As most of you know, my daughter moved to Alaska on Monday to marry her boyfriend in the Air Force. She was married yesterday afternoon.

Well, I had been doing great (anxiety-wise) even though I cried my eyes out all afternoon and night Monday. Tuesday was about the same until last night after supper, I started having some dizzies and "funny" feelings. Ok I can live with this, been doing it for years.

This morning was absolutely horrible!!!!!!! I woke up with my head spinning with about a thousand thoughts at once. My heart was not racing but felt like it would burst through my chest any second. I felt the dizzies. I kept telling myself it was all in my head and just anxiety, nothing to worry about. I continued to function but felt outside myself some of the time. I would get so hot but not sweat and just feel like I would pass out any second or die any second. I continued the self talk but to no avail. Finally after lunch I felt so sleepy that I laid down for a bit but could not sleep just kind of dozed and had a sudden feeling of thought (for want of a better word). I thought this is stupid, I have to pull myself out of this funk and get on with things. So I am feeling better somewhat but still having anxiety, heart pounding, dizzies, and general fear of the unknown. I am not on my period right now and am not expecting it for another 10-14 days (although these days I have no idea).

Can anyone tell me if this is normal after the kids leave the nest? Is this depression? Is this another part of anxiety? Is this peri? Is it all of the above?

I am scared to death of being sick with something I do not know about (lovely health anxiety) but I am more afraid of losing my mind and having no idea. I am afraid that one day, I will be committed and cannot do anything about it. UGH!!!!!

Whining here...............WHY OH WHY DO WE HAVE TO ENDURE THIS???? It is so not fair.

Thanks for reading and listening. Hugs to all,
Jeaninne

OH I am so sorry you are dealing with feelings like that. I have no real advice but just wanted to send you some (hugs). I dread the empty nest syndrome.

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this, but it is so understandable - you have been through a lot of emotions over the last few days (and longer). Maybe what you are feeling is a build up of high anxiety and stress - this always wreaks havoc on our peri minds and bodies.

I, like you absolutely dread the children leaving - but it is all a part of them growing up and shows you have done a wonderful job and bought up a daughter who emotionally is ready and feeling confident to leave home. You should give yourself a big pat on the back for that part.

However all that said - I can totally understand how you are feeling. And would just like to send you some hugs to help you get throught this, becasue I too dread the empty nest syndrome.

((((Jeaninne)))))

Jackie

I think it's normal to be really upset with these events - your daughter has traveled a long way away, and she got married, and you weren't there. I would be very upset. I think your body is reacting to the stress of the situation.

I hope you feel better soon. Can she send you pictures of the wedding? Maybe it helps to know she is happy. It's so hard to let our kids go, but you probably raised her to pursue her goals and be happy, and she's doing it. It's just hard when they aren't near by.

WriterMom

Thank you ladies!

I so needed some reassurance. This has been the worst day I have had for some time now. This day can end any ole time and I would be real happy about it.

Yeah, I really think it was a build up of anxiety too. I doubt you have a dreadful disease, I know, I have been there many times myself. I worry that I have something that the doctors missed. Anxiety can give you all the feelings you have been having. I really believe that. This too shall pass. Hang in there.

Hi jeanine,
let me try to reply this time instead of justing reposting yours.
I think you need listen to those symptoms your having. There telling you something. your probably feelining a million different emotions that your just not dealing with because your trying to go on. It makes perfect sense that your daughter that you've had with you for 18 years and is now really far away is a major thing. I'm so close to my 15 yr old daughter Erika. I love seeing that beautiful face everyday. Even when she's frowning and mad at me for something I didnt do. She's my precious daughter I've taken care of as an infant,dressed her in halloween costumes ever year. My favorite was cinderella when she was 4. We spent all these precious years together and I've loved every minute. I know someday soon she will go off to college. Although I know its inevitable that she will lgo off and live her own life and I guess thats the goal. Tp prepare them for that. I will be so heart sick. I miss the younger years with her but I'm savoring these teens years. I love it all. Going to the mall picking out a homecoming dress,helping her through a break up. Watching her walk out of the house having put together an amazing outfit glowing with confidence.

Your dealing with a loss. I think if you dont really acknowlge how hard this you will continue feeling crazy and out of it. As hard as it is we have to feel the pain and loss I dont know exactly what the situation is but try to hang on to when you'll be able to visit, her first child and just hearing about her exciting new life in alaska. Remember the years you had her and savor every one you still have with your son.

I'm heartbroken for you. Just another painful process of life. They just keep coming dont they.

Love& hugs,
Lara

Jeaninne,

Bless your heart .. I hate this is such a bad time for you in many ways! Not only are you trying to deal with what is happening to your body .. you have these other issues that you have no choice but to find a way to process!! I'm so out of whack myself I'm not sure my mind is thinking clearly, but what I see happening is an onset of emotional overload. Too much, too fast! Changes with your body are happening almost overnight, which is a very real reason to cause the panic and stress on our minds trying to understand what is going on. Then you have major life changing events happening with your daughter, her life will never be the same. This is HUGE .. and as far as I'm concerned would be a struggle for any mother to adjust. It's my hope that you feel positive concerning this relationship .. you believe she will be happy and this guy will be a good husband to her. I cannot imagine how a mother would feel if the guy was some sleezeball. So, I do hope he's a good guy who will love and protect her. Then with her now being in another country .. Good Gosh .. that would completely freak me out! Of course I would be in a state of panic at all hours of the live long day!! Would not be able to get my mind off the what if's .. I'm already thinking about them for you right now!

I know you must have some gut feeling of her well being, I pray that it is positive! Stay in close contact with her while adjusting .. that should help some with the what if's. My heart goes out to you .. take care of yourself!! Don't allow this to throw you into an out of control spiral causing everything else to become even more scary! Try some positive affirmations .. that does help me .. sometimes! Not always but they have helped before. Know that we are not in control .. there is a greater force than us! All our worry will not change life or our situations. Worry only drains our energy causing us to become weaker, the worry is like a black hole never ending in our minds!! It eats away until we are left with all this chaos inside!! Try to calm those feelings and know that things will work out the way they are meant to be!!

Eat some ice cream .. it ALWAYS helps me to feel better! Even if it only lasts for 15 minutes!!

Take Care .. Your in my Heart,
Vaylorie

Awwww you all are so sweet to me.
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement.
I finally listened to all of you and listened to my gut. I know my daughter is ok and in good hands. This young man loves her very much and wants what is best for her.

Tonight I literally pulled myself out of bed and told myself in the mirror that this was getting me nowhere and my son needs me just as much as I need him. In my mind, I am focusing on Friday for his surgery. He is thrilled it is happening and I am thrilled for him although I am a little anxious about it but what the heck else is new!!!!

I am not sure how I can express myself in words to you all but you have helped me through some horrifying times. You have helped me learn that I can overcome this stuff and even when I am being dragged behind the wheels of peri, I can still function. With all of your wisdom, encouragement, and caring I can do anything.

Thank you all from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head (as my grandma would say).

Love and hugs to you all,
Jeaninne

Aaah Jeaninne, you have really been through it lately no wonder you feel as you do,glad to read you feel a little better about things, and Congratulations to your daughter may they both be very happy.

And to add hope all goes well for your son on friday

Take good care of yourself

Kath

Hi babe,

So hear you.......no empty nest just yet......but significant change disables me....

Not because I fear change per se......but what emotions are wrought with feelings of standing on the edge, and looking down..

Change gives me physiscal vertigo since all this peri crap goes on........even small change.

For you, it is significant change.......change is neither positive or negative......it is just DIFFERENT.

When my partner asked me to marry him a few weeks ago, I was incredibly happy, but the physiological effects of exhilaration were as debilitating as experiencing the physiological effects of grief. Exhausted, anxious, gut pain, increase in hot flashes and heart palps.......just felt revolting.

So, I think any extremes, whether good or bad, can effect you in the same way........I am totally not surprised with all that has happened that you feel so horrible and distanced from yourself......

Take good care babe.......keep talking.......good or bad.......and be very very kind to yourself......give in to the feelings somewhat and as my partner says "Honey, if you feel sick, stop fighting it. You know fighting it just makes it worse. You know it will pass". Wise words honey......now I just got to listen

Big Big Hugs.....

Michah

You are so right Michah and so is your honey.
Now I have to make myself listen too.
Thank you so much for your post. It made things clearer for me. I am not good with change of any kind and react badly but of course I did not think of this at the time I was feeling so bad. I could only think I was dying or something.

Hugs to you,
Jeaninne