Ladies I really need to vent,and I need a lot of prayers.As most of you know my family has been going through a lot this year.My home was broken into in April,my husbands aunt passed away in July,then my mother in law passed in August-she was like a mother to me.Then my husbands uncle passed away a few weeks ago.All the while my husband is the executor of my MIL's estate,trying to get everything taken care of.Well,my brother in law is driving us insane.He is mental.He is calling us,harassing us,leaving crude messages on my answering machine.Showing up at the MILS house trying to start fights.Finally yesterday while at my husbands uncles house he showed up and started again-I picked up my phone and called the sherrif-my brother in law ran.The police said if he threatens us in person again to call 911.Well,when we got home from trick or treating with my kids we had 5 more ugly messages on my machine.Then at 12:00 at night he starts again!!!My husband picked up the phone and told me to use my cell phone to call the police-when the brother in law heard the word police he shut up and hung up.I filed a phone harassment report,and then blocked his number from calling.The police woman said I could go to court and get a restraining order,but I do not know if I will.So far this nut job has threatened to hurt my husband,put us through he**,kill us,sue us,and now he says a lawyer will be calling us on Monday.Ladies my insides are so shaky.I am literally shaking all over.My nerves are so messed up as are my husbands.All we have ever done is try to be good people,have peace.We let this man in his mothers house twice to let him have whatever he wanted,per the will.He says we stole items from the house,which is a lie-just like everything else he says.I am sorry this is so long but I am so upset.I am afraid I am going to break down.Oh ladies,what should I do???I am so frightened,so nervous.I can't stop shaking and I have three kids to take care of.GOD bless

Lady E, PLEASE get a restraining order. Some people get very worked up about family possessions and they can turn violent, they get so worked up. Don't worry about your relationship with him, your husband's relationship,with him, etc.--you need to protect your family.

Just keep the messages on your answering machine--don't delete them. Go down to the police station and hopefully you can get the messages by remote with a code and play them for the police. If you can't do that, bring the policeman/woman over to listen to them. That way it's all documented.

It's so sad that you are having to go through this time of grieving. This should be a time when family comes together yet all to often it tears them apart. While the first and foremost issue is to protect your family I wonder if your BNL is lashing out in grief or is it greed? Is there another family member that could talk with him to find out the root of his anger?

I will pray for all of you,

Lady:

I agree with Frisbee, get a restraining order. Keep all evidence of his harassment so that you have documentation especially if things escalate. Please protect yourself physically and mentally!!!

I will be in prayer for you and your family.
Hugs,
Jeaninne

Lady, I would get the restraining order. Our ex neighbor gave us a home then turned into one of our worst nightmares. We filed and got a temp order and go to court on the 12th for the permanent one. I was a bundle of wracked nerves until we did this. Now, we have the law on our side and if he breaks it...he goes to jail. No if ands or buts. Do it. It WILL make you feel safer if nothing else.

Thanks ladies.I am still considering the restraining order.As for it being grief or greed-it is greed and insanity.My brother in law is a people user-he used to go and scream at my MIL and talk down to her her-even in her last two weeks of life.He has mental problems(un diagnosed)but I am thinking bi polar.He lies constantly,thinks he can brow beat you into getting his way,almost like a 2 year old having a screaming tantrum.When we put our foot down and said no to his demands he blew up-apparently no one has ever told this 45 year old man "no".I have never heard so many vile curse words in my life.Me and the kids and hubby took a long drive in the country today and enjoyed the leaves.I feel a lot more relaxed.He has not called since last night.I blocked his # and if he calls from any other # I will block that as well.My husband bought an audio recorder,if he ever starts yelling at us again it will be on tape along with the messages on my answering machine.I refuse to allow this jerk to ruin my life.I am going to start looking towards Thanksgiving,I love cooking that meal,and concentrate on things I can do something about.Thanks again my sisters,keep praying because it helps so much!!GOD-bless

Neither the police nor your brother-in-law are going to take you seriously without the restraining order and if you are not going to listen to the cops and get a restraining order, I can almost guarantee they are going to stop listening to you. If you get a restraining order and YOU do not uphold your end of it, there is no doubt whatsoever that they will NOT take you seriously. Do you want this to END or do you want the drama to continue? This is the way they will see YOU! And they do not have time for people who are not going to follow through!! Believe me, I know it isn't easy! You want this person to go away on his own, but that is not going to happen. This is HIS family and he has a right to be involved, in his mind.

I agree with TidalWaves about getting that restraining order. It will give you some power to keep him and his behavior away from you and your family. Since, he's mental he won't reason like the rest of you. He may defy the order but at least the police will be aware. Sometimes, we put up with to much! Yes, plan that Thanksgiving dinner but seriously consider acting on getting that order. Praying for you!

This subject hits very close to home for me, Lady. That's why I am so passionate about it. I have BTDT and as harsh as it seems, if you want this to end, you HAVE to follow protocol.

I understand-I am just so sick of all of this-in order to get a restraining order I have to go to court and pay court cost-how much is all of that?I am going to call the court house and ask.I am so tired of having chaos in my life.Thanks for caring-GOD-bless

I can't agree more forcefully with Tidalwave ... the cost is nothing compared to the peace of mind this will bring - stay safe, stay calm and avoid this person like the plague, bi-polar people (if this is his diagnosis) tend to "focus" on persons they believe are after them or something they have, paranoia and delusional are a toxic combination. Call the court house, I know it is different in the USA, but here you have to make an appt. to speak with a judge after applying for one - you have to present evidence, so keep all those tapes he left messages, they are your proof, any witnesses who heard him speaking or uttering threats have to be named as witnesses, this is serious business. He isn't going to go away ...
Sending good and positive thoughts your way .... always watch your back and your family's back!! xo

(((((Lady E)))))

LadyE .. Hello Neighbor
I'm in Tennessee too!!

As I read your post I got so tense .. I am so very sorry for your situation!! I had something similiar last Christmas and it was a living nightmare!!!!!!!!
It had me so torn up, just RUINED my holidays. It was a divorce situation with custody issues involving three children. This was my brother
who's wife just totally flipped out at age 37 and reverted back to acting like a 16 year old. My brother gained full custody due to her use of drugs and leaving the children alone in the home for hours on end. Was bringing a differnt guy home at night .. is was such a mess. One of thes guys robber a drug store and was caught the following day at HER HOUSE!! There is a 13 year old who was so feared she wet herself when this mother came to get her. Anyway, what ended up happeing is through the Christmas break the children stayed at my home because my brother was working 12 hour days. This crazy nut job would circle my house blowing the horn and screaming vulgar things for hours, was throwing out glass beer bottles into the road. I live in a subdivision so you can imagine my horror!! She would call our home at all hours of the night, I'm talking like 3am!! We blocked every number she used. I called the police I know at least 15 times .. in one night I had to call four different times due to her driving in our yard and acting like she was going to drive into our house! The kids were crying and I was going nuts! Such a stressful situation!

It did get better but not until we took action, I was like you did not need the hassle did not want to get involved but I had no choice. These three children were in such trama it has left very deep emotional scars. Please take care and do not count any of the threat to be nothing. You do not what people are capable of. People get insane when it comes to family issues and this guy is dangerous. We installed a security light outside which still makes me feel better. I refused to allow the phone calls to continue so blocked every number she used to call our home. If she showed up I called 911 period. No discussing no trying to deal with her .. I called. The children's safety was the main concern and she was so out of control. This guy is acting upon impulse and he very well could snap!! You hear how this happens almost every night on the news and about the victims that are left in the paths of their destruction. Person snap and go off the deep end. It's serious so I suggest you react serious!!!!

Please be safe, watch when you leave your house .. prepare for the worse and hope for the best!! I even purchased a hand gun and took two classes to learn how to use the thing. I received a permit to carry and trust me if she would have ever entered into my home by force with bodily threats I would have used with no regrets!! We have the right to protect outselves!!

You are in my heart, I hope things will get better soon! I'm so sorry you are dealing with this issue .. it's very difficult and so very stressful. If there is anything I can do to help .. I am here!!! Do what is needed to feel safef!!

Many hugs,
Vaylorie

I am so sorry that you had to deal with that!I talked to the police again,they told me if the man does anything else to call their family crisis center who will help me get an order of protection.Tomorrow a third party is going to call him and inform him that he is not to contact us or we will go to court.I also have my handgun carry permit.It does give me a better sense of security.Mostly I am learning how much my church family loves me-they are offering to go with us to his mothers house every weekend just to witness,help us pack up the remaining items,they even offered to go to court with me if I need it and have found us a lawyer-if we need one.I appreciate your thoughts and will always remember my peri sisters being here for me.GOD bless

Well today we got a letter from some lawyer.On Monday we will be calling a lawyer ourselves.I am praying hard,trying to not fall apart.Our church family has already gathered around us.We know we have done nothing wrong,and I am praying that GOD will protect us from lies.Oh ladies,I need a breather!I hate this for my husband,he is sickened by this.He was apologizing to me today-saying he was sorry that someone from his family would do this to us.Pray for him ladies.He is trying so hard to be strong and do the right thing.My mother in law had a legal will,making my husband executor-he has been following that will.I do not see how he could be in any trouble for that.Please send some prayers up for his brother as well-this man is obviously sick and lost to do a horrible thing like this to people who have never done anything bad to him.GOD-bless