Hi
I think I might be having a bread down. I am living in a state of fear now. I find myself waiting to die. I have so much going on in my life don't even know wher to begin to help myself. I worry about everything, I'm constantly stressed. I think every little thing is going to kill me. Everytime I go to a doc for help they say you are fine, you just have anxiety and stress. So many things have happened in the past 10 months. I lost my father, the business I work for is so slow sometimes I wonder if its going to make it, my son is never going to grow up, he's 24 smokes pot, doesn't seem to care about anything except what he wants, is never accountable for himself, just wants to work come home smoke pot, lay around, yes he helps out at home, but I have this feeling he's never going to leave home, he's never going to grow up, obviously this most of my problem, my father in law died 2 months ago and my mother in law is not well and we may have to move her in to help her. I'm starting now to anxeity at home because I don't want to have sex and I'm constantly waiting for my husband to want that and I just can't. With him its all about that and just getting dressed in the same room, make me have anxiety, is that stupid or what. I'm totally stressed, I can't get enough air, I'm worried all the time about my health and I'm waiting for something to kill me and them maybe they will find out what is wrong with me. I think after all the years of docs treating women with hormone issues they would be able to help more. None of these docs really know how to help this, I know my hormones are off, because of the cycle the symptoms come in, but the docs can't help. There has to be someone who knows about this stuff, there has to be someone who can do proper testing. I'm tired of waking up every day wondering whats going to happen today, I'm tired of feeling like crap for an hour then fine oly to feel like crap again in 3 hrs. Its none stop, if I get a few good days out of 30 then I'm shocked. I'm 47 yrs old and i'm already tired of living, I get very irrated with so many things, just making my lunch in the morning can send me over the edge. I'm angry all the time, I hate doing anything, i get very frustrated just having to let the dog out. I'm tired of taking care of everything or having to argue about things because everyone in my house is so lazy, procrastinators and just want to do the least they can.
Do anyone else feel like they giving up thier life so everyone around them can be happy, while we are miserable. Boy am I in a bad place today. I would like to hear from anyone who feels like this at times and what you do to feel better?
Hugs
Patty
Full Version: I just need to talk
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Yes, I feel the same way a lot of days. I have three grown men in my house. Husband who's 50 and two children 21 and 19. They all work and so do I (inhome daycare). Outside of their work they do little unless nagged. I am tired of nagging. I am tired of cleaning. I am tired of being tired and I am finally starting to feel the repurcussions of years of stress. So I am slowing down. We eat out a LOT more or do the tv dinner thing. I don't clean unless it's a "have to" which is sad because I HAVE to keep a clean house for my job
. I charge my boys for rent and food so they do help out. I don't care if they live here. They are productive boys but they WILL pay their own way as adults! I think I am learning to become more selfish. I have to or I will give and give till I die and I WANT to get SOMETHING GOOD out of the next 43 years! I have been brainstorming about different things I want to do for me but sadly have not found much yet....
Yes, I feel the same way a lot of days. I have three grown men in my house. Husband who's 50 and two children 21 and 19. They all work and so do I (inhome daycare). Outside of their work they do little unless nagged. I am tired of nagging. I am tired of cleaning. I am tired of being tired and I am finally starting to feel the repurcussions of years of stress. So I am slowing down. We eat out a LOT more or do the tv dinner thing. I don't clean unless it's a "have to" which is sad because I HAVE to keep a clean house for my job
. I charge my boys for rent and food so they do help out. I don't care if they live here. They are productive boys but they WILL pay their own way as adults! I think I am learning to become more selfish. I have to or I will give and give till I die and I WANT to get SOMETHING GOOD out of the next 43 years! I have been brainstorming about different things I want to do for me but sadly have not found much yet....
Dear Pattyfl,
I feel exactly the same way. Last year was very rough for me. That's when I found this site. I was sad, depressed, angry, lonely but I couldn't stand to be around people, lol. My adult kids were acting like newborns, they would call me constantly for help, I had to watch my grandkids, cause the parents were so helpless, my daughter got in trouble with the law, the list goes on and on. I did not look forward to waking up another day. Prayer saved me, God answered my prayers for help and relief. Have u asked the doctors for anti depressants? Hold on, it will get better, just don't ever, ever give up or in. Be encouraged, u r not alone in this. Meno can cause havoc on a persons life. Live just one day at a time, if that is too much, live one hour at a time. Relief is on it's way.
I feel exactly the same way. Last year was very rough for me. That's when I found this site. I was sad, depressed, angry, lonely but I couldn't stand to be around people, lol. My adult kids were acting like newborns, they would call me constantly for help, I had to watch my grandkids, cause the parents were so helpless, my daughter got in trouble with the law, the list goes on and on. I did not look forward to waking up another day. Prayer saved me, God answered my prayers for help and relief. Have u asked the doctors for anti depressants? Hold on, it will get better, just don't ever, ever give up or in. Be encouraged, u r not alone in this. Meno can cause havoc on a persons life. Live just one day at a time, if that is too much, live one hour at a time. Relief is on it's way.
Hi Ladybugs:
Thank you so much for ur response, I though I was loosing it. I suppose alot of this can be contributed to the fact that we as wives and moms have spent the last 20 to 25 years taking care of al the people with no relief for ourselves and finally once day we all wake up and think hey Im living with a house full of selfish people.
I liked that you have kind of gone on strike, eating out, not cooking so much, not cleaning up after everyone. Ithink I will go on strike, altho if I do the house will probable fall down. They will all be asking each other, is mom okay, she is such a freak about clean and this place is a mess.
Thank you again so much for ur support, it sure helps knowing I'm not alone.
Hugs
Patty
Thank you so much for ur response, I though I was loosing it. I suppose alot of this can be contributed to the fact that we as wives and moms have spent the last 20 to 25 years taking care of al the people with no relief for ourselves and finally once day we all wake up and think hey Im living with a house full of selfish people.
I liked that you have kind of gone on strike, eating out, not cooking so much, not cleaning up after everyone. Ithink I will go on strike, altho if I do the house will probable fall down. They will all be asking each other, is mom okay, she is such a freak about clean and this place is a mess.
Thank you again so much for ur support, it sure helps knowing I'm not alone.
Hugs
Patty
QUOTE (ladybugsforu @ Oct 23 2009, 04:47 PM) 
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Yes, I feel the same way a lot of days. I have three grown men in my house. Husband who's 50 and two children 21 and 19. They all work and so do I (inhome daycare). Outside of their work they do little unless nagged. I am tired of nagging. I am tired of cleaning. I am tired of being tired and I am finally starting to feel the repurcussions of years of stress. So I am slowing down. We eat out a LOT more or do the tv dinner thing. I don't clean unless it's a "have to" which is sad because I HAVE to keep a clean house for my job . I charge my boys for rent and food so they do help out. I don't care if they live here. They are productive boys but they WILL pay their own way as adults! I think I am learning to become more selfish. I have to or I will give and give till I die and I WANT to get SOMETHING GOOD out of the next 43 years! I have been brainstorming about different things I want to do for me but sadly have not found much yet....
Yes, I feel the same way a lot of days. I have three grown men in my house. Husband who's 50 and two children 21 and 19. They all work and so do I (inhome daycare). Outside of their work they do little unless nagged. I am tired of nagging. I am tired of cleaning. I am tired of being tired and I am finally starting to feel the repurcussions of years of stress. So I am slowing down. We eat out a LOT more or do the tv dinner thing. I don't clean unless it's a "have to" which is sad because I HAVE to keep a clean house for my job
. I charge my boys for rent and food so they do help out. I don't care if they live here. They are productive boys but they WILL pay their own way as adults! I think I am learning to become more selfish. I have to or I will give and give till I die and I WANT to get SOMETHING GOOD out of the next 43 years! I have been brainstorming about different things I want to do for me but sadly have not found much yet....
Hi Meno:
Thank you for ur support. I know what you mean when you said, you didn't look forward to waking up another day, I've thought many times. I wonder if its just the kids nowa days they all seem to almost helpless. I 'm sure ur like me you raised them to be self sufficient and all of a sudden its as if they know nothing. I know my handling stress is not as it used to be, but I'm sick of being the one to handle it all. But I will hold on and not give up. Maybe its time to take back alittle control of my own.
Thanks again for listening, its helped so much
Hugs,
Patty
Thank you for ur support. I know what you mean when you said, you didn't look forward to waking up another day, I've thought many times. I wonder if its just the kids nowa days they all seem to almost helpless. I 'm sure ur like me you raised them to be self sufficient and all of a sudden its as if they know nothing. I know my handling stress is not as it used to be, but I'm sick of being the one to handle it all. But I will hold on and not give up. Maybe its time to take back alittle control of my own.
Thanks again for listening, its helped so much
Hugs,
Patty
QUOTE (menopaused @ Oct 23 2009, 05:36 PM)
Dear Pattyfl,
I feel exactly the same way. Last year was very rough for me. That's when I found this site. I was sad, depressed, angry, lonely but I couldn't stand to be around people, lol. My adult kids were acting like newborns, they would call me constantly for help, I had to watch my grandkids, cause the parents were so helpless, my daughter got in trouble with the law, the list goes on and on. I did not look forward to waking up another day. Prayer saved me, God answered my prayers for help and relief. Have u asked the doctors for anti depressants? Hold on, it will get better, just don't ever, ever give up or in. Be encouraged, u r not alone in this. Meno can cause havoc on a persons life. Live just one day at a time, if that is too much, live one hour at a time. Relief is on it's way.
I feel exactly the same way. Last year was very rough for me. That's when I found this site. I was sad, depressed, angry, lonely but I couldn't stand to be around people, lol. My adult kids were acting like newborns, they would call me constantly for help, I had to watch my grandkids, cause the parents were so helpless, my daughter got in trouble with the law, the list goes on and on. I did not look forward to waking up another day. Prayer saved me, God answered my prayers for help and relief. Have u asked the doctors for anti depressants? Hold on, it will get better, just don't ever, ever give up or in. Be encouraged, u r not alone in this. Meno can cause havoc on a persons life. Live just one day at a time, if that is too much, live one hour at a time. Relief is on it's way.
Patty,
You are handling an awful lot of things right now, no wonder you feel lousy. I lost my dad at 47 too and the year or two that followed were rough, really rough. My anxiety was over the top. Xanax really helped me get over the rough spots and so did birth control pills to help even me out. I dont' know if they are an option for you, nor do I want to be a pill pusher, but they worked for me. Be kind to yourself, carve out time to do something that used to make you happy and see if there is still something there that would spark an interest in something good. It takes time to heal and with your inlaws too it is not easy. Give yourself time, my pcp said it is hard for our bodies to cope with life when our hormones are going so wacky and they change by the minute. Hang in there and keep talking to us for help.
You are handling an awful lot of things right now, no wonder you feel lousy. I lost my dad at 47 too and the year or two that followed were rough, really rough. My anxiety was over the top. Xanax really helped me get over the rough spots and so did birth control pills to help even me out. I dont' know if they are an option for you, nor do I want to be a pill pusher, but they worked for me. Be kind to yourself, carve out time to do something that used to make you happy and see if there is still something there that would spark an interest in something good. It takes time to heal and with your inlaws too it is not easy. Give yourself time, my pcp said it is hard for our bodies to cope with life when our hormones are going so wacky and they change by the minute. Hang in there and keep talking to us for help.
Enough:
I love that name. I do have xanax and I finally took one a bit ago and it helped alot. Now I know it was just panic and anxiety hitting me, its when it does it out of knowwhere that I get scared. I'm so thankful for all of you here. Ur support means alot, since as we know our families really don't understand this and actually you can't even really explain it to them. Especially men, I work with men and I've heard some comments about thier wives and how they think meno is all in our heads. Yeah yeah. I will take your advise and do something for me. Thanks so much for ur support and just listening.
Hugs
Patty
I love that name. I do have xanax and I finally took one a bit ago and it helped alot. Now I know it was just panic and anxiety hitting me, its when it does it out of knowwhere that I get scared. I'm so thankful for all of you here. Ur support means alot, since as we know our families really don't understand this and actually you can't even really explain it to them. Especially men, I work with men and I've heard some comments about thier wives and how they think meno is all in our heads. Yeah yeah. I will take your advise and do something for me. Thanks so much for ur support and just listening.
Hugs
Patty
QUOTE (enough @ Oct 23 2009, 05:58 PM)
Patty,
You are handling an awful lot of things right now, no wonder you feel lousy. I lost my dad at 47 too and the year or two that followed were rough, really rough. My anxiety was over the top. Xanax really helped me get over the rough spots and so did birth control pills to help even me out. I dont' know if they are an option for you, nor do I want to be a pill pusher, but they worked for me. Be kind to yourself, carve out time to do something that used to make you happy and see if there is still something there that would spark an interest in something good. It takes time to heal and with your inlaws too it is not easy. Give yourself time, my pcp said it is hard for our bodies to cope with life when our hormones are going so wacky and they change by the minute. Hang in there and keep talking to us for help.
You are handling an awful lot of things right now, no wonder you feel lousy. I lost my dad at 47 too and the year or two that followed were rough, really rough. My anxiety was over the top. Xanax really helped me get over the rough spots and so did birth control pills to help even me out. I dont' know if they are an option for you, nor do I want to be a pill pusher, but they worked for me. Be kind to yourself, carve out time to do something that used to make you happy and see if there is still something there that would spark an interest in something good. It takes time to heal and with your inlaws too it is not easy. Give yourself time, my pcp said it is hard for our bodies to cope with life when our hormones are going so wacky and they change by the minute. Hang in there and keep talking to us for help.
i too have a son like that, but i stopped
along time ago worrying about it,there
is not a one thing that worrying can do
except cause anxiety, i pray about it
and leave at that, my sons 31, just moved in with a girl last year with 3 kids, at least
hes out of my house , i love him , but what you dont see dont hurt you, you know what i mean?
they are gonna do what they want no matter how
much preaching we do, and yes ive been where your at, im 49 1/2 now and my worse emotional years
were 45-47. was hospitalized and the whole 9 yrds....
its gotten better the last 2ys, so hold on, it will pass......
along time ago worrying about it,there
is not a one thing that worrying can do
except cause anxiety, i pray about it
and leave at that, my sons 31, just moved in with a girl last year with 3 kids, at least
hes out of my house , i love him , but what you dont see dont hurt you, you know what i mean?
they are gonna do what they want no matter how
much preaching we do, and yes ive been where your at, im 49 1/2 now and my worse emotional years
were 45-47. was hospitalized and the whole 9 yrds....
its gotten better the last 2ys, so hold on, it will pass......
Hello Patty,
I have to say .. many of the things you talk about makes me stressed for you!! Loss is a huge one for me, I lost my father three years ago. Your home life seems very stressed which is something I think you should really try to work on. We all need a safe haven, a place of serenity. Can you claim one room for yourself? Where you can create a special place with elements that you find relaxing and soothing? I found some music really helps me, I prefer instrumentals with flutes, chimes and stuff like that. I also have found if I keep a journal it seems to help, if nothing else helps to focus my feelings. I think you could really benefit from having a place to retreat.
I do not have any children, so I cannot understand all of what your saying. I can tell you I have a close friend who lives in another state who is dealing with all the same things you mentioned. Her son is 23 and is causing many problems in the home. He has taken money, if a fit of rage he destroyed her computer, he talks very disrespectful and has no goals what so ever. She has done all she knows to do to help him find direction, nothing has worked. She is to the point where she really resents his anger and smart mouth towards her which makes her feel guilty. I fear his temper is going to snap one day!! My heart really feels for anyone trying to deal with a child like this. My friend is such a good person, she does not deserve to be treated in this way.
When you mentioned your husband, I know that is a hard one. I force myself to really try to make a special effort the best I can to take care of his needs. I tell myself that he is such a part of my life .. I would be so lost without him and the last thing I want is to create distance between us. The hardest part for me is letting go and relaxing. I read somewhere how a glass of wine can help with intimate feelings. Huh? So, over the past six months I tried and found a glass of wine does help me to relax. It is something I have to really work on, I always use candles and oils .. makes me feel more romantic. Use anything you can think you that makes you feel more sexy! Purfume, lotions what ever will work to help get you in that mind set. I know it's the last thing on our minds but we have to admit it is still a big part our husbands desire. When I do this I feel so much better, it's like I feel good about the effort I made to make him happy. In return, he makes me feel loved and wanted!!
I don't know if any of this helps .. try to find some time and love yourself! Do what ever it is that makes you feel secure and happy. It's important that we take time to do the little things that will help us to feel more positive. I hope you can find some way to improve the issues causing your stress!
You are in my heart,
Vaylorie
I have to say .. many of the things you talk about makes me stressed for you!! Loss is a huge one for me, I lost my father three years ago. Your home life seems very stressed which is something I think you should really try to work on. We all need a safe haven, a place of serenity. Can you claim one room for yourself? Where you can create a special place with elements that you find relaxing and soothing? I found some music really helps me, I prefer instrumentals with flutes, chimes and stuff like that. I also have found if I keep a journal it seems to help, if nothing else helps to focus my feelings. I think you could really benefit from having a place to retreat.
I do not have any children, so I cannot understand all of what your saying. I can tell you I have a close friend who lives in another state who is dealing with all the same things you mentioned. Her son is 23 and is causing many problems in the home. He has taken money, if a fit of rage he destroyed her computer, he talks very disrespectful and has no goals what so ever. She has done all she knows to do to help him find direction, nothing has worked. She is to the point where she really resents his anger and smart mouth towards her which makes her feel guilty. I fear his temper is going to snap one day!! My heart really feels for anyone trying to deal with a child like this. My friend is such a good person, she does not deserve to be treated in this way.
When you mentioned your husband, I know that is a hard one. I force myself to really try to make a special effort the best I can to take care of his needs. I tell myself that he is such a part of my life .. I would be so lost without him and the last thing I want is to create distance between us. The hardest part for me is letting go and relaxing. I read somewhere how a glass of wine can help with intimate feelings. Huh? So, over the past six months I tried and found a glass of wine does help me to relax. It is something I have to really work on, I always use candles and oils .. makes me feel more romantic. Use anything you can think you that makes you feel more sexy! Purfume, lotions what ever will work to help get you in that mind set. I know it's the last thing on our minds but we have to admit it is still a big part our husbands desire. When I do this I feel so much better, it's like I feel good about the effort I made to make him happy. In return, he makes me feel loved and wanted!!
I don't know if any of this helps .. try to find some time and love yourself! Do what ever it is that makes you feel secure and happy. It's important that we take time to do the little things that will help us to feel more positive. I hope you can find some way to improve the issues causing your stress!
You are in my heart,
Vaylorie
I think we should form a union!I'm ready for a strike.My husband says being a t home is not stressfull.I was having a good day til my fan belt blew on the highway.My cell phone was out of minutes and I could'nt add any because the battery died.I had to talk myself out of a anxiety attack and went through a whole pack of gum.My husband didn't have his phone on him so it was fight or flight.Since there was no where to run,I had to fight.I managed to find a phone and got a tow.The driver had heavy rock music on and demonstrated how bad other drivers are on the road as he took me to the garage.After his large collection of baby pics of his daughter,I proceeded the extra 5 miles in the pooring rain home.To make a long story even longer, we don't realize our own strength,we push a head the size of small bowling balls out as well as carrying them for 9 months,then we have to go through meno!!!Not only do we deserve a break,we also deserve a raise, a statue and a bloody metal!
(((((((((Patty))))))))))))
I have been in your place too! DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
Doctors are pains in the butt because they THINK they know it all when in reality they do not. I have had all of the symptoms that you describe plus some.
I was therapy for a while and it helped alot. Coming here is better.
I know it is not a fix for you but remember everyday that you are feeling this way, so are others and that will let you know that you are not dying. It is peri and it is rough but you will get through it. I am in here all the time to get the support, caring, and understanding that these beautiful ladies readily hand out. It is the best therapy in the world.
Hugs to you,
Jeaninne
I have been in your place too! DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
Doctors are pains in the butt because they THINK they know it all when in reality they do not. I have had all of the symptoms that you describe plus some.
I was therapy for a while and it helped alot. Coming here is better.
I know it is not a fix for you but remember everyday that you are feeling this way, so are others and that will let you know that you are not dying. It is peri and it is rough but you will get through it. I am in here all the time to get the support, caring, and understanding that these beautiful ladies readily hand out. It is the best therapy in the world.
Hugs to you,
Jeaninne
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