Hi everyone,
For those of you that know me.......it has been particularly revolting lately......hhhmmmm.
I started on Fish oil about 2 months ago for joint pain and skin care and had to wean myself on to it (I do not have a good tolerance for food, supplements or blessed drugs). I got up to a good dose and my joint pain abated.......then about 3 weeks ago depression with a capital D hit. I have PMDD so crushing melancholia is no stranger along with all the other lovely symptoms as well as peri. But I have always been loathe to name it "depression".
I have suffered clinical depression in the past and been hospitalised for it.......peri melancholia is different for me as well as the PMDD symptoms. It does not have the same longevity as depression, but with the same intensity(peri/PMDD sadness comes and destroys and then leaves almost as quickly...but happens ALOT). This was different. For the last 3 weeks, I have known DEPRESSION and more periods of intense and unrelenting anger and so on. Nothing new right? But this felt DIFFERENT......constant and potent suicidal ideation, inability to feel anything, enjoy anything and just basically feeling horrible.
I thought is this getting worse with age, with time? When will these blessed periods cease and desist? Is it just a REALLY bad cycle? Where are my cognitive skills that usually have gotten me through?.....Yeah well.....
Fish oil is the only different thing......maybe I was taking too much, but the dose I was on was the same dose my mum takes(post meno) and it really helped with my joint pain. Did a bit of a search on it and came up with a nifty enzyme in fish oil that is related to central nervous system and neurotransmitters.......still pretty ignorant on this but interesting that I found some experiences from depression sufferers that complained of the same thing. This enzyme is called acetylcholinesterase, and it can play havoc with people it seems who are "sensitive to it".......not sure what that means yet......but very interesting.
So cut it out 3 days ago, and today I am able to talk at least even if I am supposedly a day away from my period. Better than I was 3 days ago......for those that fish oil helps, that is awesome......but for those that it does not, you are not alone.
Joint pain.....or......depression? Sick of these choices with meds or supplements. Why can't I just take something that helps for goodness sake?
Thanks babes,
Michah
