you are on Meds that you should be with a good Dr, and we all know how that is not easy.
You WILL find one to believe you - some say that I think because they are so busy or stressed themselves.
Just keep going, keep trying and don't give up.

My husband taught me an amazing meditation style that is easy and works.
I have tried em all - the tapping thing EFT? Yoga, and all those...but this one was instantaneous.
CBT did not work for me at all, but I know some who it brought out of the worst of panic.

You need to find your own stride. That is not to say you are alone, there are so many people right here
who will help you and be there with you and for you, I can assure you of that.

Keep writing, and reading and help will come and time will pass, and some answers will soften or just happen.

Thinking of you,
Mary Beth

Terri - it might help to separate the health anxiety & general anxiety elements in your mind, although they do feed each other and make each other worse. . General anxiety seems to be hormonal in its root but can be brought under control. Health anxiety tends to be very much based on worries about certain symptoms - what could they be etc etc There is definitely a hormonal element to it but it is based on conscious negative thoughts whereas the general one is just your body & subconcious acting without you.

I never had either before peri. Then wham! My whole stomach was a knot as you describe, every single day!

I have dealt with the general anxiety in that now I don't fear it any more. It has eased 95%. I still get hormonal jittery feelings but not as often because my system is not permanently on edge. It doesn't spiral into a bigger knot anymore.

The health anxiety needed further work with the CBT course and is better but not completely gone. I do use a few techniques like allowing myself a certain "worry time" each day and postponing my worries until then. Also trying to think of the "most likely" reason why I feel the way I do & going along with that. Trying to face the worst case scenario.

I don't spiral my HA out of control much anymore but i do still get the negative thoughts and it is tiring reasoning with myself over and over again.

And for some more positives: Night sweats - are normal in peri. I never had a tumour - no reason why you would have one either. I got better - so will you! ((((Hugs)))

I DO fear the fear every single morning, I fear it coming on. Sometimes the thought, "Oh here it comes" enters my mind. I get up shower and cry while i'm trying to get ready for work. It builds and I feel trapped at my job until I finally take a clonazepam at about mid morning. In the past I just always took it as needed...maybe 3 times a week. Now, since June .... I take it everyday and I think it is also bringing me so far down that it is making me horribly depressed. This is a horrible cycle, but I still wonder if it is physical at all.

This all started in June when my son got married and moved out of the house. I began experiencing grief and then the anxiety of the adjustment kicked in and now the anxiety and alternating depression is out of control. BUT I still think something else is contributing....hormones or whatever because I have always been able to handle things better in the past. I do have health anxiety also, like you and am dreading a repeat mammo in 2 weeks. It is a follow up from last May when I had a false positive so you can imagine what is going through my head about that upcoming appt.

I will check into the acupuncture, thanks for that suggestion and I'm glad that it worked for you. I trust you when you say that I will get through this. I really is hard, though, to accept that there is no one out there that can pin point something and then cure it. I am not used to being sick. I have always been a very healthy person with the exception of the health anxiety that I have always had and I tend to be a worrier. I will get my Weekes book back out and work on the floating, hopefully I can get a handle on it.

Thank you for taking the time for me. You are an angel and I'm so happy for you that you are doing well. ((((((HUGS))))) Terri

Mary Beth.....don't think i posted that right.......i'll try again........just curious what was you husband's meditaion method???

squiggles.....do you really think that the general anxiety is from hormones? if that is true then that would make sense to me because my health anxiety is much different. the generalized anxiety is so frightening and intense that i have to fight off a panic, can't focus and can't socialize. this is not good because i work in an elementary school with special needs children and lots of teachers. my HA is more like elevated worry and catastrophizing and what if's. the GA is just there. they are different. i am just stuck in this daily dread/fear/med cycle. you are so right when you say that it is so tiring reasoning with yourself and over and over again trying to figure things out to comfort yourself. the very sad part is that i am missing out on life and that is absolutely killing me.

how long have you been in peri? thanks.......terri

Hi Terri,

He had to walk me through it - it took a long time to learn, but it worked.
All sorts of things - like sitting relaxed, palms upwards, thumbs and middle fingers in a ring touching,
and I just this second asked him - cuz he walked me thru it for an hour recently when he was laid off,
and with only 2 weeks notice with no real severance package after 10 years,
and we both got anxiety that few days - we switched off each others' methods.

He tells me just now it was a combination of known taught methods he researched over years.
Visualization of any place on your body - but feet is best - and imagining vessels expanding and all sorts of things.
I am not a meditation expert, I use just regular deep breathing and praying. But he walked me thru
it and it did help a lot. I don't recall it, it was very relaxing like being hypnotised or something, othing I ever encountered previously
I need to ask him to walk me thru again soon though. My suggestion for his method is find a hypnotherapist.
Acupuncture helped me a lot until I had to stop for health reasons. That worked very well in fact.


Mary Beth

MB

So sorry to hear you are in the place where you think you will stay forever, you wont I had exactly same issues once I went over my usual 6 months without a period it hit me hard, I thought I was going totally mad. What I found is sleep was needed my daughter got some antihistamines ( sorry if thats spelt wrong ) I took them for 4 nights and got 4 nights of uninterrupted sleep which allowed me to give my body the rest it needed, trouble is now for me is I am on BP medication and I cant take anything in case in has an affect on the med, so now they are checking my blood and assessing my HRT so I will find out next week what the next step is, I still get the morning anxiety and I dont feel good until I get home after work and rest on the loungeroom floor. The girls here are great for support and I know by exchanging ideas etc here I am going to get through it as you will. I wish I could have a period just to calm things down but that isn't going to happen they tell me

the antihistamines sounds like a good idea. i feel like i am also suffering from exhaustion. i have gotten only about 2 hours of sleep a night for about 3 months. have you had any more periods?

your hrt isn't helping with the anxiety? I absolutely can't live with this anxiety anymore. it is taking too much out of me. i am just like you, feel horrible until about 6 in the evening and that only gives me about 4 hours to live every day with it. i am at my wits end, literally. do you really think this is all hormonal?????? ......my therapist told me yesterday that the CBT won't work if it is hormonal.

thanks for taking the time denni......hugs......terri

I would say its hormonal no i haven't had one since january but what made sense to me was my body wasn't used to going so long without one its like the biggest PMT ever isn't it you just want to wall to come down and clear everything.
You need a good sleep or two by the sounds of it.They need to get the HRT right too because different symptons are due to different hormones and there needs to be a balance. That is why they are looking at mine because I am being treated but I have, by the tests low oestrogen so when the dr looks at the list of symptons I still have next week he will adjust my treatment to fit what I need. get some sleep xxx

Terri -

Antihistamines can really help, but go easy if it's Benadryl.
I get allergies bad, and if I take Benadryl I feel awful the next morning and have a headache.
Whatever one works for you - Denni is right, let your body get some rest.
Morning anxiety - I think it's the worst. Especially if it's from worry, or hormones, not a random nightmare.

Hugs,
MB

thanks ladies for all your wonderful advice! I will try them. Mary beth, I would rather have a headache than lay awake with anxiety all night!! ha!
denni == how do they check your hormone levels, blood test???

I hear you!! Well Benadryl Liquigel caps work good, and is cheaper then Zyrtek (long acting, but no generics yet so it's expensive).
Hope you can report back sweet dreams!!

i'm going to raid my medicine cabinet right now to see what i can find! have you ever heard of antihistamines working the opposite way and keeping people awake? Let's pray it knocks me the heck out so I can deal better with the anxiety. Thanks Mary Beth... you have been a dear! Many hugs....thanks so much everyone for helping me get through this day. Love, Love, Love you all!!! Everyone of you ladies have taken the time to help me feel better this afternoon. GOd bless you all, you are all truly selfless! (((((((BIGHUGSTOYOUALL)))) Terri

They did a blood test when i was peri about 9 years ago but last night the doctor had a sheet with all these symptoms on it When I get home tonight I will put it up here it checks your oestrogen level by the symptons you have sleep tight

oh that would be great and very interesting! Thank you! I'll check back for it!

Hi Terri as promised here is what my dr gave me to score
The scoring is 0 if no problem
1 if mild
2 if moderate
3 if severe
hot flushes
dizziness
crawling skin
altered sleep pattern
irritable
depression
feeling unappreciated / unloved
anxiety
mood changes
backache
joint pains
muscle pains
new facial hair
dry skin
unusual tiredness
less sexual feelings
dry vagina
uncomfortable intercourse
urinary frequency

Now if your score is over 15 it indicates oestrogen deficiency
20-40 indicates you are not receiving treatment
below 10 indicates women on HRT
Hope this helps you work it out Good Luck with it keep in touch, you are just a little behind where I am at the moment so I will give you some support and reassurance when you need it.

Hi Terri
I have suffered with GAD for years but it really got going when I hit peri. I saw an anti aging specialist and was told to cut out caffeine, sweet foods and yeast. This helped to a degree. I also use 5HTP which helps boost serotonin levels. I understand that GABA can aso help so I have just ordered some. I use Bio Identicals and they made a big difference (except for a few little hiccups)
I also find that keeping occupied does help keep the anxiety at bay. There is a good anxiety website called anxiety care if you google it.
hugs Louise

I know what you are going through and it is horrible...I don't think you will end up in the psych ward...I'm still not there and god only
knows I sure felt like going there sometimes...still do..but you must remember that this is a hormone problem that manifests emotional problems
it is a symptom of imbalance.....you are not crazy....the problem with all of this is regaining the balance..finding what will do it for you.
I believe that just as the body can create illness (I know menopause is not considered an illness my the medical profession but a passage
....like some beautiful walk through the tulips...ya right) it has the ability to heal with the right stimulation whatever that might be for you...
that is the clincher...not everyone responds to the the same protocol so you may have to do some digging. Like "sqiggle" I have just
had my first accupuncture treatment yesterday....I know it is too soon to tell but I already feel like something has changed .....I have not
cried once since my treatment yesterday and I went to bed at 8pm and actually slept till 4am.....I can't believe it.....I have been an insomniac
for many years often not being to sleep for days and averaging maybe 3-4hrs sleep at a time. Also I have had maybe 2-3 hot flashes..I usually flash at
least every 30min....so I am keeping my fingers crossed....I have another treatment friday....so there is hope and you are not alone...trust me I know
those terrible feelings.....I have had them all...but I will find the answer if it's the last thing I ever do.....keep posting it really helps...

sending you energy and courage
be well

Dear 'TerriC'
Just came across your Post now and see that you have some wonderful responses from all our dear Sisters
You are definitely not crazy!We can all relate to how you are feeling as we have all had or are still having these awful symptoms
Yes I do believe that fluctuating Hormones have a lot to answer for.I started HRT at the age of 39 as my ovaries had shut down completely.Before I took them I was a mess and looked like a skeleton as I had a strong aversion to food. as well as extreme anxiety,sweating ,insomnia and depression.
I also got Prozac and Xanax to be taken for anxiety.
Fast forward to now!I am 58 and still on HRT as well as Prozac.I rarely need Xanax unless am very stressed due to domestic circumstances.
I practise Yoga and stay away from caffeine and alcohol.All these things help.
The more sleep you get the better you will feel and also try to force yourself out of the house for a walk even if it is only twenty minutes or so.
Keep posting and let us know how you are feeling
Big Hugs
Elizabeth

Yes I do Terri, certainly the morning jitters. I think the escalation of it is what we can control though. I have times when I get the jitters and am not worrying about health at all. The morning jitters are less frequent now because my body is calmed down but I still get a few.
I know those frightened panicky feelings when it has spiralled and you will get better from the spiralling - definitely. It sounds like you are doing amazingly working at the school while this is going on - you need to give yourself some real credit for that.

So just start with that feeling of hope that this will get better. It helps to know you are not alone in this because many others have the same horrid feelings. If you want try the accupuncture, as I say it really helped me from day 1.
There is also something called mindfulness (centering the mind on what is happening in the here & now) which helps some people.
There are some recordings of Claire Weekes on the internet - I wish I still had the links - someone posted them in a post here on PS - it may take some searching to find the post, it is on here somewhere, but if you listen to her, hearing her voice might help too.

Actually - I just googled Claire weekes recordings - here they are - they are free to download

http://www.controllinganxiety.com/dsp_downloads.php



RE the health "worrying" it really helped me to postpone it to a certain time of the day to give me a break - a time when i felt stronger - "worry hour"! Every time you start worrying try & say to yourself you will do this later at the assigned hour. It does give you a break.
(Incidentally my HA actually extends to my family too - I worry about their health and also if they are late home, has something happened to them).

Don't lie in bed when you get the nasty feeling in the morning, get up, have a lavender bath, post on here, make a coffee (decaff - as caffeine makes jitters worse!).

Peri started for me with migraines at about 39 I think. My anxiety hit about 3 years later. I'm now 45.


Hope this post makes sense - I've had about 20 interruptions whilst trying to write it LOL

Terri,
Oh dear, I am with you all the way.. Severe anxiety in the morning that is killing me. I do start to feel better at 6 pm too, but until then I cannot eat. So I think my exhaustion is from lack of food. At first my doctor said it was hormonal and put me on a hormone patch. It did not work. So i stopped. I'm 46 and haven't had a period in 7 yrs so why now all the anxiety. Never went through all the other symptoms that really bother women like hot flashes mood swings. I've been seeing a therapist for a yr now and really didn't get any where. My pshc. doc says gad and gave me Paxil and klonopin. Well it's like a roller coaster ride. I have to take the klonopin at night to sleep. Last yr I went days without sleep or food. It was not fun. I could say I am better but there are stressors that rear up and I'm in a full panic attack. I'm still learning and I think I will never know why I suffer like this. Don't search for an answer, because you will rack your brain. Believe me ,I tried everything to stop these feelings. Just know that you can pour your heart out her and people will listen and reassure your not alone or crazy. As I write this I feel your pain.....((((char))))

char - i think sometimes it is caused not so much by lack of a hormone but by the fluctuations or whatever that just make our bodies sensitive to everything at this time. I'm so sorry you are suffering too.

Denni.....are you there? Thank you so much for this list! Good grief, my score was 31! Since I am between 20-40 what does that mean exactly???

I just wanted to say hello and thank you to all you ladies for helping through the past 24 hours or so. I ended up not being able to work today. I took the antihistamine last night like some of you suggested and I slept well! I woke up at 5:30 am to a call off for work and took more and then I woke up at at 10:00 am and took my usual clonazepam and slept until 3:30 this afternoon! I am still having some jitters right now, though. My body and mind are just so exhausted........ALSO here is the kicker>>>>>>when I got up at 10:00 I went to the use the restroom and I spotted on tiny pink spot on the toilet tissue! SOOOO.....IS this hormonal? I haven't had a period since June and have had some other spotting in August.

To those of you who have acupuncture.....is it expensive?

Char....how in the world are you surviving? I feel so bad for you, we sound so much alike.

I still feel so weak and depressed, can you all still keep holding my hand? God bless you all.....much love...Terri

Hi Terri - accupuncture here in the Uk is about £38 (about $60 under current exchange rates but it may be cheaper there) a session. As I say i had about 6 sessions but originally we planned for 3 and I could have stopped there but they were helping me so much. I had them every 2 weeks after the first couple. The great thing about acupuncture is it treats the whole body, not just one symptom like Western meds do. The guy took a full history from me and treated a number of things at the same time.

Don't worry - we are all here for you and there are lots of previous posts where you can read about others here who have been going through the same thing. (((Hugs))) You are not alone

Thanks squiggle.... it is good to know you are there. I know I am not alone, but when I am in the anxiety state, it sure feels like no one else in the world could ever feel that way. Thanks for all your posts and time. This is a really horrible time! I am so tired of searching for something to help. I feel absolutely lost in a forest and can't find my way out. Thanks you so much for being out there......hugs......terri

ps....I am going to get back into the Claire Weekes book and download the sites

Hi Terri,

How you doin....((((hugs)))))
Well one good thing, you got some sleep.
I too went several months, almost 8-9? without a period, but mine was due to a
traumatic event in my old neighborhood. Then I got one when we moved a few months ago, and then they started again.
So I'm back to having my 23 day cycle I have had for most of my adult life. ( not hormonal, I'm a "bleeder").

Acupuncture - is around $90 for the first visit in the Boston area, often down to $75 if you have one particular insurance company,
and I don't know if anyone covers it. Even a few appointments are really helpful for stress and anxiety.
I found out by accident when I had tried every imaginable thing for chronic sinus problems and it helped BOTH.

Terri, I'll hold you hand as much as I can XXOXOX

My hubby has only part of next week on the job, then laid off, and income is zero, so I am not sure what all - we are trying to do a lot
but have a lot of things we are waiting for replies to do other things. Nighttime we are usually on line, and days sometimes
depends.....but I will hold your hand whenever I can. XOXOX
Mary Beth

Terri, I saw your post yesterday and did not respond because lately I have been feeling as bad as you. I just did not feel I had any words of encourgement that would make you feel better. But, after reading all the support you are receiving I thought I would chime in. Hang in there. I went through this about 3 years ago when I started peri and came out the other end just fine. Now 3 years post meno I think I am having hormone fluctuations again. I have cried almost non-stop for 3 days this week. Everything seems to make me sad and the news is so awful, and to top it all off I have to take a cross country trip for work in another week. Talk about anxiety! At any rate I know I will get through this and so will you. I think I will read all the notes of encourgement that have been sent to you in this string and gather strengh from them as well if you don't mind. Again, take care and know you will come though this just fine. After all, this is my second time through and I know it will end with positive results at some point in the near future when my hormones calm down; again!

Oh Mary Beth, You are so kind to be thinking of me when you have quite a lot on your shoulders yourself. You are back to a 23 day cycle?? That is how I had been up until about a year ago and then the periods began skipping all over the place. As far as your hubby's job, I am so sorry that this is happening. I'm sure something will be available for him to do before long. He won't have to go forever without a job, something will come his way. Do you work at home or outside of the home?

ok, a silly question about acupuncture.....I am a little leary of needles......do they use disposable needles?.....they don't reuse needles do they?

Thanks MB......xoxoxo Terri

They should use disposable needles... they showed me the new packs they were using..the needles are very fine and you can barely feel them if at all...the cost in this area is 40.00cad for a 45min session.
It is quite relaxing....I'll post more after my treatment on Fri...

be well

thanks for the info! that makes me feel better....yes please post after your treatment on Fri to let us know how it helped you. hugs....

Hi, Terry - xoxo

Yes, I always had one, Hemophilia.
Thank you Hubby loses income after next week.
He works out of the home and so do I but not right now, too many health things.

They DO use disposable needles and I hear ya - they are slim - I can no longer have acupuncture as they found out I have
Hemophilia ( well they knew I was a bleeder) and now I cannot. It's just as well, I was having odd problems that are not normal.
But for non bleeders, it's awesome. They are skinny and they do not reuse.

Not a silly question, I wanted to know, too!
Hugs,
MB

Ok, girls, regarding my very first post in this topic...........here comes the anxiety again! I feel it creeping and crawling. I took off work today and slept all day which was a Godsend thanks to the girls here who recommended taking an antihistamine. Now, though, I am feeling VERY nervous about the day TOMORROW! I am afraid of it, I am afraid of the anxiety that I know I will feel tomorrow. Do any of you feel trapped and watch the clock constantly when you are trapped in an anxiety state? Well, that is what I do for seven hours trying to get through the school day. Please help.....AGAIN... so sorry......

ps......I spotted one little pink spot this morning after not having a period since june. God bless and love you all.......

The anxiety will come and go I still get it because I am tired of feeling like this and just want it to stop it feels like I am gonna have this forever which just keeps feeding the anxiety our hormones do this its like one big PMT make the most of your clear thought days at first I needed a good 5 days in bed as it shocked me badly just out of the blue it happened.
I got about 2 weeks of feeling normal then it just hit me without warning, I guess you get to the stage where you get used to feeling like it but want it to stop.
I am always saying I want to be the happy person I was 5 months ago. This is why I ended up going to the dr's i need help with it, they have given me the incorrect hormone replacement I am sure as after 6 weeks I still suffer either that or my anxiety needs meds.
The score that I got on that card was 35 and I am on HRT. I think different symptons mean a different hormone because he said to me if I have trouble with not feeling loved would tell him I am not getting enough oestrogen.
Hopefully I will learn more on Monday when I go back to the dr's. Hang in there and try not to be scared of the sun coming up a few good nights of sleep will get you to the point of being able get some control of your thoughts.

thank you denni. i am sure i have an overstimulated nervous system as this has been going on for 5 months. i am going through a lot of changes. peri, midlife, my son moving out and getting married really hit me hard and started this last bout of "nerves". I miss him so badlyl this is just too much for my nervous system. i suffer from this every single day. i think maybe a couple of weeks ago i had a day when the "switch" was "off" so to speak and i felt normal. I agree that if I could sleep every night, then i could get a better handle on all of this. Oh, how I long to be myself. Thanks for all your help. lots of love....terri

Yes I now appreciate the old me i want her back maybe this is one of those lessons in life.

Hey Terri,


I sure have been there - I'm sorry I have not written today -
I had an MRI and then I see 2 Drs tomorrow early, plus a good friend goes in for
surgery early in the morning, too. The MRI was a Mobile one, so it was looser.
It shook so hard I was having some panic - and they had trouble with the IV's.
My whole body is still shaky - esp my hands. Have to prep some Documents for
tomorrow , but I am thinking of you and I am sorry if you said, and I'm not one to ask a million questions
and drive ya crazy - BUT Have you tried Rescue Remedy? Herb Store/ Grocery Store.
I used to use it a lot when I had real bad panic. I used it once in a while - it can help.
Only drawback is it uses cheap brandy as it's preservative, so your breath can smell of alcohol.
They have little lozenges too now though.

Well I have to go network for jobs and get medical stuff ready so I will say nite nite,
See you soon HUGS!!!
MB

Terri,
I also have a very over stimulated nervous system. I am also going through alot right now. My 23 yr olddaughter that just had ababy 3 months ago found out she has cancer. Melanoma from a mole on her leg that spread to her lymph nodes. She is having surgery next week to remove the nodes. Then 12 months of intense treatments. All with a 3 month baby. It will be very challenging for her and me. With my anxiety this just might put me over the edge but I have no choice to be strong. She will be in the hosp at least 3 days and I will have to stay and watch the baby. I need meds to sleep so I hope baby will sleep throgh the night. Keep posting...We help each other.
((((char))))

Dear 'char'
I am praying for your daughter and your precious grandchild.It must be a very difficult and frightening time.
God give you the strength to get through and hopefully your daughter's treatment will be successful.
Please keep us Posted
Warm Hugs
God Bless
Elizabeth

Dear sweet Terri,

I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. You are not alone at all. I am exactly where you are too, except my anxiety levels have started dropping over the last few months, however, still leaving me with a host of other "mental" symptoms I deal with on a daily basis. I This all happened just about a year ago, a few months into my 40th birthday and when it first hit me I prayed for death because I felt so absolutely tortured in a way I never experienced before. I imagined so many times I would end up being taken away somewhere, but each time I thought "this is it, this is the end!" I found someway back to myself again. I honestly dont know how I made it through last Spring which was probably the darkest time of my life. I quoted soul survivors' post above because I echo everything she stated. Thank you soul We are NOT crazy, though I have felt many times as soul did that i would surely end up in a psyche ward. But here I am still muddling through, so much of my strength I owe to all the amazing women on this board. Soul, you stated it so perfectly, that this is an imbalance that must be corrected and everyone is so individual in their chemical makeup that you just have to try to find what works for you. I have found that vitamin D3 supplements have helped tremendously with the anxiety, as well as Magnesium, B12 and GABA. I have been taking those for months and the anxiety was one of the first things to be alleviated to such a significant degree. So Terri, please dont give up and please keep trying to see what works. Please come here as often as you need to. I know that is what saw me through. It still does. You will find many of my posts when I could not bear it. Sometimes I still go into that black hole, but I know now that I will come out again, its just a matter of time. We are all here for you. PM me if you would to talk anytime. I am so sorry for all you are going through, but I promise you that one day the darkest days WILL be behind you and you will find peace again. God bless, dee